Dirt 4 has just arrived, and it's got me in a racing mood. It's currently full price, though, and since I'm also in a Don't Really Want To Spend Money mood, I took a quick look to see what other new racing games might be on the market. Browsing Steam's new racing releases, my eye fell upon a game called Cart Racer, which is tagged with the words 'Action, Racing, Nudity, Casual.' I'm unfamiliar with the Nude Racing genre, but I do like Action—especially of the Casual variety—and it's was priced at under a dollar. Sold!
I quickly found that Cart Racer, while the 'Cart' part of the title is accurate, isn't really a racing game. There's no timer, and no opponents. Your biggest adversary is the shopping cart you're supposed to be riding in, and the not-great controls, and the physics, and the fact that the moment you touch anything you become a floppy deceased ragdoll. I found that just jumping into the cart to start riding was about the toughest part of the game.
It's on my 23rd attempt that I finally make it successfully into the shopping cart, and begin to roll downhill, at which point I realize I don't know what the goal of riding in the cart actually is, since for so long I have been simply trying to land in the cart itself. I careen down the street, at which point I get a healthy taste of the physics on display.
After a few more failed attempts to get into the cart again, I manage another trip down the hill, figuring I'm supposed to be speeding into the alleyway next to the building, but when I finally make it (several attempts later) there's nothing really back there (the rear of the building isn't even skinned). It takes a while, but I finally spot the small yellow circle at the bottom of the hill that I'm actually supposed to be aiming for.
Once I manage to steer safely into the finish zone, a barricade and ramp appear at the bottom of the hill. Ah-ha! This isn't a racing game, but it's got jumps. I leap into the cart (well, I miss once again before making it) and head for the ramp to prepare a sick jump.
I'm on my 44th attempt since beginning the game when I finally manage to hit the ramp, then sail face-first into the 3rd floor window, which shatters. While my floppy body doesn't make it inside, I glimpse a topless woman (of course) awaiting my arrival on a bed (of course) before I drop to the ground in a tangle of dead limbs.
So, I'm supposed to launch myself into the bedroom. I spend the next several minutes intermittently failing to jump into the cart, missing the ramp, hitting the ramp but missing the window, hitting the window but not going through it, and even making it through the window but either falling short of the topless woman's bed or sailing clean over it, neither of which count as a success.
I do pull off one sweet trick (during attempt 87) where I manage to smash into the window, then fall back to street level where I land perfectly in my shopping cart again. I'm dead, but darned if I don't look cool, provided any witnesses didn't also see the first 86 things I did.
Eventually (on attempt 154!) I make it through the window and plop close enough to the bed where the topless woman decides I've adequately proven my devotion to her. Hooray.
The next challenge is to launch off an even taller ramp onto the roof and into the open door of a helicopter (presumably being operated by a topless pilot). This happens during attempt 194—which is noteworthy, since I had mentally set my limit at 200 tries before I would close the game and delete it forever. Alas, I am transported to a new 'map', a snow-covered mountain, where I instantly forget how to jump into the cart all over again.
After (eventually) making it down the mountain, I then have to begin flying off jumps in an attempt to slam my shattered body into a waving (not topless) Santa Claus perched on top of a boulder, which is about where I decide I've maybe had enough of Cart Racer, finally calling it quits around attempt 250.
Cart Racer cost me 84 cents on Steam, which isn't a bad deal, though it's worth pointing out that spending 84 cents on anything isn't a bad deal. It's also worth pointing out that you can't turn Cart Racer's music down or even off, and it doesn't save your progress, so it's not exactly a good deal, either.
This month Warframe will be getting its next major update, bringing a new playable Warframe named Harrow, new items, and a complete visual overhaul of the Earth maps. While Harrow has already been shown off a bit, we've got an exclusive before-and-after look at Earth's sweet new remastered terrain.
You can watch the trailer above to see the differences in motion, or use the slider images below to compare some screenshots side by side. While much of the actual layouts of the levels seem to be staying the same, they've been given improved lighting, extra foliage, better textures, and a whole lot of other improvements. Frankly, the difference is stunning, with some scenes almost looking like an entirely different game.
Despite this upgrade, developer Digital Extremes says players shouldn't notice any difference in performance. Digital Extremes art director Mat Tremblay told me that developing Warframe for both high and low end PCs has been in their mind since the very beginning of development. "Even though we have done a lot to add lushness to our Grineer Forest locations," Tremblay said, "we have also taken steps to improve performance within systems that would have been negatively impacted by such changes."
Warframe is also still bound to its PS4 and Xbox One versions, so even as PC technology gets better, the game can't stretch too far past its initial performance floor. But Tremblay doesn't think that limits them from doing what they want. "In the time since we first released the set there have been numerous updates to our engine," he said. "We try to push ourselves, and our technology, beyond those limits but sometimes we have to get creative in the way that achieve our intended goal."
