There are a million ‘Shops in the Naked City. Here are 20 of them.

Last week we took the ‘Shop Contest to L.A. Noire, and brought back another goldmine of entries. There were 540 comments in all, which means usually something like 400 entries at least. So making the final cut to 20 was pretty difficult. I'll be honest, some were very good but I just didn't get them. I tried to at least star those.

Here are our 20 finalists: Pedro Silva (12) took the bait and dropped in the first O.J. Simpson joke of the contest. Note the shifty eyes. pluckylump (13) also saw the possibilities in the railyard worker's uniform and turned in a spectacular Waluigi. Note the options in the corner. Kronicus (11) did something so goddamn ridiculous I have to include it here. I'm still chuckling.

Other ventures into the absurd: Khiyun (10). Look, Cookie Monster with a gun, that's funny. I threw a fit over d4rk-h4x0rer's (5) entry. Xzibit memes may be old hat but boopadoo (2), a repeat all-star here, pulled it off well.

Snake56 (16) went back to the cake meme but did a very good job with it. Again, note the options in the corner. Prof.Gast supplies the obligatory oh-shit-creeper ‘shop. Cyanid-Pontifex (4) does the same with Spy. Note the letterhead.

Overall winner candidates: dmcshinobi (6) had about a zillion entries, but I thought Osama playing L.A. Noire was his best. a316sob (1) fresh off a prolific outing of his own last week, turned in an amazing mashup of L.A. Noire and The Dark Knight. It's the ‘shop we need, but not the one we want. I've got to go with Spatula's laughs-at-first-sight interrogation of Asshole Dog. They got him cold.

Thanks again, everybody. We've got a great contest in store tomorrow, we'll see you then.

Airing moments ago in Europe and Mexico following the UEFA Champions' League Final, here is the full Gears of War 3 E3 trailer, with special musical guest Black Sabbath performing "War Pigs."

This is true. Another way to handle it is the roommate going apeshit at an innocent response to a procedural question. [5 Second Films, thanks Carlos L.]

President Obama, on a tour of Europe this week, stopped in Poland today to meet with Prime Minister Donald Tusk. As is customary, Tusk presented Obama with several gifts to commemorate his visit. One of those was the collector's edition of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings.

The Witcher is not just a Polish-developed video game series, it's based on a series of books by Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski. So The Witcher is something of a national pride symbol, as well it should be. Fahey reviewed the game for us, and it earned a Kotaku Editor's Choice star.

Will Barack Obama Play The Witcher 2? [Polygamia]

If you're on the PlayStation Network in Japan, chances are you already know this. Chances are you are also asleep as it's past 3 a.m. now. But just to make a record of it, PlayStation Network service was restored to Japan, as promised. Here's Sony Computer Entertainment boss Kazuo Hirai welcoming everyone back.

In a feature story published today in Sweden, the founders of GRIN lay their studio's precipitous demise at Square Enix's feet, saying the publisher reneged on payments during the development of a Final Fantasy game and saddled them with ridiculous requirements as the project went sour.

This is according a story (translated via Google) published today by Aftonbladet, an often provocative tabloid but, with 1.2 million readers, a newspaper of record for Sweden. In direct quotes, co-founders Ulf and Bo Andersson allege that Square Enix didn't pay a cent on a roughly $20 million (USD) contract for "Fortress," (concept art pictured) the code name for a Final Fantasy spinoff that diverged from the series' JRPG roots. The Anderssons say they met all project milestones up to the company's August 2009 bankruptcy.

As the relationship deteriorated, the Anderssons say Square Enix sent them a strange demand: Fax us the game's code, including the project's music files. "It is as silly as it sounds," Bo Andersson said (Google translation.) "It is an impossible requirement, you can not send ASCII or binary codes on the fax. It is backward. Really retarded. It was almost a criminal activity."

Square Enix then said GRIN had not been sending its milestone work to the right department, that it should have been filed with the publisher's legal division, an unusual requirement. Square Enix also started complaining that they didn't like the game's Nordic style, even though they'd asked for that at the outset, and is presumably why they went to GRIN in the first place.

Feeling like they'd been set up to fail, GRIN sent Square Enix an image taken from Final Fantasy XII saying it was a production shot from "Fortress." The Anderssons say Square Enix replied "It does not look like Final Fantasy."

"Then we realized that whatever we do ... they have decided," Bo Andersson said. (Google translation).

The remainder of the story chart's GRIN's rise and fall and the Anderssons' resulting debts and disappointment, especially in light of successful Swedish developers such as DICE (Battlefield) and Markus Persson, the creator of the indie hit Minecraft. Again, it's a Google translation, but the piece is reasonably straightforward and readable.

