It's Friday and the power pellets are right around the coner. Welcome to Kotaku's official forum, known affectionately as Talk Amongst Yourselves. This is the place where we gather on a daily basis to discuss all things video game and existential. Want to talk about new games, old games, games that aren't even out yet? Knock yourselves out!
Angry Impoverished Dude becomes gaming's first big icon in this TAYpic from TAYpic maestro The_Real_Pan1da7. Those ghosts created from Smug Well-Off Gentleman look way creepier than the garden-variety Inky, Blinky et al.
You can do funny things with pictures, right? Want everyone on this fine web forum to see? Here's what you do. Post your masterpieces in the #TAYpics thread. Don't forget to keep your image in a 16x9 ratio if you want a slice of Talk Amongst Yourselves glory. Grab the base image here. Don't forget to keep your image in a 16x9 ratio if you want a slice of TAY glory. The best ones will be featured in future installments of Talk Amongst Yourselves.
Examining why I play the games I do sometimes yields surprising insight. It's become clear to me that many of the games I like...are kind of dating simulators, despite what the presentation or marketing might suggest. I don't think I'm supposed to admit that, though. To say something like that feels like losing legitimacy as a 'real gamer,' as if that idea even means anything. Worse: to say that seems so stereotypical, because I'm a woman. The genre seems harmless enough as an idea: they're just romance-driven games. Romance is a part of most people's lives, what's the big deal?
I've yet to meet anyone who says they play the Mass Effect franchise for the combat. Despite this, Bioware has focused on refining the combat enough that by Mass Effect 3, the franchise has a multiplayer mode that relies entirely on the action—and it's considered addictive. Even so, the acclaim for the third person role playing shooter still rests largely on the interpersonal relationships you foster with your crew mates. The combat being okay is just a bonus.
The only reason the fate of the galaxy matters is because of the people you've met along the way. Without the people, none of the politics, choices or consequences in Mass Effect mean a thing. Mass Effect 2 outright concedes this—the game revolves around the acquisition of your ‘dirty dozen' team. The real danger isn't with the Collectors, or with the destruction of the galaxy, but rather with the possibility of losing those teammates in the suicide mission. This is also why the memorial wall in Mass Effect 3, which lists fallen comrades, carries weight with players. Mass Effect isn't about the choices, it's about people and your relationships with them.
So when fellow Kotaku writer Evan Narcisse states that you need the combat in Gameological's video series The Digest, I couldn't help but muse over the viability of a combat-less Mass Effect.
Something that would focus only on what makes the series so good: the characters and your relationships with them.
Sounds like—gasp!—a dating sim to me.
Actually, a lot of games could totally work as dating sims. The idea that games need combat in order to remain interesting doesn't sit well with me. I don't think it's true. Plus, we have an overabundance of violence in games, but not nearly enough love.
Here are a few examples of games that with some refocusing could function as dating sims, from titles with strong writing and characterization, to a few silly ones because why the heck not? Hey, if there is a dating sim about pigeons, I'm convinced there can be a dating sim about anything.
The possibilities for juicy drama here are endless. We can probably assume Bioware will use some of their usual tropes when it comes to pursueable characters: the difficult, cold but sexy one (Miranda, Morrigan), the meek, kind but bright one (Tali, Merrill), and so on.
Aside from that, to stereotype, each race has specific issues that can yield interesting results when explored in the context of intimacy. Quarians have to deal with being out of the suit, Asari tend to be overly sexualized, the way the Volus communicate is obtuse, for instance.
The special app released with Mass Effect 3, which sent players messages from the characters, could be put to good use here, too. Imagine composing text messages to your prospects, like you can in Catherine. If Bioware must include some sort of ‘morality bar,' it should work like Dragon Age 2's friendship/rivalry bar—meaning, there's multiple ways to get to know someone, depending on your approach.
If there are toothbrushes with tiny mass effect fields, I wonder if there's lingerie with mass effect fields, too? There better be, because that's what I want to gift my lover on the night before the suicide mission.
Domesticity and small-town life isn't complete without romance, and so I think Animal Crossing can become more of a dating sim. This is a franchise that could take on the dating sim genre in a whimsical way.
