Have you checked out that Vita game? You know—the one that's a shoddy spinoff of a big-name series?

Perhaps Call of Duty: Declassified, which currently has a whopping 32% on Metacritic? Or Uncharted: Golden Abyss, a game that our Kirk Hamilton called "a cut-rate version of the Uncharted games that most people have already played"? How about Resistance: Burning Skies, which Kotaku boss Stephen Totilo called "a mediocre new first-person shooter that has no excuses for underachieving"?

If you've seen a commercial for the Vita, you've probably heard Sony's big tagline. "Get console-quality gaming with the PlayStation Vita." Not a bad selling point, and maybe the Vita does offer console-quality gaming. But it sure as hell doesn't offer console-quality games.

Sony's high-powered portable has been around for almost a year now, and the best gun in its arsenal is Persona 4 Golden, a 2012 remake of a 2008 PlayStation 2 game—an excellent PlayStation 2 game, but a PlayStation 2 game nonetheless. The Vita's other top games, while good, are hardly the system-sellers that Sony desperately needs. They're not nearly as varied or deep as the experiences you can get on your Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3. And the Vita's marquee fall game, PlayStation All-Stars, is also available on PS3.

When I ask friends and colleagues what they've played on Vita recently, the answer is typically either A. "Oh, I don't have a Vita." or B. "Oh, you know: PSP games, old PlayStation classics that I missed."

Nine months in, and the Vita is a PSP, PS1, and PS2 machine. Does that really justify the $250 price point?

Sony's portable system has become something of a running punchline in the gaming industry, mostly because Sony has done such a great job of screwing it up. Which is a shame. I really like this machine. It might not be the most ergonomic device in the world—try to hold up the Vita for an extended period of time and your thumbs will start to hate you—but it's sleek, pretty, and powerful. The UI is great, the online features are handled well, and I love being able to play PS1 and PSP games on the go. As a fan of niche Japanese games and RPGs, I had high hopes that the Vita would take after the PSP's success as a platform for experimental, quirky video games.

But it hasn't. Nobody is buying Sony's new system, not even in Japan, where Nintendo's 3DS recently outsold it 47 to 1. Because of that, developers seem to be shying away. The Vita is floundering, and it's all Sony's fault.

The biggest problem is that the Vita has become something of a landfill for bad games, the place to dump off rushed, poorly-made takes on AAA franchises like Uncharted and Call of Duty. This year, Sony has unwittingly cultivated the reputation that a portable system is for shoddy spinoffs—a reputation that it will have to spend the next few years trying to wash off. Even the portable versions of Assassin's Creed and LittleBigPlanet—considered by critics to be solid games—aren't different or special or great enough to make the Vita worth owning for a great deal of gamers. None are better than their console equivalents. None make the Vita feel better than second-class.

But that's not the only problem. Sony has also become a victim of its own greed.

Last week, Amazon ran a Vita deal that some thought would be hard to pass up: you could get the portable system, Assassin's Creed: Liberation, and a free trial for Sony's fantastic PlayStation Plus service all for $180. Also, a 4 GB memory card.

Yep, that's four gigabytes. Or 4,000 megabytes. Persona 4 Golden, in case you were wondering, is 3,137 megabytes. If you intend to seriously download games or other media to your Vita—and you should, because this is a platform built for digital content—you'll need much more space than that.

The biggest memory card available for the PlayStation Vita right now is 32 GB. It will cost you $100.

That's right. One hundred dollars.

When I went to GameStop to buy my Vita a few weeks ago and heard how much the largest memory card would cost me, all I could do was laugh. A hundred bucks for 32 gigabytes? I think I just spent something like $80 on a terabyte hard drive, and now Sony wants me to pay $100 for a card that can hold maybe 7,000 songs?

The Vita's memory cards, by the way, are proprietary, which means you're stuck with what Sony gives you. You can't swap in a standard SD card, even if it would be significantly cheaper.

That's the gargantuan hidden cost behind the Vita, the purchase that turns that $180 deal into a $280 investment. It's also one of the major reasons that Sony's hot console has received such a chilly reception. It's obscene price gouging, and it will be particularly punishing for early adopters in a year or two, when bigger memory cards are available for even cheaper.

Perhaps this wouldn't be as irritating if we could just pretend the Vita doesn't exist. But it does, and it's full of potential: there are a ton of interesting-looking smaller games on the horizon, games like Dragon Fantasy and Tearaway and Soul Sacrifice.

