There are websites for everything. Therefore, there are websites for gamers who need dates, and there are websites for people who want to date gamers. These sites might be one and the same. It's not really clear in the surprisingly inept world of video game dating sites, a web of false promises, Google search bait and general crappiness.
I spent Tuesday afternoon signing up for a bunch of the web's leading websites dedicated to gamer dating. Better me than you. There's some bad stuff out there.
Shag A Gamer is the site that inspired this miserable trawl. It got some press earlier this week thanks to its snicker-ready premise. An entire web operation dedicated to helping gamers enjoy some casual sex? That's as cynical as it is charitable. Thanks, ShagAGamer!
For video game daters who want something more lasting than casual sex, the people behind the aforementioned bait-and-switch also offer DateAGamer. This one appears to be UK only. Oh, the pity.
Central Mystery of their Site: They seem to believe that all gamers are straight.
I registered for the site and started searching for ladies to date (well, to pretend to date. I am married, after all). Presumably I'd find one who likes video games, right?
First lady's interests: Pop Music, Rock Music, Movies, Dancing, The Outdoors, Restaurants, Pubs/Clubs, Reading, TV/Radio, Computers, Internet, Cooking, Travelling, Keep Fit and Sports (Watching).
Second: Pop Music, Movies, Theatre, Dancing, Restaurants, Pubs/Clubs, Reading, TV/Radio, Computers, Internet and Keep Fit.
Third: Pop Music, Classical Music, Rock Music, Movies, Dancing, Animals, The Outdoors, DIY/Crafts, Restaurants, Pubs/Clubs, Reading, TV/Radio, Computers, Internet, Cooking and Keep Fit
OK, well maybe these women on Date a Gamer don't really want to throw their passion for gaming in your face. Maybe they want to show you that they're well-rounded. And maybe this site is a total joke and not really about gamers after all.
I randomly clicked on a lady's profile to read more about her. She wrote: "I'm the kind of girl that can be taken anywhere, apart from a Dungeons & Dragons or Star Trek convention, thank you." Yeah, whatever. Next!
This site is part of a bigger network of online personal ads. Like the other sites mentioned so far, it's just a slick photo on top of a site that barely has anything to do with gamers going on dates. It does automatically lock your profile to a preference for video games, but, let's just say that doesn't seem to work.
I started searching for women in my area who shared my interest in video games. The first person I clicked on... didn't mention gaming. Second person? She likes "Computer Geeks and Techies; Gamblers & Card Gamers" Third? She likes watching sports and movies. No mention of games. Fourth? "I enjoy museums, movies and games… In short you must love family, pets, travel and Anime." There we go. I'm so glad I was on a site dedicated to finding video game-loving singles.

Note that most of the keywords in the official hype are hyperlinked. That's because Gaming Passions appears to be more or less run by robots.
Gaming Passions does let you declare you're into video games, but its listings don't exactly turn up people proclaiming that they too can tell a PlayStation II from a PlayStation III. Yeah, yeah, I get that it's possibly just uncool to brag about your gaming passions in your real (or fake) online dating profile at a site called Gaming Passions. It's just assumed, I guess. Why else would we have stumbled into this nest?
Hey, at least this site has a Games section!
They also have a books section, too! The books are voted on by users of Gaming Passions and ranked in the order that these totally real people voted said they should be in. Here we go, proof that this is for real gamers. These are the Gaming Passions user's favorite books:
1) Halo First Strike
2) The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
3) The Gunslinger (Dark Tower, Book 1)
4) Ender's Game
5) Dune
6) Cycle of Hatred (World of Warcraft, Book 4)
7) Halo: The Fall of Reach
8) The Umbrella Conspiracy (Resident Evil, Book 1)
9) Resident Evil 07. Stunde Null (this appears to not be in English)
10) Warcraft: War of the Ancients Archive
Let's scroll down to the 16th entry:
16) Call of Duty: World at War Strategy Guide
OK, then.

More on ARMORED24, DateCrafter of the Month for June!
Explanation behind username?
Well, I'm an armored truck driver, and when i made my user name I was 24.
What other online dating sites have you tried?