And Earth is just the beginning, with more visual remasters on the way. "We want to remaster all of the art sets, eventually, to fix some of the issues that have resulted from updating our tech but also because we have evolved as developers," Tremblay explained. I asked him if there were any assets in particular he had his eye on improving, and he said "nothing is sacred."
"The re-mastery is not our primary focus but we do have teams of developers working to update each set starting with the earliest released sets. The ultimate goal being that we bring them all up to our new standard." And it's been clear recently how much Digital Extremes and its tech has improved since Warframe's initial launch—all of its latest additions to the game have outshined its early work graphically. "We are still very proud of the game we have created, but we all evolve, and so should our game."
Tremblay says one of the reasons they started with Earth is because they "wanted to improve one of the first planets players see." Everyone who starts fresh will now be immediately introduced to the game with these upgraded visuals, but Tremblay also hopes it will pull long time players back to a planet they maybe haven't visited in awhile. "Above all, our hope is that players who have been with us for so long, but perhaps have not visited a location like Earth recently, are drawn back to see what we have done."
"With improved lighting, a conversion to PBR materials and workflow and a new vegetation system, we’re able to create mood and atmosphere in a much more significant way than when we first released the Grineer Forest set back in January 2014." This gives Digital Extremes a chance to really show what it and the Evolution Engine is capable of now, experimenting with techniques they simply didn't have access to at the time.
Tremblay told me that "even after four years now, we still have a big list of To-Dos!" That's certainly in the style of Warframe, as Digital Extremes is always working on or updating something. So while revamping art assets may not be the main focus of their team, it's not unreasonable to expect more of the game's familiar faces get a makeover before too long.
Do you love playing games but wish you could make one yourself? It's not that hard to get started, and RPG Maker is a great tool which is becoming more and more popular. There's a big Degica sale going on right now on the Humble Store, where you can find various RPG Maker versions, plus a bunch of actual RPGs, at discount prices.
RPG Maker is responsible for hundreds of games per year being released on Steam. They're not all classics, of course, but quite magnificent games like To the Moon were designed using it. It used to be more of a hobbyist tool, but it's now become wildly popular on Steam for a variety of reasons.
RPG Maker MV is the newest of the tools on sale, and can be found for 60 percent off. Prior to MV's release, RPG Maker VX Ace was the most robust of the programs, and it's a massive 80 percent off right now. Various other RPG Makers are cheap too, but those two are the ones you should be looking at if you want to make something a bit more complex.
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MMOs can’t thrive in mediocrity. In order for a game in this genre to please a consistent or growing player base of the size necessary to keep an MMO world ticking over, there needs to be something about it that’s both different and brilliant. Upon first launch three years ago, The Elder Scrolls Online did not have this essential ingredient. It felt too much like an MMO by-the-numbers and its splash of Tamriel flavouring was not quite enough to set it apart.
Since then it’s been added to, revamped and revitalised, with One Tamriel, which opened up the world via a level scaling system, and Zenimax Online’s forays into more flavoursome RPG storytelling with its Orsinium DLC (among others). Morrowind, ESO’s first additional ‘Chapter’ (the developer is weirdly reluctant to use the word ‘expansion’), is a fresh mark in the sand for the game, a point from which fans will be able to say it really found its place in the wider pantheon of MMOs. And that place is as a teller of great stories.
I’m fairly late into a particularly long session of playing when the effectiveness of ESO’s new storytelling potential hits me. I have spent the better part of two hours in Sadrith Mora, entangled in the plight of Sun-in-Shadow, an Argonian slave with untapped magical abilities and an enthusiasm for the local mage community’s propensity for political intrigue. As I jog about the town, chatting to other wizards and councilors on her behalf, smoothing her possible path to a higher rank, little nuggets of exposition are expertly planted all adding extra spice to proceedings. There’s Eoki, a love-spurned fellow slave waiting for his one-time partner to free him. There’s a deep seeded racism in the council chamber, with one character in particular seeming to hold a meaty grudge against Sun-in-Shadow’s lizard-folk.
And then there’s Sunny herself. Each time I return to her to hand in a quest I find myself combing her dialogue to find hints of her true motives, buffeted as I am in this beautifully overgrown collection of fungal towers between viciously ambitious mages all out to get their own way. Each time I’m handed a quest which requires a brisk stomp across the open map I find myself setting out again, despite the late hour, not because I want to get the promised loot at the end of the trail, and not to tick off an objective in my journal. Instead I keep going into the early hours because I just really need to see how this all plays out.
There are stories involving magicians with cat allergies, or Nords having their pants stolen while drunkenly running away from goblins.
Part of the reason the stories in Morrowind are so moreish is that they are not of the typically fusty sort you might expect from a high fantasy setting. There are stories involving magicians with cat allergies, or Nords having their pants stolen while drunkenly running away from goblins, or literal cowl-wearing vigilantes in need of aid as they bid for local justice (that last one comes complete with ESO’s equivalent of a Commissioner Gordon). These tales are great, threaded, winding and frequently unpredictable. They’re often funny, too. One such tale sees me chase after a bumbling archeologist dark elf at the behest of his fawning downtrodden assistant, Elfbetta. You really do get a sense that the writers are having an outrageous amount of fun, despite being under pressure to offer fans a location that delivers on 15 year-old treasured memories of their first excursion to Vvardenfell in The Elder Scrolls III. It’s very easy to find yourself gasping, laughing and generally going along for the ride with them.
