Here's the problem: Borderlands 2 has a ridiculous number of lootable things. Like, they're just everywhere. And even if I loot them, next time I boot the game up, there they are again. Full. Waiting to be opened. So I do it again, and again, and again. It never ends.
Picture this: a frenzy with badasses flanking me left and right, friends down and needing reviving, and what is my dumb butt doing? Getting shot in the face while elbow deep in shit: bullymong scat is also lootable.
It didn't used to be like that. But then I took a look at Borderlands' challenges, which award you badass tokens that you can redeem for stat upgrades. One of those challenges is called "Open Pandora's Boxes," and it involves opening any and all lootable objects.
It's so simple, and I can get perks for doing it—so of course I indulge. Under normal circumstances, Borderland's challenges, like those in many games, are okay: they encourage you to step outside your comfort zone and try new things, or they reward you for something you already do. I can get behind the well-crafted challenges.
"Hurly Burly," for instance, requires me to shoot bullymong projectiles out of midair—it's not something I would seek to do on my own, and it's a difficult thing to do, so I appreciate it's inclusion. Games like Left 4 Dead 2 in particular have countless number of amazing achievements and challenges: CL0WND has you honk the noses of 10 clowns, which you do by meleeing, (silly but amusing!) and Chaos Generator requires you to have all of the generators running at once in "The Sacrifice" (extra challenge, because each generator gives you a wave of zombies!)
But why give me incentive to do something that's not fun or meaningful? It's one thing to open a chest with guns in it—who doesn't get a little wide-eyed and single-minded when they see a chest? Chests are great. I want to open chests. There might be awesome guns in there.
The only reason I open the toilets scattered around the game is because I need ammo: a necessity, but not something I enjoy doing necessarily. But the second you introduce an achievement or a challenge, everything changes—regardless of how enjoyable it actually is to do. I'll do it anyway—and I think game designers sometimes abuse this compulsion.
For example, there are countless games with achievements like "kill x number of enemies with y gun." The issue is that the reason I don't use the gun in the first place is because it was awful or because there's a better gun. But instead of giving me a gun that's fun to use, I get a challenge to use the gun instead. So I'll use it, but I'm not going to be happy about it.
Stop that, game designers. It's a shortcut. You get me to do what you want, but it's not because you designed something worthwhile. You know you've got something on your hands when the player gravitates to do something, to experiment, without being explicitly told to do so. Not that I'm saying that's easy to design or anything—if it was, I'm guessing that more games would achieve it!
It's not all mechanical stumbles—sometimes, the problems rewards pose are more ideological. Bulletstorm has a special system called "skillshots", which give you extra points depending on how creatively you kill your enemies. The points flash up on the screen, and the whole idea is to try to one-up yourself with more elaborate kills as you go along. It turns out that the love of points above all else can be betraying. Brendan Keogh puts the experience of playing Bulletstorm best when he says:
It's all good fun. It's all satisfying and violent and everything you want from a shooter. But then my partner walks into the room while I am playing and sees what I am doing. Or I write it out in an essay like I just did, and it feels kind of… wrong. Whereas most shooters attempt to justify the endless violence with some kind of framing narrative or an unredeemably evil enemy, Bulletstorm is more honest. It is a murder simulator, and it doesn't try to be anything else.
Similarly, I get uncomfortable thinking not so much about what the game has me do, but the way in which it has me do it: points. Points change things, give me incentive, yes—but more alarmingly, in this case, points help dehumanize what's happening on the screen all the more. In Brendan's case, being rewarded for killing creatively turns out to be revealing inasmuch as it is betraying: it forces him to wonder if he enjoys the murder and the mayhem after all.
Bulletstorm doesn't tell me that I should feel bad for what I do in violent videogames. On the contrary, it tells me without a flicker of irony or doubt that this is and should be enjoyable. Actually, that isn't quite accurate. Bulletstorm doesn't tell me anything; it forces me to admit that I enjoy this. It's a strange, non-judging passive-aggression. Oh, you like murdering people in gory ways just for more meaningless points? That's nice. Here is a guy you could decapitate for twenty-five points. You don't have to, but I think we both know you want to.
The game acknowledges that we like what it has us do, doesn't it? Maybe points have nothing to do with it. Or maybe points just end the charade and make it all blatant. Where does the sadism begin, organically with the player, or via the encouragement that the reward brings? Are we just kidding ourselves by trying to draw a distinction?
Reward with caution, game designers: challenges, achievements and the like change everything, but not always for the better.