Yet other than those few games, the future is bleak for Sony's console. There are few games that could have the type of widespread appeal that will make people feel like they have to have it. The Vita's 2013 lineup is terrifyingly barren, and even if it gets more interesting, I can't help but worry that the Vita's tepid reception has kept game developers away. Why make games for a system that not even 3 million people own when you could develop for the ubiquitous iPhone, or PC, or even the 3DS?

I don't make it a habit of caring about how much money Sony makes, and unless you are a Sony employee or shareholder, you probably don't either. But as a gamer, as a fan of the Vita and someone who hopes to keep using it to play interesting, creative games like Dokuro and Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward, I really wish Sony hadn't screwed the Vita up.

Goko, the multiplatform headquarters for mature board and card games, has launched in open beta, giving strategy-minded players a chance to play all the Dominion Online, Forbidden City and All the King's Men their devious little hearts' desire.

There are more than 150 games lined up for Goko, using HTML 5 as a universal gaming platform so anyone with a web browser can play anywhere they please. The first three games are live right now, and they're all rather lovely. There's Dominion Online, a multiplayer-enabled version of Donald X. Vaccarino's card game; Forbidden City from acclaimed German board game designer Reiner Knizia; and All the King's Men, a lovely melding of strategy board game with push-match puzzles from Gopherwood Studios I've been playing that last one quite a bit.

And you can too. Just head over to Goko.com and sign up. Just be prepared for productivity to plummet.

The new Nintendo Direct Mini isn't about the Wii Mini. It's about new/old New Super Mario Bros. 2 levels that are temporarily free on the Nintendo 3DS. Not too confusing, right?

Skip to 3:50 to see the levels. They may ring some bells.

Nintendo Direct Mini — November 27, 2012 [YouTube. Thanks, Philip!]]

UPDATE: So... the 3DS eShop appears to be offline for maintenance now. Bad timing. It'll be back at 8pm ET or so.

It's time for another chapter in FarmVille's Mistletoe Lane saga, and we're ready for Chapter 4 in the tale of Nick and the elves from Winter Wonderland. This goal series sees Zang taking a trip from Winter Wonderland to help Nick restore the town's Toy Factory, and we're here with a guide to finishing them off.

Sprouting Holidays
• Get 6 Frosted Acorns
• Harvest 35 Cider Apples
• Make Benne Cake 2 Times

First and foremost, this Frosted Acorn task and all others that ask you to collect a specific ingredient can be completed by posting a general request to your news feed for help. As for the Cider Apples, this is a 16 hour crop that you'll want to plant as soon as possible to save time. Finally, the Benne Cake is a recipe that can be created in your Patisserie using three Honey Ginger, two Wax Bean and one Lavender Bushel each. You'll receive 150 XP, an Autumn Plumed Turkey and 3,000 coins for completing this first goal. As a helpful tip, you'll want to place that Turkey into an animal storage building and harvest it as often as you can, as soon as you can. You'll need those mastery points later.

Of Antlers and Arborists
• Get 8 Antler Seeds
• Harvest 150 Wax Beans
• Make Holiday Pudding 2 Times

Like the Cider Apples before, the Wax Beans also take 16 hours to grow, so your best bet is to plant both the Apples and the Beans at the same time so that the Wax Beans are ready as soon as you begin working on this goal. You'll also need to work fast to complete the two Holiday Puddings, which are created in the Patisserie using one Winter Squash, two Cider Apple and two Coffee Bushels each. After you finish this second goal, you'll receive 200 XP, a Reindeer Tree, and 3,500 coins.

Northern Nibblers
• Get 8 Winterbit Grasses
• Harvest 70 Winter Squash
• Make Apple Cider 2 Times

The Winter Squash takes a whopping two days to grow. So, if you think you can finish these first two goals before they have a chance to ripen and wither, it's definitely worth planting 70 squares of them on your Mistletoe Lane farm just to save time in the long run. Either way, you'll need to finish this goal by crafting the Apple Ciders using two Cider Apple, one Holiday Poinsettia and two Rye Bushels each. For finishing this goal, you'll receive 250 XP, a White Wombat and 4,000 coins.

Parading Spaces
• Get 8 Pinecone Powders
• Harvest 100 Flint Corn
• Make Holiday Pudding 3 Times

The Flint Corn takes a full day to grow, so make sure to plant some of it the second you have some free space on your farm. By the time you finish growing the Winter Squash in the last goal, you should be pretty close to finishing the entire Northern Nibblers goal, so feel free to plant the Flint Corn then to plan ahead. After you've completed these three tasks, you'll receive 300 XP, a Pine Cone Cottage and 4,500 coins.