The setting plays a huge part in that. Stepping off the boat at the start of the chapter in Seyda Neen in full high texture quality, contemporary-o-vision is a powerful thing for those that were there 15 years ago. And the whole map is full of moments like this, from the half-built cantons of Vivec City (ESO’s Vvardenfell is chronologically set 700 years prior to Morrowind), to the ever-present lurking of the volcanic Red Mountain at the island’s centre. There are constant nods sprinkled throughout the game for veterans to enjoy, and, importantly, these don't feel like obligated fan service. The team re-building this world clearly harbours a love for the original.
And it’s easy to see why. For those that weren’t there all those moons ago, Vvardenfell is an exceptional backdrop for a fantasy game. It’s an almost alien landscape, where looming mushrooms tower overhead and biomes shift from dense foliage to ash-choked badlands. This is mirrored in the soundscape as well. There are refrains that will instantly trigger your memory, such as the rousing main theme, but there are incidental sounds which layer atop your otherwise sedate exploration, further fleshing out the world. The low groan of a silt strider. The chirping of a chitinous bug. This is not a typical fantasy land and, despite the inherent nostalgia, it feels as fresh now as it did back then.
What doesn’t feel that fresh at all is the game’s combat. This is an area that has had only minor improvements over the last three years. It's still clunky, preoccupied with left and right mouse clicks in time with over-egged animations and stun markers. The new player class, the Warden, is perhaps a telling indicator of how uninspiring the existing classes are to pick from and why they are so hard to even remember beyond the character creation screen.
The Warden is capable of performing in DPS, healing and tank roles, and boasts an ultimate ability which sees a persistent bear guardian follow you around to aid in combat. It can do everything well, basically, and picking anything other than Warden when starting the game afresh now feels like the wrong thing to do. That’s great if you’re just starting out, but for those already wondering why they bothered picking Nightblade three years ago, the itch to just start over and get yourself a friggin’ bear will likely be high.
I can't help but wonder (and I do this whenever I ponder the class system of an MMO I happen to be dipping into) why more games in this genre don't look towards FFXIV’s excellent class system, which simply lets your one main character be whatever you want it to be, whenever you want it to be. In ESO, and its new Morrowind excursion especially, I ache for the freedom of character development proffered up by the game’s mainline inspirations.
One thing that is great about the Warden—again, to the detriment of the other classes—is that it is a very readable class. With all characters capable of wearing any armour sets, it can be hard in a pinch to clock what role any given player character is supposed to fill. Is that fully plated cat-person over there a tank or a healer? With the Warden, well, she’s got a bloody bear next to her for a start. Each ability performed is also given a telltale series of persistent animations. A load of mushrooms sprouting at that Warden’s feet? Then she’s a healer. Covered in ice? Then she’s a tank. It’s a shame that the old classes remain comparatively unmemorable or unreadable.
Given the quality of the storytelling in the main event and the fact it can all be tackled solo, it does beg the question: why make this an MMO at all? In Morrowind, there are not too many explicit excuses to partner up. In fact, in terms of PvE, there’s a new 12 player Trial (ESO’s version of a raid) and that’s about it. The Halls of Fabrication Trial suffers from the same problems that the game’s existing Trials do, and that is that there’s little incentive to get that involved.
Given the quality of the storytelling in the main event and the fact it can all be tackled solo, it does beg the question: why make this an MMO at all?
In ESO, as I mentioned above, the thing that keeps you pushing on is that you want to find out what happens next, not what loot will drop at the end. As such you may want to pal up and complete a Trial, but will it become your go-to endgame runner? I doubt it. It’s weird to suggest this, but unless you're into PvP, and the game's robust new Battlegrounds maps, then this iteration of Morrowind feels like an MMO only because of circumstance, not design.
Those Battlegrounds are really well put together for those that are inclined, however. The stages themselves are full of vertical spaces and open killing grounds, tight corners to get the drop on foes and other such neat touches. The new format of 4v4v4 is also a neat addition, as it requires coordination to consistently succeed, but leaves enough breathing room for unsteady alliances and fun match-based emergent stories. Ultimately joining in with PvP involves the same sticky combat system, and it’s not enough to sustain you into the hundreds of hours.
On the hunt for a new game to power through to the endgame of with a bunch of guild mates? ESO: Morrowind, despite being hugely improved from the base game, still isn't going to scratch that itch. But this new chapter is one of the most encompassing and charming repositories for great stories I’ve played in a long time. Morrowind is an essential excursion for those of a certain gaming vintage, loaded as it is with reverence for that 15 year-old adventure. It’s also an ideal way for those unfamiliar with the original Morrowind to discover this enrapturing landmass for the first time. Just don’t feel like you need to invite all of your friends along for the trip.
