You read that right! (Unless you read "live" in its "lɪv" verb form instead of its "laɪv" adjective form, in which case you didn't actually read that right.) The Jungle Inferno Update is live! The Jungle Inferno Campaign! New Pyro weapons! War Paint! Cases! Taunts! It's all here, and it's all in-game and ready to play! See you there!
As in: really reallllllly close. (Promise.)
Typically we ship updates on a Thursday, so those of you expecting the Jungle Inferno Update to flip live today, you might want to sit down for this next part. If you're already in a comfortable sitting position, you might want to sit up straighter, because we're about to tell you we're delaying a day and we don't want you to twist your lumbar.
We're delaying a day. The update's almost finished, but it's a pretty big one, and we wanted another day to get everything ready and stress test it a little more. Our current plan is to release the update early tomorrow. Here's a big list of the changes, additions and fixes we'll be shipping tomorrow in the meantime.
Can you smell the smoke in the air? If so, holy crap your house is on fire. Listen to us: Stop reading this update right now and call the fire department. Then come back, relax, and read about Pyro's new weapons while you're waiting for them to show up.
Jungle Inferno Update news can't be contained, much like the velociraptors in a movie we've been explicitly ordered not to mention. Or in the unrelated novel Jurassic Park, where the exact same thing happens, except no lawyers yell at whoever wrote the book version to stop stealing from Jurassic Park.
Why? Because nobody likes reading. And since these are boring reading words you're mouthing right now, let's get straight to the exciting video game parts.
If Jurassic Park taught us one thing, it's life finds a way. If Jurassic Park taught us two things, it's life finds a way and Jurassic Park is a good idea to steal for an update. And if Valve's legal team has taught us one thing, it was by screaming at us about not telling you the second thing Jurassic Park taught us.
If people screaming at us has taught us one thing, it's that loud noises make us so anxious we forget where the backspace key is, so we're just plowing ahead and are happy to announce our wholly original update about deadly animals escaping from a theme park. Because life finds a way, which is the only thing we stole learned from Jurassic Park.
(10th anniversary community mosaic image courtesy of TF2 subreddit)
On October 9th, 2007, Team Fortress 2 was released to the world. Also some other games shipped too, in a game collection called The Orange Box, but between you and us, we were never really happy with how it was marketed:
And now, ten years, 624 updates, 100+ maps, 60 billion kills, 20 trillion in damage done, 6 billion items created, 2 billion headshots, and lots and lots of hats (so many hats) later, Team Fortress 2 celebrates a solid decade in gaming! Of course, there's really nobody else to thank for that but you, the loyal player. Thanks for letting us share this ride with you! We have one of the best communities any game could ask for, and we've loved growing the game with all of you into the weird, wonderful thing it is today!
What's next, you ask? We're putting the finishing touches on a mammoth new update, and it'll be shipping in the very near future, we promise. How near? Well, very. Imminent. Not this week imminent, but you know. Really soon.
Also, we should mention that Shapeways is launching a Valve Design Contest to reward the best designs with epic prizes from Valve and Shapeways. The grand prize winner will receive a Team Fortress 2 Grey Medic statue and $500 in Shapeways printing credit, so if you're good at 3D design and like prizes, head on over and check it out!
Here's to another decade!