Listen, never mind that sharks are not the mindlessly violent animals we’ve been trained to fear, and simply additional victims of mankind’s global vertebrate binge. Dismiss, please, the ongoing cultural rehabilitation of this toothy swimmer, who is statistically quite poor at killing humans. Ignore also their adorable habit of falling asleep when you hold them upside-down. Forget it, forget it all. No more lovey-dovey thoughts for these wondrous aquatic beings, more maligned than malignant. This is a list about videogame sharks. And videogame sharks are the baddies. Here are the 9 deadliest sharks in PC games.
I believe it was Dr Ian Malcolm who first spoke those iconic, halting words: “Life, uh, finds a way.” And it turns out he was right, because with our ARK: Survival Evolved admin commands and cheats guide you can “find a way” to do pretty much anything you want. God mode, infinite stats, spawning items and dinosaurs out of thin air… You name it, we can teach you how to do it.
It s a little-known fact that the ARK in ARK: Survival Evolved is in fact short for arsebark . And that s fitting, because that s exactly what its latest DLC, Genesis, is like: a fart. And what> a fart. Not an abrupt, spluttering guff, nor an undulating trouser howl that reduces its culprit to ever more contorted grimaces of shame as it continues. No, ARK: Genesis is a proper, merciless, nine-tins-of-beans ripper, unleashed in a crowded lift on a wet Monday morning.
I wouldn t be half so childish if the developers hadn’t already made a fortune from pre-orders, or if Genesis wasn’t so bloatedly overpriced. I’d be reasonable, even, if it seemed they had attempted something beautiful and ambitious here and fallen short. But they haven t. After hyping Genesis to high heaven, they ve released an expansion that manages to negate everything that conceivably made it possible to call ARK a flawed masterpiece, while retaining every iota of the game-busting jank that made it feel like a shoddy, never-ending beta test.