Portal 2 is getting rave reviews from critics (including from us), but it is getting torn to bits by angry gamers over at the review aggregation site Metacritic. The Game of the Year? Not according to furious fans who have saddled the game with an average review score of 4.7 out of 10.

They're pissed, and they say they have good reason.

"This game is not worth the hype at all," raged one gamer on Metacritic. "The way Valve has been pushing this I was expecting the second coming of Christ but instead I got a niche, 4 hour long minigame. Worst of all is the cash shop... as if the $45 price tag for the game alone isn't enough."

Another groused: "I paid $45 for a full game, but what I got was a stripped-down game and the "opportunity" to buy the $80 worth of DLC [downloadable content] they have available on release day."

Fair complaints?

Here are some facts:

1) The game is short, but it's not a mere four hours long, as its critics are charging. The single-player campaign lasted about nine hours for me, though others may burn through it more briskly. A separate co-op campaign will exceed five hours for most gamers playing it the first time, bringing the overall playing hours easily over 10. The game costs $60 on Xbox 360 and PS3, $50 on PC and Mac, so you can judge whether the price is too high for that many hours. The quality of that time has to count for something, of course. Fans may be smarting from the reality that Portal 2, as a puzzle game, may be no more fun to play through a second time than solving a crossword puzzle again. (The game does include hidden easter eggs and comprehensive developer commentary to freshen up a return visit.)

2) The PC and Mac versions do include an in-game DLC store. This store is inaccessible in the Xbox 360 version (we're checking the PS3 version once we get our hands on it). All of the DLC is cosmetic and will visually alter the robots you can control in co-op. None grants a player a gameplay advantage or shortcut. The items cost a total of $85.64 though can be purchased in a bundle for $34.99. The items range from 16 $2 co-op gestures (the Atlas Faceplam, for example) to $5 skins for your robot .

The console versionof Portal 2 includes eight unlockable free gestures in its co-op campaign. Well, they're free as long as you take into account that the console version costs $10 more than the PC/Mac version.

The 16 gestures for the PC version are listed in the in-game's store, $2 a pop. Note the same Atlas disco ball icon in this store and in the console version, a sign that some of what's in the console version appears to cost money in the PC game.

The anti-Portal 2 gamers also complain that the new game is unoriginal and graphically unimpressive. Some seethe with the theory that Valve focused on making the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 versions of the game, porting them to PC and Mac. We're checking with Valve about whether the porting theory is true, though in terms of the game's visuals and degree of originality, we must refer you again to our review. (For those afraid to click: I thought the game's visual design was superb and surprisingly lively; I didn't mind that the story wasn't as surprising as the first game's.)

Portal 2 will probably be ok, despite the Metacritic slams. Some of the barbs thrown at it may prove to be unjustified; others, especially the concerns about over-priced DLC, may stick. This game is better than a 4.7, but buyer beware if you're concerned about playing time or annoyed about how game companies try to profit from the kind of in-game garnish that used to be free or, in the minds of some, simply should be.

Metacritic image via NeoGAF.

While frantically escaping through this factory inside the Aperture Science testing facility, I stopped to enjoy these robots making sentry turrets then boxing them up for sale. I want one for my own.

You probably won't read much of this review.

If you know what Portal 2 is you probably just want to know if the new game is great like the old one (it is) and if it is long enough to pay full price (depends on how much money you earn each week).

If you don't know what Portal 2 is, you just shouldn't read further. Unlike legions of Portal 1, fans you can actually be stunned by what a Portal game really is. Saying more would ruin things.

But there will be a review below this sentence, because there are things to discuss.

Portal 2 is the sequel to the 2007 surprise critical hit Portal. Before its release, that game was always shown as a first-person puzzle game. You were this person, this lab test subject, who had this gun. It shot two portals that could adhere to most surfaces in the game's world, the labs of Aperture Science. You could walk into one portal and you would exit the other. That was it, though what you could do with it was amazing: imagine, for example, shooting one portal at a wall and another on the ceiling and then walking through the wall in order to fall down the ceiling.

