Lazlow Jones co-wrote the radio scripts for all the Grand Theft Auto games (save Chinatown Wars, of course) going back to III, and appears as a radio personality in all of the games. He also, evidently, has all of the master copies of the recordings. In his home. Which is on Long Island. Or, well, a barrier island off Long Island.
Ordinarily this isn't much of a problem. but it was as Hurricane Sandy came barreling in late October, and Long Island was whomped particularly bad by the stormacane, or whatever it was at that stage. In a visit to the Opie & Anthony Show last week, where Lazlow's a regular guest, he related what his priorities were as the storm came barreling in.
1. Get the GTA III master recording.
2. Get the GTA: Vice City master recording.
3. Get the GTA: San Andreas master recording.
4. You get the idea.
"My studio is on the ground floor," he said on the show. "That's where GTA 3, Vice City, San Andreas, all those masters like the full recordings with Axl Rose and everything. I mean, all this stuff," he said. "I started freaking out and grabbing, just boxes of masters and putting it up on the second floor. Cause I was like 'I'm not going to let this stuff get ruined.'"
Asked if he was storing the recordings elsewhere, Lazlow said he'd learned he shouldn't "keep a lot of amazing masters from some epic video games on the ground floor near a sand bar."
If you're curious if he said anything about Grand Theft Auto V, he did, but only to say the game was due in the coming spring.
GTA master audio tapes almost lost during Superstorm Sandy [Original Gamer]
A seedy underground of Russian criminals has gotten so brazen it's taken to posting advertisements offering the services of its expert "bank robbers".
These crims, who mostly employ "cyberheists and tax fraud" to lift money from US banks, even go into detail about the kind of things they can offer prospective employers, as listed on the site of security expert Brian Krebs:
We provide convenient service to our partners:
Unique administrative interface – fast response
We will react momentarily to any new task
Adapt every action of a money mule to client's requirements
Timely payments via WebMoney/Liberty Reserve/Western Union, cash conversion with WU/MG
Cashout of tax return, D + P (dump & PIN, cashout of debit cards stolen via skimming)
Receive over mail or expensive merchandise pick up in a store
Mules are available for other interesting transactions
We work only by reference.
Amazing. Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the background and field these guys are "working" in (and I guess the fact Eastern European crooks gotta stick together?), what do they use as the enormous illustration on the ad? Some Grand Theft Auto IV fan art, of course, by none other than internet-famous Rockstar fan artist Patrick Brown.
Online Service Offers Bank Robbers for Hire [Krebs on Security, via Boing Boing]
We saw the first Grand Theft Auto V trailer recreated in the original San Andreas (GTA: San Andreas, to be exact). Then someone set it in Grand Theft Auto IV. So, with the second trailer's release earlier this week, it's natural we get that one rebuilt inside IV as well. This is by YouTube user underage117.
If you want to compare it to the original, it's embedded below. Or watch them side-by-side here (might want to mute the volume on one.) My suspicion is that this won't stop until Grand Theft Auto V is recreated in Grand Theft Auto IV, which will be a hell of a trick considering its map is, at most, about 1/7th the size of what GTA V's is said to be.
GTA V Trailer #2 remade in GTA IV uploaded by underage117 [h/t Adriaan V.]
Who would go through such a painstaking process to recreate the poses and action of some of Grand Theft Auto V's screenshots, courtesy of Game Informer? RomanBOY123 would, apparently.
He put GTA IV on max settings on his PC (1920x1080 resolution, with HD tree mods) and came up with some amazingly accurate screenshots to match those of GTA V's. Check out one of them above by using the slider the reveal more of each. GTA IV is on the left, while GTA V is on the right.
Be sure to hit the GTA forums to see the rest of them, because they're truly well done.
GTA IV vs GTA V graphics comparision [GTA Forums via Reddit]
This is like some kind of stunt porn from The Fast and the Furious, but it's still impressive to watch a guy get past a cop car and a SWAT roadblock, on a bridge entrance, without a scratch.
I might get the alignment checked after a drive like this, but damn. Fine work. Somewhere an action-movie screenwriter is writing a note to himself.
YouTube video uploaded by ddnewman
The Smoothest Police Evasion in GTA History [Dorkly]
There's this small problem I'm having with Assassin's Creed III. It's nothing to do with the game itself, actually, and everything to do with me. The problem is this:
Assassin's Creed III is turning me into a kind of obnoxious person.
I've developed this running commentary while the game goes on. It has nothing to do with the game's themes, or characters. It's unrelated to the gameplay and more or less completely unconnected to anything meaningful inside the game. It sounds like this:
"I used to work about a block away from there."
"They haven't changed out those cobblestones since 1773 and they're murder on nice shoes."
"That hill is the Back Bay now."
"That river is the Back Bay now. They put the hill in it."
"Lexington Common looks different when it's full of cows."
"A beacon? On Beacon Hill? I didn't see that one coming."