"We wanted to come in and revolutionize Final Fantasy, which is exactly what they need," said Andersson. "The latest version sucks of course."

Strangled by Gaming Giant [Aftonbladet, thanks Hampus and Isac]

Maybe you're bored because you didn't get out of town for the holiday weekend. Or maybe you're home visiting family and cabin fever now has you searching for a distraction. Well, whatever the case, we've got you covered. Here are some of the most amusing and entertaining videos we watched during the week that was.

The Most Mesmerizing Video of an Exploding Volcano

Smoke, lightning, clouds, dramatic score, volcano. It's not the opening of Lord of the Rings—it's an amazing video of the Icelandic volcano Grímsvötn erupting, shot by Jon Gustafsson. View »

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The ten coolest futuristic movie cars

No matter how bleak the future is, movies have taught us the cars will still be awesome. Here are the ten cars you said were the coolest futuristic movie cars of all time. Warning: spoilers to movies you should have already seen ahead. View »

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'Dying' Michigan City to Newsweek: Drop Dead

Back in January, Newsweek placed Grand Rapids, Michigan on a list of America's "Dying Cities." Naturally, many Grand Rapids natives (like yours truly!) were outraged by the grievous attack on the office furniture capital of the world. Four months later, we have it, in the form of a record-setting lip dub to Don McLean's "American Pie." View »

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Amy Poehler's Awesome Harvard Speech

Last night Amy Poehler spoke to Harvard's graduating class of 2011 in a speech that was filled with personal life lessons, with Boston accents thrown in for good measure. View »

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All the Awesome Jokes Left out of Bridesmaids

If you saw Bridesmaids you probably thought it was hysterical. Well, just think of how much funnier it could have been if they'd included Jon Hamm's dirty sex positions, the descriptions of nasty smells, or the funny lines coming out of a little boy's mouth. The rapid fire succession of all these outtakes will make your mind boggle. View »

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The Greatest Baseball Highlight Ever Happened 20 Years Ago Tonight

The video's been played and replayed so many times, it almost no longer matters who and where and how. It's a dude running through a fence. View »

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South Park Shreds EA Sports and Peter Moore

South Park never goes harder than when it goes after hypocrisy, and tonight, its allegorical tale involved the NCAA and the obscene profits reaped from what is essentially free labor. Yet EA Sports—and, of all people, its president, Peter Moore—ended up getting it the worst. View »

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Feed the Drawing Machine an Image, and It Will Sketch It

Anything that automates the creative process probably doesn't deserve a place in this world, but in the case of the Drawing Machine, I'll let it slide. The Arduino software can turn any JPEG photo into a handrawn (well, robot-drawn) image. View »

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Dancing Owls Just Don't Give A Hoot

From Russia, with love: two owls dance to the beat of a song we seem to recall from the 1990s. View »

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The Best Parts of Lady Gaga's Late Show Interview with David Letterman

On the same day her album dropped, Lady Gaga appeared on the Late Show tonight to promote Born This Way and talk with David Letterman. Full of flirting and awkward conversation, Gaga and Letterman's first chat ever was one worth watching. So with that in mind, here's our handy little video of interview's best four minutes. View »

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Watch a bike jump a GT-R-powered BMW doing a burnout

I don't know what the bike is, but the car is no less than a BMW E30 with a Skyline GT-R RB26 swap doing a wicked burnout while being jumped. It's the kind of mad collision of disparately awesome factors that make life worth living and Baseketball such a surprisingly funny movie. View »

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They're Nude. They're Gaming.

People in New York City are gathering, getting naked and playing video games. Or are they? View »

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Eleven Million Deaths Have Never Looked so Beautiful

Here are the deaths of eleven million Just Cause 2 games, caused by bodies smashing into solid ground, visualised on a map from the heavens. Please, watch it. View »

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Whoopi Goldberg Grosses Out Barbara Walters with Her Farts

This morning Dr. Oz started adjusting to life after Oprah by making an appearance on The View. While discussing the benefits of fiber with the ladies, he noted that one of its side effects is gas. Naturally, this caused Whoopi Goldberg to start farting it up. View »

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47 Of Maria Sharapova's Grunts In Her Second-Round French Open Win

Maria Sharapova faced Caroline Garcia, a 17-year-old French up-and-comer, in the second round of the French Open today. Sharapova's known for her grunting, of course; what I've never listened for before is the way it actually intensifies and becomes more guttural as the match proceeds. But maybe it's just an auditory illusion. View »

