The first time I met Theresa, I found her entirely forgettable. She was nice but plain—not nearly as memorable as Bianca, the flirtatious bar maiden. I never could have imagined that, days from now, our two lives would become inextricably bound together.

Note: This post contains some spoilers for Kingdom Come: Deliverance's first few hours.

Moments after I complete my daily chores, a swell of panic sweeps through the small town of Skalitz. On the horizon, villagers spot a mounted army of Cuman barbarians. Sigismund of Luxembourg, King Wenceslas' brother, had brought them into Bohemia to stir up chaos while he attempts to take the throne for himself. In the span of minutes, they charge into the town and begin slaughtering everyone.

Instead of going to the castle, I try to save my parents who were trapped in the village square. I watch helplessly as both are murdered. With the castle gate now closed and an army of Cumans chasing me, I have only one choice. I flee.

Fortunately, a secret path takes me out into the farmland beyond the town. Here, the Cuman forces aren't nearly as dense, but as I glance over my shoulder, I see one chasing me. I have my father's sword, but I was barely able to beat up the town drunk for the money he owed me—I'm not eager to take my chances on a trained soldier. I keep running.

As I near the road that runs along the mill, I see an unattended horse waiting. How fortunate, I think. Then I hear the screams. Just beyond the horse, three Cumans are huddled around something, struggling. With a sickening twist in my gut (and thanks to some inner monologue from Henry), I realize the three soldiers have pinned Theresa against the wall. They're trying to rape her.

I freeze, unsure of what to do. Looking behind me, I see black pillars of smoke rising from Skalitz—everyone is dying or already dead. The Cuman chasing me from the castle is still on my heels and only seconds behind, sword in hand. I look back to Theresa who can't see me through the three Cumans pressing her up against the wall, pinning her arms back so she can't move. She continues to scream for help. I mount the horse and ride away. In addition to the one chasing me, there's four of them and all I have is a sword I can barely use.

How could I possibly hope to save her life? 

Liar, liar 

It's a decision that, a week later, continues to haunt me. As we've already wrote, Kingdom Come does an incredible job of putting you in the shoes of a lovably oafish nobody. I'm no hero—and I'm definitely no soldier. And with the entire town burning, with everyone dying, can I really be held responsible for choosing to save my own life instead of another's? 

After fleeing Skalitz, I arrive in Talmberg and learn that those who had fled to Skalitz's castle, including my lord, Sir Radzig Kobyla, were able to escape the Cuman siege and are riding south for Rattay. In time, I would join them, but first I want to return to Skalitz to bury my parents.

After defying the Lord of Talmberg's orders, I sneak out of the castle and make for the ruins of my hometown. Sheets of midday rain pelt roads covered in the bodies of slain villagers. A few looters and bandits pick through the remains but scatter when I threaten them. I find my parents in the town square right where they had been butchered. I get a shovel and dig their graves.

At this vulnerable moment, a gang of bandits emerges from the woods to rob me. I am outnumbered almost six to one, but their leader decides to take me on by himself. Against his massive club and without formal combat experience, I'm not able to put up much of a fight. He beats the shit out of me and then, using my father's sword, prepares to finish me off.

"Hey, goatfuckers!" The bandits turn, momentarily distracted, to see Theresa standing behind them defiantly. "The games are over," she says as Talmberg knights come charging through the gate to drive the bandits away. At this point I have suffered such grievous wounds that I am barely conscious. I wake up days later in Rattay, with Theresa watching over me. She'd saved my life.

The survivors of the Skalitz massacre are now refugees living in a ghetto built around Rattay's Pirkstein castle. Theresa, however, is fortunate to have an uncle who owns a mill outside of town and offered to let both of us stay there. Being one of the few characters I already know, I want to spend more time with her. Before long, it's clear that she has a romantic interest in me and I fancy her too. We take a walk along the river and talk in semi-playable cutscenes and scripted dialogues, and on another date I take her to the inn where we dance and drink. It's kind of nice to have a break from all the murdering and political upheaval in Kingdom Come's main quests.