I grew up in and around Boston, making my home well inside of Route 128 from birth until striking out down the coast for New York City shortly before turning 25. While previous Assassin's Creed games have claimed high fidelity in recreating Damascus, Rome, and Istanbul, the basic fact of the matter is that those cities aren't my home. Boston is.
AC3 certainly doesn't represent the Boston or New England of the 21st century, of course. But the late 18th century setting of the game, a scant 230-odd years in the past, retains much more immediacy than the Italian Renaissance or the Crusades. The creatively imagined Boston-that-was is close enough to my Boston-that-is to give me a sense of familiarity both comprehensible and misplaced.
Games occupy this strange place in memory, where we so clearly go places and explore worlds that never actually existed. Experiences like To the Moon explicitly address this dissonance, but it's true of every game. I can remember how to get around a space station as well as I can remember how to get around my local mall, but my body's only been to one of the two. The mall is real; the Citadel is not.
When game spaces represent real-world spaces, the strange sense of memory gets ever-stranger. I moved to Washington, DC the year that Fallout 3 came out. Controversial advertising sprang up through the city's Metro system depicting a post-apocalyptic Capital, but it wasn't until after the game came out that I felt the full weight of investigating my own ruined city.
The general size and scale of the virtual DC is of course a mismatch to the real one—spaces in games were ever thus—but the details are devilishly familiar. In particular, the ruined Metro that provides the Lone Wanderer a route for getting around a city full of toppled buildings, nuclear waste, and super mutants is uncannily, frighteningly similar to the Metro that federal commuters use every day.
At first, while playing Fallout 3, I'd wander through the game comparing its locations to ones I knew from daily life. But after fifty or so hours of Fallout, a funny thing happened. Instead of comparing game-play time to real-world experience, I began to relate the other way around. While waiting to change trains at Metro Center in the mornings, I'd see a bench in the shadows and think, "That's good cover for avoiding the super mutants," or I'd see a door and think, "Didn't I pick that lock yesterday?"
Two Kotaku colleagues not based in New York reflected that the Grand Theft Auto games had inspired similar deja vu in them. They had played the games first, and then visited the city. On visiting, they handily identified and remembered places they hadn't actually been. As someone who lived a block away from Brooklyn's Grand Army Plaza the first time she came to the neighborhood around Outlook Park in-game, I could sympathize. On that memorable occasion, I'd blurted aloud, "I can see my house from here!"
I can, of course, visit the real Boston—or New York, or Washington DC—at more or less any time, weather and cost permitting. I don't need to see them in a game in order to explore them to their fullest—and even when I do use a game, it's not the kind I can put in the PS3. Exploring a real space, and digitally navigating an imagined space, are never the same thing.
Sometimes, though... sometimes, when game spaces represent real spaces, the uncanny and the real cross over in a very strange way. Through the games I've played, I remember the cities of my heart as places I've never actually known them to be. The tall ships of Connor's era are long since replaced with ugly motorboats, but the next time I stand on Long Wharf, part of me will remember seeing Haytham sail in on the Providence even so.
It's true that the PC version of Grand Theft Auto IV has given birth to some truly inspired mods. But not many of them totally re-paint Liberty City in as spectacular fashion as this one does.
Modder Quechus13 re-skins GTA IV's open world with the iconic, neon stripes of the Tron movies and throws in loads of ramps for leaping up into the darkened skies. Sure is pretty, but I wish that Niko was done up in glowing cyberwarrior gear, too.
You'd think I would be sick of all these weird GTAIV mod videos, but nope. Not when they've got giraffes in them.
Where the rest of the internet is fascinated by either tits or cats, it's the noble giraffe that's closest to our hearts. So videos of giraffes tearing up Liberty City in stolen cars? They are things of wonder.
It's a long video, but stick with it. It gets more wonderful the longer it goes on.
Grand Theft Auto IV - Giraffe (MOD) HD [YouTube, via TDW]
There's a lot of evil in Liberty City. And, therefore, a lot of victims that need avenging. It's a good thing, then that Junior Almeida's Ghost Rider mod turns Niko Bellic into Marvel Comics' flaming skull-headed, demonic anti-hero.
Is the best thing about having Niko Bellic become the latest host for Zarathos the fiery trail he leaves in his wake? Or is it the way that cars go flying when the Hellcycle gets up to top speed? No, it's probably the firebreathing. Best way to get sinners to repent.
(Thanks, tipster Gareth)
The last numerical installment of Rockstar's open-world crime franchise has proven to be a goldmine of really awesome mods on PC. We've seen everything from giant megaladon sharks to Transformers to the Back to the Future DeLorean in Liberty City.
And there have been self-referential mods, too, with a GTA IV to GTA III conversion seen in July. The mod above continues that trend and travels even further back in time, replicating the top-down view of 1999's Grand Theft Auto 2 inside the RAGE engine that powers GTA IV. The switch from top-down to the game's normal camera is a nice feature. Work on this mod has reportedly stopped, though. That's too bad. It would've been a nice way to enjoy nostalgia and franchise evolution in one fell swoop.
Footage of GTA 2 powered by GTA IV's RAGE engine [Strategy Informer]