Woodsy Welcome
• Get 9 Woodberies
• Harvest 125 Winter Grain
• Master Autumn Plumed Turkey to 1-Star

As we said before, this Autumn Plumed Turkey should be placed in an animal storage building (like an Aviary) the second you win it, so that you can earn mastery points in the background while making your way towards this actual goal. Hopefully, you'll have this task completed by the time you ever make it this far, but if not, you shouldn't have too far to go before finishing it off. Winter Grain, meanwhile, take a full day to grow. You'll receive 350 XP, a Bark Tree and 5,000 coins when you complete this goal.

Something Amoose
• Get 10 Reindeer Mosses
• Harvest 150 Chocomint
• Make Holiday Cookies 2 Times

The Chocomint takes 16 hours to grow, continuing in this farm's tradition of long growth crops. While you're waiting for them to grow, you can work on the Holiday Cookies, which are crafted in the Patisserie. The Patisserie will need to be at least Level 2 in order to access the Holiday Cookies recipe, but once you unlock the recipe, you can craft it using one Winter Grain, two Cider Apple and two Sugar Cane Bushels. When you complete this final goal, you'll receive 400 XP, a White Caribou and 5,500 coins.

You'll only have a full week to complete these goals before they expire, so make sure to plan ahead as much as you can in terms of collecting bushels, planting crops and harvesting that free turkey prize. If you manage to complete these goals with plenty of time to spare, you can also repeat them for additional prizes, but no one's forcing you to rush that much. Good luck completing these goals at least once!

Play FarmVille on Facebook Now >

More FarmVille Coverage from Games.com

• Mistletoe Lane Shipping Licenses Guide
• Angler's Pond Sneak Peek
• Everything Glass Item Guide

Republished with permission from:
Brandy Shaul is an editor at Games.com

Here's an odd one.

One of my favorite games on Nintendo's new console is an interactive fireplace.

It's an emotional, interactive fireplace. And it's the first console game I've played through without ever turning on the TV.

Little Inferno is a download-only game for Wii U and PC/Mac/Linux. It was mostly made by two friends named Kyle and a guy named Allan Blomquist. Separately they led the creations of the acclaimed World of Goo and Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure. The former game was a building set, the latter a hybrid sidescroller and block-puzzle game on the other. That these guys made an interactive fireplace is both surprising and not surprising at all.

If you look for info on Little Inferno, you find a mix of confusion and acclaim. The confused people wonder if Little Inferno is even a game. The impressed people write about how, as they finished the game, they got choked up.

It is a game. It's mostly a puzzle game. You've got a fireplace that you can see on your GamePad screen (or, presumably, on your TV). You've got a catalog of items such as bricks, corn and fireflies in a jar. With the stroke of the GamePad's stylus, you can flick these things into the fireplace. Everything burns. The bricks get crispy. The corn pops. Later, when you burn a railroad crossing sign, a train horn blares, the fireplace shakes and, for a moment, it seems that an unseen locomotive is speeding by.

The game has 99 challenges. These are its puzzles, each of them a phrase that refers to two or three items that must be burned at the same time. "Bike Pirate" is a cinch. Burn the wooden bike. Burn the pirate. "Movie Night" is a little tougher. Burn the popcorn. Burn the TV.

WHY: You don't already own an interactive virtual fireplace, at least not one with a lovely soundtrack and an emotional story (WHAT?).

---

Little Inferno

Developer: Tomorrow Corporation
Platforms: Wii U (reviewed), PC, Mac, Linux
Release Date (US): November 18

Type of game: Pyromaniac's delight masquerading as a puzzle game about burning things. Sort of an adventure game.

What I played: Solved 77 of the game's 99 puzzles in 285 minutes. Did it all on the GamePad (that's the Wii U controller with the screen in it); kept the TV off.

My Two Favorite Things

• Burning celestial bodies in a fireplace.
• The sad, sweet story.

My Two Least-Favorite Things

• Tough to say...hmmm...the lack of a turret sequence? I'm coming up empty.
• Feeling the need to address the "does it cost too much?" concern.