I decide to finally ask Theresa how she survived Skalitz. She seems hesitant, but the dialogue tree gives me a rather long list of questions, so I begin clicking them one by one—asking about Sir Radzig and the townsfolk, getting her perspective on the raid. And then, without even thinking, I ask how she escaped the Cumans.

"I thought I was finished, but I grabbed a dagger from one of them and—wait, how did you know what happened to me?" She asks suddenly. I freeze. Without even thinking about what I was saying, I accidentally revealed the truth that I was there, watching her assault and doing nothing to stop it. I panic for a moment, but am then given the awful choice to lie.

Like most RPGs, Kingdom Come has conversational skill checks that open up new dialogue options. Often this means threatening or schmoozing someone, but this time the option is to lie—to make Theresa think that I had simply misspoken. I hastily tell her that I was speaking generally and didn't know what she was talking about and, because my speech skill was high, she believes me.

In the heat of the moment, I respond with a knee-jerk white lie to avoid revealing my cowardice, but then the truth of what I had done begins to sink in. As if it wasn't bad enough that I had watched the person I am now dating get assaulted and did nothing, I had just lied about it to her face. I feel like absolute trash.

No deliverance 

My cowardice in Kingdom Come haunts me in a way no decision in an RPG ever has. I blew up Megaton in Fallout 3, became a Sith Lord in Knights of the Old Republic 2, and killed every Little Sister in BioShock without batting an eye. But entering into a relationship with someone while actively concealing that I had left her to be raped and murdered is a new level of fucked up. But what's upsetting me is that I am not intentionally roleplaying some evil version of Henry. His decisions are my decisions.

When the roles were reversed, Theresa risked everything to save my life. After first arriving in Rattay, she confesses that when she distracted the bandits, she didn't know that the Talmberg knights were already on their way. She risked her life to save mine, but doesn't even know that I refused to do the same.

Like a lot of aspects of Kingdom Come, its ambitions are often let down by its execution. I realize this when I finally work up the courage to tell Theresa the truth. I expect that she'll be viciously angry or, at the very least, upset that I had kept it a secret for so long. I know it will be the end of our relationship, but if I can't undo my decisions I can at least atone for them. 

Only I don't have to. When I tell her, she brushes it off like it was nothing and immediately forgives me. The limits of Kingdom Come's storytelling become immediately clear. Days later we go on another date and this time we sleep together and that is it. Her questline is over and she never brings up what I had done to her. It is obvious that developer Warhorse Studios had no real intention of exploring that trajectory any further. While a part of me is relieved that I'm off the hook for my disturbing lapse of character, a bigger part is frustrated that such a well-constructed moral conflict is spoiled and unaddressed in service of a sex scene.

Even if Theresa and my story lacks a satisfying conclusion, it's still deserves recognition for how deeply it affects me. Without it needing to be obscene or overly graphic, Theresa's assault disturbs me to the point where I'm struggling to continue playing—not because of what happened, but because of how disappointed I am in my response to it. My version of Henry is supposed to be a kind of rags-to-riches hero, but instead he's a giant asshole and an even bigger coward. And maybe what disappoints me is that this says more about me than I'd care to admit.

When developers are busy filling a game world with text and textures, they often take the time to sprinkle in a few Easter eggs: hidden references to other games, films, books, and pop-culture. As players make their way through Kingdom Come: Deliverance, they're discovering that Warhorse Studios has slipped some Easter eggs into their sprawling medieval RPG.

Here's what players have found so far in Kingdom Come: Deliverance, which include references to The Witcher, Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, and even the X-Men. The game hasn't been out long, so there's bound to be more to come. Spoilers below, if you want to find all of this yourself.

Roach

You know Roach: it's the name of Geralt's horse (really, the name he gives all his horses) in The Witcher series, and in Kingdom Come: Deliverance you may come across a horse by the same name. She probably won't be standing on a roof, as the Roach we know and love does on occasion, but she's still in there.