Considering that the point of Borderlands 2 is to use the biggest possible gun on the biggest possible dude, it sure is a chatty game. Even the guns talk! It's basically a comedy; a machine-gun barrage of riffs, references, and cheeky toilet-humor. The jokes are pretty good, generally speaking, even though they have a tendency to rely on LOLspeak and juuust barely dated internet humor.
So it's a shame that the writing comes up short in such a crucial area—the main characters. Plainly put, these people are annoying as fuck.
Again: The other stuff is pretty good. The enemies? They're funny. (I particularly like the Goliath's "Welcome to die!" cry, which would be great even if it weren't also a video game reference.) Your allies? Good times. (Okay, Brick is kind of a dud, but I enjoy how Lilith is just so pumped about her new powers, and Claptrap is a gift that keeps on giving.) And your enemy? Why, Handsome Jack, his voice dripping with condescension and privilege, is probably my favorite character in the whole game.
Those men/women/robots are all written with authority and verve; the jokes are dense and the performances are strong. And yet the one character who accompanies you through the whole game—your protagonist—is an annoying loser who spouts the same few catchphrases over, and over, and over. My soldier Axton, who I thought would be a strong, silent type, will not stop carrying on; he's a fool on a level that rivals Duke Nukem. Even he doesn't sound convinced half the time.
Kudos to Gearbox, then, for anticipating this issue and giving players a way to do something about it. I didn't know about it for the longest time—I thought I was stuck with Axton for the first, oh, 30 hours with the game. By the time I started digging into the new DLC, I was well and truly exhausted by his constant mugging.
And yet right there, in the "Audio" menu, stands a single toggleable switch for "Player Callouts." I turned it off, and suddenly, Axton became the strong, silent type I had always hoped he'd be. Victory!
Perhaps you love the callouts in Borderlands 2—if so, more power to you. And hey, maybe Maya and Zer0 are less annoying than Salvador, Gaige and Axton, the three characters I've played. But as DLC continues to come out and Borderlands 2 gets bigger and bigger, I sense that more and more people are going to get sick of hearing their character yell the same dozen lines. Thankfully, we have the power to shut them up.
Shhh, Axton. Go shoot that bandit over there. Quietly. Thanks.
The first campaign add-on to Gearbox's sequel is Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty. There are a lot of things that are great about this new DLC: the loot, the characters, the awesome, awesome new vehicle.
Some vague plot line spoilers follow.
But one thing that got me to sit up in excitement while playing was this damn song above, composed by Raison Varner. I loved it so much that I'd stop right there in my tracks to listen and savor. I noticed this particular track—that Gearbox was so kind enough to send to us—just before reaching the lighthouse that Captain Scarlett sends you on a mission to find. The music changes when you transition from in combat to out, so I lingered before jumping down to what I knew was going to be a chaotic battle just so I could listen a bit longer.
The overall smooth track starts off slow, hitting peaks here and there. It feels like a good Western movie complement, and I can totally visualize a cowboy dragging his clinking metal boots towards the horizon where the fire-glowing sun shines down on his dusty, rugged outfit. I imagine he's just come out of a tough battle, looking for water but too proud to show his exhaustion. Music lets my imagination run wild, and that's why I love it so much.
But the end of the song (at around 1:10 in) is where it really gets good. (Unfortunately you can only hear a fraction of it in our sound clip. Fortunately, I found the most quiet YouTube video I could—to your left, courtesy of ShockBlastMedia—that features a lengthier listen. Just be wary of some message in the bottle location spoilers.)
It feels more romantic. I wanted to close my eyes and dance my head along to it. The gentle yet rapid guitar stringing reminded me of classical middle eastern music: soft and exotic all at once. It dips and rises with fluidity. My musically-influenced imagination traded the Western picture to something more resembling the plight of an assassin: subtle, hidden in the shadows, yet powerful and deadly. And, happily, that's exactly what a lot of Varner's work entails. This one is just my favorite. So far.
Like I mentioned yesterday, I felt like I was in a rut for a little while with my Borderlands 2 arsenal. But suddenly, upon starting the first, pirate-themed DLC, I wound up with an embarrassment of great weaponry. When it rains, it pours (bullets).
Among the guns I got was a unique Hyperion sniper rifle (not actually tied to the DLC) that does 1,000 damage (!) and is super shiny looking, to boot. But there's a catch… every time I reload, it lambasts me in a shrill, nagging tone.
"Well at LEAST you stopped SHOOTING for a little while!"
"If you were a better shot, you wouldn't need to reload!"
"You're a bad person."
You can get a sense of the gun in the above video, uploaded by YouTuber Daniel Turnbull. The best thing about this gun, called the "Auditing Morningstar" (??), is that while it's annoying, it's not too annoying to use. Unlike the cursed "Bane" submachine gun, which both makes a hellacious racket when firing and restricts your movement, the Morningstar is actually a great weapon, with that one… minor… caveat.
