Guild Wars
A Gorgeous, Living World Sets Guild Wars 2 Apart

We all have our personal gaming quirks. I, for example, have a habit of leaping into any new game as a thief, rogue, or assassin type whenever possible. I prefer to move slowly and cautiously, in stealth and shadows, choosing my targets with utmost care. I operate alone or, when in teams, as a scout and sniper who can be relied upon not to be seen.


The flip side of this preference is that when very suddenly faced with a devastating forty-foot-high enemy boss, everyone else in the room can stand at a safe distance casting fireballs while I have to run in close and poke ineffectually at it with a puny bit of metal. Someone in this fight has foolishly chosen hard mode, and it's not the folks with the magic. The massive elemental hands rising from the earth crushed me. Thoroughly. More than once.


At the end, I managed to ding level 2. So concluded the prologue and tutorial area of Guild Wars 2.



I spent about six hours, spread out over a few play sessions, wandering through Guild Wars 2 during its public beta event this past weekend, and in all honesty it wasn't nearly enough. ArenaNet badly wants their new MMORPG, a follow-up to 2005's Guild Wars, to feel different from the countless other high-fantasy single and multiplayer universes out there. In some ways, they succeed dramatically. In others, not so much.


I began my adventures in Tyria on a high note, falling hard for the art on every screen. Graphics are hardly the be-all and end-all of importance when it comes to enjoying an MMO, but the heavily stylized, almost hand-painted quality of menus, cut-scenes, and backgrounds were immediately appealing. I was landing in a pastoral, medievalesque pastiche of a fantasy continent, but the bold strokes and splashes of color made it feel touched by human hands.


A Gorgeous, Living World Sets Guild Wars 2 Apart


Meanwhile, my adventures in stabbing my way through the world were less immediately rewarding. I've dabbled in a fair array of MMOs over the last seven years of my life, but the last time I felt so immediately, if momentarily, clueless when confronted with my hotbar and skillset was back on the first day I ever laid fingers on EverQuest II in 2005, my first MMO experience.


Guild Wars 2 very clearly had no intention of holding my hand, and in one sense I appreciated it for that. The structure is very much about the world, and about the openness of the world. The character has an individually tailored storyline to play through, but otherwise the game offers very little traditional guidance about where to go and what to try next. I focused at first on my story, but very quickly I found that the suggested level for my next chapter was two levels ahead of where my character was, and I couldn't handle the newer, stronger baddies. She simply wasn't strong enough yet to continue her own story.


A Gorgeous, Living World Sets Guild Wars 2 Apart So out I struck, into the countryside, seeking my fortune. Scout NPCs helped uncover my map and indicate where I could find quests. It seemed my job was to win over the hearts — literally — of the farmers, fishers, and craftsmen in the area. The map and loading screen for the zone both helpfully indicated where teleport waypoints were (and how many I had discovered), where skill points could be earned (and how many I had received), points of interest in the area (and how many I had found), and how many hearts could be won (and how many I had turned).


On the one hand, the vast array of information was all a bit of a heavy-duty info-dump. New to the world, and still trying to figure out how, exactly, the dagger skill with the flipping-over icon actually worked, I popped open my character window. There I found not only tabs for my skills, equipment, and stats, but also a thorough rundown of daily, monthly, and overall tasks and achievements. I was apparently 2/13 of the way to being 100% done with the day's challenges.


While the glut of information was overwhelming, as an irredeemable explorer I also found it hugely helpful, and a bit empowering. Knowing that Queensdale — the farmland and forest through which I was wandering — had 17 hearts, 16, waypoints, 21 points of interest, and 7 skill points to find and earn gave me a mission. I would know when I had reached the corners of the map; I would have clear, neatly outlined proof of when it would be all right to go elsewhere and seek stranger tides.


And so I ended up bounded by the same impulse that finds me brokenly crawling around every single possible centimeter of the map, activating every location, in a game like Fallout 3. There were numbers, percentages, and goals in front of my face; I would not be letting them go!