People who played Portal discovered that the game wasn't just what was advertised. It had a story. It had a villain. It had a great song and memorable jokes. It was an excellently written black comedy that sometimes made the player feel guilt.

Portal 2 is the longer storyline sequel to that first game. It offers new puzzling portal challenges, some new abilities and a separate co-op campaign that in and of itself exceeds the length of the first game. It's still a black comedy.

Why You Should Care

It's the sequel to one of the most-praised games of the past decade. Of course it demands attention. This game is a test of whether Portal worked strictly as a gem or whether it can be a series.

What We Liked

The Returning Excellence You are once again a voiceless wielder of a Portal gun, a glorified lab rat who has to use her portal gun and your wits to get through test chambers in the Aperture science labs. Each chamber is a challenge of chasms that must be spanned, switches that must be hit and impossible leaps that must be made not via quick reflexes but through inspired placement of two portals.

You are once again subject to devious puzzles that are as much fun to sort out as they are to solve once you know the solution. You're once again a silent player in a black comedy, this one arguably better-written and better-acted than before. I could tell you the plot, but that would ruin things. Let's just say that if you enjoyed the passive-aggressive torment of Aperture Science super-computer GLaDOS in the previous game, the gaming world's most nefarious computerized puppet-master, then you'll like the goings-on in this one.

The New Abilities The sequel's puzzles are more complicated than the original's, thanks primarily to the addition of new contraptions in the environment, such as tractor beams and some special paint that changes the properties of the surfaces on which it splashes. (That latter idea was great enough that the people who first cooked it up in an indie game called Tag: The Power of Paint, got hired by the makers of Portal, Valve Software, to bring their idea into Portal 2.)

The Better Look Portal games are visually spartan, illustrated mostly in the blacks, whites and grays you'd expect to see in a high-tech science lab. The design of that look had already been strong, so strong that even the little gun turrets in this serious have fan followings.

The new game livens this visual scheme not by changing the palette but by animating the world. Where games such from Super Mario Bros. to Assassin's Creed presented mostly still landscape, the damaged labs of Portal 2 are full of moving pistons, shifting walls, collapsing ceiling panels and more. This sequel takes the idea of "destroyed beauty" from Gears of War — a style that invites the player to imagine the events that wrecked the terrain they're playing through — and intensifies it by animating the restoration of much of its destroyed beauty before your eyes. The result is a marvelous animation of an intriguing world that happens before your eyes. (See the video in this review for a spoiler-free example of this.)

The Excitement For all of the first game's excellence, it was mostly a restrained experience, a thinking person's game that invited a lot of pondering and poking around. The new game is often just like that but mixes in events of extraordinary scale and heart-racing intensity. These sequences that never make the game too hard but do bring it closer to an Uncharted as a game that can offer some of the same thrills as the best sumer action movies. The energetic, mostly-instrumental score helps achieve this effect.

That Whole Co-Op Thing Most of my favorite Portal 2 puzzles are in the game's co-op campaign, a separate chunk of missions that puts players in control of a pair of robots, each capable of generating their own linked pairs of portals. The storyline for this campaign is thin, but it's little bother. The main event in co-op is the series of locked-room puzzles that comprise each of the campaign's five chapters. A co-op chapter will last two new players one to two hours, unless those players are freakishly smart. Progress can be saved after completing each challenge room, but players will probably find it more rewarding to give each other the commitment of gamers embarking on a Left4Dead campaign, soldiering through an arc of co-op until its climactic chapter end.

Just be warned: when a puzzle can involve two people placing four total portals, those puzzles can be very hard. Co-op gives headaches that single-player didn't. I didn't mind. There are few games out there that allow two people to enjoy un-rushed collaborative problem-solving. Credit to Portal 2 for doing that rare sort of multiplayer, which was as fun for me and teaming up with a friend to solve a crossword puzzle.