Last month we rather breathlessly reported that Yooka-Laylee would soon get a patch, allowing you to 'reduce gibberish voices', among other things. Well, now the full patch notes have emerged, and for anyone unsatisfied or massively irritated by certain aspects of the retro 3D platformer, it'll probably be worth revisiting once the patch is deployed later this month.
Among the additions, a new optional camera mode stands out, which boasts "minimal assist" (I assume this means the camera will have a mind less of its own). The camera has been tweaked in other areas, too: there are less scripted camera sequences, and "door cams" will now appear behind the player.
Meanwhile, all arcade games have had design tweaks, and the aforementioned "skip the bloody annoying gibberish dialogue" has been confirmed. Oh, and cut-scenes can be skipped entirely, too. Here's the full list, while the full update post can be read over here:
Pagies have added signposts to Hivory Towers to help guide players to new worlds
Design tweaks to all arcade games
Speed improvement to scrolling through Totals Menu
New option for shorter ‘gibberish’ voice sound FX
New speech volume option
New ability to speed through dialogue by holding Y
Cut-scenes can now be skipped with Y
New moves section added to pause menu, with image guide
Camera design improvements throughout game (less scripted cameras, door cams now appear behind player etc)
Restart option added in the pause menu during arcade games and Kartos challenges
‘Sonar-able’ objects now have more clear visual identity
Laser move no longer requires player to crouch
Minecart control improvements and new visual effects
Transformation control improvements
Improved first-person aiming controls
New first-person aiming control options added
Improved flying controls
When transformed, collecting butterflies now restores energy
Hunter tonic now tracks the last 30 Quills and Casino Tokens, in addition to the Health and Power Extenders. It will also whistle at the location of the closest rare collectable.
Health UI is now always visible when low
Design tweaks in various areas (Black Hole in One, Gloomy Gem Grotto etc)
New icons added for keyboard/mouse controls
Improved Rampo boss fight
Added PC Display Settings to the in-game pause menu
After months of debate, speculation, and frenzied argument, franchising has finally come to the North American LCS for the Summer Split. Riot have released a detailed post about the details of their new plan, and there’s a lot to like about the new financial models. Fans and orgs alike have been interested in an end to relegations, a solid structure to invest in, and a better Challenger environment. Riot’s new plan answers a lot of the questions that organizations and investors had, and builds a foundation for more plans to come.
Goodbye, relegations
To start, there will no longer be a promotion tournament at the end of each split. The promotion tournament put the worst LCS teams in an arena with the best CS teams, and they would fight for the bottom two LCS slots. In theory, this allowed for scrappy Cinderella stories of young orgs rising to the top and clawing victory from older teams. In practice, relegation killed organizations. If a team didn’t make it in, or dropped out of the LCS, there was a very good chance that it was the end of that organization. To make matters worse, relegations was a weight hanging over every pro. A few bad games can put someone on tilt, but when that could possibly lead to the end of your career, everything becomes more intense.
2017 is a notable year, as we didn’t see any relegations between Spring and Summer. It can be argued that Liquid got in only thanks to borrowing legendary ADC Doublelift from TSM, but they earned their spot regardless. In 2018, teams will apply for an LCS slot. Earning an LCS slot protects you from relegation, and provides some stability; one bad split is no longer a potential death sentence. In fact, teams will be more likely to experiment with new players or young talent instead of desperately grabbing at any import they can or maintaining an unhealthy environment to stay above the promotion tournament line.
Photo credit: Riot Games
On the other hand, if you’ve watched the split where a Team Coast completely washes out, you know how negative a viewing experience it is to have a dead fish team that shows up only to get completely stomped each week. Riot is tackling this in two ways: first, there are going to be financial bonuses for higher ranking teams. If bragging rights aren’t good enough, a giant cheque will suffice for most players. Finally, relegations can kick in if teams finish bottom two five times over an eight-split span. That means if you’re consistently failing without any signs of improvement, Riot can pull the plug and get a fresh org into the league. However, their wording does suggest that this may not happen in every case, suggesting Riot isn’t planning on making any absolute rules about their esports ecosystem.
Hello, partnerships with organizations
Of course, this raises the question of why an application is necessary. There are ten teams in the LCS, right? Riot is looking to pick the organizations who enter the LCS, looking for organizations who have the “welfare and support of pro players on their teams as one of their top priorities.” The official release explains that this goes beyond coaching players for the game themselves, but preparing players for life outside the game. Some organizations are already offering these opportunities, but it becomes a much more attractive prospect if it’ll get you a spot in the LCS. Of course, this isn’t a purely altruistic venture. Organizations who want into the LCS will pay a $10 million buy-in cost.
