I'd never heard about Thomas Was Alone.


However, after watching this mockumentary clip about the motion capture done to impart emotion to the game's hopping blocks I'm definitely going to pick it up. The dedication shown by the actor doing mo-cap for the hero of the indie minimalist jumping game needs to be honored, people. Look for the game to hit PC and Mac next month.

I'd never heard about Thomas Was Alone.

However, after watching this mockumentary clip about the motion capture done to impart emotion to the game's hopping blocks I'm definitely going to pick it up. The dedication shown by the actor doing mo-cap for the hero of the indie minimalist jumping game needs to be honored, people. Look for the game to hit PC and Mac next month.

We're no stranger to Dan Bull's rapping skills. He's covered some of the most popular games with his clever lyrics, but he now turns to a popular issue amongst the gaming community.

Downloadable content has been met with a lot of hostility in the past. But no one has summed up the situation so elegantly as Dan Bull has in his most recent rap video, seen above.

What's particularly fun about this video is that Dan Bull collaborated with Boogie, who you may know more commonly as his Internet persona Francis. The result is a well-written proclamation against the practice of DLC, where Dan Bull says that, "It wouldn't be conscientious encouraging dodgy ventures."

Developer Crytek, best known for the system-punishing Crysis PC games, surprised many when they announced their mobile project, Fibble.

Fibble, which became available for iOS devices yesterday, is a bouncy, cartoonish, colorful casual game. My immediate impression, on playing through the first few levels, was that this is what happens when Angry Birds meets mini golf in a Katamari world. You're a tiny alien, and you roll around when flicked. You need to navigate progressively more complex race courses — dotted throughout a human home — in as few moves as possible.

A number of level-enhancing widgets appear along the way, in the form of little alien friends who give you the ability to jump, change direction, and so on. Where the game adds a relatively unique element of puzzle-solving is that after the levels where skills are introduced, the player gets to decide where to place them. So a complex course will be laid out with room for, say, two or three alien placements, and the player has to decide (through a bit of trial and error as well as logical reasoning) where the ability to jump or change direction will be of the best benefit. Fibble also takes advantage of being on a mobile platform: if you get stuck in a corner or run out of momentum, you can tilt your device around to shake your roly-poly guy loose.

I played Fibble on an iPod Touch, and while it works perfectly well and runs smoothly, the scale of the levels and the sheer amount of detail in them would clearly benefit from a larger screen. For those who have an iPad available, that's the way to go for this game.

Fibble [$1.99, iTunes]

Fibble HD (iPad only) [$4.99, iTunes]

Last week I posted Chris DePrisco's fiber laser rendition of Jonathan Coulton's "Still Alive", the ending theme from Portal, with an implied suggestion that Portal 2's "Want You Gone" receive similar treatment. Well it did. Twice. From two completely different types of lasers.

Late last night one David Grossman shared with me a different sort of laser singing. Instead of using the pitch of the laser to replicate sound the way DePrisco did with the fiber laser, Grossman transformed his 250 watt CO2 laser into a working speaker.

David explains: "In essence, the laser is firing at a fixed repetition rate - there's around 30k pulses hitting the material every second. Each of those pulses disrupts the material, and has an associated flash of light and plume of ejected material, which pushes air outwards, making a sound.

"The circuit that's driving the laser pulsing is using the audio signal to vary the energy of each of those pulses.
As such, each plume is ejecting a different amount of material, which is also pushing air differently, causing different sounds."

To put it simply, the music is being played by tiny explosions.

As I prepared to write up Grossman's video, I got another email, this time from the original laser Portal engineer.

Chris DePrisco was dropping me a line to let me know he had followed up on the :Still Alive" video with a two-track fiber laser version of "Want You Gone". Using his single laser he recorded two tracks and spliced them together into one slightly-off but still incredible impressive video.

I couldn't decide which to post, so I posted them both. That I live in a world where such decisions are necessary pleases me to no end.

Portal 2: Want You Gone - Played with Fiber Laser

Portal 2's 'Want You Gone' Played by CO2 Laser [YouTube]

A decade and a half after Pokémon first launched, we finally see the one-minute summary that this series deserves.

Bravo, The Game Station. Next time I play Pokémon, I'm totally naming the rival Asshat.

Pokémon Lore in a Minute [YouTube]

Stuff to play, stuff to see, here comes Watch This, Play This. Confused? Read this.

The Hunger Games came out in theaters one week ago, setting new box-office records and drawing millions of eager fans. The film had two tie-in games announced, one on iOS and one on Facebook.