The Elegant Assistance Portal 2 writer Erik Wolpaw told me prior to the game's release that the new game will teach players its crazy portal maneuvers gradually and would not demand of its gamers crazy ninja twitch skills. For the most part, the game doesn't and even sometimes fixes the orientation of a placed Portal to ensure that small misfires don't lead to large frustrations. You can see the Portal 2 creators' helping hand if you pay attention, but they certainly don't make things obvious, just less tedious and finicky.

The Humor The potato stuff is funny. I also liked the stuff about lemons. But you don't want me spoiling these jokes, do you?

What We Didn't Like

Rapid Exhaustion It will be hard for most Portal 2 gamers to avoid burning through the game. While the main adventure took me more than nine hours and the co-op campaign at least seven, all of it is so fun and transitions so smoothly into interesting sequence after interesting sequence that it will be tough to stop playing. This is not a flaw of the game; it's simply a trait. Portal 2 will pass in a rush. Once it is over it may be hard to go back. This isn't a Mass Effect, in which the story can change the second time through, and it's not even a modern Mario in terms of inviting replayability to unlock new areas. While there are interesting nooks and crannies to discover, some of them teased via smartly-written Achievement goals, there's little chance that playing Portal 2 a second time will feel like a fresh experience. Given that the primary challenge of Portal is solving its puzzles — and that you burn most of the game clock just trying to figure out how to get out of each of these damn rooms — replaying the game will likely being given a crossword puzzle to complete that you already solved last week.

The inclusion of multiplayer in a video game is often a value-extender based on the idea that competitive play can have everlasting appeal. But Portal 2's multiplayer is all co-op and puzzle-based. It's a great experience the first time but one that many players may not derive much pleasure from repeating. If you enjoy games that can be savored in a single weekend, then you have nothing to worry about. But if you need the constant pull of novel experiences, the appeal of Portal 2 will expire quickly.

The Bottom Line

Portal 2 has much in common with last year's BioShock 2. Both games are sequels to beloved originals that transported gamers to extraordinary, unique locales. Both games impressed their customers with unusually sharp writing and won themselves grand affection through late-game twists that confounded gamers' understanding of what they were enjoying. Portal 2 players who know Portal 1 can't be shocked by those things again. They will expect them.

Without the ability to feel like a newly-discovered species, Portal 2 has to get by simply by being the better Portal game. It's not just bigger, it is more clever. It's puzzles are more ingenious and — I must emphasize this again — it earns high marks for presenting puzzles whose solutions are enjoyable to execute even once you've identified the labor needed to complete them. The original Portal may have had a simpler, more pure narrative, but the sequel gets by with more interesting gameplay and the unmissable opportunity to bring a friend into a must-play co-op adventure. Valve hit the right notes here. This is a great game.

Portal 2 was developed and published by Valve Software for the PC, Mac, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, released on April 19. Retails for $59.99. A copy of the game was given to us by the publisher for reviewing purposes. Played through the solo campaign and the co-op campaign, the latter via a mix of online and local split-screen. Hugged my fellow co-op player — robot to robot — a few times, only one of which times was followed by intentionally sending my buddy to his virtual death.

This won't spoil the actual game in any way, so don't worry, but there's a unique little bonus included with copies of Portal 2.

Over the past few weeks, Portal developer Valve and its more devoted fans have been engaged in an alternate reality game, which was believed to have resulted in people getting to play Portal 2 early. Just hours from its conclusion, it hasn't really worked out that way.

Were it just a game, that would fine. Disappointing, but fine. And yet it wasn't just a game, as the lure of playing one major title early had some people spending hours playing (or idling) in games, while others were buying a ton of games they'd otherwise have had little intention to purchase.

So it wasn't really an alternate reality game at all.

For hardcore consumers, the type that will engage in this kind of business, the modern video game landscape is one they rightfully approach with jaded eyes. It's an industry that often seems built to scam and exploit customers each and every step of the way, so gamers have become increasingly wary of the PR machine and its marketing stunts, especially when it comes to big publishers like EA and Activision.

