Lazlow Jones co-wrote the radio scripts for all the Grand Theft Auto games (save Chinatown Wars, of course) going back to III, and appears as a radio personality in all of the games. He also, evidently, has all of the master copies of the recordings. In his home. Which is on Long Island. Or, well, a barrier island off Long Island.
Ordinarily this isn't much of a problem. but it was as Hurricane Sandy came barreling in late October, and Long Island was whomped particularly bad by the stormacane, or whatever it was at that stage. In a visit to the Opie & Anthony Show last week, where Lazlow's a regular guest, he related what his priorities were as the storm came barreling in.
1. Get the GTA III master recording.
2. Get the GTA: Vice City master recording.
3. Get the GTA: San Andreas master recording.
4. You get the idea.
"My studio is on the ground floor," he said on the show. "That's where GTA 3, Vice City, San Andreas, all those masters like the full recordings with Axl Rose and everything. I mean, all this stuff," he said. "I started freaking out and grabbing, just boxes of masters and putting it up on the second floor. Cause I was like 'I'm not going to let this stuff get ruined.'"
Asked if he was storing the recordings elsewhere, Lazlow said he'd learned he shouldn't "keep a lot of amazing masters from some epic video games on the ground floor near a sand bar."
If you're curious if he said anything about Grand Theft Auto V, he did, but only to say the game was due in the coming spring.
The bathysphere, scuba gear and colossal frikkin' shark in these new screens hint that you're also going to diving into some deep underwater hijinks, too. And, hey, dog is your co-pilot, too! How cool does that Rottweiler look in that ride? Cooler than that Fable 2 mutt, that's for sure.
Names such as Mortal Kombat and Grand Theft Auto are longtime punching bags in an often-clueless discussion of violent video games in the mainstream. So it was no surprise to hear Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the National Rifle Association, invoke them in a rambling attempt to deflect blame from the assault weapons that gunned down 20 six- and seven-year-old children last week, to a culture he alleges inspired such acts.
Here's an examination of those two games and the three others that Wayne LaPierre mentioned, and their relevance—or lack thereof—to the neverending scapegoating of video games in America.
Publisher: Electronic Arts Released: Feb. 22, 2011 (North America)
Bulletstorm is a science-fiction action story about a space pirate marooned on a paradise world overrun by mutants and horrible monsters. Humanoid victims die in gruesome ways, but the violence is largely self-satirical.
Bulletstorm's most gratuitously objectionable content wasn't necessarily the blood and gore. Game critics chided Bulletstorm for frathouse dialogue saturated with references to male genitalia. The tone spilled over into in-game scoring combinations with titles like "gang bang" or "topless." A psychologist was quoted out of context in an outrageous Fox News report saying this language encouraged gamers to commit sexual violence, or desensitized them to it.
Bulletstormsold poorly and Epic Games' then-boss Mike Capps said the series was unlikely to get a sequel.
ESRB Rating: M, for "Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Partial Nudity, Sexual Themes, Strong Language, Use of Alcohol."
ESRB Rating Summary:This is a first-person shooter in which players assume the role of a space pirate who must escape a planet populated by mutant cannibals. Players use futuristic machine guns, shotguns, magnum revolvers, assault rifles, and chain guns to perform over-the-top kills that dismember and decapitate foes. Injured enemies emit large sprays of blood that stain the ground and surrounding walls. Specialty kills (i.e., Skillshots) represent the most intense instances of violence: enemies can be dismembered with explosives; impaled on spikes; and drilled into walls, resulting in body parts breaking into pieces.
During the course of the game, players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences. The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one's mother (e.g., 'Guess I know where the ol' gal got that limp.'). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies' exposed buttocks. Language such as 'f**k,' 'sh*t,' 'p*ssy,' and 'c*ck' can be heard in dialogue.
Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment Series Began: 1992. Latest Release Published:Mortal Kombat, April 19, 2011.
Mortal Kombat is a fighting game series known for its graphic finishing moves, announced with an emphatic "fatality!" from the game's narrator. When it was introduced to arcades in 1992, it was distinctive for its use of blood spray, which inspired a wave of exploitation games adding blood and gore to their visuals. Mortal Kombat is commonly associated with the violent video games controversy that began in the early 1990s, which led to the creation of the Entertainment Software Ratings Board.
