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Here we have a TAYpic by The_Real_Pan1da7. Now I can understand why the Assassin's Order would be gunning for Smug, Well-Off Guy. He's rich, powerful and wears jaunty headgear. All of that means that he's probably a n evil Templar in need of immediate life removal services. But Angry Impoverished Dude? Why does he get a knife in the throat? Well, all that screaming must get annoying, I guess. "Requiescat in pace," guys.

You can do funny things with pictures, right? Want everyone on this fine web forum to see? Here's what you do. Post your masterpieces in the #TAYpics thread. Don't forget to keep your image in a 16x9 ratio if you want a slice of Talk Amongst Yourselves glory. Grab the base image here. Don't forget to keep your image in a 16x9 ratio if you want a slice of TAY glory. The best ones will be featured in future installments of Talk Amongst Yourselves.

Will I buy Diablo III? Yes. Will I play Diablo III? Yes.

Will I play Diablo III more than once? Maybe.

Will it matter how I build my character? No.

From what I've read--and correct me if I'm wrong—if two players have max-level barbarians side-by-side in Diablo III, items and names aside, there will be zero difference between our characters. We will have access to the same base stat build and access to the same selection of skills and runes.

Welcome to the 'stupidification' of Diablo, where build skill no longer matters. If I didn't care about character build and only wanted to find items, I'd rather put 80 hours into Final Fantasy.

Differentiation between characters was what made my Diablo II characters unique, not the items I had. Why can't I make a unique stat-heavy ranged barbarian or a melee wizard? Well, that seems impossible in DIII.

‘Leveling' the playing field reduces replayability and the customization we've come to expect and love in Diablo II. I want my characters to be tweaked how I want and not some cookie-cutter build.

There's some evidence that character builds, player-defined stats, and fixed skill trees lead to great games, especially within the Blizzard family. This was the case in Diablo and Diablo II obviously. But what about the introduction of heroes in Warcraft III (both Reign of Chaos and the Frozen Throne), where proper hero skill placement and attribute calculations could mean the difference of a ladder spot, or more importantly victory or defeat? And what about the long-lasting playability of Defense of the Ancients (DotA), a wildly popular mod to Warcraft III, which has evolved into its own genre. In each of these games, efficient skill placement and calculating attributes was not only critical, but it made playing and replaying the game fun. I'm pretty sure if you nerfed or removed the skill tree and attributes in these games or allowed unlimited skill ‘respecing,' replayability would suffer.

If I'm Blizzard, I want "replayability" built into my game. I want players coming back for more. I want them building and rebuilding characters over and over. I want the difference between newbs and players to be more than items and reaction time. Right now, I'm only going to play this game five times until I max out each character class and then... well really, what's the point?

I remember spending hours calculating optimal builds and skill placement in D2. I remember doing math on the fly about MF% ‘magic find' or CtB% ‘chance to block' or HP to MP ratios for the perfect PvP mana-shield sorceress. Teach the next generation of Diablo players how to do math instead of doing it for them.

So Blizzard, give us back the power to allocate stats, let me build unique characters built for rushing, magic finding, and low level PVP. Or at least make it an option for the non-lazy stupid players—you could call it "Hardcore Mode."

UPDATE (following reader feedback): This was simply my opinion based on how much I enjoyed the stat and skill tree in Diablo II, which was also a core feature of Diablo. Some of you agreed and some disagreed — we're all likely going to play Diablo III regardless. And that's a good thing.

Of the links I've seen in the comments, this discussion in the Battle.net forum was the most thorough and well-reasoned. And while I don't agree completely with his or her breakdown, only time will tell whether it enriches or takes away from the game.

None of us in the beta got to see how the game will play out much past early character development. I do agree with the Dontinquire's conclusion that "[s]tat point allocation has not disappeared, it has transferred... [to] something that you may buy on the auction house. Crafting systems exist to transfer player customization into a marketable form... The real bitterness may come from the fact that many hardcore players just do not want the choice to exist in its current iteration."