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Watching Space Shuttle Endeavor's Junk Parts Fall Back to Earth Is Worth 37 Minutes of Your Life

If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was watching an experimental film and not footage of Space Shuttle Endeavor's last launch. At times View »

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The Six Best Ways To Steal Gas

With summer comes the threat of higher gas prices — just as everyone has run out of money. Today we bring you a classic from the Jalopnik vault, Five Ways To Steal Gas, updated with the latest technique. View »

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Christina Aguilera Is a Huge Gamer

Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, popstar Christina Aguilera revealed her love for classic arcade games, saying she even has a mini "old school" arcade in her house with Donkey Kong, Mario, and Galaga.
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Washington Hiker Swears She Has Video Evidence of Bigfoot

Last weekend, a woman named Samantha went hiking with her friends near Spokane, Washington and documented the trek with her iPhone. After returning home and reviewing footage of the hike, however, Samantha was stunned to see an uninvited—yet strangely familiar—figure moving ahead of her group. Could it be... Bigfoot? View »

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Obama Fumbles Toast To Queen In Second Royal Gaffe

Yesterday, President Obama wrote the wrong date in Westminster Abbey's guest book and (I'm only going to type this once) Fox News may be right that this would have been a bigger deal if George W. Bush had done it. View »

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Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Macho Man" Randy Savage

An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who died in a car accident Friday. View »

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Watching Power Lines Explode Is a Little Bit Like Watching Fireworks

Daniel Bean, a filmmaker, captured power lines exploding like fireworks in Brazil. It's scary because the town has been experiencing a ton of problems with their electricity and the company hasn't stepped up to fix it. That. Shit. Ain't. Safe. View »

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First-Person Video From Inside the Missouri Tornado

When a massive twister hit Joplin, Mo. last night, YouTube user izelsg was trapped inside a convenience store. He posted this terrifying video shortly after. View »

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Man Brings Street Fighter to Life with His Mouth

YouTube user sonaje is talented. When he's not recreating game tunes and sound effects with his guitar, he's doing it with his mouth. View »

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Watch a lunatic chase cops around an airport in a stolen fire truck

These police officers at the Cork Airport in Ireland have it all wrong. First they let 37-year-old Edmond Stapleton steal their SUV at knife-point, and then they let him chase them around the airport. Quick, someone cue up the Benny Hill Music. View »

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Watch Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg's 'Threeway' with Lady Gaga on SNL

For its season finale, Saturday Night Live brought out two big guns: Justin Timberlake as host and Lady Gaga as musical guest. Here's the episode's soon-to-be infamous digital short, featuring Timberlake and Sandberg singing about a ménage à trois with Gaga called "3-Way (The Golden Rule)." After all, "It's not gay when it's in a three way—with a honey in the middle there's some leeway." View »

Memorial Day is Monday. Coincidentally, it was also the date of the next game waiting on the calendar in MLB 10: The Show when reader MSUHitman returned to the game this week after an eight-month hiatus spent playing Mass Effect, Dragon Age and other games.

When he resumed his franchise with the St. Louis Cardinals, MSUHitman had a start with Adam Wainwright. Playing on All-Star difficulty, he'd struggled with that particular hurler, unable to get his curve over for strikes. Nonetheless, the Cardinals were in first place when the Reds came to town.

The long layoff may have helped, as Wainwright's breaking ball was pinpoint effective from the early innings, with the fastball darting to locations where the Cincinnati batters couldn't get solid contact. Matt Holliday made a sliding catch of a sinking liner in the third inning. David Freese, Colby Rasmus and Brendon Ryan supplied superb fielding plays of their own in the middle innings, and soon it hit MSUHitman: he was two innings away from a perfect game.

He'd done this only once before in video games, on April 2, 2007 with MLB 2K7 (he has the 100-gamerscore achievement to prove it). In the ninth, Wainwright got Brandon Phillips on a popout and MSUHitman readied a cell phone camera to record the magic moment. That was as good as a jinx.

Chris Dickerson failed at a bunt attempt and then bombed a two-strike, low-and-inside slider over the right field wall for a game-tying home run.

MSUHitman managed to collect himself, realizing the game was knotted 1-1, striking out Joey Votto with Drew Stubbs on second base to keep the game tied. In the 11th inning, he gutted out the victory when Skip Schumaker doubled and Ryan slapped a seeing-eye single through the right side of the infield. It's not a perfect game or a no-hitter or even a shutout, but considering the effort and the day, it's our Game of the Week. Here's the Box Score.

