Damn society, always trying to put the safety of the many above the enjoyment of a few. That's why we can't have real Portal 2 turrets scattered about our homes, monitoring and usually protecting our valuables and loved ones. Thanks the amazing things retailer ThinkGeek we can now at least own an inflatable facsimile.

Revealed during ThinkGeek's 2012 CES spectacular, the Inflatable Portal 2 Sentry Turret has all the great features of the real thing, except it doesn't talk, light up, sing, or fire off a ridiculous number of bullets. It will, however, float in a swimming pool, so take that, realism!

From the official product description:

Drastic times call for drastic measures, friends of Science. Aperture Science had to make some cutbacks to the production line when OSHA shut down the main plant. Something about air quality or lead paint in the water pipes. Silly, really. That's what waivers are for. Anyhoo, we can't get you any real, bullet-firing turrets, but we did manage to hijack a pool float factory long enough to make a bunch of these inflatable ones

Now how much would you pay? $24.99? I sure hope so, because that's how much it costs. I'm sure ThinkGeek will let you pay more if your heart is set on it.

Portal 2 Life-Size Inflatable Sentry Turret [ThinkGeek]

Valve's Portal 2 was easily one of the most musically enjoyable games of 2011. Not just for its soundtrack, but for the awesome ways that it implemented music into the background of its levels.

Youthful electronic musician BonJob agrees, putting together a very cool techno joint that incorporates sound effects from Portal 2 over a pulsing beat. I know there must be a whole crap-ton of Portal-inspired music out there, but I really dug this one. Check it out:

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I love the intro in particular; in fact, I'd be really into music that was created entirely from samples taken from the game's audio. It'd be in line with the way the game already works, after all!

BonJob can also found on Facebook. We first discovered his track on reddit.

Why would you ever want to play a video game in a language you don't understand? Once you hear Half-Life's G-Man, Metal Gear's Psycho Mantis, and Portal 2's Space Sphere speaking German you'll understand completely.

Our German-speaking audience might be scratching their heads right now, wondering what the big deal is. Well, the big deal is everything, video game or not, sounds much more intense in your language. The sinister sounds more sinister. The humorous sounds... well, more sinister, but in a funny way.

My birth father was born in Germany, so I feel a deep connection to the country. I planned on learning the language myself, though I'm afraid it would lose its magic if I suddenly understood what it meant.

I guess that's how German-speaking folks feel when watching this video. It's up to the rest of you to tell them how amazing their language is. I'm counting on you.

While NECA rolled out a bunch of impressive Valve-licensed stuff, I was still charmed by the Portal 2 offerings shown by ThinkGeek. Along a Companion Cube cookie jar and talking turrets, they also had Aperture Science cores that blurted out phrases from the Portal games. But the highlight had to be the Science Fair kit that you could plug into a potato, calling back to one of the best moments in Valve's teleportational sequel. (Potato not included but the poster backdrop is)

ThinkGeek also had Minecraft wares on display, too. Those wall-hangings should keep the Creepers away, no?

To commemorate the opening of Skyrim's fancy new Creation Kit on Valve's Steam service, Bethesda and the creators of Portal have teamed up to release an official mod. Which brings Portal 2's Space Core to Skyrim.

How? Well, it quite literally falls out of the sky.

To celebrate the opening of the Steam Workshop for Skyrim, Valve and Bethesda have teamed up to bring you the Portal 2 Space Core mod, which will let the aggressively space-centric little robot tag along on your adventures in Tamriel.

Also, since Skyrim was the only major release of 2011 without Nolan North in it, you should consider this mod a patch to fix that problem. You can now feel free to include Skyrim in the "Nolan North" section of your video game library, which is to say, your video game library.

Amazing. You can see a video of the Core falling to Earth Skyrim in the gallery above.

Fall of the Space Core, Vol. 1 [Steam]

Portal 2's Cave Johnson rants about citrus fruit in this trailer for an "Electronic Combustible Lemon," which, when ignited, plays an ominous ticking countdown followed by what I presume is the sound of lemons exploding. Sadly, the lemon itself does not explode.

The lemon's case plays the Aperture Science founder's infamous rant from Portal 2, in which he explains to listeners exactly what to do when life gives them lemons.

