What is a man? A miserable little pile of self-destructing blocks, if Polyform’s Apparatus is to be believed. I did not, however, decide to post about Apparatus only for the chance to make an out-of-place Castlevania reference – even though that sounds like something I would totally do. It’s actually quite an interesting little project in its own right. The basic idea is that your character can deconstruct his/her/its cubular conglomerate of a body at any given moment, literally falling into a heap on the hardwood floor. Other powers take further advantage of this malleability – for instance, morphing into a brick or, um, exploding. Slip through the break’s conveniently shaped cracks for a video and some quick hands-on impressions.

(more…)

Oh boy. Remember how things haven’t been going so hot for THQ lately? If you’ve somehow forgotten, do you remember your name or any key facts about yourself? Have you hit your head or recently traveled forward to this time period? Are you an amnesiac, infant, or ghost? AT ANY RATE, we’ve finally reached the expected conclusion of this rather depressing series of events, but – as ever – there’s a twist. In spite of how the word “bankrupt” – which is derived from the root “bank account ruptured and screamed in agony as warm monetary lifeblood erupted from its depleted tubules” – often connotates, THQ isn’t doomed yet. Instead, it’s merely employed some tricksy business maneuvers to dodge an avalanche of debt. For now, though, your favorite game series are safe.

(more…)

June 2003: a remote jungle clearing outside Moshi, Tanzania. I am seventeen. It is sometime after midnight. >

My skin is sticky with pesticide and sweat. In the treacle dark, my friend Rachael’s face presses hot against my shoulder. The hiss of the jungle soars into the sky in a cacophonous, unbearable symphony.

I need to pee. (more…)

“Are you aware of shameless BTDT-rip off Randal’s Monday?” asked Size Five Games’ Dan Marshall. “Promising trailer, looks gorgeous. Deserves some RPS love.” He’s not wrong. While my brain still requires an adjustment period whenever a point and click adventure features text instead of voices, as soon as it’s flipped the switch it’s hard to find a happier place for John’s brain, and this trailer takes me there.

(more…)

For the fourth game of Boardgamemas, my true love gave to me FOUR COUPING BIRDS.

So that’s us up to Four Couping Birds, Three Roman Gladiators, Two Traity Dopes and an X-Wing in a Pear Tree. This is getting very UNWIELDY and CONFUSING.

So what exactly are these Couping Birds? Well, it’s a little pocket rocket of a game called COUP. It’s a smash hit with everyone I’ve played with.

(more…)

Crikey – Kotaku have just reported that The War Z has just been removed from Steam. There was word earlier today that Valve were looking into forum moderation issues regarding the game, but people were hopeful they’d dig somewhat deeper into the real issues that had been raised, regarding the apparent false advertising of features on its store page. Those have been changed since, but for whatever reason the game is now not available to purchase. It is listed instead as “Uninitialized”. If you already own it, however, your Steam copy will still run.

We’ve just received a statement from Valve about the game, explaining that it’s been removed because they consider it was issued prematurely, and they’re offering refunds to unhappy customers. You can read the statement below.

(more…)

It’s been a while since we last reviewed a Woodcutter Simulator game. Mr Stone found it disappointing, and couldn’t see the wood for the trees, saying things like “Woodcutter Simulator can do weirdness, but not the good organic kind.” Perhaps this can be changed in 2013, then, as the latest iteration of this lumberjacked offering arrives to boast “a raft of new features including challenging missions, a day and night cycle, realistic weather effects as well as new forest areas.” No word on weirdness, organic or otherwise. For some reason publishers see fit to leave that out of their game information. Hm.

Trailer below. (more…)

You might look at the RPS team and see a ragtag bunch of goofy, kindhearted fellows who want nothing more than to write about PC games and be intimidatingly handsome, but trust me: you’re making a grievous mistake. The games writing thing? Just a side business to support our worldwide network or incalculable evil. If it can be called a form of villainy, odds are, we’ve got our hands in it. Huh, why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, because you’re currently chained to a table with a laser about to bifurcate your skull, silly. But, in the event that you somehow survive, perhaps you’ll find that a life of irresponsible evil is right for you too. Fortunately, Ludum Dare 25 was all about various forms of villainy, so these games can help you become good quite good at being bad. You’ll find a number of standouts and the maniacal sage wisdom they impart after the break.>

(more…)

With only two days left until the end of the world, you really would be wise to finally get around to playing those games you’ve been putting off. Thankfully GOG.com have recognised this need, and are having an End Of The World sale. For the next 24 hours. But by their clock, they appear to think it’s Tokyo’s 21st December the Mayan’s meant. But surely it should be for Central America, affording us an extra 9 hours on Earth before we’re all consumed in Horace’s infinite belly? This stuff is important! Also, you can get a bunch of the collected editions on GOG at 75% off.

Topware send word that there are Mac and PC demos for their game of the silly movie Iron Sky, Iron Sky: Invasion. They say: ““Iron Sky: Invasion” is a space fighter simulator, calling to mind such classics as the legendary… You-Know-Which series – further enhanced with strategy and RPG elements.” I honestly don’t know which, but a new space combat game is always welcome at the Monitor-Lit Underdark Of Rossignol Lair. Sadly though, I’ve yet to play the demo, because I am not currently in my creepy data-nexus man-cave, but instead on a crap laptop in John’s cheery dining room. But: “The players can access a tactical map of outer space to spot the positions of Nazi forces or any ongoing battles, and thus instantly know where to fly. The ultimate goal is to destroy the secret Nazi base hidden on the Dark Side of the Moon and to keep the Earth safe from the invading spacecraft.” Which sounds okay. It’s made my Reality Pump, too, who made not-terrible things in the past, if I recall correctly.