A Gorgeous, Living World Sets Guild Wars 2 Apart


Except, of course, that I would. Because of the way that quests and missions pop up around the world, as live events, it's easy to get carried away. Step across an invisible perimeter (which then becomes visible, on your map), and you're in range for a ring event, quest, or straight-up mass melee. Up comes an alert, whether it's for a farmer whose corn you can water or for a giant wasp who's so far got a full dozen players running for their lives. Cross out of the circle again, and you're on your own, the plea for aid vanishing from your screen as if it had never been.


Trained by other MMOs, I tried to stay respectful. When someone was fighting a centaur, I backed away; when someone was harvesting apples from a tree, I moved to another node. Only after several hours did I finally realize that the game was aiming for cooperation, not competition, and that kill-stealing was more or less impossible. If a nearby character and I teamed up on a kill, we both got credit and full loot, even without being grouped. Likewise, spawned bosses, like the giant wasp, are fights for any and all hands in the area. Anyone can heal themselves, and anyone can revive others. The game actively encourages the human impulse to come running over and lend aid in a crisis, which for me made a delightful change from the usual gruff "stay out of my way" mood I have felt in other games.


Of course, Guild Wars 2 is famously not only about cooperation but also about direct competition. I tried my hand, warily, at some PvP for a while. The PvP game takes place in almost an entirely separate sphere from the PvE game. I zoned in, surprised to find myself at an extraordinarily powerful level 80 and wearing, it must be said, some truly gorgeous, kick-ass armor. This is by design, an ArenaNet employee explained to me; the idea is to have everyone on equal footing so that winning consistently becomes a matter of skill rather than brute force.


PvP has never been my strength or my preference. I played a couple of rounds of essentially a capture-the-flag style of team mission, which looked very nice but was in very few ways distinguishable from any other "hold the point" type of mission except for one key difference that had me cackling with glee: the trebuchet.


Each team has a trebuchet on its side, for aiming and firing at structures, players, or really anything your mad little heart desires. In the rounds I played, the opposing team seemed to have forgotten theirs existed. But for someone like me, who can line up a few smart, careful, devastating shots in a round but just plain stinks at running around causing mayhem, it's the perfect support role. Dropping an enormous boulder into a point the enemy holds and watching them scatter is, it turns out, enormously satisfying. I could get used to that.


A Gorgeous, Living World Sets Guild Wars 2 Apart


Ultimately, though, my main impression of the weekend is a buoyant sense of having been carried away with the joy of exploration. Taking time to stop and complete missions, or to advance my story, felt almost like being swept aside from my real goal: seeing and finding everything.


The city of Divinity's Reach was so populated with both players and NPCs, with exactly enough background and ambient noise, that it actually felt like a city. A fantasy city, to be sure, in which people don't behave the way they would on the streets of New York, and in which residential and market districts don't necessarily make any sense from an urban planner's point of view, but a city still, with life and soul. The countryside, too, seemed to have a soul, in a way: tying missions to their areas, rather than making them burdens that a player carries around from point to point, adds a sense of boundaries and of urgency that I haven't felt in most other games.


That, in the end, is what may truly set Guild Wars 2 apart, when it's done. I felt that not only did my character have a story, but so too did the land in which she found herself. Hundreds of little stories, overlapping and flowing in and out of each other with the ripples of tiny tides. Sweeping vistas as grand as the eye can imagine are everywhere, but a country that cares who walks through it is much more rare. I hope that sense persists beyond the barest beginnings I was able to see for myself.


Mass Effect (2007)

Brandon Keener, also known as the voice of Garrus Vakarian, made an appearance on ABC's Castle this week. You can even hear tinges of the rogueish turian when Keener's voice gets real low. And he didn't even have to calibrate anything.


Now I'll leave you to your Garrus Vakarian/Malcom Reynolds fanfiction.


Garrus Vakarian on ABC's Castle [YouTube — Thanks, Matt!]


Left 4 Dead

Relive The Horror of Left 4 Dead's Witch in CosplayThe all-white, incredibly temperamental witch of Left 4 Dead fame is terrifying.


She often feels unavoidable, especially if you're playing online with hyperactive, trigger-happy teammates. The echoes of her haunting cries still terrorize my dreams occasionally. (Seriously, I play *that* much Left 4 Dead.)


She's a little less threatening in these cosplay images, though. At least while she's stuck in the frame and not chasing wildly after you. Does someone have a molotov handy just in case?