The bizarre gadget is on sale for $80 over at e-commerce site Etsy.

Electronic Combustible Lemon [YouTube]

Hello everyone, welcome to the Kotaku Game Club. Today will be our last meeting discussing Portal 2. After covering many aspects of the single-player experience in our last few meetings, today we'll be talking about the co-op missions, which offer a whole new set of surprises and challenges.

Since Portal 2's co-op contains some story elements, including its own ending, we must warn you once again that this discussion may include spoilers.

If you're a Game Club first-timer, here's a primer: Our goal at Kotaku Game Club is to experience games as a community, so we play a specific game each month, meeting each week in the Game Club's comments section to discuss our thoughts on a many aspects of the game, including its narrative and mechanical themes and our own responses to them.

Our meetings start at 4pm Eastern every Thursday, and last an hour or so. The Game Club is here to get everybody talking with each other, so don't be afraid to bring up any topic related to the game, speak your mind and start a dialogue with other posters.

Here's your question of the week: Does Portal 2's co-op effectively re-create the essence of the Portal experience?

One of the topics we've discussed in recent weeks was the nature of controlled experiences in gaming. Though they don't hold your hand, Valve uses clever puzzle and level design to ensure that everyone advances through the game the way they want. This allows for the subtle story cues and the hands-off teaching that define the series. Adding a second player dramatically reduces the efficacy of that type of design since the two players can (well, must) focus on each other as much as they do the level itself.

That's all, folks! Congratulations on completing another month of Kotaku Game Club! As always, there will be a thread below where you guys can let me know what game you'd like us to play next: We will most likely be going back to playing something current next month, so keep that in mind when coming up with ideas. We will make an announcement as soon as we choose what game to play next. Stay tuned and thanks for playing!

Remember to come join our last discussion of Portal 2 at Kotaku Game Club tomorrow at 4pm Eastern!

The work of custom toy creator Christian Hooton is no stranger to Kotaku. Whether it's StarCraft or Portal, Hooton's craftsmanship dazzles. Check out his latest creation: a 7-inch Portal 2 Wheatley light-up toy.

Hooton worked about a month to finish the Wheatley, which is made from lightweight plastic and has a moveable center "eye" that also lights up. According to the sculptor, "The weird thing about this one is that it's dangerously close to able to be used as a puppet. The eye is mounted on a gyrroscopesque [SIC] hinged in the center of the ball, and there are thin fishing line like strings keeping it a neutral position."

More photos on his blog in the link below.

PORTAL 2 Wheatley 7" custom light up toy [Sabretooth's Workshop via SuperPunch]

Welcome everyone to week 3 of the Kotaku Game Club's look back at Portal 2. In our third meeting we'll be talking about the game's story and characters.

Gameplay aside, the world of Portal 2 plays such a large role in making Portal 2 a rich experience, and I'm sure you all have something to say about the game's memorable story moments.

As with our past two meetings, the discussion today isn't chronological. There will be spoilers from the entire game, including the ending. Since today's discussion focuses on the plot, today's meeting will be especially jam-packed with spoilers.

If you're joining us for the first time, Our goal at Kotaku Game Club is to play games as a community so that we can share our thoughts as we're experiencing the game. We meet each week in the Game Club's comments section to discuss our experiences with our game of the month.

Our meetings generally start at 4pm Eastern every Thursday, and last an hour or so after the post is published. The Game Club is here to get everybody talking with each other, so don't be afraid to speak your mind and to start a dialogue with other posters.

As for our question of the week: Is there such a thing as too much GLaDOS?

In the original Portal GLaDOS accounted for 100% of your character interaction. (No, I don't count the turrets.) She was your guide and your nemesis for a few sentences between each puzzle. In Portal 2, her presence has grown, but her role has not. In fact, it's shrunk—GLaDOS never plays that double-role the same way. Shrunk into her personal story, GLaDOS, once an instrument of narrative utility, is now a superfluous flourish to the player's experience. So here's the larger question: Can a story that's compelling but tangential to your experience be as compelling as one that effects you directly?

Don't miss our last meeting about Portal 2 next Thursday! We'll be looking at the co-op levels and what makes them special. That's Thursday, February 2nd, at 4pm Eastern.