The Facebook game didn't materialize on March 23 as expected, instead launching as a closed beta. With no public word from developer Funtactix, it seemed particularly strange that such a closely tied-in game was missing for opening weekend.

As of today, however, The Hunger Games Adventures has become available for the public to play. In a phone call earlier this week, representatives from Funtactix stressed that the invite-only opening day launch was in the plans all along, as part of the "fan-first," "fan-focused" approach that Lionsgate has taken in its marketing of the film. Over 100,000 fans have logged into the game so far, they said, even while it was in its invite-only phase.

They also hinted that Funtactix is planning for their Facebook project to last for the long haul, explaining that they are the "official game of the franchise," representing both the book and film worlds. The franchise's biggest, most involved fans will indeed be pleased by some of the revelations the game plans to unveil in the future, including the first ever endorsed-by-the-author official map of the series's fictional future nation, Panem.

Meanwhile, as film tie-in projects go, The Hunger Game Adventures isn't bad. It's very much a Facebook game, with all the good and bad of incremental play that involves, but it plays with Katniss's world in a way that younger fans — and it is, after all, a young adult book — will probably enjoy. Funtactix has plans to keep expanding the game's world, content, and areas (eventually displaying other Districts) as time goes on.

The Hunger Games Adventures [Official Site]

Warning, spoilers ahead, starting with the end of Casablanca:

EXT. AIRPORT HANGAR – NIGHT

RICK, only moments after watching the plane containing ILSA, his love, taxi down the tarmac and fly away forever, slowly walks away from the hangar with LOUIS.

RICK: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

The two walk off together into the night.

FADE OUT.

THE END.

The ending of Casablanca (1942) is one of the most memorable film conclusions in the history of cinema. It isn't necessarily a happy ending, but it leaves the audience on a hopeful note, with Rick (Humphrey Bogart) telling the French officer, Captain Louis Renault, that it's going to be "a beautiful friendship."

But I've been tossing around an alternate way this film could end; perhaps a conclusion that is a bit more powerful:

EXT. AIRPORT HANGAR – NIGHT

RICK, only moments after watching the plane containing ILSA, his love, taxi down the tarmac and fly away forever, slowly walks away from the hangar with LOUIS.

RICK: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Louis: But what about ze plane?

Rick returns his gaze to the sky.

Louis: Ilsa will have a new life now. Using this oversized futuristic remote control, I will be rerouting the plane to...

Rick turns toward the camera.

RICK: ROBOT DINO ISLAND.

A giant robotic Tyrannosaurus Rex grabs Ilsa's plane out of the sky, as we EXPLODE to the words "CASABLANCA" in flaming typeface.

THE END.

We can all agree this is a better ending, and more appropriately sets up for the sequel, Casablanca 2: This Time More People Die.

All of this nonsense regarding the unfavorable wrap-up of Mass Effect 3 got me thinking: Have video game endings really mattered that much to me? It seems that endings of books and movies stick with me moreso than their middle content, whereas the early levels of video games stick with me moreso than their endings.

Rhett Butler didn't give a damn. Bill Murray whispered a secret to Scarlett Johannson. Frodo destroyed the ring. Jack Nicholson's cabin fever convinced him that chopping up his family with an axe was probably a good idea. And what's in the booxxxxx?

Conversely, when it comes to some of my favorite video games, their endings are rarely at the forefront of my mind when thinking back on the experience:

• How did Bioshock end? Didn't the bad guy get really bloated and angry or something? I only remember epic Big Daddy battles, shooting bees out of my fingers, and the big plot twist in Act II.
• How did Bulletstorm end? Not sure, but I kicked a whole lot of people into cacti.
• How did Red Dead Redemption end? Oh! I remember. I broke Bonnie's heart and then was forced to play as John's bratty, annoying son.

Speaking of that, Red Dead Redemption is a perfect example of the video game industry giving gamers what they consider to be an ending with a "tragic plot twist," but done in such a poor fashion that it just makes us bitter. We understand that Rockstar wanted us to really feel something, and realize that the Wild West was no "It's A Small World" ride, but the way the story's conclusion played out seemed more like a slap in the face than a well-crafted twist on a fantastic adventure. [Editor's note: Oh, Lisa... we're going to have a big argument about this.]

I'm not saying we always need "happy" endings; I'm saying we need to be satisfied.
The ending of Final Fantasy X was extremely sad, but gamers were still more than willing to cry those tears. Sure, it was resolved in Final Fantasy X-2, but the mere existence of that game is more depressing than X's ending.

As another example, I was fully prepared and content with the ending of Prince of Persia 4, when it appeared that Elika must give her life to save the world. It was her choice. It was beautiful. It was heart wrenching. …But just kidding! You get to bring her back to life and undo everything you've worked for since the beginning of the game. All your efforts have been erased so you can have a girlfriend! Isn't it great?