This is, in theory, a win-win for Riot. They get to pick the best organizations who will work with them and present the best front, and they also get to create an ecosystem that doesn’t burn players out or create adults who don’t know how to function in the real world outside the LCS stage. The downside is that these requirements will require a lot of infrastructure. Organizations will be buying into the league and maintaining the staff it takes to maintain a healthy, positive environment. So, what happens to the little guys in League?
Well, every team is going to have an academy team now as part of the deal. This creates a talent development and scouting league, and as teams evolve and grow (especially without relegations haunting them), these players can get promoted to the A team.
Photo credit: Riot Games
Here comes the money
It’s impossible to bring up a deal like this without talking about how teams can profit. Riot is offering some juicy financial incentives to teams who pay to enter the partnership. Orgs will be getting a share of league-based revenues, including media deals and digital goods with a teams brand on it (think League icons with your favourite LCS team’s logo). Teams can also make bonuses based off of ‘viewer engagement’. Presumably, this means if a meme team similar to the new Delta Fox lineup of all star streamers entered the LCS, Riot would reward the increased eyeballs on screen accordingly.
This agreement goes both ways: teams share what they make as well off their merch sales and sponsorship deals.
Hopefully, it’s pros who benefit the most from this arrangement. In addition to performance bonuses, we’ll be seeing raised minimum salaries for all NA LCS pro players to $75k. There’ll also be a revenue sharing option. Riot explains it like this: “Players will earn their full salary throughout the year, and if the players' share of league revenue is greater than their combined salaries for the year, the difference will be distributed to the players directly. If the share is less than the sum of the salaries, players won't have any money recalled—all salaries will be 100% guaranteed.”
What’s interesting is this all only applies to the North American LCS. The European LCS will still be dealing with relegations, promotions, and the traditional model. Then again, North America doesn’t have multiple big brands battling it out in the Challenger circuit. This model does give Riot the power in choosing their ten LCS teams and applying standards, but if it succeeds, organizations have a lot to gain as well. Most importantly, pros will be getting not only pay raises and bonuses, but also guaranteed mentoring and training. Hopefully this new era of the LCS lives up to the initial expectations and hype, because it could usher in a golden age for players looking to make it pro.
The Binding of Isaac creator Edmund McMillen told the world last month that he and collaborator Tyler Glaiel had been working on a brand new project that was very near, but not quite ready for, an official announcement. Today he unveiled that project as The End is Nigh, "a sprawling adventure-platformer where you die a lot, but that's okay because you are probably already dead anyway."
The End is Nigh puts players in control of Ash, "one of the few 'things' that have 'survived' the 'end of the world'," as the Steam description puts it. "Follow Ash as he flops his way through a future of pain and suffering. Feel his stress levels rise as you throw him into an endless swarm of decaying, mutant animal-like creatures and help aid his final epic quest... to simply make a friend (out of pieces of people he finds along his journey)."
You will also collect videogame cartridges and tumors, "if that does anything for ya."
The reveal trailer gets very loud and sweary in spots, so depending on where you are right now, you might want to turn the volume down or throw on some headphones before you watch it, or just wait until later.
McMillen said in his May tease that The End is Nigh is "easily one of the largest games I've ever made," and it appears that he wasn't kidding. The game will include over 600 levels spread across 12 (and possibly more) chapters, with 80+ achievements, more than 20 "fully playable mini game cartridges" (each with their own achievements) and hundreds of "little squishy tumors" to collect, 80+ main-game achievements to earn, and "loads of hidden extras and endings that you will probably see someone else find before you do."
"Stress" is also cited as a feature, and based on the teaser I can see why. The End is Nigh looks really good as a high-mortality twitch-platformer, which is exactly the kind of game that drives me almost immediately apoplectic. I can respect and even admire games like that, but I sure can't play 'em.
The End is Nigh is set to come out on July 12. Pricing hasn't been set, but the very McMillen-esque system requirements are below and you can find out more at edmundm.com.
You're going to see a lot of my poop in this story, but if it's any comfort to you, the amount of poop you're going to see is far, far less than I saw while creating it. Ark: Survival Evolved is probably the poopinest game ever made, with dinos and humans constantly dropping turds all over the map. It's not just for laughs: dung is used in the creation of fertilizer for farming, but having to pick up all that poop with your bare hands and carry it around in your pants is a little gross. Especially human poop.
A little bit of civilization arrived in Ark in the last update: namely, functioning toilets. Naturally, I wanted to build myself a bathroom: there's something nice about the idea of being able to use a proper toilet instead of just having a doot fall out of me while in the midst of a conversation or task.
I have a little house (it's more of a box) on an island I share with my friend and tribemate, Katie, and I've decided to add a restroom to it. I begin by building a couple of interior walls and a door to serve as a tiny bathroom, and then get to work crafting the toilet. Naturally, this being Ark, the crafting ingredients are ludicrous, requiring 40 units of crystal. For what? I don't really know, but considering a jousting lance requires 260 metal ingots and 100 units of obsidian (and no wood, mind you!), I suppose I'm getting off easy.