There's even some dialogue regarding Geralt's sale of Roach to the horse-trader (click the upper-right corner to enlarge it):

The trader continues, saying "He said now he's settled down with a wife, he's afraid she'd want him to stuff her."

Witcher perk

Roach isn't the only reference to The Witcher in KCD. There's also an Alchemy perk called Witcher (its icon is a wolf, in reference to Geralt's nickname and medallion), which makes 30% more room in your belly for glugging potions, in a nod to The Witcher's heavy focus on potion-brewing.

Epona

Roach isn't the only famous horse you might meet on your travels: our old pal Epona is in the game, too.

It could be argued that a horse named Epona isn't necessarily a reference to The Legend of Zelda. Epona, a Celtic deity, was a protector of horses, donkeys, and mules, as well as a goddess of fertility, and she was later adopted by the Romans. So, it's a pretty fitting name for a horse even if you've never heard of the Zelda games. Still, we're gonna guess this is a reference to Link's horsie because that's far more fun.

Wolverine

Logan, Wolverine, Weapon X—whatever you want to call the surly Canadian superhero—makes an appearance in KCD, too. At least a part of him does. You have to look pretty closely in the image above to really see it (clicking the upper right-hand corner of the image will enlarge it in a new tab). 

Or here, I'll just do it for you:

It appears to be a skeletal hand hidden between a few rocks. The hand, as you can see, has three long claws extended. That's gotta be Wolvie's severed mitt. What's it doing in Bohemia in the Middle Ages? Well, time travel isn't exactly a rare occurrence in the X-Men. How he got his hand cut off—that remains a mystery.

Needle

Ah, Game of Thrones, that famous book series and television show that we are constantly waiting for and then consuming in one huge gulp when it arrives. In both the book and show Arya names her sword Needle, and wouldn't you know it, there's a sword in Kingdom Come: Deliverance that shares the same name.

Granted, when naming a long sharp metal thing, Needle feels like an appropriate moniker, but chances are this is KCD doing a hat-tip to GoT.

Dead witch

Coming across dead bodies is a common occurrence on the dangerous roads of KCD, but this corpse isn't your typical find. She appears to be riding a broom, witch-style. She's got a black hat, and just out of reach of her dead hand there is what looks like a magic wand. Witches get stitches, I suppose.

I'm not sure if this is in reference to a particular witch. Being old-ish, I'm not up on Harry Potter and my experience with witches begins and ends at The Wizard of Oz. Glinda had a wand, but she rode a bubble, not a broom. And the Wicked Witch traveled by broom (and by teleporting in a poof of smoke) but I don't recall her using a wand, just a lot of threats and an army of flying monkeys. If you have any further information on the identity of this witch, please contact the authorities (or just let me know).

Hot Fuzz

Nicholas Angel is Simon Pegg's character from Hot Fuzz. Angle, er, Angel, is tasked with tracking down some missing and quite elusive swans. In KCD, he appears as a Huntsman looking for help tracking down hare poachers. For the greater good, we're sure.

That vexing traffic cone

A number of players have spotted, oddly enough, a traffic cone lying in a raised wooden structure. What is a traffic cone doing in the Middle Ages? Shouldn't traffic be invented first? Some players have spent quite a lot of time trying to figure out how to get up there by climbing or jumping off nearby objects. 

Turns out, you just need to relax and have a drink or ten. Streamer snake627 got Henry blackout drunk and woke up next to the cone and the chest. Have a look:

Lord of the Rings

If you don't feel like tromping all over the world looking for Easter eggs, just have a peek in your inventory. If you've got a torch, the description reads "May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out." This is a reference to Lord of the Rings, specifically Frodo's Phial of Galadriel (a cool spider-scaring flashlight). When Galadriel gave it to him, she said, among other things, "May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out."

We don't expect to find giant spiders in KCD, but seeing as how there's a damn traffic cone and Wolverine's hand, it doesn't hurt to be prepared.