Nope. I found it sad, irritating, unsatisfying.

"But real life isn't always satisfying," you may argue. In my opinion, we play video games to escape the cruelties of reality. Getting audited by the IRS isn't satisfying in real life either, but the second it starts happening to me in my video games, I'm setting my consoles on fire and fleeing to wherever Margaritaville is.

So it's established. Basically every video game ending is terrible. Guys, I know we didn't want it to come to this, but please print out this letter and mail it ASAP:

Dear Federal Government,

Please change the original endings of the following video games to the obviously better and way more badass alternate endings provided. Thanks, and get your shit together regarding all the debt.

Sincerely, (Your Twitter Handle Here)

Fable 2

How it ended: You are left with the choice of either A.) returning the lives of all those who died, but losing your dog, B.) saving your dog, but letting all of those innocent people remain dead, or C.) giving it all up for a million dollars, you greedy, greedy jerk.

How it should've ended: Your dog becomes King of Albion and, as his slave, you are faced with the moral choice of feeding him overly-priced organic dogfood (recommended by 4 out of 5 veterinarians) or processed cornmeal, which will give him gas. You also have to find your own dig spots. (Sucker!)

Mario Kart

How it ended: Wait, do these games have endings? Other than you just win a fancy trophy and tell all your friends to "suck it?"

How it should've ended: We would turn the series into "The Hunger Games," so when you win, you are the only character still living. It is now your job to single-handedly carry on every Nintendo franchise left behind by your dead opponents.

Alan Wake

How it ended: "It's not a lake… it's an ocean!"

How it should've ended: No. It's neither. Alan, you're inside the snow globe of an autistic child.

Rock Band and Guitar Hero series

How they ended: You started out as a starving musician, but gig after gig earned you massive amounts of fans and upgraded your van to a stretch limo. Now, you're the world's greatest rockstar and nothing can stand in your way of achieving god status.

How they should've ended: Yoko Ono shows up during your final song and, if she is not defeated, breaks your game disc and renders your console forever unplayable.

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

How it ended: Nathan Drake saves the day Indiana Jones-style, beating the bad guys and getting the girl.

How it should've ended: Right before the credits, you get a personal phone call from Nathan Fillion. He says he's glad you enjoyed the game, but he's not going to star in the movie adaptation, so please don't ask.

Bioshock

How it ended: Fontaine injects himself with a large amount of ADAM and attacks Jack as an inhuman monster.

How it should've ended: The REAL antagonist turns out to be that scary clown from The Circus of Values vending machines. He comes to life and has unlimited everything, and the only way to defeat him is with a carnival-style water gun hidden somewhere in Rapture. If you win, you get an oversized Tweety Bird doll filled with sawdust to give to the Little Sisters in exchange for their undying loyalty. [Editor's note: Lisa, you've redeemed yourself for the Red Dead Redemption thing.]

Batman: Arkham Asylum

How it ended: The Joker injects himself with Titan and transforms into a huge, ugly Super Joker, and then your typical boss battle takes place.

How it should've ended: How about something, anything that would have actually made sense in the Batman universe? You know, where The Joker doesn't really want to kill Batman? It's all mind games? Just spitballin'.

Super Mario Bros.

How it ended: Bowser takes princess. Mario beats Bowser. Mario saves princess.

How it should've ended: Once he comes down from the mushrooms, Mario realizes Bowser won and Peach died, so he has to go back to being a plumber all day. And for some reason, he's just really mad at Luigi all the time.

Borderlands

How it ended: You just spent the entire length of an RPG searching for riches beyond imagination inside "The Vault," only to discover there is nothing within its confines except a final boss fight. And then everyone was sad.

How it should've ended: Narnia. You enter Narnia with all your guns and shoot everything in Narnia.

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

How it ended: After Guybrush's suspenseful cat-and-mouse game with the Zombie Pirate LeChuck, he exits the scene and realizes the entire game took place in a theme park and he was only playing make-believe with his older brother.

How it should've ended: NO DIFFERENTLY. THIS WAS THE GREATEST ENDING OF ALL TIME.

And finally…

Mass Effect 3

How it ended: The ending to Mass Effect 3 involves vast amounts of energy spreading throughout the galaxy via the Mass Relays.

How it should've ended: Instead of energy, it should be Skittles, with Skittles explosions erupting at each Relay. Then we find out the entire Mass Effect series was just another entry in the long line of those weird-as-f*ck Skittles commercials.

Got it? Now go write to your favorite federal official.