Relive The Horror of Left 4 Dead's Witch in Cosplay



L4D2 - Ellis has startled the witch [deviantART via Reddit]


Kotaku

German Court Orders Microsoft To Stop Selling Xbox 360sAchtung! A Mannheim court ruled today that Microsoft can no longer sell its Xbox 360 and Windows 7 operating systems in Germany. According to the German judge, this is because Microsoft infringed upon a Motorola patent while using certain video compression software.


But! A U.S. court has granted Microsoft a preliminary injunction while it appeals this decision, so Motorola can't enforce the German court order just yet. Xbox 360s will still be sold in Germany. For now. Let the Patent Wars begin.


German court rules against Microsoft in Motorola patent fight [Reuters]


Kotaku

Fable Heroes: The Kotaku Review Fable video games are supposed to operate around a promise. The three role-playing games spearheaded by former Lionhead boss Peter Molyneux dangled themes of changeable appearance, persistent consequence and pledge-keeping to pique players' interest. And, yeah, the knock on the Fable games is that they tend to overpromise and under-deliver. However, to my mind, it's always been better that they reached for something.


But Fable Heroes harbors no discernable promise. It doesn't dare to dream and suffers greatly for it.


Lionhead's latest effort looks adorable at first. You control one of four puppet warriors as they hack and slash through a half-dozen levels of a shrunken Albion. Players start off with four characters—two for melee and two for ranged attacks—and can unlock more skins with gold coins that they earn by smashing barrels and enemies.


There's no real strategy to the button-mashing combat. It's quick attack, flourish (heavy attack) and dodge/roll all the way. You can die in Heroes—and that happens mostly when you get lost in the on-screen chaos—but all it does is turn you into a ghost that can't pick up coins. Picking up a heart turns your puppet corporeal again and lets him or her get back to amassing wealth.


Fable Heroes: The Kotaku Review
WHY: None of Fable's psychological-profile ambitions come through in Fable Heroes, leaving only a dull button-mashing action game in their absence.


Fable Heroes

Developer: Lionhead Studios
Platforms: Xbox 360 (Version played)
Released: May 2nd (Xbox Live)


Type of game: Multiplayer hack-and-slash with light party-game elements.


What I played: Completed all levels in offline mode; spent about 3 hours playing in online multiplayer.


Two Things I Loved


  • Racing to grab more coins than other players turns into a chaotic free-for-all, making it all the more satisfying when you come out on top.
  • Turning the credits into a playable level made for a fun ending and the final face-off against a giant chicken made me laugh.


Two Things I Hated


  • It never felt like I had to work with other people while playing Fable Heroes. We just ran through the same spaces in pretty meaningless ways.
  • The squeaks and groans emitted by the puppets really do nothing in terms of imparting personality and wound up annoying me.


Made-to-Order Back-of-Box Quotes


  • "The only ending you'll get for this Fable is crappily ever after." - -Evan Narcisse, Kotaku.com
  • "Puppets everywhere should protest at the mistreatment their kind suffers in Fable Heroes." -Evan Narcisse, Kotaku.com

Grabbing gold is key to Heroes, since the Xbox 360 exclusive title operates on a competitive co-op template. You and your puppet party all fight bad guys but constantly hustle for coins to grab the top spot at end-of-level leaderboards. In addition, when the Kinect title Fable: The Journey comes out, you'll be able to siphon off gold from that game into Heroes. Coins also play into the mini board game where you roll dice to buy abilities. The board game is a nice idea initially but, after several rounds of it, I found myself frustrated at not being able to level up the specific character traits. If a dice roll turned out poorly for me, I was stuck waiting until the end of the next level before I could beef up the abilities geared towards assault strength, speed or enemy-specific attacks.


Heroes shares the cutesy toy-chest sensibility of LittleBigPlanet or Costume Quest but with much less charm than either of those games. The constant jockeying for position also reminded me of Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One, only without the tandem attacks and clever weaponry of Insomniac's most recent outing.


Worse still, Heroes really lacks the essence of the mainline Fable games. The British strain of broad humor never shows up and its moments of choice-centered gameplay feel inconsequential. Heroes' treasure chests hold good and bad power-ups like rewards that turn you into a giant hero or a chest that's actually a growly monster. Others—like a miniature rain cloud that zaps coins away your puppet—let you grief your party members by bumping into them and passing on the annoyance. None of these things feel momentous, though.