The absurdity of having the various critters available to the player can't be denied. Still, the possibility for endearing relationships are there, especially when you consider the bizarre but amazing dialogue found in the franchise.
Imagine explaining to your beau that you're late to your date because damn Rosetti wouldn't let you go. Or sending a saucy letter to the giraffe next door with the world's most cacophonous gyroid attached. Perhaps sharing the stresses of having Mr. Nook breathing down your neck for payment of your house with a significant other. Or throwing a bottle out at sea, with an earnest hope that that special someone will receive it and reciprocate your blindly-thrown longing.
I'd play that.
Honestly, I already play this role-playing franchise as if it was a dating simulator. Persona brings out the worst in me, romantically. Since there's no penalty for pursuing every potential love interest, I kind of just...become a womanizer. I'm going to blame the ‘gamer neurosis' of needing to experience everything in one go and not some latent Casanova nature in me, though. Yeah. Let's go with that.
Speaking seriously, like Mass Effect, much of what makes Persona so superb is in the characters.
The game as a whole is an exploration of intimacy, particularly so in Persona 4, which had players help characters through the most personal of insecurities and fears. Learning to play Persona effectively is to learn how to maximize your time outside of the dungeon, to spend as much time as possible with the people. Traversing through the dungeons feels like the unimportant after-school activity that it is when your calendar is a mess of dates with lovers and friends.
The school setting is perfect for the genre. There would be 22 characters, one for each of the major Arcanas, each equipped with a captivating personal narrative for players to discover. The part about shadows and deities can still stay, since the franchise wouldn't make sense without that element. Really though, in trying to describe how this would work it just becomes obvious that the game is already built like a dating simulator.
All I ask is that in a more ‘romance-centered' Persona game, there be more options to destroy your friends when they get in the way of your dates.
I'm cheating, here. This game already exists—someone is working on it. Hailing from Tumblr, a place that is no stranger to the type of fan service that this game caters to, is the Fallout New Vegas dating sim.
So far it looks as if the pursuable characters include Butch DeLoria (the only Fallout 3 character), FISTO, Cass, Oliver Swanick, Veronica, Joshua Graham and Vulpes Inculta. Not the characters I'd think of first (I wanna date Moira, from Fallout 3!), but it's a rich and diverse cast.
Alexis—the 19 year old developer behind the title—is taking a lot of fun liberties with the characters she's borrowing from the franchise. This is evident from the hilarious character animations:
(Oh my god FISTO, what are those STAINS?)

To the writing:
(Click to enlarge for animation)
Also included: a tsundere character, Ouran references, Hellboy references, and a karma system. And yes—Butch DeLoria delivers his infamous ‘Tunnel Snakes Rule!' line.
The game's Tumblr states that the game will come out relatively soon. As proof of concept, it works wonderfully to prove that games you might not expect as dating sims could still work under that genre—with the right approach.
The list goes on. Metal Gear Solid could be a hell of a soap opera dating sim, complete with overwrought dialogue and labyrinth-like plotlines. Well, if confusing as heck plotline is what we're looking for, then perhaps Kingdom Hearts could be a better choice. God knows what's going in in THAT franchise, but it's dramatic enough that it would fit just fine. Saints Row could have players recreate a Romeo and Juliet-type romance, with rival gangs fighting to keep you and your lover apart. Really, there's a ton of games that could work as dating sims.
Granted, getting people to brave the stigma of playing the genre that is widely taken as the epitome of uncomfortable nerd wish fulfillment might be difficult. At the same time, many popular franchises—like Mass Effect and Persona—are good because of the near-dating sim elements they posses. I think we collectively like to pretend otherwise, though—thinking of some games as 'dating simulators' seems kind of shameful. It shouldn't.
We definitely don't need combat to make a game worthwhile; sometimes that's the least interesting aspect of a game.
And sometimes, it would just be funny to make a game that's not meant to be romantic, be romantic.
Thanks to advances in Nintendo downloadable content distribution, 3DS like Mario Kart 7 can now be patched to eliminate exploits. Awww man, I love exploits.