After a quick jaunt to a nearby cave to collect crystal, some rock mining to gather metal, some tree chopping (my favorite) for wood, I build the toilet, place it in the new restroom, sit on it, and try to take a dump. I can't. I wait a while, but there's still no deployment. Finally, I decide to start chowing down on the dozen or so lambchops I'm carrying. I know it's not exactly classy to eat on the can, especially when there's a grubby monkey on my shoulder, but I'm eager to try out my new throne.
After eating a dozen chops and periodically pressing the defecate button, I finally take a shit. However, it appears to fall out of my ear and land on the toilet seat next to me. That's the thing about plumbing: you've got to hook it up to something. Though it's technically a chair with a hole in it, and the poop should just fall in regardless, it won't: I need a water supply to make my toilet go.
My house is some distance from the beach, and I really don't feel like running pipes all the way across the island, so I figure I'll just add a water tank behind my house, connect it with a pipe, and either manually fill it or wait for it to rain. I build and place the tank, craft some water skins, fill them in the lagoon, and drop them into the tank. The tank still shows itself as empty, though, and the toilet looks empty as well. Again, I can sit on the toilet, it but it won't work, and my dumps just land on the seat next to me.
Luckily, it begins to rain, and soon my tank is filled. Peering into the toilet, I can see water inside. Perfect! I sit down, but I'm not ready. I mean, I'm ready, but my body isn't. I kill a few sheep, cook up more chops on the grill, and eat roughly 40 of them in a row. Then I squeeze out another deposit.
Basically, the same thing happens. It won't go into the toilet, it just lands right there next to me. I can't tell what's wrong: there's water in the tank, there's water in the pipes, and there's water in the toidy. But my doots aren't splashing down. Am I missing something? Is there an attribute or skill I need to level? Do I need to unlock a 'Knows How To Take A Dump' Engram?
I take all the shit out of my inventory—I've collected five of them by now, the ones that dropped out of me while I've been working and running around—and start lobbing them at the toilet. After several throws I eventually get one in, but there's no option to flush. I'm perplexed. Maybe the toilet doesn't work with the tank, which would be odd since toilets are traditionally, you know, tanks.
Fine. I'll just spend the entire night crafting water pipes and run a mess of plumbing from the lagoon, up the beach, over to the house, and through the back wall. This isn't difficult, just time consuming, and the line of pipes are pretty ugly along the landscape (thankfully, they can be made invisible).
Eventually, I've got pipes leading from the water all the way to my house. I demolish the tank, but discover a new problem: the pipes leading from the beach are at a different angle than the pipe protruding from the house, because I've unfortunately placed the toilet itself at a slight angle. I have to demolish the existing toilet, run the new pipe in, and build a second toilet. I need a bit more crystal for the second toilet, which means another trip to the cave.
It's been, like, two in-game days now spent gathering resources, crafting, placing pipes, killing sheep, eating lambchops on the toilet, and throwing shit around the bathroom, but I've got the pipes running into the house now. Problem? Yes, of course. The new toilet won't sit against the wall on top of the pipe. It will only let me place it in the middle of the bathroom, which is displeasing to the eye.
In frustration I demolish one section of stone foundation, hoping I'll be able to attach the toilet and then place the new foundation under it, but doing so collapses the entire back wall of the bathroom (which is also the back wall of my house). No wonder contractors charge so much: plumbing is a pain in the ass.
At last, after sitting in my partially destroyed bathroom, now monkeyless (I have long since thrown my pet away in frustration), and consuming at least forty more lambchops (many sheep died to bring us this bowel movement), the moment finally arrives. I hit the shit button, my character grunts and waves his arms as if in pain (perhaps I should add some vegetables to my diet), and low and behold, I have successfully dropped the kids off at the pool.
I’m one of the three-million-plus PC gamers who have jumped into the 100-player Battle Royale-style deathmatches of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. It’s captivated me totally, and that initially came as a surprise until I started drawing comparisons between it and another game that I truly love: tournament poker. It turns out that the two share a lot of the same hooks.
A field of many, but there can be only one
Poker tournaments are often characterized by large entry fields, but typically only around 10 percent of the entry field will get paid. The rewards also escalate non-linearly. Even in a tournament of 200 players, the payouts between 5th place and 3rd place will differ dramatically. The most skilled pros will not cash in most tournaments. In fact, the emphasis is so strong on winning that most pros would rather lose while pursuing a strategy that could result in a win than make a little money with a strategy that isn’t likely to give them a shot at the final table.
PUBG has the same dynamic. Of course in any multiplayer game you want to win, but most of the time you are competing with a handful of other players or teams. Battlefield 1 accommodates 64 players, but you're still winning or losing as a team consisting of half of that large field. PUBG is all about the elusive Chicken Dinner (1st place). Top players on the solo leaderboard might have a win rate of 10 or 20 percent, far different from a game of Overwatch, where you essentially have a 50/50 chance every single game. Starting out with long odds in PUBG makes it all the sweeter when you do win. It’s a powerful motivator.