Nope, this is the only one game/WoW-related [dating site] that I know of, so here I am.
How many girls/guys have you tried hooking up with in DC?
Too many! Eh, never started counting but couldn't tell you off the top of my head. I had another account but i forgot the information it's been around a year. i have met one person in real life so far. We dated a little bit. She wasn't the one, but we still play wow together.
That's so specific (and long) that it might indicate that we have a gamer dating site that actually involves gamers dating! Excited? Don't be. As with all the other sites here, they don't really care about your gaming. You can sign up, create a profile and tell the world about your favorite... TV shows. And books. And movies. They don't have a category for Favorite Video Game. Ha ha. Why would they? Right?
I went searching for that special someone. The first woman whose profile I clicked on didn't mention gaming. The second one described "my great time" as including such activities as "playing dress-up", "going to a concert" and *gasp* "playing video games". The third person I clicked on didn't mention gaming at all.
So promising!
I signed up. I logged in. And then?
The site failed to load. Probably because, since they're the #1 site for video game dating, their servers were overloaded.
The moral of the story is that if you want to date a gamer and you want to find one through an online dating service, don't waste your time with any site that pops up when you Google for "video game dating". Don't fall for this stuff. You can find enough people on OKCupid who blab about how much they love video games. And that may be more than enough.
At least OKCupid didn't claim they were going to hook you up just because you were a gamer.
Today Sony proudly announces that it will be the first video game console to feature a subscription-based live comedy service with the September 1 release of The Laugh Factory Live, which should be incredibly popular until the free trial period ends.
The Laugh Factory is a popular comedy club franchise based out of Hollywood, California, and they have so much comedy it's flowing out of their doors and onto the internet. Tired of people simply filming their excess comedy with cell phones and placing it on the world wide web for free, The Laugh Factory teamed up with Sony to monetize all of those digital laughs.
The Laugh Factory performances from the past, present and future (technically the present, but not right now) with be watchable via the PlayStation 3 exclusive application, featuring names like Dave Chappelle and Dane Cook. Possibly their faces and voices as well.
PlayStation 3 owners will be able to download the application and watch for free until December, when absolutely no one opts to pay three dollars a month for something they can easily find on the internet at no charge.
The Laugh Factory App Coming to PS3 September 1st [PlayStation Blog]
Even though heavy rains have been hitting China's Chengdu, that didn't stop thousands from lining up for work at the city's Foxconn plant.
As website MIC points out, Foxconn seems to be hiring up for this summer. Those who apply need to fork over 150 yuan (US$24) and have good eyesight.
Just goes to show that even though Foxconn—which makes products for Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony, and Apple—has taken a beating for its work practices, there are thousands of people eager to work at its plants and make your stuff.
The rumor is that these workers are being hired to assemble the rumored iPad mini or the next iPhone.
Thousands Queue for Foxconn Summer Jobs Ahead of Possible ‘iPad mini' Production [MIC]
Did you play Mass Effect as Jane Shepard? Or John Shepard? Whichever Commander Shepard helmed the Normandy, there's no doubt the character has made her (or his) mark on gaming.
And when you do that, loads of fans end up cosplaying as you. But who pulled off the best Shepard?
Here on Who Wore it Best?, we look at variety of folks doing their damnedest to bring game characters to life.
Since there are two Shepards—FemShep and DudeShep—the version you played in Mass Effect could possibly inform your favorite. Maybe not! Have a look for yourself.
Click the lower corner to expand the image to full-size.
[Anime-Ray]
[artware-AV]
[BloodSpiderX]
[bodysnatched]
[CpCody]
[FluffyLtd]
[FraGatsu]
[Kotowaru]
[LeeleetheBunny]
[Lifeburn]
[love-squad]
[MarikaSan]
[NaughtyZoot]
[Nebulaluben]
[ormeli]
[RagemoreRoberts]
[ShepardCommanderN7]
[sonikku10]
[SoulFire-Studio]
[Verlerious]
[Xemnass]
[xinstrumental]
The triumphant return of Caketaku! As sister site Kotaku Japan pointed out, there is a pastry shop in Gunma Prefecture called Torte that excels in creating anime, manga, and video game themed cakes.
