Listen, never mind that sharks are not the mindlessly violent animals we’ve been trained to fear, and simply additional victims of mankind’s global vertebrate binge. Dismiss, please, the ongoing cultural rehabilitation of this toothy swimmer, who is statistically quite poor at killing humans. Ignore also their adorable habit of falling asleep when you hold them upside-down. Forget it, forget it all. No more lovey-dovey thoughts for these wondrous aquatic beings, more maligned than malignant. This is a list about videogame sharks. And videogame sharks are the baddies. Here are the 9 deadliest sharks in PC games.

(more…)

I knew Minecraft Dungeons was going to be fun when I played a couple of hours of the beta build last month. I knew this because, well, it was> fun. It was the kind of fun you can fathom within about twelve seconds of starting a game, and the kind you know will be dependable in its simplicity, even if it might not last forever. And hey, guess what? Minecraft Dungeons is really fun! It’s a charming, lively little looter-bruter, with all Minecraft’s aesthetic elements, but absolutely nothing in common with it beyond that.

It’s not going to change the world of action RPGs (that is to say, Diabloids), as it is a fairly simple beast. And it’s a fairly small one too: with a seven hour single player campaign that a proper clicklord could probably breeze through in half the time, it leans heavily on replay value to deliver its 17 quids’ worth of goods. But it is pretty much what I hoped it would be when I wrote my preview, and I have very little to complain about now that I’ve seen the whole thing.

(more…)

Would that doing a games journalism was about sneaking around the offices of a big company, stealing people’s answerphone tapes and rifling through their private documents. Sadly it is not, but The Occupation is!

(more…)

Getting remastered games feels like a bit of a monkey’s paw at this point, doesn’t it? The finger has curled, and we get remasters of all the old games we loved – but we have to play them a decade after their original release, and not as the person we were when we loved them. And I did really love Saints Row. It has this kind of uplifting, ur-adolescent energy, where if you feel like you want to punch the world you probably can, and you can do it dressed as a witch or an alien. Also, I had a massive crush on Johnny Gat.

Saints Row The Third: Remastered is probably the best version of Saints Row The Third you could get. It just depends what that means to you in the cold light of 2020, I suppose.

(more…)

When Command & Conquer: Remastered Collection launches next month, it’ll arrive with a lovely little gift for the modding community. This week, EA announced that some of the source code for both Command & Conquer and Red Alert will be freely accessible at launch, giving modders the groundwork to go wild creating whatever they’d like – up to and including giant tanks that punt nukes out of their big ol’ guns.

(more…)

It’s been a long, arduous voyage through the storms of “being a Windows Store exclusive”, but finally, Sea Of Thieves is making landfall on Steam’s shores. Rare’s lovely little piracy sandbox will drop anchor on June 3rd, letting former Windows sailors carry their progress over to the new vessel with full cross-play between Steam, Windows and Xbox. With two years of updates under its belt, it’ll hopefully launch in a more ship-shape state that its maiden voyage way back when.

(more…)

Last year, second-hand games marketplace G2A made a bet: If any developers or publishers could prove that stolen keys were being sold on G2A, the storefront would pay back the money lost on chargebacks tenfold. Only one studio offered to take them up on the offer, Factorio developers Wube Software. Turns out, Wube were right to suspect stolen sales – and now G2A’s gamble has cost the storefront $39,600 (roughly £32,360).

(more…)

Hitting the wrong hotkey during a MOBA is usually cause for great embarrassment and disparagement. For one lucky League Of Legends team recently, a slip-up miraculously turned into swift and accidental victory. League player “MarviAkaMarv” this week shared a cracking little video of a surprising win that came about after accidentally summoning a giant monster when they meant to do something far more mundane. It is not: high-level play. It is: a pretty great turn of events to watch.

(more…)

If you’re like me, you’ll have been eyeing up Valorant with some curiosity – interested, yet never quite getting around to lurking streams for beta access. It’ll come as good news, then, that Riot are about to open the floodgates to their superpowered tactical shooter, resetting accounts and shutting off servers next Thursday ahead of a full release on June 2nd.

(more…)

Oblivion

was, of course, the story of how an anonymous prisoner happened to meet the Emperor minutes before his assassination, and went on to fulfill an ancient prophecy by being locked up for over 600 years.

What?

That’s the story according to the Unofficial Elder Scrolls Page Twitter account, which twote last night about a character they put in jail for 225,000 days.

(more…)