But apparently Nintendon't, so the "Wuhu Loop," "Maka Wuhu," and "Bowser Castle 1" maps have now been patched, and those patches are required for online play. Welcome to the future.
Of course the Nintendo Download isn't just about patching broken games. It's also about tossing old Game Boy titles like Kirby's Block Ball into the 3DS eShop, or giving 3DS owners a free taste of Rayman Origins. Or delivering the finest in vampire hidden object adventures to the DSi, all the while completely ignoring the Wii, at least this week.
It's all so exciting I had to skip a day to catch my breath.
Kirby's Block Ball
Platform: 3DS
Price: $2.99
Kirby takes center stage in this frenzied, block-clearing free-for-all. Use the paddles on all four sides of the screen to bounce Kirby around and destroy the blocks and enemies. By destroying the blocks, you clear stages and obtain special power-ups that will aid you in your quest. Establish the high score on each stage to open up the final level and face Kirby's nemesis, King Dedede. With multiple abilities, screens, and stages, this game is sure to put your skills to the test.
Chronicles of Vampires: The Awakening
Platform: DSi / 3DS
Price: 500 DSi Points / $4.99
Previously in Chronicles of Vampires Linda Hyde discovered a supernatural conspiracy threatening the world. Because of her unique gift, only she alone can prevent the awakening of primal evil. She must halt the sequence of events that together will unleash demonic destruction upon all mankind!
Guide Linda as she moves between the worlds of people and vampires as you explore chilling locations, uncover hidden objects, and solve mind bending puzzles. Defeat the conspiracy of wicked creatures and rescue humanity by uncovering the shocking truth in the final episode of Chronicles of Vampires!
Rayman Origins
Platform: 3DS
Rayman Origins is a comic adventure set in a lush world with over 60 levels teeming with unexpected secrets and outlandish enemies. Michel Ancel, celebrated creator of Rayman, Beyond Good & Evil and the Raving Rabbids returns to his roots to bring us Rayman Origins: a side-scrolling, platforming adventure! Play Rayman Origins and discover or rediscover the magical universe and legendary gameplay that captured the hearts of millions of fans... When the Glade of Dreams is overrun by "nefurrious" Darktoons, the Fairy Council hastily invokes Rayman to save the day. It is up to him and his pal Globox to restore peace to the Glade or watch as their beloved home vanishes like a bad dream...
Men in Black III Trailer
Secrets reveal themselves as Agent J travels back in time to MIB's early years in the 1960s to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind.
In the Online Multiplayer mode, the tracks "Wuhu Loop," "Maka Wuhu," and "Bowser Castle 1" will have shortcut exploits permanently eliminated from their maps.
You idolize Nathan Drake. You half-tuck your henleys in the style of the handsome adventurer and quietly mutter to yourself when solving life's puzzles. The only thing missing from your daily tribute to the PS3 hero is a rugged manly timepiece like the one Drake wears.
Well, fret no longer. Over on Etsy, accessories designer David Vigil offers up two watch designs that pay homage to the gear worn by Nathan Drake in Uncharted 2 and 3. They're not a bad look, even if you're not a hardcore gamer.
Vigilante Leather [Etsy, via OTL Gaming]
In fact, said special edition doesn't actually exist, but if it did the ESRB rating would be through the roof.
Blood, gore, adult situations and nudity, all before the game even makes it into your console. Completely fictional, of course. If the world could create robots that lifelike we'd be extinct within three generations. Think about it.
Lollipop Chainsaw drops on June 12 in North America.
What if one day you went to sleep and when you woke up your teenaged neighbor was The President and you the vice president? Then what if all fell to you to defend the country from terrorists, a mad Korean dictator, crazed fanboys, and Josef Mengele—while returning everything to normal rested on the shoulders of a mad genius who'd rather play Dragon Quest than save the world? Well, then you'd be ready to boot up your PC and play My Girlfriend is the President.
My Girlfriend is the President is a game very much aware of itself as a visual novel/ero-game title—and is all the better for it. The main character is played off as the most perverted of the perverted; a hilarious over-the-top caricature who has made sexual harassment into an art form. The female leads are not only aware of this, but are also accommodating. Should they appear in a provocative costume or pose, they'll invite him to look and get his fill—because why even pretend that's not the exact reason your average otaku would pick up this game?
