From the little I’ve played so far, Type Dreams might be the coolest typing tutor edutainment game ever, and yes, I have played the original Typing Of The Dead. Made by Cart Life developer and IGF award-winner Richard Hofmeier and out now, it’s about the history of typing, and the people that typed the fastest. It also has a devil-may-care attitude, an anarchic and occasionally glitchy art style (with an epilepsy-friendly option) and a great soundtrack. There’s even an unlockable collection of smut to practice on – the ultimate challenge for a cool-headed typist.

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Dario Argento, the Italian director known for such horror classics as Suspiria and Deep Red, has lent his name to a horror game. Currently raising funds through Kickstarter, Dario Argento’s Dreadful Bond is a first-person spooker which has earned its name by making Argento the “creative supervisor”. I hope this is a success so he gets more into games then takes over series currently ruled by other titular men. I’d play Dario Argento’s Civilization V. He could revisit his wall-splitting Suspiria days in Dario Argento’s Rainbow Six Siege. Dario Argento’s Battlegrounds. Dario Argento’s Creed Odyssey. A few suggestions there.

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After yonks giggling at goofy GIFs of snake-firing archers and googly-eyed mammoths in Totally Accurate Battle Simulator, we can ourselves pit weird armies against each other in physics-driven foolish fisticuffs. Totally Accurate Battle Simulator entered early access today and yes, I know today is April Fools’ Day but the launch is real. The contents of the game, perhaps less so. Did Vikings really> carry longboats into battle to throw at their enemies? I guess, at the very least, TABS can teach us whether it would have been effective.

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A Kansas court has sentenced a man to 20 years in prison on charges related to swatting, including one incident which started with a $1.50 ( 1.15) bet on a Call Of Duty: WWII match and ended with the police shooting an innocent person dead. Swatting is the not-very-funny prank of phoning emergency services with fake threats so cops bust into the prankee’s house, typically when they’re streaming so the pranker can watch and chortle away. With America’s ha-ha-hilariously militarised police, that brings a fair chance they’ll be killed too. The US legal system has seemed slow to respond to swatting so it’s good to see them recognise how serious it is.

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As time inexorably ticks away, its guttural screaming horror counting down the seconds until our infinite deaths, it’s important we remember what really matters: that the game you like best isn’t as good as the game I like best. The game you like best, the game you like reading about the most, is indicative of how foolish you are, how you’re wasting your precious moments on this planet. Whereas I, liking my> game, am making the most of it.

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One day I suspect we’ll hear the story behind why Avalanche’s Generation Zero feels like being served a pizza that’s all beautifully crisp sourdough base but no sauce whatsoever. It’s a bemusing, hollow misfire as a shooter, barely-there as a story, and its appealing rural Scandi landscapes mask entirely interchangeable interiors that would make an unflattering Ikea stereotype tumble from the lips of even the most old-chestnut-avoidant of commentators.

It is bobbins>. But it didn’t have to be. Moreover, viewed from a certain angle, played a certain way, maybe it still doesn’t have to be. This first-person shooter could be redeemed – but it would need to lose the first-person shooting.

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Lovers of violent neon soap operas, rejoice. Yakuza Kiwami 2, the open world crime caper about a good dad who punches bad, is coming to PC. At least, that’s if the folks who stamp warnings on game boxes are to be believed. The ERSB posted that a PC version of the game has been given a rating of M for Mature, as spotted by a Reddit user yesterday. The ERSB is the US-based ratings organisation who tell you how many bad drugs there are in your shooty-bang. We are comforted by their summary of the game, which confirms that The words f**k, sh*t, and a*shole appear in the dialogue.

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Super Meat Boy and Bandage Girl may dash ever onwards at a steady pace in Super Meat Boy Forever, but the’s game development isn’t so simple, and developers Team Meat are delaying it from the planned April launch to… when it’s done. Team Meat big cheese Tommy Refenes told our roving reporter Katharine, during PAX East this weekend, that the auto-running sequel to Super Meat Boy is coming along nicely but they just need more time to make all the gamestuffing.

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If fighting through hordes of endless demons committed to sucking life from your soul sounds fun, I bet you’re loving this Monday morning of corporate April fool’s japes. Refuge can be found in Devil May Cry 5‘s Bloody Palace, where you also fight through hordes of endless demons, but also have motorcycle swords or robo-arms that fire ridable rockets.

It’s a free mode that launched earlier today. I’ve thrown my (xp-gambling) hat into the ring, but the naughty demons keep stamping on it.

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Batman – The Telltale Series should probably have been called Bruce Wayne – The Telltale Series given how little screen time the Dark Knight actually gets in the first season of this ill-fated episodic adventure game, but I’d argue that it made for a more meaningful take on some of his relationships with the wider Batman cast – and specifically a person who’s obviously very close to Bruce’s heart: Harvey Dent, aka Two Face.

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