Perhaps, fundamentally, I just believe stat and attribute customization should be made on the base character level rather than primarily materializing as enhancers from items, gems, etc... At the base level neither player has to customize anything. We both can go into the auction and buy the same items and allocate our skills the same way at any point. You don't get penalized for making any decisions along the way as long as you put in the hours. At any point, if you're like, 'OOOH he has a cool equipped character with these skills,' I can just go buy the same items and switch my skills and it makes no difference what decisions I made along the way which is fine—but its a sharp departure from DII."

Obviously, as many have pointed out, moving towards item-focused gameplay is better for Blizzard's bottom line from the transaction fees we'll all incur in the auction house. To all the commenters, I hope to see you all in 'hell' in a few days.

When I first installed and started The Secret World earlier this week, I encountered a tiny graphical glitch: everybody was naked.

Not completely naked, mind you. I mean, they all had underwear on, and some of the shirts still showed up. There were just an awful lot of topless women and pantsless men running about.

I'm not certain what went wrong. Textures in general completely freaked out, some missing completely, others corrupted and twisted. Except the nipple textures. Those seemed fine. Nice of Funcom to remember them. Hopefully this means big things for the company's rabid role-playing fans.

And before anyone accuses me of exploiting female polygons, here:

Now that's a sexy look.

I did manage to snag a brief video clip in the midst of my bewildered shock. I didn't, however, get a chance to censor it, so be careful.

Update: Just to assuage fears no, the green square is just a glitch and not part of the game.

The first beta weekend event for The Secret World kicks off today, giving countless players their first tantalizing taste of Funcom's modern day massively multiplayer paranormal role-playing game, but there are tales of a hidden server — a server where members of the gaming press have had days to explore the dark corners of the world.

These tales are true. I am living proof.

And though it may break the code of the brotherhood I've been pledged to — the secrets I share now could tip the delicate balance of world power — I am first and foremost a reporter. Perhaps the so-called Illuminati will learn an important lesson here as well: never invite a member of the press to join a secret society.

It's as if mysterious forces aligned against me were keeping me from getting my hands on The Secret World. I've spent ages waiting for my chance to get my hands on Funcom's mysterious MMO, only to have countless obstacles thrown in my path. Well, two tiny, crawling, crying obstacles to be exact. I'm not saying the shadow government impregnated my wife on the sly as part of a grand conspiracy to keep me from learning the truth, but I wouldn't put it past them.

So while the intrepid Kate Cox got to try her hand, my hand has remain untried, until now.

The press beta for The Secret World, a completely different entity from the public beta launching this weekend, kicked off on Tuesday, and while I've only managed to spend three or four hours playing, I've managed to learn quite a lot, not just about the game, but about myself as well.

For instance...

I'm a Character Creation Snob

Character creation isn't just a precursor to the main event for me; it's a game-defining moment. Character creation is my opportunity to inject myself into a massively multiplayer game, adding my own unique flavor to a world defined by other people.

I've been known to spend hours honing my look before entering a game, adjusting every slider, tweaking every style, and getting the colors just right before taking my first steps in a fresh game.

In its current form, The Secret World's character creation doesn't afford me much of an opportunity to indulge. There are no sliders, no real intricacy. It's all a series of pre-generated features. Select a face, choose a hairstyle, tweak the nose, mouth, eyes and jaw, and you're off to the races. There are no size sliders and everyone shares the same basic body shape.

Quite frankly, this is not good enough for me. Hopefully it is still being fleshed out, so-to-speak, but as of right now my character looks generic, and if I look generic, I can't help but feel it too.

The Illuminati Aren't So Bad

Since my earliest impressions of The Secret World back in 2009, I've known exactly which of the game's three secret societies I wanted to play. The Templar were too militaristic, the Illuminati too full of themselves. No, I was a Dragon, the mysterious clan of chaotic manipulators, pulling strings from their mysterious base hidden somewhere among the streets of Seoul, Korea.