"Oh great. Now you're wasting ammo!"
Stop judging me, gun! You think you're so great? God!
I'm playing Borderlands 2's effortfully-titled new DLC Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty for a lot of reasons, I guess. I'm playing it for the colorful new locations, for the goofy new pirate enemies, for the sweet new sand skiff (though boo on Gearbox for not unlocking it across the entire game). But really, as with all things Borderlands, I'm playing for the loot.
There is a lot of good loot in the new DLC, which I guess makes sense, as "loot" is actually a word I associate more with pirates than any other subgenre of enemy. See, I'm probably about 2/3rds of the way through the story missions in Borderlands 2, and I'd started to feel a bit stuck with my current weapon loadout. I had a decent assault rifle, a middling sniper rifle, and a really good shotgun. Every weapon I found was in some way inferior to what I had—I hadn't had that somewhat sad somewhat awesome "Oh eff yes, this amazing shiny thing completes me" feeling for too long.
Right off the bat in Captain Scarlett, I snagged an $8,000 corrosive assault rifle. Nice. Shortly afterwards, I found my first message in a bottle. As it turns out, the bottle-message missions are the easiest way to get a crapload of great loot—but they're a little bit trickier than they seem.
First you have to find the bottle—easy, since they're always marked as orange exclamation marks on your map. After finding the bottle, you have to head to the treasure site and find the treasure. At first I thought this would be easy, but on the second one, I got a bit stumped—don't judge! Environmental puzzling isn't something I'm used to doing in Borderlands.
So, in the interest of helping out anyone else who's gotten stuck, let me give you this piece of advice: X marks the spot. Makes sense, no? These are pirates we're talking about!
When you come upon that second treasure location, and think, "Hmm, maybe that crate with the shields in it was the treasure…" It wasn't. You've gotta find the X, and then you've gotta do what treasure hunters have been doing since time immemorial: You've gotta dig.
The folks over at Gearbox sure love their easter eggs and hidden secrets. Borderlands 2 is chock full of them.
But while playing the first campaign add-on to Borderlands 2, called Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty, I stumbled on what might have to be known as my favorite.
Easter egg spoilers follow
Because it's a reference to BioShock, and I absolutely squeed when I saw Big Daddy come through mid-battle. I hadn't noticed his midget companion, named Lil Sis, but fortunately SquishyMoobs did in the video above.
Borderlands 2's first campaign add-on—Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty—releases today. It's good.
But maybe the best thing about the DLC is the new vehicle it comes with: the hovering sand skiff.
Randy Pitchford teased some sort of Star Wars references in the upcoming DLCs during our live Q&A. Once you see the sand skiff, you'll know why.
As cool as the reference is, the skiff unfortunately only seats two people: a driver and a gunner. Fortunately I am not limited by things like programming and rules and seats.
In the video above you can see me at the helm of the DLC's sand skiff. My partner in crime can easily sit atop the rickety chair to man the turrets, but what if there were three of us? Or the full four? Watch as Rogue Cheddar—also known by his human form: Mike—simply jumps on top of the boat, crouching for extra security. The only trick is that it's easier to hop on when the sand skiff is on a bit of an incline, so that the edge is closer to the player. It's also a lot easier if the driver isn't already in the vehicle, since it moves of its own accord when a driver is seated.
As long as I don't make too many violent turns, Mike can rest easily on my sand skiff. You can watch me even boost through high speeds while he sits comfortably and shoots sand worms. Even ramming into things won't necessarily mean he will fall off.
Next, I take Mike for a ride by pushing him with my sand skiff. This isn't new to the DLC, and is something I did often in the first Borderlands for funsies. But it feels a lot smoother with the sand skiff. I even manage to reverse-push him long distances.
The sand skiff can even ram into some small bandit camps. So near the middle-end of the video you'll see me drive forcefully into a hideout, spamming my harpoons at what are assuredly terrified pirate bandits.
Lastly, Mike switched seats with me and flew off of an unintended ramp, sending us flying in the air momentarily.
The sand skiff is a whole lot of fun. Fluid driving, side strafing, harpoon shooting, unconventional fun.
There's a hidden oasis in Pandora that you never knew about, with palm trees and crystal clear water that I want to die in (which, incidentally, probably happened a few times).
Captain Scarlett and her Pirate's Booty is the first in a series of planned campaign add-ons for Borderlands 2. It introduces funny new characters, some really great new weapons, more challenges, a lot of new quests and an amazing vehicle. Heck, even some of the loot chests sport new designs. It's all very new and exciting.