A precious few companies remain outside of this fear and loathing, able to count on large, dedicated and loyal fanbases. Blizzard is one. And Valve is another. People feel that, because of those developer's track records of great games and forthright communication with fans, they can be trusted.

I think Valve blew a little of that trust this week.

For the past week or so, the company has been all but directly announcing that, if people went and played a whole bunch of indie games, Portal 2 would be released early. It seemed a neat stunt given Valve, who also developed Half-Life and Team Fortress, is notorious for releasing titles months and even years behind schedule. And hey, who doesn't like supporting indie games?

So many people bought a bundle of games they most likely did not previously own, all just to indulge in a little Portal 2 cross-promotion, and in the belief that in doing so they'd really get to play one of the biggest games of the year a day or two early.

At time of posting, that doesn't seem to be the case. While calculations vary (and the events of this ARG ebb and flow every hour), it seems the game will be released approximately ten hours early.

After all the clue-hunting, purchasing and playing of games thousands (maybe tens of thousands) of people engaged in, that's all they're going to get. The chance to play something a few hours earlier. In the middle of the night. If like me you didn't play this "game", then it's business as usual! Hell, you'll get the game a few hours early for doing nothing. But if I'd paid money for those indie games, games I only bought as part of the Portal 2 promotion, I'd maybe have expected a little more payoff at the end.

This, I feel, creates a slight problem for Valve. As the company's Steam digital delivery service has grown to be the single-most important shopfront for the PC gaming market, it has faced increasing, if muffled, criticism from both rival stores and outspoken developers. How can it be kosher, critics say, for the PC market's biggest online store to be run by a company that itself makes and sells games?

That hasn't been much of a problem to date because, Left 4 Dead aside, most of Valve's own games have not been released during Steam's period of "dominance" over its competitors. So Valve has been able to remain mostly neutral in its use of the store and its promotional power.

This "game", though, violates that neutrality. A selection of games have sold through the roof this week (Portal 2 was #1 on Steam's charts, followed by the "The Potato Sack", the collection of indie games containing Portal 2 promotions, at #2), and sold purely because people wanted to play a Valve game early. While the indie developers involved are getting a nice bonus, proceeds from each sale are still going to, yes, Valve. To promote a game Valve developed. At the expense of other third-party games.

So people were sold games believing that purchasing them would let them get at Portal 2 early. And for all their trouble got the game...a few hours early. Making matters worse is the fact the console versions of the game, shipping on physical discs, are already finding their ways into people's homes one way or another (I've already got a copy on 360, for example, while my PC version sits at "pre-load"), and those people didn't have to spend an extra cent.

There's also the matter of a disgruntled playerbase, made up of some of Valve's biggest fans, some of whom surely feel almost exploited at having "wasted" either time or money engaged in this game, with now little to nothing to show for it.

While conspiracy theorists could easily call this a stunt aimed squarely at callously squeezing a little extra money out of Portal fanatics, there is, of course, the chance that this is all simply part of the Portal universe. An elaborate, canonical gag. GLaDOS, the malevolent computer and star/villain of the series, spent the first game promising to give you something she/it never gave you. As this ARG has been mostly "run" by Valve staffers posting as GLaDOS, that's certainly a possibility.

Yes, this is far from a heinous crime. Nobody forced people to buy those games, many probably had fun with titles they'd never played and some indie developers got paid. I'm not saying the incident has been some kind of disaster, nor that everyone involved had a wretched time, or is burning their Valve merchandise in the streets.

And hey, there's the chance that, as the night drags on, those persevering with the game will be rewarded for their efforts with something. Art, in-game items, a tease of a future project, something.

Yet I can't help but feel that, through their manipulative actions over the course of the past few weeks, Valve has lost a little of its shine as a can't-fault-them company (beyond the obvious Half-Life delay jokes), and finally given critics of its online store's growing power a tangible hook to hang their complaints on.

UPDATE - As of 12:20am EST, it appears Portal 2 has unlocked on Steam for some users, while some participants in the ARG are receiving the Valve Complete Pack for their troubles.