I have Dragon stickers, Dragon pins; every time I log into the game's website I am reminded that, in no uncertain terms, I belong to the Dragon.

And they aren't playable in the press beta yet. Dammit.

So instead I went with the Illuminati, the New York based party animals, reveling in the tremendous power their knowledge of the world's secrets brings. My character came to life in the middle of New York City, where a brief encounter in a Laundromat led him into the sewers, a stinking rabbit hole from which there was no return.

When I discovered the Illuminati's underground lair, my character was sedated and indoctrinated, his combat abilities tested by placing him in the driver's seat of another member during a particularly harrowing encounter with shadow creatures in the city's subway tunnels. Once I awoke I was given my choice of weapons (Chaos Focus, a nod to my true allegiance) and got a chance to meet my handler and learn a little more about what I was getting myself into.

After that I was sent directly to the Lovecraftian New England town of Kingsmouth, utilizing the secret pathways underneath the surface of the planet to travel several hundred miles nearly instantaneously. In this fog-covered, zombie-infested hellhole it didn't really matter which society I belong to. All that mattered was survival.

I Prefer My Combat a Bit More Meaty

First off, I apologize for the random content of this content clip. My video capture software zigged when it should have captured video, so it doesn't quite capture the point I am trying to get across with this particular lesson learned.

And that lesson is that I may have outgrown floaty MMO-combat where it never really feels like I'm truly connecting with the creature I'm killing. In Kingsmouth I encountered hordes of zombies, charging me four at a time and flailing almost comically at my character as I pressed buttons to activate my skills, causing me to flail colorfully back. While I could tell by the health bars that I was doing damage to my undead foes, my strikes and special attacks lacked a certain weight.

Perhaps I'm just spoiled. Stupid Tera.

However...

If You Nail the Atmosphere I Can Forgive Floaty Combat

Running through the woods of Kingsmouth, moonlight filtering through the trees and fog as guttural growls sing my doom from somewhere just out of sight; this is exactly the experience I was hoping for.

I can forgive a great deal in a massively multiplayer game if it actually manages to frighten me, something The Secret World seems to have no problem with at all. It's a combination of lighting, setting, sound design and musical cues. It's also a matter of game design. Many of today's more casual-friendly MMO games like to group like-leveled creatures into a certain area, giving the player a defined space where they can handle anything thrown at them.

That's not something you can rely on in The Secret World. Take a wrong turn, and it could become an extremely wrong turn. It's doing a number on my nerves. That's a good thing.

Funcom Makes One Sexy, Complicated Interface

Seriously, just look at that. It's completely dense and not particularly friendly for the MMO novice, but for someone that's been playing these things for more than a decade, this is something fresh and new.

You're probably confused. I was too. Most other MMO games lean towards a more intuitive interface. An interface you can look at and know exactly what's what. Not The Secret World.

This interface is a slick and seductive beast, filled with stats and secrets I can't wait to become more familiar with. After a few more weeks I'm sure it'll become second nature, but for now it's a pleasantly alien thing that surprises and delights me every time I see it.

The Secret World is an Incredibly Visual Game

Most MMO games rely on floating text boxes to relay important information to the player. Funcom does this instead.

Police reports, telephone books, cellphone pictures; all this and more rendered as actual graphics instead of simple text description. This is a glorious thing. Seriously. Visual cues like this have been a staple of adventure gaming for decades. It's about time the made it into an MMO.

Funcom's Writing Team is Having Too Much Fun

Oh, the joyous freedom of writing for a game that takes place in the modern day and utilizes conversation patterns from real people instead of fantasy archetypes.

Though leaning a bit heavily on American stereotypes (I'm looking at you, small-town sheriff), The Secret World's dialogue thus far has been a profanity-peppered delight. I don't want to spoil anything for those eager to get into the game themselves, so I'll just say keep your speakers turned up or keep the subtitles rolling, you're in for a treat.