Aside from its own player base, the game mocks everything from real world people to moé fanboys and anime otaku. Of the four love interests, one is the Japanese schoolgirl turned
president aptly named "Ohama" (Barack Obama), one is the busty, young Russian president "Puchin" (Vladimir Putin), one is your childhood crush… and the last one is a starship with the body of a moé android.
The game is so packed to the brim with geek culture in-jokes that the first thing you see is the bridge of the alien spacecraft—which of course looks exactly like the bridge of the original starship Enterprise. The music cues are also amazing. Sometimes when you encounter the moé android, the Terminator theme plays in the background. When you come across aliens, it's the X-Files theme.
But ultimately, the characters and the general pop-culture satire are nothing compared to the utterly hilarious insanity of the plot.
At one point in the game, I traded the national security advisor my favorite ero-game collector's edition for a secret map that would allow me to bypass all the troops guarding the presidents of Japan and Russia while they were relaxing in a hot springs. After announcing that this was "a sneaking mission," I followed the map only to be found by the army guard commander. After identifying myself as the vice president, the commander became more angry, threatening to kill me and make it look like an accident. (He and his soldiers were jealous I was around our cute schoolgirl president all the time.) Of course, once I reminded him that I could easily get his unit assigned to guard her all the time, I was able to convince him and his men to follow me to the hot springs and get our peep show on.
But along the way, my troops were picked off one by one as we came across a hoard of deadly traps not included on my map. The army commander was the last to fall (and he died in my arms of course), so alone I reached the hot springs peeping area. But my victory was quickly interrupted. The Russian president's bodyguard, a young woman in a maid costume (because at this point, why not?) announced her traps had killed all my men and I was next. But the
grenade she tossed blew me over the wall into the hotsprings filled with naked girls instead of killing me.
Then I kissed the moé-bodied spaceship, went Super Saiyan, killed a tentacle monster, and defeated a kung-fu-fighting, talking, giant panda by punching it in the family jewels.
All this took place over the course of about 15 minutes.
The first half of this game is a comedic visual novel that contains no sex, a single and quite brief topless bathing scene, and some hilariously awkward sexual teases. The third act ditches all the over-the-top craziness for sex, sex, and more sex. Like rabbits here, people: It. Does. Not. Stop.
While non-stop sex may be exactly what the characters would do at this point in their "relationship," it still makes for a total mood whiplash. I honestly began clicking through sex scenes as quickly as possible, hunting for any of the comedy I had experienced in the first half. But sadly none was to be found until the game's final act.
And while there are both some awesome and genuinely funny moments near the end, the game seems to spend most of its time and effort trying to add emotional weight to the story. Like the sex scenes, the emotional weight isn't intrinsically bad, but it does take away from what I found to be the most enjoyable part of the game: the funny.
When it comes to translating, there are two ways to do it. One is to go for the most literal translation with the contents and grammar being as identical as possible—though this will often sound a bit odd and stilted. The other way of doing it is to make a very natural-sounding English sentence with only the most basic meaning being the same. Most translators try for a happy medium of these two styles. In My Girlfriend is the President, especially in the early hours, the translation occasionally whips back and forth between the two extremes—sometimes even in the same scene. Honestly, though, I don't know how much this will matter to most players (if at all), but in my case, each time it happened I was briefly pulled out of the story.
An uneven translation is one thing—especially when the game is so funny that you overlook its awkwardness. Typos are quite another. I only caught four or five typos in the entire game, but that's four or five more than I usually catch while playing games. Nothing is quicker to pull you out of a game than a distracting typo, and I am genuinely surprised there are any in the final product.
Going in, I was expecting a game epitomizing how bad the visual novel/ero-game genre can be. What I got instead was a game satirizing how bad the genre can be. I don't often laugh when gaming, but the amount of times I literally laughed out loud are too numerous to count. If you enjoy crazy, over-the-top comedy, this game was made for you.
