I’m sure you, a genius much like myself, have often looked at chess and thought “This is an idiot’s game for babies, fools, and foolish baby idiots.” I’m sure you, a genius much like myself, will therefore be thrilled to see the launch of 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel. And you, a genius much like myself, will be only too keen to play chess across extra “spatial, temporal, and parallel dimensions”. You, a genius much like myself, certainly will not read the marketing boast “It’s the first ever chess variant with multiverse time travel!” and groan OH GOD HELP.

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Dishonored

is one of my most favourite game series, even with the spelling. In it, you creep and sneak and elegantly stab your way through a part-steampunk, part-magick city (both aspects derived mainly from whales) and its political intrigues. And Death Of The Outsider, a standalone expansion that takes place after Dishonored 2, is that most rare of things: a satisfying ending.

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A long time ago, on a launcher far far away, you couldn’t play Star Wars: The Old Republic on Steam. But the old EA order has given way to the new, and for the past month, a fleet of games once exclusive to Origin have found their way into Valve’s orbit. Today, The Old Republic joined that armada, bringing the venerable MMORPG alongside its Star Wars brethren on Steam for the very first time.

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Now here’s a forecast you can rely on. Risk Of Rain 2 is finally leaving early access next month, and besides an increased chance of precipitation, the alien-blasting romp is adding a whole heap of new features on launch. Expect a new survivor, a new stage, a flashy new server browser and, unfortunately, a little bit of a price hike when it arrives on August 11th. Soz about that last one.

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Hey, can you keep a secret? See, I still haven’t played Rocket League, and I’m a little worried it might be too late. Fortunately, developers Psyonix have just announced that they’re making their spectacular car footy game free-to-play later this year – but there’s a bit of a catch. Once it ditches that pricetag, Rocket League is leaving Steam’s parking lot, taking its acrobatic hatchbacks exclusively to the Epic Games Store.

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New features, new monsters and, of course, a brand new island are what await you in Temtem today, as the Kisiwa Island update has arrived. Crema’s early access Pokémon-like MMO has introduced a whole new area to explore, with 23 new Tems for you to add to your collection. There’s a bunch of other good stuff in this update, too, including a new chat and club feature, as well as an increased level cap for all you seasoned Temtem tamers.

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It shouldn’t cost money to beat up strangers. At least, so reckons Fantasy Strike, a stripped back fighting game from the folks at Sirlin Games, ditched its pricetag in an update earlier today. All modes and all characters – including two new lads Quinn and Onimaru – are now free to beat up without spending a penny, with a suite of cosmetics and a premium subscription now available for those who’d like to chip in for a little more.

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If you’d told me before today that it’s possible to make an upbeat and friendly 3D platformer based on the works of Franz Kafka without undermining the nature of either, I would have found it hard to believe. And yet here we are.

I’ll confess that it’s been a long while since I’ve read The Metamorphosis, and I never had particularly strong feelings about it (save for borrowing a friend’s: “Why apples? If I was after a giant beetle I’d throw… flaming hot knives”). But it’s clear that Ovid Works love Kafka’s books, and their upcoming Metamorphosis is both a solid game and a creative remix of his ideas.

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Ubisoft’s problems seem pretty deep-seated and long-running, what with the dozens of allegations of sexual abuse and discrimination, prolific executives resigning, and the CEO vowing to make “profound” changes “at all levels of the organisation”. From the outside, it sure looks like a cascade of institutional problems which often ignore or punish victims while perpetrators suffer few consequences. This view is further fed by a new Bloomberg report which talked to a number of current and former employees. It also claims that plans for female protagonists in some Ubisoft games were pushed out or reduced by this environment.

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Rock Of Ages 3: Make & Break

has smashed through Steam’s castle gates – presumably squashing the little papercraft Gabe that resides within, killing him instantly. As per the name, Ace Team’s latest boulder-pusher lets you construct your very own delightful fantasy hillsides, each doomed to be crushed by your apocalyptic orb of choice. It’s been a perilous month-long tumble through open beta, but finally, Rock Of Ages 3 is ready to get rolling.

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