Remember, all you have to do to get yourself featured in Box Scores' Game of the Week is take a picture of whatever sports video game been playing - crappy cell picture will do - write up a couple sentences about why it was so compelling, and email it to me, owenATkotakuDOTcom, with "Box Scores" in the subject header. I will star all submitters regardless of whether they are published. So be sure to include include your commenter page URL so I can properly credit the entry.

Now the Kotaku Sports open thread commences with the sports TV highlights for today and tomorrow. All times are U.S. Eastern.

Football (Soccer)

Fox carries Barcelona vs. Manchester United in the UEFA Champions League championship match from London, 2 p.m.

Indianapolis 500

It's noon tomorrow on ABC. Forgot to point this out earlier.

Baseball

Memorial Day weekend always means baseball. Today, it's the White Sox at Toronto, 1 p.m.; Fox's game of the week is at 7, either the Phillies at Mets, Red Sox at Tigers, Reds at Braves, Angels at Twins, Royals at Rangers or Cardinals at Rockies. Which is to say, nearly the entire goddamn schedule. Check local listings. Tomorrow, you've got Boston at Detroit on TBS, 1 p.m.; the Pirates at Cubs on WGN, 2:10, and Cincinnati at Atlanta on ESPN2 at 8.

MMA

UFC 130 is tonight; the preliminaries are on Spike at 8 p.m. At 9 on pay-per-view, Rampage Jackson and Matt Hamill beat on each other.

NASCAR

The Coca-Cola 600, from Charlotte Motor Speedway, runs at 5:30 p.m. on Fox.

Other Stuff

There is a shitload of NCAA baseball, softball and lacrosse on ESPN2 and Fox Sports Net, check local listings. Golf's Byron Nelson Championship has its third and final rounds on CBS at 3 p.m. today and tomorrow. The French Open is on a same-day tape at noon today and tomorrow, NBC.

Remember, you may send your sports Game of the Week nominations to owenATkotakuDOTcom, and flag it "Box Scores" in the subject header. Please include your commenter handle for proper credit.

On Smackdown last night, WWE rasslers Christian and Sheamus finally adjudicated matters inside the ring, and one fan captured the magic moment with an Aqua Blue 3DS, seen here. I bet this does indeed look lovely in 3D.

For those interested in the final score, Sheamus pinned Christian (following a brogue kick) winning out in a triple-threat match that included Mark Henry, to achieve No. 1 contender status. He'll face Randy Orton for the heavyweight belt next week.

Hat tip to our own Stephen Totilo for noticing this. Then again, Totilo would notice this. He has a paid subscription to a pro wrestling blog.

It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he had held the ball, laces out, like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?

Thought of Ace Ventura and Sean Young this week when Crecente shared this link, which has a gallery of Polaroids of Young when she was working on Blade Runner. Edward James Olmos, Rutger Hauer and, of course, Harrison Ford all cameo.

If you're wondering why I didn't make the quote from Blade Runner the answer is: Because Blade Runner was not a funny movie. On with the deals.

Hardware

• For college students Microsoft is offering a free Xbox 360 4GB console with select Windows 7 PCs $699+. Dell's qualifying computers don't save you much over buying the PC and 360 separately. Amazon's selection provides better overall deals, since several machines are at or near their lowest prices, plus no tax in most states. [Dealzon]

• Xbox 360 4GB Slim Console + $50 Gift Card is $199.99, free ship from NewEgg. [Dealzon]

• Wii Console Bundle w/ Sports Resort + Need for Speed: ProStreet and Racing Wheel is $179.99, free ship from Buy.com. Separately $254. [Dealzon]

• Xbox 360 Kinect Sensor w/ Kinect Adventures + Bonus Game is $149.04, free ship from Amazon. Choose from 5 titles that sell from $37 to $46. [Dealzon]

• Logitech G700 Wireless Laser Gaming Mouse + Free Witcher Game (PC) is $68.99, free ship from Logitech. Next best for mouse alone is $90. [Dealzon]

• Lenovo released a coupon for 20% off IdeaPads that makes lowest ever prices for Sandy Bridge 14" Y470 with GeForce GT 550M and 15.6" Y570 with GeForce GT 555M. Biggest price drop is Y470, i7-2630QM, 8GB RAM for $879. Another solid value: Y570 i5-2410M, 4GB RAM for $679 — $85 off previous low and only $40 more than i3 config.