The last Mortal Kombat release by Midway was 2008's Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, which scrubbed out much of the blood and gore in order to receive the T rating expected of a comic-book tie in. A sequence in which The Joker finished a match by firing his pistol's Bang! flag into his foe's temple was removed for this reason. Mortal Kombat returned in 2011 under Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment, and likewise returned to its roots as a no-holds-barred violent video game. Certain strikes and finishers sent the game into a slow-motion x-ray camera, showing visceral internal damage to bones and organs.
Mortal Kombat was refused classification in Australia, effectively banning it from sale. Warner Bros. was unsuccessful in appealing the decision. Germany and South Korea also refused to permit its sale.
ESRB Rating: M, for "Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Partial Nudity, Strong Language."
ESRB Rating Summary:This is a fighting game in which players engage in one-on-one battles against characters from the fantasy-based Mortal Kombat universe. Players compete in a series of combative rounds in order to advance to different matches throughout the game. Players use swords, guns, chains, spikes, and supernatural attacks (e.g., fire, ice, lightning) to defeat a cast of human-like characters. After an opponent is defeated at the end of a match, players have the option to perform finishing moves called 'Fatalities.'
Many of these finishing moves depict over-the-top instances of violence: impalement, bone-crushing body snaps, execution-style gunshots to the head; large blood-splatter effects occur during these sequences, staining characters' bodies and the ground. Several of these exaggerated finishing moves depict characters getting dismembered, ripped or sliced in half, stabbed, set on fire, or set to explode. During the course of the game, female characters sometimes wear revealing outfits that expose large amounts of cleavage; one female fighter is depicted partially nude, covered by a costume of thin cloth strips. Language such as 'f**k' occasionally appears in the dialogue.
Publisher: Rockstar Games Series Began: 1997 (2001 in its modern incarnation.) Latest Release Published:Grand Theft Auto IV, April 29, 2008.
Grand Theft Auto is, without a doubt, the series most referenced in mainstream media discussion of violent video games and the psychological or sociological impacts attributed to them. It originated as a driving game navigating a map from a top-down perspective. Grand Theft Auto III introduced the series as it is currently known, an enormous city that players explore at their leisure, either completing missions stringing together the game's dark, antiheroic main story or causing mayhem at random. That includes violence against innocent bystanders, including, most notoriously, the prostitutes working the game's street corners. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas even included optional missions in which the main character acts as their pimp. All of these depictions have been chastised as glamorizing a criminal lifestyle and encouraging teenagers and young adults to live out violent fantasies in real life.
Though the series has no shortage of defenders, its lowest point was inarguably in 2005, when a user discovered code left inside the game's PC version that showed a minigame in which the protagonist had sex with any of several girlfriends he could date in the game. Though this content was not surfaced in the main game it could be accessed through a modification. Its presence was enough to trigger the ESRB's AO rating, an extreme label rarely applied, much less to any mainstream game. Copies of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas had to be recalled while Rockstar re-released a version of the game with the objectionable content removed. Dan Houser, Rockstar's co-founder considers the controversy more of an attack on the medium of video games, still considered kids' stuff in the mainstream. "The massive social decay that we were supposed to induce hasn't happened," he told The Guardian last month.
Grand Theft Auto V will arrive in the spring of 2013, returning the series to its fictionalized West Coast. For all of the controversy it engenders, the series is an enormous best seller and financial analysts frequently point to its release in analyzing the health of parent company Take-Two Interactive. It is one of the flagship brands of modern video gaming.
ESRB Rating: M, for "Intense Violence, Blood, Strong Language, Strong Sexual Content, Partial Nudity, Use of Drugs and Alcohol."
Predating Mortal Kombat but far less known, Splatterhouse began as a sidescrolling beat-em-up inspired by American slasher flicks like Friday the 13th (its protagonist wears the "Terror Mask," which resembles the hockey mask worn by Friday the 13th's antagonist.) The game had one arcade release before it was ported to home consoles in the early 1990s. Its first console port, for the TurboGrafx-16, carried a tongue-in-cheek warning saying the game was inappropriate for children, "and cowards."