The first person you'll meet in Oasis—a dried up pile of dust that was once apparently a beautiful resort settled by an equally beautiful ocean—is Shade. He's basically the most exaggerated version of Johnny Depp's character—Raoul Duke—from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, complete with the glasses and hat and the crazy face. He's lonely, and ever so pleased to have a new friend roll into town. Creepily pleased.
He's also a little bit insane, like most of the people you'll meet in a Borderlands game. Insane is the new normal on Pandora. His loneliness and insanity combine to create delusion, in which Shade insists he's not actually alone on his tiny, desolate oasis. Just look at those people in the center of town! You see that one over there, slouched over that bed? She's totally not a corpse, all pinned up with a megaphone shoved in her mouth. No, not at all. In fact, go talk to her to collect a quest item that you'll need to repair the new vehicle: a sand skiff that fits two players. Well, technically fits two players, anyway (more on that later).
Developer: Gearbox
Platforms: Xbox 360 (played), PS3, PC
Released: October 16
Type of game: First-Person Shooter/Role-Playing Game hybrid
What I played: Six hours of the main storyline and a handful of side missions.
My Two Favorite Things
My Two Least-Favorite Things
Made-to-Order-Back-of-Box-Quotes
The sand skiff is the most exciting vehicle in the Borderlands universe yet. It hovers and strafes, and shoots harpoons that explode on impact. It's fast and can crash into bandit camps, unlike the other vehicles. It still can't go beyond those invisible walls set up outside most quest areas, but it's fun to infiltrate the few that do allow you to ram your hovering skiff into them to wreck unfair damage on unsuspecting enemies. It might be my favorite thing about the new DLC.
All of the enemies are designed to fit the pirate theme. Like a mini-boss named Nobeard, and NPCs—like Captain Scarlett herself—with eyepatches, peg legs and hook hands. Soon after you enter Oasis, you'll be sand skiffing around the barren ocean floor, running over sand worms and fighting off crazed pirate bandits riding in their own sand skiffs. You feel less special in your sand skiff now.
When you finally make your way over to Captain Scarlett, you'll meet the infamous pirate leader who's known for being a backstabber (but, hey, she's honest about it). That bodes well for your new alliance and the mission that tasks you with helping the English-accented pirate find the treasure she seeks.
Once you set off on her assigned mission and wander into the real hidden oasis filled with palm trees and gorgeous iceberg-blue water, you'll forget to worry about why you're there in the first place.
And then once you meet the barrage of new, electricity-damaging crystalisks and skags, you'll forget about the beauty of the place you're in. But not really. Cause it's really, really pretty. The water glows and there's a lot of natural green and palm trees in this pirate-infested area. I even caught myself often admiring the adorable little midgets with pirate hats too big for them and scarves wrapped around their faces. Put a shotgun in their hands that throws them backwards with the gun's kickback force and I'm d'awwing all over the place.
I have to admit I wasn't expecting to fight as many loaders—those mechs you fought in the main game—as I did, though. They're not my favorite enemies of the bunch, but fortunately the new DLC adds a few more of those insanely hard, you-will-certainly-die, raid-boss enemies that take a team and an all-nighter to pull off. These end-game bosses will grant you a new form of currency—seraph crystals—which you can use to buy sweeter-than-usual loot.
Randy Pitchford described this first campaign DLC as something on par with Borderlands 1's General Knoxx add-on. Without spoiling anything, this is an incredibly accurate comparison, and not just in terms of length and amount of new content. But since we're on the topic, the new DLC provides plenty of side quests alongside the one main mission Captain Scarlett sets you off on. I mentioned in my review of Borderlands 2 that side quests felt more creative when you consider how fetch-focused the first game's bulk of side missions were.
Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty certainly has a healthy amount of extra missions, but they are more reminiscent of the fetch side quests in the first game than the creative ones of the second. Fortunately the writing is so superb that it won't matter that you've been asked to deliver that bottle of whiskey or a bunch of pirate peg legs when you're giggling over having to deal with the menace that is a pervy robot or laughing at a deluded old man's love letters to the foxy Scarlett.
I loved every DLC that came out for Borderlands 1. Yes, even the Mad Moxxi one that was just wave after wave of enemies (and not just because it finally introduced a bank system). Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty feels like a continuation of that legacy that Gearbox has built for themselves. When you pop in a Borderlands game, you expect to have dialogue with quirky characters and to exchange your reliable elemental weapons for a shiny new purple one. And that's exactly what you get with this new add-on. The first DLC is well worth your time, even if it's just for that amazing sand skiff and some really impressive new weapons.