Skill and luck
Poker obviously features a large degree of luck. However, over the long view of many hands, tables, and situations, differences in skill are crucially important and assert themselves. Pros survive and support themselves with their winnings, whereas less skilled players don’t. However, even the highest skill levels cannot prevent the hated “bad beat.” You can make all the right decisions but still lose. While maddening, it’s part of the game.
Sometimes it s worth taking the gamble in order to double-up your chips.
PUBG demands tons of skill, both in terms of mechanical execution (shooting) and also decision making and tactical awareness. However, luck is not inconsequential. No matter how skilled you are, there is always a chance that you will draw poorly on loot, open the match with an awkward plane trajectory, find a car with no fuel, or get engaged from the worst possible angle at the worst possible time. Sometimes you're in the 15x scope of some jerk with an AWM and there’s nothing you could’ve done. That goes both ways, of course—loot quality varies even in known hotspots. If you manage to get your favorite weapon with your favorite scope and attachments early on, it’s a godsend.
Circle placement is another element of luck. In a game yesterday, three of our squad died early on. The fourth member camped in a house and watched as every successive circle remained concentric on her. She didn’t have to move until the very last circle, which was a mere five meters away. Sometimes you get good cards!
Deconstructing losses
One of the most important traits of great poker players is what they do after the game. Most have terrific hand recall (memory), and can step back through played hands and identify where they made a mistake. This becomes fuel for correcting mistakes in the future when they find themselves in similar situations.
I find myself constantly doing this with PUBG. Almost every time I die, I can think of something I did wrong. I didn’t take proper cover; I left my cover too soon; I reloaded at the wrong time; I didn’t lead the target enough; I lead the target too much; I disengaged too quickly; I didn’t pursue fast enough; I forgot what firing mode my weapon was on; I left myself in position where their third-person camera could spot me around the corner; I forgot to keep tabs on the gas; I switched gun views at the wrong time; I forgot to stay moving; I moved too predictably; I got distracted by loot… the list goes on and on.
Sure, sometimes it is the proverbial bad beat with no real insight into any way I could’ve prevented it, but I’d estimate at least 90 percent of the time I can trace a death back to something I did wrong that may have been the difference in the outcome. Being able to diagnose those things makes it compelling to keep playing, because each match becomes the total of every match I’ve experienced before that.
Escalating blinds (loot) and being left behind
Tournament poker is structured around increasing blinds (mandatory bets) that encourage action and ultimately force a timely resolution. Keeping up with the blinds is crucially important. While you can sit passively by and avoid confrontation, eventually the blinds will be a large portion of your chip stack and you’ll be bled out or forced to wager it all.
PUBG obtains the same result through the use of the poison gas, which of course restricts the play area in narrowing circles.
To survive in a poker tournament, you must find a way to build your chip stack while the blinds escalate. In PUBG you also need to keep pace with not only the ever-shrinking time and space, but the rising tiers of equipment.
As players are removed from the game, survivors inherit their resources.
While it is possible to win with terrible equipment, you face a massive disadvantage if you enter the final showdown area without decent armor and a good weapon. A suppressor and a nice scope are crucial assets, as are health items. The poker counterpart to having crappy equipment at the end would be a tiny stack that you’ve managed to surf the blinds on. Sure, you might double up a bunch of times and beat the chip leader, but it’s not likely to happen no matter what your skill level is. Depending on luck is a last-resort strategy.
This need to acquire good gear discourages a purely passive and stationary strategy. Even if you want to avoid contact with other players (which is generally quite wise since the economy is currently meaningless and kills by themselves aren’t important for anything other than stats and bragging rights), you’ll want to roam around some to keep finding loot. But come midgame or late game, there is quite a carrot for killing others: it’s effectively a loot multiplier.
As players are removed from the game, survivors inherit their resources. When you kill a player 15 minutes into a match, you are effectively getting 15 minutes more of loot gathering. In the parlance of a poker tournament, you are doubling up.
This leads me to another dynamic I find shared between the two games.
Long periods of inaction (followed by intense aggression)
When Doyle Brunson turned the poker world on its head a few decades ago, it was mainly because of his relentless aggression. To summarize the great Super System book he wrote and also catch you up to modern poker: aggressiveness is the name of the game today. This should not be confused, though, with impatience or carelessness. To survive in tournament poker, you simply cannot play a majority of hands. Most of the time you will not be in a hand. You will be biding your time. But when you do engage, aggressiveness is often key. It’s called “picking your spots.”
I find PUBG to be the same. Patience is rewarded, but this shouldn’t be confused with passivity. Pacifist victories are certainly possible, but when you are forced to fight, you should do so aggressively and intensely. At least in the groups I play with, those who are the aggressors in the engagements seem to have a disproportionate survival rate. It’s counterintuitive, but storming the house seems to be more successful than defending it. While storming, you are dictating the flow, and can use any number of tactics to your advantage such as grenades, flanking maneuvers, and feints. Spending ammo and grenades, and making noise with vehicles all projects strength. When defending, you get bottled up and eventually have to fight in a way that the aggressors have dictated. (Note: a good ambush is excepted.)