• Dell released the new XPS 15z laptop that starts with Core i5-2410M, 6GB RAM, 1GB GeForce GT525M for $999.99 + free shipping with coupon. Or $100 more for the 300-nit FHD (1080P) WLED display. [Dealzon]

• Newegg.com offers free $25 gift card on purchase of Kinect (includes Kinect Adventures) for $149.99 with free shipping. [LogicBuy]

• Buy.com offers Rock Band 3 Wireless Keyboard and Game Bundle (Wii) for $59.99 with free shipping (normally $79). [LogicBuy]

Software

• Xbox Live 4000 Points Card is $39.99, free ship from Buy.com. Next best is $50. Ends today 8am Pacific. [Dealzon]

• FlingSmash with Wii Remote Plus is $19.99 in Target stores today. Next best is $30, and the Remote Plus sells for $32 alone. [Dealzon]

• Virtua Tennis 4 (Wii) is $23.99, free ship from Toys R Us via eBay deals. Previous low was $26. Current next best is $40. [Dealzon]

• World of Warcraft: Cataclysm is $17.99, free ship from Buy.com. Next best is $29. [Dealzon]

• Mass Effect 2 (PC Download) is $9.99. Next best is $20. [Dealzon]

• Metro 2033 (PC) is $8.25 at Amazon. Next best is $14. [Dealzon]

• Borderlands (PC) is $3.88 + $4 shipping from Amazon. [Dealzon]

• Toys R Us via eBay offers Virtua Tennis 4 (Wii) for $23.99 with free shipping (normally $34). [LogicBuy]

• Amazon offers Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds (Xbox 360) for $34.99 with free shipping (normally $47). [LogicBuy]

• Target via Amazon offers Dance Central (Xbox 360 Kinect) + 240 Microsoft Points for $29.99 only (normally $40). [LogicBuy]

• Lego Pirates of the Caribbean (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii) for $39.99 with free shipping at Buy.com [TechDealDigger]

• Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures + Kung Fu Panda bundle set for Xbox 360 is $17.92 from Amazon. Separately $33. [Dealzon]

• Spore Hero (Wii) is $9.53 from Amazon. Next best is $16. [Dealzon]

Digital Distribution

The following listing of digital download bargains are grouped by distributor. For more, see Deals4Downloads' roundup.

Amazon
• Battlefield Bad Company 2 for $7.98, save 60 percent.
• Far Cry 2: Fortune's Edition for $4.00, save 80 percent.
• The Settlers 7: Paths to a Kingdom Deluxe Gold Edition for $21.43, save 46 percent.

Also:
• Magicka for $4.99 only (normally $9). [LogicBuy]
• Far Cry 2: Fortune's Edition for just $4 (normally $19). [LogicBuy]
• Assassin's Creed Director's Cut for $6.27 (normally $19) [LogicBuy]

Beamdog
• Majesty 2 for $8.99, save 70 percent.

BigFish Games
• Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened (coupon: sherlock2) for $2.99, save 70 percent.

Direct2Drive
• Medal of Honor for $14.98, save 50 percent.
• Dead Space for $7.98, save 60 percent.
• Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II: Retribution for $20.00, save 33 percent.

DotEmu
• Runaway A Road Adventure for $4.99, save 50 percent.

EA Mobile
• Up to 90 percent off most popular iPhone and iPad games. [LogicBuy]

GamersGate
• Spore for $7.98, save 60 percent.
• Deus Ex: Game of the Year Edition for $2.50, save 75 percent.
• Deus Ex: Invisible War for $2.50, save 75 percent.

GameStop
• Metro 2033 for $23.99, save 40 percent.
• Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts for $9.99, save 50 percent.

GMG
• Thief: Deadly Shadows for $5.98, save 70 percent.

GOG
• DotEmu Games for $11.96, save 50 percent.

Impulse
• ARMA II: Operation Arrowhead for $19.99, save 50 percent.
• Hearts of Iron III Mega Pack for $12.99, save 75 percent.

iTunes Store
• The Sims 3 (iPhone) for $0.99, save 86 percent.
• SimCity Deluxe (iPad) for $0.99, save 86 percent.

Microsoft Marketplace
• Plants Vs. Zombies for $4.99, save 50 percent.

Steam
• Total War: Shogun 2 for $33.49, save 33 percent.

Strategy First
• Disciples 2 Gold. Use coupon: D2GOLD for $4.99, save 75 percent.

The Gamers Front
• Space HoRSE for $24.95, save 29 percent.

Kotaku thanks our coupon partners for providing these and other great deals. Be sure to bookmark and search their Kotaku hashtags (#techdealdigger, #dealzon, #logicbuy, #deals4downloads, #slickdeals and #dealtaku) for updates throughout the week.

Further, to our friends across the pond and north of the border, check the #ukdeals, #europedeals and #canadadeals hashtags and be sure to flag any deals you might have with that.

As always, smart gamers can find values any day of the week, so if you've run across a deal, share it with us in the comments.