Before 2010, Splatterhouse's most recent console release was Splatterhouse 3 in 1993. A version was released on the Wii's Virtual Console in 2007. Splatterhouse has never reviewed well, making its mention by LaPierre somewhat amusing to knowledgeable gamers.
Splatterhouse's 2010 release, which we called a "massive disappointment," and a "violent, excessively gory brawler," was roundly panned on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. There has been no mention of any sequel or reboot for this series.
ESRB Rating M, for "Blood and Gore, Intense Violence, Nudity, Sexual Themes, Strong Language."
ESRB Rating Summary:This is an action game in which players help a college student named Rick Taylor rescue his kidnapped girlfriend from a deranged doctor. As players explore a haunted mansion, they engage in constant melee-style combat; players use cleavers, chainsaws, machetes, and Rick's bare hands to kill and dismember enemies (e.g., zombies, monsters, demons). Players can also use severed arms and limbs as weapons to attack enemy creatures; injured enemies emit large sprays of blood that stain the ground, surrounding walls, and Rick's body.
Finishing moves represent the most intense instances of violence: Rick tears monsters' limbs and heads from their bodies-accompanied by a gushing sound effect; Rick sometimes reaches into creatures' torsos to remove various organs. Along the way, players can pick up photo fragments that depict topless images of a female character. Completed photos, viewable from the menu screen, are accompanied by suggestive voice-over clips (e.g., 'Just for you, Rick-o. I'm yours and no-one else's' and 'R Rating? When we get home, let's you and I put on our own private NC-17 show.'). Dialogue also contains sexual innuendo (e.g., 'Tell me; how many guys can you beat off at the same time?') and language such as 'a*shole,' 'sh*t,' and 'f**k.'
The wildcard entry in Wayne LaPierre's tirade, Kindergarten Killer is said to have been available online as a flash game for at least 10 years. It last made news in 2008 when a Finnish web site removed the game in response to a mass shooting at a school in that country. Its creator is said to be Gary Short, an 18-year-old from the U.K. at the time. The site where it was originally launched has been inactive since 2005.
The game is a crude, point-and-click target shooter depicting a janitor gone on a shotgun rampage inside a school. Angry cartoon children fire back with firearms of their own, and their wounds spurt blood until they are shot dead.
"It's called Kindergarten Killers," LaPierre said, mistakenly pluralizing the title. "It's been online for 10 years. How come my research staff can find it, and all of yours couldn't ... or didn't want anyone to know you had found it?" Possibly because it was a throwaway experience, not even rising to the level of the much more provocative and much more memorable Super Columbine Massacre. How come video gamers can still find something like that, and all of the NRA's research staff couldn't?
Kindergarten Killer's almost total obscurity, to say nothing of the fact it is a flash game lumped in with four longstanding console series, makes it the most laughable inclusion in the NRA's strange news conference today, severely weakening the NRA's claim that all video games are purposefully and callously violent. As the work of a bored teenager, it is by no means representative of the "shadow industry" LaPierre condemned. Sure, it's awful, and easily accessed by children over a web browser; so is most anything violent, pornographic, or shocking to the conscience.
That is not to say that the games Wayne LaPierre mentioned are wholesome entertainment that can be discussed in polite company. But neither can many of the R-rated action or science-fiction movies and crime thrillers whose themes continue to inspire the most popular video game series.
Holden Miller contributed reporting to this story.
Reports suggested that the National Rifle Association, backed into a corner since a gun massacre last week killed 20 six- and seven-year-olds, would come out swinging at video games and other violent entertainment in a news conference today, and boy, they did not disappoint.
Wayne LaPierre, the NRA's executive vice president, gave a teeth-sucking condemnation of "vicious, violent video games, with names like Bulletstorm, Grand Theft Auto, Mortal Kombat and Splatterhouse."
LaPierre then, as if presenting some undiscovered trump card showing video games' depravity, gestured toward a screen playing a game called "Kindergarten Killer," a flash game that has been online for at least 10 years and last made news in 2008, when a Finnish game site pulled it following a school shooting in that country.