My Girlfriend is the President is available for purchase at J-List.com
Fugu (blowfish) is a delicacy in Japan. If it's not prepared correctly, the result is death. Since fewer people have died from fugu poisoning in recent years, the Tokyo government decided that, hey, it should lower the strict licensing required to prepare the fish. You follow that logic?
Between 2000 and 2009, there were 338 fugu related food poisonings nationwide. Out of that, there were 23 deaths. In Tokyo, there were seven deaths.
The BBC recently visited an experience fugu chef who has been preparing fugu for sixty years. To get his license, he had to train for two years and then take a notoriously difficult test.
To prepare fugu, all the fish's guts must be removed. According to The Japan Times, fugu liver, ovaries, and other internal organs have enough neurotoxins to be lethal. Ingesting it causes paralysis and then death.
It's not just the thrill. People enjoy the taste and shell out between ¥5,000 (US$62) and ¥30,000 ($375) for fugu meals.
The strict license is now somewhat outdated because many Tokyo restaurants buy fugu from other prefectures with more relaxed regulations. Starting this fall in Tokyo, it will be possible to serve fugu after going to a one-day class. This will mean that more inexpensive fugu will be served in Tokyo.
Other areas of Japan will continue to have their own fugu licenses.
While your chances of fugu food poisoning are extremely low, you might want to be dead certain that your chef is fugu experienced.
Check out the BBC video in the link below to see a fugu chef gut the poisonous parts of the fish. Note how the chef separates parts of the fish into two pans: one is marked "edible" and the other is marked "inedible".
Preparing fugu, Japan's poisonous fish dish [BBC]
Japanese video-sharing site NicoNico Douga is well known for having its own unique net culture and memes. One of the most interesting of these is the "tegaki" style of video. "Tegaki," literally meaning "hand-drawn," refers to a type of video where a popular clip —usually an anime or video game opening—is altered to portray a different game or anime altogether. This is done by tracing the original source frame by frame, making the desired alterations, and then reanimating it.
To see some of the best game tegaki around, check out the gallery above.
Game: Final Fantasy VI
Original: Full Metal Alchemist Opening 2 and Ending 1 (Anime)
Songs: READY STEADY GO by L'Arc~en~Ciel and Inerasable Sin by Nana Kitade
Game: Metal Gear Solid
Original: Lupin III Opening (Anime)
Song: THEME FROM LUPIN III by Yuji Ohno
Game: Persona 4
Original: K-ON! Ending (Anime)
Song: Don't Say Lazy by Sakurakou K-On Bu
Game: Final Fantasy VII
Original: Tales of the Abyss Opening (Game)
Song: Karma by BUMP OF CHICKEN
Game: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Original: Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei Opening (Anime)
Song: As a Human, I'm Quite Warped by Ootsuki Kenji feat. Nonaka Ai & Inoue Marina & Kobayashi Yuu & Sawashiro Miyuki & Shintani Ryouko
Game: El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron
Original: Rozen Maiden: Träumend Opening (Anime)
Song: Sacred Girl's Territory by ALI PROJECT
Upcoming 3DS collaboration Project X Zone sure is getting crowded. Here's a look at the latest screens of the pair-based combat game.
From what I've seen so far, I quite like the game's look. Hope I like how it plays.
『PROJECT X ZONE(プロジェクト クロスゾーン)』新たな登場キャラと戦闘システムを紹介 [Famitsu]

The craziest product of 2011 meet the craziest workstation of 2012. Computer engineer Shigeki Morimoto's desk at social networking company Mixi is a mismatch of pullies, pipes, and rope all designed to support his Sony HMZ-T1 headset. Or something.
When Morimoto started using the Sony HMZ-T1 headset at work, he quickly discovered that the headset wasn't exactly compatible with his glasses. Morimoto created a work around, which involved him embedded his glasses in the headset.
That wasn't all. Using the headset for long periods of time, Morimoto discovered that the headset pad left a big red mark on his forehead. He tried working while reclined, but that didn't seem to work.
So Morimoto created a system that could support the headset so his head didn't have to bear all the weight. The end result is a bit like the HMZ-T1 itself: brilliant and goofy as hell.
ヘッドマウントディスプレイの衝撃 [Mixi Engineers_Blog via KiraiNet]