Oct 29, 2009
How to Get a Ghostly Gibus Hat
Team Fortress 2
The Powers That Be have instructed me to pen another dispatch for you unfortunates. How many goddamn words do you people need? In my day you wrote just enough words to convey meaning: "Secure that damn hill." "I will have more sausages." "This man spoke trash and I strangled him." Today's writing is complicated and has to mean two things at the same time, or it won't win writing awards. Double intendreys. Metafores. If I meet the Billy Shakespeare who came up with that nancy-assed garbage, I will bury my war-foot so far up his ass it will be a foot and a half up his ass.
Oct 29, 2009
Drop And Give Me Terror!
Team Fortress 2 - SZ
<a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/pumpkinpatch"><img src="http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/exploding_pumpkin.jpg" height="309" width="440" border="0"></a>

At ease, you wastes of skin. The Powers That Be have commanded me to write another short missive—I'm told it will be broadcast on some manner of punch-card tube machine and read by the thin, stupid youth of today, who evidently ignored my past instructions to stop wasting their lives and do more push-ups.

When I inquired what this missive should contain, I was instructed only that it had something to do with an upcoming pagan moon worship festival, and that it should be "terrifying". Evidently, the youth of today enjoy being scared. Why? Because <u>you don't know what real fear is</u>. Get out a pen and write this in your poem books: I have personally killed 6,078 men in cold blood while looking them in the eye; jumped on 1,455 live grenades; and stuffed fourteen feet of my own intestine back into my stomach. If that doesn't scare you out of your frilly pink leotards, guess what: <strong>You are an idiot and you hate America</strong>. The next time you visit your grandfather, take out your ipoot headbuds, pull up your goddamn pants, and <strong>ask him what a war is</strong>. If you're not standing in a puddle of your own Jarate by the time he's finished talking, you should ask him to start over, because you weren't paying attention.

So listen up! An update will arrive later today. There will be ghosts! There will be exploding pumpkins! You will receive achievements and candy prizes! And by <u>God you will be frightened by it</u> or I will give you something to be frightened about!

Click this link to read more about <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/pumpkinpatch" class="standardLink">The Terrifying Team Fortress Haunted Hallowe'en Special!</a>

- The Soldier
Oct 29, 2009
Drop And Give Me Terror!
Team Fortress 2 - SZ


At ease, you wastes of skin. The Powers That Be have commanded me to write another short missive—I'm told it will be broadcast on some manner of punch-card tube machine and read by the thin, stupid youth of today, who evidently ignored my past instructions to stop wasting their lives and do more push-ups.

When I inquired what this missive should contain, I was instructed only that it had something to do with an upcoming pagan moon worship festival, and that it should be "terrifying". Evidently, the youth of today enjoy being scared. Why? Because you don't know what real fear is. Get out a pen and write this in your poem books: I have personally killed 6,078 men in cold blood while looking them in the eye; jumped on 1,455 live grenades; and stuffed fourteen feet of my own intestine back into my stomach. If that doesn't scare you out of your frilly pink leotards, guess what: You are an idiot and you hate America. The next time you visit your grandfather, take out your ipoot headbuds, pull up your goddamn pants, and ask him what a war is. If you're not standing in a puddle of your own Jarate by the time he's finished talking, you should ask him to start over, because you weren't paying attention.

So listen up! An update will arrive later today. There will be ghosts! There will be exploding pumpkins! You will receive achievements and candy prizes! And by God you will be frightened by it or I will give you something to be frightened about!

Click this link to read more about The Terrifying Team Fortress Haunted Hallowe'en Special!

- The Soldier
Oct 29, 2009
We're Practically (But Not Actually) GIVING the Game Away!
Team Fortress 2
From now until 2:00pm PDT, Team Fortress will be available on Steam for the horrifyingly (to our accountants) low price of $2.49! What else can you buy for that price? That's not a rhetorical question, we're interested in all the things we can buy once those $2.49s start rolling in.

Robin "Twofortyninenaire" Walker Get Team Fortress 2 for yourself or treat a friend.
Oct 29, 2009
Drop And Give Me Terror!
Team Fortress 2
At ease, you wastes of skin. The Powers That Be have commanded me to write another short missive—I'm told it will be broadcast on some manner of punch-card tube machine and read by the thin, stupid youth of today, who evidently ignored my past instructions to stop wasting their lives and do more push-ups.
Oct 21, 2009
Meet the Sniper's Assets
Team Fortress 2 - SZ
<img src="http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/MeetSniperSDK/bobbleheads.jpg" border ="0" height="400" width="400">

With work on Left 4 Dead 2 calming down for us a bit, we were able to finish up something we <a href="http://www.tf2.com/post.php?id=2711">promised you a while back</a>—gathering up all the source files for the character models and getting them online. This'll hopefully let you guys get a lot more creative out there with your fan-made content. (We can't wait to see it.)

We've also gotten a lot of requests for models and props from the Meet the Team shorts. So we're happy to announce we've released the first set, from Meet the Sniper (note that these were made for the movies, and haven't been optimized for performance in maps, so keep that in mind).

Read the full <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=2974">blog post</a>.
Oct 21, 2009
Meet the Sniper's Assets
Team Fortress 2 - SZ


With work on Left 4 Dead 2 calming down for us a bit, we were able to finish up something we promised you a while back—gathering up all the source files for the character models and getting them online. This'll hopefully let you guys get a lot more creative out there with your fan-made content. (We can't wait to see it.)

We've also gotten a lot of requests for models and props from the Meet the Team shorts. So we're happy to announce we've released the first set, from Meet the Sniper (note that these were made for the movies, and haven't been optimized for performance in maps, so keep that in mind).

Read the full blog post.
Oct 21, 2009
Meet the Sniper's Assets
Team Fortress 2
With work on Left 4 Dead 2 calming down for us a bit, we were able to finish up something we promised you a while back—gathering up all the source files for the character models and getting them online. This'll hopefully let you guys get a lot more creative out there with your fan-made content. (We can't wait to see it.)
Sep 21, 2009
Patent Pending: #1308
Team Fortress 2 - Alden
<a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=2851" target="_blank">Patent Pending: #1308 - "GUARD DOG"</a>
Sep 21, 2009
Patent Pending: #1308
Team Fortress 2 - Alden
Patent Pending: #1308 - "GUARD DOG"
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