“Races” and Supply Drops
Because winning is vastly superior to placing “respectably”, sometimes a gambit with high risk/reward is warranted. In poker, this could take the form of “races” and “multiway all-ins.” Races are all-in situations where you and the opponent have similar chances of winning. This is generally a no-no in tournament poker, where losing an all-in means you are done. Sometimes, though, it’s worth taking the gamble in order to double-up your chips. Even better, if there is a multi-way all-in pot (three players or more), it might be worth the gamble even when everyone has similar hands because if you do manage to win, you’ll be set up to go deep in the tournament.
PUBG’s analogous feature are the supply drops. (Oh, those blessed red crates!) Supply drops carry the very best equipment that is otherwise unavailable on the island. There is a cost, though: they're highly visible (and audible) beacons for other players to come in search of the same loot… or to come in search of those souls that are pursuing the loot. It is not uncommon to be sniped out of your helmet or otherwise murdered when you approach a supply crate. It’s also pretty satisfying to set up ambushes for other players similarly.
Bottom line is that the crates are superbly lucrative, with danger to match. You could ignore them entirely. But a 15x scope, AWM sniper rifle, and ghillie suit sure will help your winning chances. Lately I've been making all number of foolish mistakes because I have supply drop madness. I covet the crates so much.
Benefits to going against the flow
A predictable poker player is a losing poker player. The basic tenets of the game can be grasped relatively quickly, so successful poker evolves from a game of pure execution to one of misdirection and multi-step thinking and trap-laying. One must know when to go against traditional wisdom and thereby maintain an element of surprise.
I think raw execution is more important relatively in PUBG than in poker, but the benefits of thinking contrary to conventional wisdom can still be useful in spots. I think this biggest opportunity for this is in initial deployment. When I watched the first official PUBG Invitational tournament I saw a great example of this, thanks to the spectator view where we could see all players’ locations at once. A curious trend exhibited itself over all three matches: nobody jumped into the Crater of Doom! Normally, this is a very popular landing spot thanks to high-grade loot, a prominent and recognizable spot on the map, and unique topology. Most matches, people are happy to jump in there because the risk/reward ratio is so enticing. You might get curb-stomped immediately, but if you manage to be the victor of that initial battle, you'll be rolling with some pretty good gear.
A curious trend exhibited itself over all three matches: nobody jumped into the Crater of Doom!
During the Invitational, though, the individual match stakes were much higher. It was all being broadcast, and you couldn’t go just start another game right away if your gambit didn’t succeed. As a result, no groups jumped there! This happened in all three matches, if I recall. Perhaps it was an opportunity for one team to go against the groupthink which was in itself was going against its own groupthink.
Similar situations present late in a poker tournament when everyone is on the “bubble” (meaning the next few people to get eliminated won’t get any prizes but if you can just last a tiny bit longer, you are guaranteed to get money). Bubble situations result in extremely cautious play—even great hands sometimes get laid down because even if someone has a 20 percent chance to draw out on you, it’s just not the time to take the risk. Clever players can sense this and go against the grain by being overly aggressive and picking up pots with low quality hands.
I guess if this stuff were easy, we’d all be eating chicken dinner all the time! Good luck getting yours.
Tyler Sigman (@tylersigman) is the co-founder and game design director for Red Hook Studios, makers of Darkest Dungeon. He’s been designing video games, board games, and card games for almost 20 years. He currently enjoys PUBG during breaks from developing Darkest Dungeon’s upcoming Crimson Court DLC. So far he’s experienced a handful of chicken dinners in PUBG, mostly thanks to good teammates who have carried him. The solo chicken dinner remains an elusive goal.
The first-person online melee battler Mirage: Arcane Warfare came out of our review looking pretty good: "Interesting classes, engaging melee gameplay, and an exciting arena mode" is solid praise by any measure. There's only one problem: The game servers are woefully underpopulated. That's a situation developer Torn Banner Studios hopes to turn around with a free weekend, beginning at 10 am PT on June 8 and running until 1 pm PT on June 11.
Torn Banner also announced that the first major content update for Mirage will add a pair of new 3v3 Arena maps, new customization gear, and other content that will be revealed later. A solid release date hasn't been revealed but it's expected to be ready to go in July.
Free weekends are great for gamers, but this one is definitely not great for Mirage and Torn Banner. The game went live on Steam just two weeks ago, and the fact that it's already being dangled as a freebie does not bode well for its future. The Steam numbers tell the tale: There are, at this moment, only 25 people playing, and its all-time peak is just 190.
Mirage: Arcane Warfare is currently on sale on Steam for ten percent off, dropping it to $27/£21/€25 until June 21, so if you give it a shot over the weekend and like what you see—and hey, it's not like you can go wrong for the price—you can pick it up for a bit of a break.