The potatoes on the GLaDOS@Home web page are counting down, and a cryptic email from GLaDOS herself arrives. What does it mean? Is Portal 2 about to open?

We've just received an email here at Kotaku Tower from GLaDOS@home.aperturescience.com, warning us of what could very well be our impending doom.

Subject: The time has comf92xnsaielghdsm28

68 74 74 70 3a 2f 2f 77 77 77 2e 66 61 63 65 62 6f 6f 6b 2e 63 6f 6d 2f 70 61 67 65 73 2f 54 68 65 2d 47 6f 6f 64 2d 50 68 69 6c 6f 73 6f 70 68 79 2f 31 39 39 35 36 35 34 38 33 33 39 36 33 39 34 3f 72 65 66 3d 74 73

What secrets does the encrypted message hold? I'm betting it's not "Drink more Ovaltine."

A quick glance at the GLaDOS@Home countdown site shows that the Auxiliary Power Potatoes at the bottom of the page have begun counting down, with a status message that reads:

10:50 - Engaging starch-based power cells
11:00 - Reboot safety test protocol initiated...
11:00 - Relaxation chamber locks released...
11:00 - Involuntary hazard mitigation associates have assumed testing positions...
11:00 - Pre-release lethality assessment initiated...

Sounds like it's almost time. Hold me, I'm scared.

Update: As our readers have pointed out, that hex code translates to a Facebook page for a band with a new song on iTunes.

Update again: The potatoes are counting down, but the hex message we received could be a scam. The fact that the band YouTube account and page went up a day in advance of the ARG had us curious, but the song is absolutely horrible and seems to have no bearing on the game whatsoever.

...And now the page has been removed from Facebook altogether. Well that was fun.

Team Fortress 2's recent "hatless" update may not have had any hats, but this week there is a new, single accessory: a pin you can stick on your players. A Portal pin. You know, in case anyone hanging around Steam hadn't seen too much about that game already.

Anyone pre-ordering Portal 2 through Valve's own online store Steam - will get the pin, which features a Companion Cube hurtling through a portal.

Being a small pin and not a giant hat, you may well miss it in all the chaos of battle. That is, if anyone in Team Fortress 2 still actually fights. I sometimes get the feeling that, in 2011, everyone just stands around looking at each other's hats.

Seems the whole world has gone Portal mad this week. Artist Miles Donovan certainly has, coming up with these great schematic pieces showing how the guns actually work.

Or, how he thinks they work. It's not like Miles actually knows. Or he wouldn't be selling paintings on Etsy (including this one), he'd be, I don't know, touring the women's change rooms of the world, or trying to bring about world peace.

With two titles "completed" in Valve's play-for-an-early-release stunt with Portal 2, GLaDOS says we've only shaved about 90 minutes off the scheduled release of 7 a.m. Tuesday. Several sites calculate that the effort is much further ahead than that. Like, between 16 and 18 hours as of writing.

That means at this pace, everyone's beating their brains out playing indie games all weekend just to get Portal 2 to unlock in the middle of a workday - 3 p.m. Monday on the east coast, noon, on the west.

Has Portal 2 Launched Yet?
Portal 2 - GLaDOS Reboot Process
Calculated Prediction of Portal 2 Launch
Another Calculation of Portal 2's Release Time

Now we know: Portal 2 will launch early—if enough people get together and play all the indie games in the "Potato Sack" on Steam. The countdown clock ended a noon, revealing the "GLaDOS@Home distributed computational grid status" page, showing what appear to be real-time stats of how many people are playing the games of the Potato Sack, as well as a projected time to unlock Portal 2, which at the time of this writing is showing just shy of 94 hours.

That's not nearly fast enough. To the gaming PCs! Be fleet and enjoy one of the thirteen games, which include some real gems like Defense Grid, Bit Trip Beat, and Super Meat Boy. The more people that play the games simultaneously the faster the clock will count down. (We can only suppose!)