When they’re not being used as central plot beats in books that endorse rose-tinted megalomania while ignoring the root causes of staggering societal inequality, Easter eggs can be pretty cool. They’re at their best when you stumble across them yourself, of course, but after John’s Just Cause 4 review I’m not touching it with a ten foot long grappling hook.
I’m glad some people are playing though, because it meant I got to see Rico Rodriguez walk into his very own Take On Me music video.
Smash Bros. Ultimate has punched its way to the top of the UK charts, with the best ever launch for the series and the best ever launch for any Nintendo Switch game.
In its first weekend of release, Smash Bros. Ultimate sold more physical copies than Zelda, Mario, and even the combined sales of Pok mon Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee.
It's also the best UK launch for any game in the Smash series - more than 300 per cent higher than the game's Wii U version, and more than 60 per cent higher than Smash Bros. Brawl on Wii.
As I was reviewing the really broken and very disappointing Just Cause 4, I was recording key moments too. Moments like when every car at an intersection went crazy and tried to crash into something. Or when my car touched a tree so was catapulted across a mountain. Or how boats spawn by emerging from underwater like mad whales. Or that time an NPC decided to try to get into my car while wearing a radio tower.
And frankly, I’m glad I did, because it proves I’m not going mad. Have a look below to see a small collection of the non-stop festival of bugs I experienced as I tried to play.
Let me try to capture the feeling of Just Cause 4 in an anecdote: I’m currently attaching tethers to the side of a giant warship to drag it from the hill on which it is perched. I’m aiming to get it back into the water where it would much prefer to be. And it’s working! Slowly but surely, with enough tethers, the boat is inching down the grass and rocks. Why am I doing this? Because this is where the ship landed after a helicopter fired on me, causing the 150m, 2000 ton vessel to impossibly flip up high into the air, spin around and around and around for a bit, and then like a big metal leaf, float down gently onto the hillside. This is Just Cause 4 at its best. Just Cause 4 is a colossal mess.
My favourite character in the new Just Cause is called Larry. That's what I decided to call him anyway. When I met him, Larry was - how can I say this? - recently dead. Furthemore, Larry was - how can I say this? - attached to the fender of the car I had probably used to kill him. I say probably because in the heat of the moment in a Just Cause game it can be hard to say what happens and who makes it happen. The thing is, Larry wasn't just dead, and he wasn't just attached to the fender of the car I was driving. He was also floating in the air, ragdolling in a perfect summer breeze. That's because one of his legs - I forget which one - was attached to a massive helium balloon that was holding him aloft. I didn't spot Larry for a good five minutes, I reckon, such is the pace of a typical Just Cause mission. Once I did, I found it hard to let him go. For one thing, I had grown fond of him. (You could say I was attached to him.) For another, I couldn't remember the button to snap the tethers.
There are two kinds of story generated by a Just Cause game, I reckon. The first kind of story is breathless - action piled upon improbable reaction with no pauses in the telling whatsoever. The other kind of story - you could call it the Larry Story - is defined by its pauses: confusion, disbelief, slow realisation, shame. This guy was dead...and I think I killed him...and then I attached him to my car...? And to a balloon...? And I drove around for another half hour?
Just Cause 4 isn't short on the first kind of story, of course. Here's an example from a mission I encountered about halfway in.