There is Never a Wrong Time to Reference Tango and Cash

---

Within the span of a few hours The Secret World has managed to frustrate, confuse, terrify and delight me. Its simple character creation put me off, but its real world foundation and excellent atmosphere drew me right back in. Combat left me cold, but the unfolding mystery of a horror-infested New England town kept me fighting.

I'll spend the next few weeks delving deeper, so be on the lookout for more clandestine information.

Just don't tell the Illuminati.

One of the best-loved games ever will be hitting the PlayStation Network, as Deus Ex gets released as a download in Europe next week.

Eurogamer cites confirmation from Square Enix that the Ion Storm-developed title will be out on the 16th for £7.99. It's not clear if this Deus Ex will be the original PC version or the PS2 port released as Deus Ex: The Conspiracy. Kotaku has reached out to Square Enix to see if a North American release is planned.

PEGI says Deus Ex coming to PS3 soon [Eurogamer]

Last summer, the sacchrine ditty "Bubble Pop" tore up the Korean internet. The video went viral and it stuck in everybody's brains—more so in some people's.

Korean superstar Kim Hyun-a of pop group 4Minute (and formerly of Wonder Girls) released "Bubble Pop" on her first mini album. The video was supposed to be a radical departure for Hyun-a, who stylized her name as "HyunA" for the album.

The video, which reveals in sexuality, sure made an impression on Chinese girl group Beach Girls, because they sure seem to have copied the crap out of it for their "No No No" video.

Watch the videos in the above gallery to compare. I recommend starting with HyunA's original version. Kwinky-dinks abound, but using a helicopter instead of a Hummer makes the Beach Girls vid original, right? No, no, no.

Chinese Copycat Version of HyunA's "Bubble Pop?" [Soompi]

RC cars? Been there, done that. Planes? Old hat! But cockroaches? *leans forward*

These are "Gokiraji", which is a wordplay on "gokiburi" (cockroaches) and "rajikon" (remote-controlled). Charge them via USB, and then they can be controlled via an infrared remote and make your skin crawl.

Watch in the video as they scurry about, with LED-lit butts. And when they flip over on their backs they're legs flail about, all roach like. Yours for ¥1,680 (US$21).

"黒いヤツ"を操れるUSBラジコン「ゴキラジ」発売――JTT [IT Media via なんだかおもしろい]

In Japan, one company has embraced the DLC business model more than any other: Bandai-Namco. To anyone who has ever thought a piece of DLC was a bit pricey would be screaming in rage if the Japanese prices for Bandai-Namco DLC were to become the norm. Click through the gallery to see some of the most egregious offenders. (Prices in yen have been converted to dollars.)

Tales of Xillia (PS3)

Retail Price: $105.36
Type of DLC: Costumes, items, gold
Most Expensive Piece of DLC: $6.29 (Star Driver costume)
Total Price for All DLC: $214.39
Most Egregious Offense: Selling in-game gold and levels

Gundam UC (PS3)

Retail Price: $100.34
Type of DLC: Mobile suits, characters, stages
Most Expensive Piece of DLC: $6.29 (various mobile suits)
Total Price for All DLC: $79.22
Most Egregious Offense: $6.29 for a new Gundam is getting a bit steep...

One Piece Pirate Musou (PS3)

Retail Price: $102.98
Type of DLC: Costumes, stages
Most Expensive Piece of DLC: $4.40 (various costumes)
Total Price for All DLC: $50.30
Most Egregious Offense: $4.40 for a costume

The Idolm@ster 2 (PS3)

Retail Price: $100.34
Type of DLC: Songs, costumes, accessories, money
Most Expensive Piece of DLC: $22.63 (various songs)
Total Price for All DLC: $895.02
Most Egregious Offense: $31.18 for a pack of in-game emails from the idols

PopCap Games is bringing two Plants vs Zombie games to China: Plants vs Zombies Great Wall Edition and Plant vs Zombies Kingdoms. The Great Wall version takes place on the Great Wall and features Chinese zombies. [China Daily]

Allow me to start off with a euphemism. I am not exactly the biggest fan of the Japanese pop-idol group AKB48. This presents me with a problem. With 12 number-one singles since 2009, the popularity of AKB48 in Japanese culture is to the point where I can enter my local 7-11 and buy anything from "AKB48 the lunchbox" to "AKB48 the flamethrower." Their popularity is so great that the question is no longer "Do you like AKB48?" but rather "Which AKB48 singer do you like?" To which I answer: "The one who dropped out to do porn." (This is not exactly the most well-received response.)

