Total War: Warhammer 2’s soggy Curse of the Vampire Coast expansion launches today, introducing vampire pirates, monstrous crustaceans and lots and lots of booty. The Vampire Coast factions will be playable in both the Vortex campaign and the gargantuan Mortal Empires campaign. 

It’s a meaty expansion (crab meat, in case you were wondering) and the nautical vampires are pretty different from their cousins in the Vampire Count factions. They can raise the dead and they’re gross, sure, but that’s where the similarities end. 

Creative Assembly has really leaned into the pirate stuff. Faction leaders get their own upgradeable ship that functions like a mobile camp, a bit like Total War’s horde factions, but with plenty of special seafaring tricks. Pirate coves can be secretly established in other cities belonging to other factions, siphoning off cash, trade and research. There are treasure maps, pieces of eight to hunt down and loads of competing pirates prowling the high seas. 

I played around with the campaign a wee bit last night... and maybe a wee bit of this morning. It got its hooks in me deep. I’m looking forward to taking them for a spin in Mortal Empires, but I started with the Vortex campaign. Like the Tomb Kings, they aren’t competing in the Vortex race with the other main factions; their storyline runs adjacent to the others, but it’s separate. 

All the legendary pirate lords are trying to find verses of an ancient sea shanty that will let them summon a dreadful monster. The goal? Kill the monster and then raise it as an undead minion. Getting to that point requires building up your infamy level by beating up other pirates and generally being naughty. There’s even a pirate leaderboard because of course there is. They are a vain bunch. 

Tom’s been on the high seas, as well, so keep an eye out for his impressions later today. It sounds like he’s been enjoying himself.

Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne! Discounts for whichever Chaos deity is into bargains! Yes, it’s Warhammer Week over at Humble, knocking a whole bunch of fantasy and 40K adaptations down to cheapish. It barely scrapes the surface of the vast Warhammer library, but there are still loads of games vying for your attention. Which ones are great, and which belong on an Ork scrap heap? 

The Dawn of War Franchise Pack is a given. It collects the first two Dawn of Wars, along with DLC and standalone expansions, for 75 percent off. The original is a great mix of traditional RTS mechanics and tactical elements inspired by the tabletop game, while its sequel is a more dramatic (and at the time slightly controversial) shakeup, trimming back the scale and putting the focus on customisable squads rather than armies. Relic has experimented a lot with the RTS formula over the years, and a lot of that experimentation has taken place within the grimdark 41st millennium.

It’s astounding that the Skaven have another game where they’re in the spotlight, and it’s also very comforting because they’re wonderful. Vermintide 2 is a lot like the first game, applying the Left 4 Dead formula to a rat-infested city, but it takes a few more cues from RPGs, including some nifty class specialisations. Also, you’re more likely to find a group. Still, it’s worth talking some pals into joining you on this one. It’s 50 percent off, so you can grab it for little more than a tenner.  

Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War is one of Warhammer’s newest additions, and while Tom found it a bit bland in his Gladius review, I found it to be an interesting novelty. It’s 4X game, but it’s entirely absent the often rubbish diplomacy systems that so many 4X games come with. There’s no time for chatting with Orks! It’s all about war and expansion and surprisingly authentic 40K battles. I wasn’t convinced at first, but it’s grown on me quite a lot. Being rather new, however, the price has only been knocked down a wee bit.

Total War: Warhammer 2 is the best Total War game that isn’t Shogun 2, and if you’ve only got space for one of Creative Assembly’s Warhammer romps, it should be this one. However! The original is also very good and required if you want to play the ambitious Mortal Empires. It’s a stupidly huge campaign that combines the factions and maps of both games, squashing them together in a massive global war. Each turn takes forever, but it’s entirely worth the added time investment. On its own, Warhammer 2 is 33 percent off. 

You’ve got the week to pick, and I’m sure you’ll find more recommendations in the comments.