And it's not only your favorite character or superhero that Torte can draw on your cake, but your own face, too! That's right, Torte does anime-style portraits, too. Make that, anime-style cake portraits.
Strawberry cream cakes with custom character drawings start at ¥3,800 (US$48) and max out at ¥5,800 ($73) for 21-inch cakes. Vanilla and chocolate chiffon custom cakes cost between ¥4,000 ($51) and ¥4,700 ($60).
But who could eat such artistry? Who?
勿体無くて食えねぇって! 群馬県にあるケーキ屋さんのキャラケーキがスッゲェ...。 [Kotaku Japan]
This is definitely a thing. More PS2 games—Yakuza 1 and 2—are getting HD versions for the PS3. The single set will be out later this year in Japan with HD graphics and tweaks like shorter load times. [ゲーム情報!ゲームのはなし]
Sam Raimi was going to make a movie based on World of Warcraft. Now, he's not.
At this year's Comic-Con, Raimi told CraveOnline that he isn't attached to the WoW film anymore, because he decided to make Oz: The Great and Powerful instead.
According to Raimi, "Actually, they don't have me directing World of Warcraft anymore because when I took the Oz job, they had to move on to another director. They had to start making it."
Raimi did not reveal who that "other director" was. How about Moon director Duncan Jones? Back in 2010, he was excited about Raimi making the movie. Maybe he would be more excited about making it himself?
The chances, however, of this flick ever being finished are not so good. Hollywood rarely makes its game adaptations into actual movies.
Sam Raimi Won't Direct the World of Warcraft Movie [CraveOnline via VG247]
Not only that, the mecha have taken over a robot restaurant with the clever name "Robot Restaurant". Wait, you say, Tokyo doesn't already have a robot restaurant? As of tonight, it most certainly does. Tonight, Robot Restaurant opens in Shinjuku.
There will be food. There will be drinks. There will be ladies in funny outfits and robots in funny outfits. Enter if you dare!
While the neon-bathed Robot Restaurant bills itself as, well, a restaurant, the Shinjuku establishment looks to be more of a cabaret with nightly shows that include ladies in skimpy outfits piloting large female robots. The fliers call this "a sexy army attack". Noted.
There's a whole team of color-coded ladies to man the fleet of female bots—the whole kit and caboodle cost something like ¥10 billion (US$125,000) to make! The show features ladies in bikinis and hot pants, motorcycles, giant female mecha, and...a marching band?
(Robot Restaurant has a drum team on staff that performs both Japanese drums and Western-style drums.)
Yes, the whole thing is ridiculous, and that's pretty much the point! As Otaku USA editor Patrick Macias points out, the competition for Shinjuku nightlife is stiff. There is a seemingly endless array of adult entertainment aimed at Japanese salarymen. Instead of just another peel joint or sexy pub, something over the top like this can help a new spot standout. That's why this week a trailer carrying the mecha on a flatbed has been making its way through Tokyo as a publicity stunt.
The ¥3,000 (US$38) entrance charge includes the show fee, table charge, and a not-so-delicious-looking bento meal. Doors open at 6pm, and there are between 2 and 3 performances a night, which is probably all Tokyo nightlife, or humanity, can handle.
【総工費100億円!?】新宿歌舞伎町に出来た新観光名所「ロボットレストラン」がいろいろやばいwww [Naver]
Dragon Quest X - 9 Minutes intense MMO Gameplay ドラゴンクエストX [YouTube]
Yesterday in China's Hefei City, a man began disrupting on-coming traffic. Initially, he stripped to his skivvies and stood in front of vehicles. That escalated to him climbing on to cars, smashing windshields.
According to news reports, the man's rampage lasted less than an hour and left 20 damaged vehicles in its wake. Once the authorities arrived on the scene, they injected the man with a tranquilizer and rushed him to the hospital. Reports also state that he hasn't been identified yet; it's not known whether he suffers from a mental disorder.
This is the second inexplicable road attack in China of late. Late last month, another man began blocking traffic. He climbed on a car's hood, before attacking the female driver and gnawing on her face.
Pictures: Naked man attacks vehicles in street [Daily Cpop]