With popularity like this, it was only a matter of time before they spread into other mediums of entertainment. (An AKB48 dating sim was released in 2010 on the PSP and an Idolm@ster clone is coming to the 3DS later this year.) Thus last week, the all-consuming mass that is AKB48 began its conquest of the world of anime with their new show AKB0048.

The plot of AKB0048 is rather straight forward. In the far future, humanity has spread across the stars; and to prevent any wars or other conflicts, many planets have banned all forms of entertainment that can "sway the human heart." This includes music. Thus AKB0048—spiritual successors to AKB48—invades these worlds to sing pop songs hundreds of years out of date to the music-starved masses.

The main characters are three 13-year-old girls who want to join AKB0048 because of an underground concert they snuck into as children. Luckily, AKB0048 just so happens to be holding open auditions for new teenage trial members—because, after all, you have to get them young before they learn words like "easily exploitable" and "15-year non-negotiable contract."

The first episode of AKB0048 should be watched by all future generations to define the word pandering. Of course, what's insane is not that it panders, but rather that it somehow panders to every possible type of AKB48 fan at the same time.

For fans of the music, practically the entire soundtrack is either vocal or orchestral remixes of AKB48's most popular songs.

For the moé fanboys, we have character designs so cute that the light reflections in their eyes—as well as their hair—are heart-shaped! Every action the three main characters make is practically designed to evoke a forlorn "moé" from even the most hardened otaku. In fact, AKB0048 is found written in the book of Revelation as the 5th sign of the Moepocalypse.

Little girls watching are given a show filled with things they think are cool (unicycles, cute outfits, and magical girl wand tasers) and a story about little girls (like them) who become musical superstars. One of the three mains states she wants to be an AKB0048 member because they're just so cute and that she wants a ribbon in her hair just like them! (Yes, apparently in the world of AKB0048, wearing ribbons in your hair is illegal.) Of course, the girls in AKB0048 dress an awful lot like the actual singers in AKB48 so "cute" may not exactly be the best adjective to describe them. The greatest coup for men in Japan is that they have managed to convince Japanese women that "cute" and "sexy" are the same thing. Japan: where a miniskirt (read: belt) and tight blouse are considered "cute."

But what's most amazing is that AKB0048 even manages to pander to the old school anime fans. The writer and director for AKB0048 is none other than Shoji Kawamori, the creator of Macross, Escaflowne, Arjuna, and Aquarion. Seeing him attached to this project is shocking. It's like if Lauren Faust, writer/animator of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends and the Powerpuff Girls, suddenly made some totally cash-in project like, say, My Little Pony... wait a sec, bad example.

Sprinkled through the background are numerous references to past Kawamori anime but sadly, despite the writer's pedigree, the first episode of AKB0048 was little more than a "Run-of-the-mill Japanese Melodrama in SPAAAAAACE." Every scene was cliché: a love confession, chasing after a train, the finger-tip-touch-almost-hand-grab, the over-strick dad (and mother secretly helping her daughter on the side), and oh so much over-emotional crying.

And as the credits roll on the first episode, we are treated to a voice over. Allow me to paraphrase. "I love my friends, I love my family, but most of all, I love AKB0048!" If nothing else good can be said for AKB0048, at least they're 100% transparent—not even trying to hide what they want your priorities to be.

AKB0048 is currently airing on various regional networks throughout Japan.