Made-to-Order Back-of-Box Quotes

• "Yes, it's worth it."
  -Stephen Totilo, Kotaku.com
• "I think this game just criticized how I spend my time, but I still like it."
  -Stephen Totilo, Kotaku.com
• "Best use of fire in a game since NBA Jam Far Cry 2."
  -Stephen Totilo, Kotaku.com

Everything in the game burns in a visually-interesting and surprising way. The fire effects look great. This alone will emotionally engage any number of pyromaniacs who buy a Wii U or download the game on their computer. The rest of us might be more enchanted by the mysterious letters that begin showing up in the game's inventory. They are intermittently cheerful and sad, a wee bit wicked and increasingly desperate.

You might feel a mix of emotions as you play.

On the one hand you're playing through a game that lets you burn the moon in a fireplace.

On the other, you're drawn to these messages from this character who seems to exist beyond the interactive world you thought you were in. Something seems off. There's a hidden truth to the game that starts to matter more and more. Your memory may flicker. You may begin to think of another confidently-made game of puzzles, secrets and unexpected emotions: Portal. You don't want me to tell you any more.

There is a debate on the Wii U's social network, about whether this game is worth $15. It's a valid question that can only be answered by those who know what $15 is worth to the person asking. I didn't 100 percent the game, yet I played it for nearly five hours. I didn't get to shoot anyone in it. The game has only one zombie (you can burn him). But it does include a lot of jokes. It has a great soundtrack and a bunch of surprises. It is an interactive fireplace with a wonderful story. Should it cost $10? Maybe. I'd pay full price for it again.

The test I want a good game to pass is simple: I want it to stick with me. I want it to seep into my thoughts days after I played it. Little Inferno is simple. It's somehow both quaint and bold. It lingers. It burns brightly. It burns well.

For years the peaceful-yet-pecking Hoggyens battled the relentless Gobblen hordes that rained down from the sky. Then one day the embattled hedgehog creatures discovered their demonic nemeses' fatal flaw: they are delicious. This is why giant slingshots get built, people.

Little Guy Games' Super Snack Time is a bubble-popping game on a sugar high. Your adorable little Hoggy, a card-carrying member of the Order of the Snack, launches into the sky again and again, mercilessly slaughtering the invading Gobblen forces no matter their shape, special power or delicious fruit flavor.

There's a little Bust-a-Move here certainly, but the Gobblens aren't simply bubbles. Some pop on contact. Others require more than one hit. Some are small and fast. Some fade in and out like ghosts. Some explode in fire. Some in ice. Some are impervious to your attacks, arrayed in front of their more delicate brethren as shields. It's up to Hoggy and his arsenal of inventive power-ups to break on through. No Gobblen gets out alive. Well, two Gobblens get out alive, any more than that and you'll fail the level.

Super Snack Time is exactly the right balance of color, character and challenge. My only complaint is the inclusion of an energy system. Having my play limited artificially via a timed meter is something I am used to from free games, but not those I have to pay for.

An odd choice, but I suppose that's the sort of thing one can expect from a developer that makes a game about a race of hedgehog people that kills its enemies and feeds their "juice" to its young. Mmmm.

Super Snack Time — $.99 [iTunes]

There's a bit of Pinocchio in Mega Man's story, what with the kindly father figure creating a "son" out of artificial materials. And, yeah, there's some melancholy in there, too. Melancholy that digital artist Madec Brice captures in his beautiful portrait of the Blue Bomber.

Over on DeviantArt, Brice also mines the loneliness that must be part of Samus Aran's galaxy-spanning bounty-hunting. Heck, he even makes He-Man archnemesis Skeletor seem a little bummed-out and in need of sympathy. Brice's work lends a veneer of shadowy gravity to his subjects. Great stuff.

Madec Brice on DeviantArt

No, that's not hype. Released last year on PC under the title The Next Big Thing, Hollywood Monsters is a hilarious adventure game from the creators of Runaway, and its coming to your iDevices December 6.

Mobile is quickly becoming a second home to the point-and-click adventure game, what with tablets and smart phones being so good for pointing and all. Pendulo Studios and publisher BulkyPix continue to lead the charge for adventure publishers not named Telltale, bring over the former's stable of highly-polished, cinematic-quality joints to a more touching place.

Hollywood Monsters takes place in a 1940s Tinseltown where the big-name movie monsters are played by actual monsters. When those monsters get fed up with being forced to act in children's movies and romantic comedies, things get ugly. It's up to Liz Allaire, a talented journalistic idiot and Dan Murray, the manliest of men, to make a mess of things until they eventually stumble upon some sort of solution.

I have played this game, yet I will play it once more for the sake of a much more appropriate name and the ability to play it in the bathroom without burning my thighs with a laptop.