Sometimes a main quest, as good as it might be, gets delayed, moved to the back burner by a side quest. And sometimes a side quest, intriguing as it is, gets sidelined by some personal goal or task. In my case, just about everything in Kingdom Come: Deliverance has been put on hold until I get my damn boots back.

This game stole my boots. Early in the story, I'm told to get some sleep by another character, who also tells me to remove my muddy boots before getting into bed. I happily comply. I don't know how deep the simulation is in KCD yet: for all I know, if I sleep in my boots the bed could legitimately become muddy, and this character might be annoyed with me for not following his instructions. I aim to please, so I take them off.

As it turns out, I'm the annoyed one, because in the morning I awaken to discover that my boots are gone. They're not in my inventory, they're not in small room where I took them off: they've simply vanished. This obedient, uneducated peasant I'm playing is now even more of of a humble nobody because I don't even own a pair of shoes. Events in the game lead me out of the castle before I can find another pair, and every time I look down at my bare feet as I travel, I grow a bit more annoyed. This game stole my boots, and I want them back.

It's not long until I encounter a bandit. I've been considering the idea of attempting to talk my way out of dangerous situations in Kingdom Come rather than fighting: it can be a fun way to play RPGs, and at times more rewarding than simply going for your sword. And while this bandit might be a good candidate to flex my verbal wits upon, I can't help but notice that he, unlike myself, is wearing boots.

Long story short: a moment later he's on the ground, dead, and my plan to talk my way through this game is gone in an instant. That's how my fragile my personal convictions and how my moral code can turn on a dime. He has boots, I want boots, so he dies.

Turns out, though, the bandit doesn't actually have boots but rather "footwraps and soles." Footwraps? That basically sounds like just winding a strip of cloth around your feet and pretending they're shoes. Can you imagine how unsatisfying that would feel to walk in? Constantly unraveling, all lumpy and uneven—and I'm even more annoyed now that I've killed a man for his boots only to find he's wearing dirty ribbons on his feet.

A bit later, after some non boot-related parts of the story unfold, I once again awaken with nothing on my feet. This time it turns out someone has considerately stored my footwraps in a chest for me, but it's yet another reminder that this game seems to have a penchant for making me barefoot against my wishes.

Luckily, a simple quest a little while later provides me with a choice opportunity: while sneaking through a house looking for something, I spot the resident sitting at a table, eating. On his feet: boots. Two boots, which is the precise number of boots I do not have and would like to have. I choke him unconscious, take his boots, leave him with my footwraps, and split. Finally! Now I can get on with Henry's actual story.

Except, no. Kingdom Come isn't done with me yet. The moment I return to town, I hear panicked screams and see villagers running everywhere, yelling that someone has been attacked. I rush over and discover a woman lying dead, face-down in a river. The guards haven't responded, no one is around, and I don't see her attacker. Naturally, a lifetime spent playing games has taught me that when you find a dead body, you take everything it's got. Just when I've hunched over to loot, however, a guard suddenly materializes in the space next to me and accusing me of stealing the dead woman's belongings.

I pay him off so I won't get arrested, but he insists on searching me and recovering any other stolen items I have. I have two: one of them is a boot, and the other is also a boot. Dammit, I'm bootless again. And I don't even have the footwraps, since I considerately left them in the possession of the man I brutally choked unconscious in his own home. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

Why not just buy some boots? Never! This game stole my boots, and I'm determined to steal them back. And for the next few hours, that's what I try to do. I sneak around the castle looking to steal someone's boots, but first the game won't let me render Sir Divish unconscious while he's alone praying (lame), and then I miss a ladder, fall through a trap door, and injure both feet. Technically, the game says I've injured both legs, but the icons shown on my screen are of two bare feet, so in addition to looking down at my actual bare feet I get to look at these other two bare feet. Plus I have to bandage them, which is basically like putting on footwraps again! I'm now quite honestly enraged.