Branching paths represent another small modicum of choice. Go to the sled race mini-game or the boss battle? Pick up the good treasure or the bad one? But these features don't impact the gameworld in any lasting way. And maybe they shouldn't in a pick-up-and-play game seemingly aimed at younger audiences. But, it ultimately feels like Lionhead watered down the defining qualities of Fable just for the sake of releasing a multiplayer variant of the studio's best-known creation.


Finishing off Fable Heroes unlocks Dark Albion, a New Game + mode with tougher difficulty. I guess you're supposed to revisit the game to grind for coins, unlock new puppets and fill out the repertoire of skills.


The multiplayer time I've logged so far has ranged from spastic, muddled sessions to outings with a few stutters. At its worst, great big hiccups hobble the collision detection to a ridiculous degree. It's gotten to the point where combat and coin-collecting—the main pillars of Fable Heroes—are unplayable. I sat locked in one arena for a few minutes as the game refused to acknowledge we'd beaten all the area's enemies. But even when things run smoothly, the same lack of design intent plaguing the offline portion makes Heroes terribly bland.


The game's supposed to feel like a mash-up of party game and action romp but none of those elements really shines through. As pretty as its cartoony visuals are, Fable Heroes doesn't glow with enough ambition to make it worth anyone's time. As flawed as Fable 1, 2 or 3 may have been, you could hunt through them looking for fragments of the ideas that Peter Molyneux said would be in there. There's no big inspiration to root out in Fable Heroes. It doesn't let you be really good or really bad, which just makes it really bland.


Portal

Portal 2 Decal Is Making Me Rethink My Awesome Snow White OneI have a pretty awesome laptop decal, if I may say so myself.


But this Portal 2 decal is just too damn witty. It's also a good reminder of the kind of silly humor Valve is so skilled with. Clearly the most rational decision here is to buy a second laptop. Yes. I think I'll do that.


Portal 2 Macbook Vinyl Decal Say Apple [Etsy via Reddit]


Kotaku
Note: actual Avengers video game not included.



THE AVENGERS THE VIDEO GAME EXCLUSIVE TRAILER! [YouTube]


Kotaku
If you're building something particularly large-scale (and therefore cumbersome) in Minecraft, it might take you awhile to get through all the mining.

But look at how much more laborious it is for the inner workings of the block to gradually fall to your hacking commands. It's not as simple as slashing away with a pickaxe.

Minecraft - Mining a Block [How to mine with style] [YouTube via Reddit]


Kotaku
Total War Battles Brings a PC's War to the iPad Sadly, you cannot play Creative Assembly's Total War games on an iPad. What you can now do, though, is play an iPad game by the same developers, which has almost nothing in common with the series with which it shares a name, but is still worth a look.

Total War Battles isn't an attempt by CA to bring the Total War experience to a tablet. It's instead an attempt by the team to create something new, a blend of puzzle game and RTS that makes the most of the platform while still keeping things quick and simple enough to be able to play in short bursts.


It doesn't work entirely - it feels a little too much like a puzzle game at times - but for the most part this is a fun and unique take on strategy for the iPad. It also looks great. As a bonus, it shares Total War: Shogun 2's amazing soundtrack.


Total War Battles [$6.99, iTunes]


Kotaku
Those daring boys at Simple Pickup tap into the video game vault once more, snagging digits left and right with some painful Pokémon pickup lines. This time they even dressed the part.


It takes balls to approach a random member of the opposite sex and try to acquire their phone number. To do it dressed as Ash, Brock, Misty, and Team Rocket? That takes Master Balls. Sorry.


"I will be your Nidoking, you can be my Nidoqueen" might be the sweetest Pokémon pickup line possible. It's all downhill from there, from "I would love to Squirtle all over your face" to "you just made my Weedle use String Shot".


I hope I don't have to warn you that using any of these is an incredibly bad idea. If you really want to pick up a date, stalk them until they notice you, and then run away. They'll find it utterly charming.


Pokemon Pick Up Lines - Get Her Number! [YouTube]


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