War. Hunh. Yeah. What is it good for? Up until right this second, absolutely nothing. We'll say it again: Absolutely nothing.

But now Edwin Starr's going to have to rewrite that stupid song of his to something more accurate, because as of this moment, war is good for something. Like what, you ask? Free stuff. March on over to World War Wednesday for all the details—or "SITREP", as we learned when we stole Tom Clancy's mail.

Also, if you weren't eagle-eyed enough to notice, the Scout made a surprise appearance yesterday with a class pack of his own. Why make a class pack an Easter Egg? There's a very good reason. Probably. There's also the real reason, which was that it didn’t fit into our Mobster, Timbuktu or War themes.

Ahhhhhh, the desert. Sandy, camel-filled seductress. What secrets does she clutch to her fig-stuffed, wind-swept bosoms?

Lots. Don't believe us? The Sphinx. Bam. That's just one secret, too. We've got so many we just threw that one away and we don't even miss it.

It's probably clear to you by now that we've been doing quite a bit of research about the desert. And why? We're going to write a book about the desert. The great American desert book. We honestly can't believe nobody’s thought of this before. We are going to be billionaires.

Anyway, since you're probably already camped out at a bookstore waiting for our desert book to come out, why not take over one of the computers at the information kiosk and enjoy TimbukTuesday?

Welcome to Day One of the Über Update--the biggest, most ambitious update in the history of Team Fortress 2.

We've got a lot to announce as we get closer to the update's release this Thursday, June 23rd. We've been holding one of the surprises pretty close to the vest for months now. We don't want to ruin it, but we'll give you four clues to get you guessing:

1.) It IS a "Meet the" short.
2.) It involves ONE of the two remaining classes.
3.) It's NOT the Pyro.
4.) It's the MEDIC.

Let the speculation begin! While you're puzzling that out, why not click over to the first of our class pack announcements: Mobster Monday. To make sure everything was as accurate as possible, we went deep undercover at the most Italian place we could find, The Olive Garden. We asked the Mafia about a million questions, none of which they understood, because our mouths were full of all the free breadsticks the Mafia gives you when you visit them (they're not such bad guys).

All that hanging out with mob guys must have rubbed off on us, because we've decided to celebrate the Über Update by giving you an offer you can't (or at least shouldn't) refuse--an unprecedented WEEK-LONG FREE WEEKEND of Team Fortress 2, starting right now!

Last but not least, today's the day we reveal our all-new website. Want a link to it? Too bad--you're already there!

• TF2Maps.net is wrapping up their Asymmetry/Symmetry Control Point Map Contest. Authors had a choice of making a symmetrical or asymmetrical control point map and five months to complete it. Head over to their contest page to download and play the collection. There are a couple servers running the collection. When you're done be sure to help them choose a winner!
• OZ Fortress wrapped up their 6th Ultiduo with yuki and bonobo taking top prize. More information and demos can be found their summary page.
• OZ Fortress also has a highlight video from their Cup 2 season compiled by Kaiza.

Hot damn! We're just minutes away from live-feeding the First Annual Saxxy Awards, and the anticipation is thick here at TF headquarters. Why? Because tonight, we are going to announce a contest winner every five minutes until someone dies! Hold on, there's somebody at the door. Keep rereading this paragraph until we get back.

Starting tomorrow find twice as many items. Enjoy!

Much like in the historical documentary 300, we have evaluated all of your movies and thrown the weak ones down a well, keeping only the Gerard Butlers. Now it's up to you, the TF2 community, to select the Gerard Butleriest.

"This is madness!" we hear you say. "No it is not!" we reply, just like in that immortal scene we always fast forward through to get to the fight scenes.

That's right. Unlike at other awards shows, where the winners are necromanced by magicians, the Saxxy Award winners in all twenty categories will be picked by YOU, the discriminating TF2 player, as well as by magicians.

Each player gets one vote per category. You can change your vote right up until the voting ends this Monday, June 6th, at 11:00am PST.

Click here to start judging!

At the close of the submission deadline last Thursday, we'd received tens of thousands of videos—many of them amazing, others less amazing but at least following the rules, and still more of them clips from King of Queens with Linkin Park songs dubbed over them. While we appreciate the passion of that final group, we should remind you that the King of Queens Metal Maelstrom contest isn't until next month.

For the rest of you, this is a reminder to get voting. As of last Thursday the Saxxys entered the all-important Battle Voting stage, with your choices bringing the strongest videos in each category to the top of the heap. Battle Voting ends Thursday, May 26th, so if you've got opinions, vote now while they still matter!

Once Battle Voting's culled the weak, Kevin James-based rap metal entries from the herd, a panel of immortal Valve combat film critics will descend from their monastery at the top of the Space Needle to choose a set of final nominees from each category. They will then bang an important-looking gong, thus re-opening the voting to the community. Each user will get ONE vote per category to help determine who will be taking home Saxxys.

Allo, mes amis! Ho ho ho!

Valve took a film class last week so they would be qualified to judge the many great entries in the Saxxy Awards contest! So many unfamiliar terms! Mise en scene! Auteur! Avante-garde! Montage! Even cinéma itself!

What do all of these words have in common? Un: They sound complicated enough that Valve decided they had no business judging cinéma. Deux: These words were all invented by me, Francis the Talking France! And so Valve has spared no expense in flying me tout de suite to the French-sounding town of Bellevue to judge the entries myself! C'est magnifique!

But onh-honh-honh. Why the sad French sounds? Because I see now this is too big a job for one talking France. So I am writing this poste de blog to announce that judging of the Saxxy Awards is now open to tout le monde! Le jugement est fantastique!

Click here to start your voting adventure! À bientôt!