Outside, while wandering around on aching feet, I see a baker yelling that he's been robbed, so I chase the thief, sensing an opportunity. It's a long, slow chase, since my sprint meter keeps emptying and I have to slow down to refill it. Luckily, the thief is having the same problem, so a couple of minutes later, deep in the woods, I'm finally able to tackle him. He's poor, poorer than me, and explains that he only stole some bread because he was starving. My dialogue options include telling him that he deserves to die, which seems harsh, so I simply take the stolen bread from him (which, frankly, also seems harsh, but less harsh than killing him). I take the bread, planning to choke him and take his boots (harsh too, but fair). Unfortunately, the moment our dialogue ends, the baker himself arrives, having followed the pursuit all this way. By the time I've returned the bread to the baker and finished talking to him, the thief has vanished.

Oh, well. I just choke the shit out of the baker instead, the moment his back is turned. He has boots, great! His boots, however, are in extremely poor condition, perhaps from the extended run through the woods we just undertook. I leave him unconscious in the middle of the woods (I take the bread back, too), wondering why bad things keep happening to me.

As I'm strolling back to town in my crappy, stolen, damaged boots, I see a guard walking down a path with no one else around. I know it's risky, but I guess I'm still annoyed at having my first pair of stolen boots stolen from me, and so I have little faith or trust in authority at this point. I choke the guard out and dump him behind a wagon in a secluded part of town, and take his boots. I feel whole again. For roughly one second. I swear, I swear there was no one else around but another guard is suddenly inches from me, in my face, accusing me of a crime.

After paying him off and handing over both my new guard boots and the rotten baker boots (and the stolen and re-stolen bread), I leave town entirely, wandering the roads and wilds barefoot in a dark mood, hoping to find some traveling boot salesman so I can choke him out and steal every last boot he's got. While on the road I discover the body of a murdered nun. It's an upsetting scene to come across because she's not wearing boots and finding a corpse with boots on would really help me out right now. Naturally, I still poke around in her belongings, which is the cue for someone to instantly arrive and ask what the hell I'm doing. Even worse, this guy accuses me of murdering her.

This is an interesting situation, being accused of murder by the person who, for all I know, might be the actual murderer. What do you do? Talk your way out of it? Try to solve the murder? Accuse him? Flee? Impatiently hammer through the dialogue options because you've already decided to kill this man for his boots? There are really no wrong answers. That's what makes RPGs so great.

So, yeah, he's dead now too. Was he the killer? Only one person knows for sure, and she's a dead nun. Am I a killer? Only one person knows for sure, and I just killed him. I'm not hanging around to see if anyone else shows up: these boots were made for walkin', and that's just what I'll do.

Kingdom Come: Deliverance has had a busy week. In just six days, we've had Andy's review, Jarred's performance analysis, Tom's refreshing tales of unimportant dorks, a collection of its weirdest bugs and glitches, and words from Warhorse on what's set to improve in the immediate future. 

With the latter in mind, we already know the developer is working on better lockpicking and is mulling a 'save on quit' option—however it's now outlined the behind-the-scenes process of patching the medieval role-player, and its plans for update 1.3. 

"There clearly seems to be some confusion about various patch versions, for which we are very sorry, so let us explain it a little bit," says Warhorse on the KCD subreddit. "When we finish any patch we can’t just upload it and send it to you immediately. There is a certification phase in which platform holders check whether the patch is stable. This process takes various amounts of time on different platforms. This is the reason why the patches are released at different times."

"However, they check not only stability but also platform-specific requirements, for example, whether the controllers are named correctly, whether you can change user mid-gameplay etc. If we fail any of these platform-specific requirements, we have to upload a correction just for that specific platform. This is the reason why we are releasing a different number of patches on each platform."

Warhorse then provides an overview of Kingdom Come's patches to date, before turning its attention to what's next in update 1.3. While not guaranteed, the developer hopes to add the following in due course:

• Save and Exit functionality.
• Lockpicking minigame controls improvement on controllers.
• Pickpocket minigame improvement.
• Alchemy recipe for respec potion.
• Many quest related bug fixes. 

Warhorse also notes that a hotfix is in the works (v1.2.5), which will focus exclusively on bugs. Check out the developer's post in full here.