I do not have any real concept for how high-quality Fa’el – Beyond The Gate‘s platforming or perspective-shifting puzzles will be, but my resistance crumbles in the face of pretty pictures. This “2.75D” world has quite a distinct look to it, drawing on the chunky voxel building blocks of our day but putting a new (and literal) spin on them. That’s hardly the craziest part, though. Fa’el will also support progress transfer (via a password system) to another platform – namely, Nintendo’s positively ancient Game Boy Pocket. Because why not?

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Some interesting, possibly very positive news has leaked our way from Penny Arcade. We received some documents showing their plans to create something called the Roll For Diversity Hub & Lounge for forthcoming PAXes. A place where people can get information and support about all manner of topics, issues relating to “women, LGBTQ, people of color, disabled people, and mental health issues in gaming”. It’s obviously a move in response to the extremely strong criticism PAX events have received in the past, and an attempt to make it clear that they wish the event to be more tolerant and inclusive. Great stuff.

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I sure do love the fact that Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare is suffering an arbitrary delay on PC. Makes savoring each promotional morsel all the sweeter, yes indeed. Who needs dumb anchors like a release date and payoff when you can praise the heavens for every little crumb that tumbles your way instead? Wait, no, the other thing: ugggggggggggggggggggghhhhh.

Oh but Garden Warfare’s Battlefield-inspired Gardens and Graveyards mode looks kinda neat I guess.

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I suppose we should’ve seen this coming. Between the launch of multiple satellite studios and a big, fat hint that this exact thing> would happen from Chris Roberts himself, it was pretty much telegraphed via the medium of outer space hyper-com laser beam (“Communication so effective it kills>, serving the public since 2873″). Star Citizen‘s dogfighting module has been delayed by multiple months in the name of getting a full server backend up-and-running, as opposed to coasting along on CryEngine 3′s primitive default option, which presumably consists of a series of immaculately rendered turtles that you hurl through each others’ windows.

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… Who’s there? … The onset of creeping madness who? … AAAAIIIIGGGGGHHHHHH!

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The Vanishing Of Ethan Carter is what the main folk behind Bullestorm did next, and the combination of spooky forests and some bloke’s name makes it impossible not to claim it sounds like Alan Wake. However, it sounds like it’s branching off down the Dear Esther/Gone Home path rather than the shootybang one, which for my money often results in more atmosphere than a storm of bullets does. See also Silent Hill’s walking/worrying sections vs Silent Hill’s monster-clobbering sections. This is first-person, I should mention.

Very little is known about Ethan Carter really, but they are very proud of their graphics engine and its use of ‘photogrammetric’ technology. As far as I can tell that means turning 2D images of real-world scenes into 3D game scenes. Kind of like the faces in the first Max Payne, only with hills and stuff? Anyway, they’re using GIFs to demonstrate it. Look at our website daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance. (more…)

I haven’t written anything about Kentucky Route Zero yet, but Floor 3: Bears is my gaming moment of the year. I bloody love bears, me. I’ve got three t-shirts with bears on them, my desktop wallpaper is a bear, and I have bought my baby daughter two outfits which make her appear to be some extremely cute human/bear hybrid with poor motor skills. So you’re goddamned right that I clicked on the link for Adult Swim broswer game ‘Holy Crap, Bears!!‘ the second I saw it. I regret nothing. (more…)

Look at this man. Look into his dead eyes and feel your soul begin to curdle. He’s hideous. He has no pores. He’s a person suit. He’s a stocking full of yoghurt. After matches, Football Manager 2014‘s coaches let the air out of him, fold him up and put him back in the cupboard. He’s Emperor Septim’s son, here to tell you that Jauffre’s gone off on another one of his benders.

He cost me 5.5 million.

Come. Let me tell you about the off season. (more…)

Because I am the most cheerless of cheerless gits, The Typing of the Dead: Overkill’s combination of endlessly mofoing grindhouse satire and straight repetition of what was a great joke ten years ago (i.e. typing as shooting) left me very cold and a little sad. Fun tunnel. Those who found the dual-gag and puerility overkill to be a reliable source of belly laughs have, however, been treated to a steady stream of word pack DLC, so far including Shakespeare, Football Manager and now one that finally coaxes a smile from my pursed lips – the profanity pack, aka Filth of the Dead. Pickled pork sword.

Hairy crevice. Furious penis. Walking talking sphincter. Consider my erection. Such a huge manatee. (more…)

It’s finally time. The Walking Dead season one had its share of ups and downs, but its tale of broken hearts and busted skulls turned eyeballs into waterfalls and put Telltale on the map. Can season two live up to the incredibly high expectations surrounding it? Could lessons learned on the first season and new “shows” like The Wolf Among Us allow it to surpass all that’s come before? Or is this promising undead upstart already out of juice? Here’s wot I think of The Walking Dead Season Two Episode One: All That Remains. >Warning: big spoilers for season one ahead.

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