"Isn't fantasizing about killing people as a way to get your kicks really the filthiest form of pornography," LaPierre said.
LaPierre, in a shaking voice throughout the entire news conference, at times sounded like he didn't believe what he had been handed to read. The NRA's public face also blamed the creation of gun-free school zones for giving deranged killers the assurance that they could carry out mass murder against unarmed targets.
He seemed to argue for more armed personnel in school, if not teachers then security guards. "Why is a gun good to protect president or country, but bad when used to protect children in schools?" he asked rhetorically.
Eight years and one month ago, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas released on the PlayStation 2. It begins rather abruptly—C.J. in an airport, saying that after five years on the east coast, it was time to return to San Andreas.
The game's official soundtrack included a DVD of "The Introduction," a 20-minute in-game cinematic explaining all the reasons why Carl Johnson returned. Rockstar this week finally made it public via its Social Club and YouTube (where others had uploaded it before. This one went up on Aug. 27, 2005, four months after the first YouTube video was uploaded.) Here you may see it in full quality, and if you haven't already, take the 20 minutes to do so. For those who have, hey, Sunday afternoons are always good for reruns.
Using official screenshots and stills from the game's trailers, a Polish fan site has done a cracking job comparing the San Andreas of 2004 to the one we'll be getting our hands on in 2013's Grand Theft Auto V.
As you can see there are... more trees. And shinier cars. But one thing I will miss is that old sky. As an avid supporter of the Blue Sky in Games campaign, Rockstar's old ones were a lot more fun to drive around under than their murkier, more contemporary efforts.
You can see some comparison shots above, while the full gallery is below.
Eight-year-old-spoiler: In Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas you can fly to GTA III's Liberty City. You can't explore much of Liberty City but the intent in the 2004 PS2 game was clear: Rockstar's GTA cities are connected, and players should be able to travel between them.
And that's just what Rockstar wants to let us do, someday. Here's Rockstar North chief Leslie Benzies chatting with Digital Trends' Adam Rosenberg on the occasion of the iOS/Android re-release of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City:
"... at some point we would like to have one big world containing all our cities and let the player fly between them and revisit their favorite areas, and in that context reimagining Vice City would be very interesting."
Thumbs up to that idea. And then give us a time machine so we can dial it back to Red Dead Redemption, please.
I shouldn't have to tell any self—respecting gamer to go drop $4.99 on the tenth anniversary edition of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on iOS or Android (once it's live). For those that lack self-respect, go drop $4.99 on the tenth anniversary edition of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. It's better than ever.
Along with the HD graphics and portability, the mobile version of the best game in Rockstar's beloved crime simulator series adds a number of enhancements to make the game worthy of another play-through. It's got enhanced targeting, complete with a tap-to-shoot option that makes shooting people fun. It's got a fully-customizable HUD, allowing players to move and resize interface elements and controls as they please. It's got a chase camera you can adjust by pinching and zooming, and a free-look camera that lets players experience the sights of Vice City from a fresh angle.
The Android version has full controller support. The iOS version supports cloud saves and custom soundtracks, in case you have absolutely no taste at all and don't like the game's 80s soundtrack.
It's everything Vice City on the PlayStation 2 was, only better. I am drowning in happy right now.
Lazlow Jones co-wrote the radio scripts for all the Grand Theft Auto games (save Chinatown Wars, of course) going back to III, and appears as a radio personality in all of the games. He also, evidently, has all of the master copies of the recordings. In his home. Which is on Long Island. Or, well, a barrier island off Long Island.
Using official screenshots and stills from the game's trailers, a Polish fan site has done a cracking job comparing the San Andreas of 2004 to the one we'll be getting our hands on in 2013's Grand Theft Auto V.
![San Andreas Looks Like It's Coming To The PS3 [Update]](http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/187venhwj6s58jpg/medium.jpg "San Andreas Looks Like It's Coming To The PS3 [Update]")
No doubt as savvy marketing in advance of the Grand Theft Auto V, it looks like Rockstar will be re-releasing San Andreas on the PS3.