Hollywood Monsters hits the iTunes app store on December 6.

Yesterday morning's Today Show featured the Wii U, the hot new Nintendo console that's like a tablet merged with a game console.

Should be great for live TV, right? Not quite, as you can see above.

At least no one has thrown a Wii U GamePad through a TV screen yet. Remember that stuff?

Let's take it back to 2006. Wii fails were a bit funnier.

(One more, from 2009... ah, the memories.)

The magic of mobile gaming affords us countless opportunities to explore magical worlds filled with happiness and joy and comfort. Or we could just take a hammer to our teeth.

I must admit that when I first saw Dental Surgery at the top of this week's free iPhone app charts, I downloaded it immediately. Within moments my teeth were aching sympathetically. Then I stopped playing and erased the game from my phone. I'm guessing that's what everyone else did too, but the initial download counts.

Here's hoping that one slips from the charts next week, like a skipping dental drill etching a long uneven groove across the front of your molar.

You're welcome.

Top Paid iPhone Games - 11/27/2012

1. Angry Birds Star Wars
Last Week's Position: 1 (0)

Yep, this one's still here.

Angry Birds Star Wars on iTunes

2. Bad Piggies
Last Week's Position: 3 (+1)

Bad Piggies reclaims its position from those nasty scary balloons.

Bad Piggies on iTunes

3. Wreck-It Ralph
Last Week's Position: 4 (-1)

I credit this jump in popularity to Ralph's appearance in Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing.

Wreck-It Ralph on iTunes

4. Bloons TD 5
Last Week's Position: 2 (-2)

Back foul beasts!

Bloons TD 5 on iTunes

5. Minecraft - Pocket Edition
Last Week's Position: 5 (0)

Oh hey, Minecraft. Didn't see you there.

Minecraft - Pocket Edition on iTunes

6. The Amazing Spider-Man
Last Week's Position: N/A

What's amazing is how much of an impact Gameloft's $.99 sale had on this game's chart position.

The Amazing Spider-Man on iTunes

7. Flow Free Bridges
Last Week's Position: 6 (-1)

If you're going to fall, at least fall to Spider-Man. That's what my mother used to say. There was something wrong with her.

Flow Free Bridges on iTunes

8. Offroad Legends
Last Week's Position: N/A

Y'all remember that time Jimmy and thems took his F-150 into the woods out back of the old schoolhouse and tore his axle in half? Good times.

Offroad Legends on iTunes

9. Tetris
Last Week's Position: 7 (-2)

This would be at the top of the list if the gods would just give them a long piece.

Tetris on iTunes

10. Fruit Ninja
Last Week's Position: 9 (-1)

Dammit. *starts stomping on Fruit Ninja's fingers as it grips the edge of the chart cliff*
Fruit Ninja on iTunes

Putting together that list was like pulling teeth. You'll see what I did there in a moment.

Top Free iPhone Games - 11/27/2012

1. Dental Surgery
Last Week's Position: N/A

Shouldn't this be listed under self-help or do-it-yourself?

Dental Surgery on iTunes

2. Hill Climb Racing
Last Week's Position: 1 (-1)

Took a whole lot of surviving, just to get up that hill.

Hill Climb Racing on iTunes

3. Offroad Legends Sahara
Last Week's Position: N/A

Technically the demo-ish version of the full Offroad Legends, as seen in the paid charts.

Offroad Legends Sahara on iTunes

4. Doors&Rooms
Last Week's Position: N/A

One of those escape-style games. They should make one of these for the band Journey.

Doors&Rooms on iTunes

5. Ruby Blast Free
Last Week's Position: N/A

Some sort of app dedicated to freeing yourself from addiction to U.S. football.

Ruby Blast Free on iTunes

6. Flow Free
Last Week's Position: 6 (0)

Flow Free is number six. It's always number six. Get a new number, jerk.

Flow Free on iTunes

7. Are You Quick Enough 2
Last Week's Position: 3 (-4)

Not quite quick enough, nope.

Are You Quick Enough 2 on iTunes

8. Candy Crush Saga
Last Week's Position: 7 (-1)

Strange, where did Ruby Blast go? Oh that's right, it was horrible.

Candy Crush Saga on iTunes

9. Gangnam Style Massacre
Last Week's Position: 4 (-5)

That's it, kids. Just step away and let it pass.

Gangnam Style Massacre on iTunes

10. Pitfall!
Last Week's Position: N/A

Amazing what a little freedom does to a guy, isn't it?

Pitfall! on iTunes