Kotaku

OK, Rockstar, But What Would Niko Bellic Really Do?Grand Theft Auto IV protagonist Niko Bellic has some hard choices to make in his Liberty City adventure. Well, you have to make the choices for him.


But what would Niko have done?


That's what a fan of Rockstar Games' 2008 epic asked the company in a recent Q&A on Rockstar's website. With enough spoiler filibustering out of the way, let's get to what they said.


SPOILER ALERT - "Kill or spare Ivan Bytchkov? Kill or spare Cherise Glover? Kill Playboy X or Dwayne Forge? Kill or spare Clarance Little? Kill Francis McReary or Derrick McReary? Kill or spare Darko Brevic?
Take the deal or get revenge? I know what I'd do but I wanna know what [Niko] would do. You designed him so you know him better than I do." – Mike Sean Clifton


Rockstar: That's a very interesting question. The choices that you make in Grand Theft Auto IV while in the shoes of Niko Bellic are completely down to personal preference. Your conscience and curiosity help Niko to make decisions throughout the game, so we really don't have a straight and true path for how the Niko ‘character' would react in life or death situations – it's all down to the individual who plays him, and our hope was to have a fairly even split in all of the choices, so they seemed like real dilemmas. In terms of outcomes (something Niko would not know at the time) there is a ‘best pathway' which is the sort of thing we reveal when we do a tips post, but that is from a pure game design / mechanics perspective as some choices give you more advantages than others, not from the choices Niko might make at the time. Those are up to you.


I killed Playboy. I can't remember what I did with the other choices. What do I think Niko would have done? Not had a care in the world. That guy was a cold-blooded killer and not much fun at comedy clubs.


Asked & Answered: Max Payne 3 and Grand Theft Auto V [Rockstar Games official site]


Kotaku
Earlier this week in Luliang, Shanxi province, a security guard got boozed up and apparently thought, hey, why not carjack someone? So he did that, but crashed the car in a nearby plaza.


Then, he seemed to realize that he needed new wheels and carjacked another vehicle. Police apprehended him shortly thereafter—game over. That's what you get for not checking your Wanted Level!


Drunk Man Hijacks Two Cars, Does Not Get Far [Beijing Cream]


Kotaku

Two New Grand Theft Auto V Screenshots, And They Look WonderfulRockstar games slyly released two new screenshots for Grand Theft Auto V today, tucking them within an engaging Q&A posted on the development studio's official site.


You want more?


It's not clear when we're getting more. Here's what Rockstar says [emphasis added by Kotaku]:


"What is going on with GTAV?" – received via Mouthoff


We are very busy working on the game! Everything is going well, but the game is a huge project. We should have more information and some new assets for you soon.


"Why don't you give us more news?" – received via Mouthoff


As we have said before, we have often had long gaps between asset releases on previous games and will continue to do so in the future. We are sorry if you find this frustrating, but please understand, we don't do this because we ‘don't care about our fans' 'don't respect our fans' 'hate GTA fans etc' – precisely the opposite! We do it because we want to make sure we only release 100% correct information, and because we want to keep plenty back for the actual game release so there are still lots of surprises when you play it. The only things we care about are that you enjoy the experience of actually playing the game and that we release accurate information. We just have not been in a position to show more of the game than the trailer and will not be for a while yet. We did, however, manage to sneak a quick screenshot out for you… it's not much, but we thought it was pretty fun.


....We will try and get some more screens for you soon and then another trailer when we are ready.


Two New Grand Theft Auto V Screenshots, And They Look Wonderful


UPDATE: One more tidbit from Rockstar's Q&A confirms what the game's first trailer implied. We'll be flying planes in GTA V. In response to a question about the omission of planes from GTA IV, Rockstar said: "... we simply could not make an environment big enough for planes to work properly. Fear not, they are returning in what is our biggest open world game to date."


Asked & Answered: Max Payne 3 and Grand Theft Auto V [Official Rockstar Games website]


Just Cause 2

Why Don't Video Game Characters Get More Excited About The Amazing Stuff They Do?I've seen it far too many times. A video game character leaps from the top of a staircase, flying through the air, guns blazing. One enemy drops to the ground, then two, then three! Behind him, a grenade explodes, laying waste to the spot where he was just standing.


Bullets whizz through the air, metal-jacketed death buzzing past like so many hornets. By the time he hits the ground, everyone in the room is dead. He stands up, dusts himself off, and without a word... just keeps on truckin'.


Dude. Not even a word about the fucking amazing stunt you just pulled off?


Sometimes I want to grab video game characters and shake them.


Video game characters rarely seem like they're having a good time. They never seem overly impressed by the incredible odds they're overcoming, the amazing battles they're singlehandedly winning, the ridiculously difficult acrobatics they perform so regularly.


Max Payne, Marcus Fenix, Lara Croft, Rico Rodriguez, the GTA heroes… they rarely if ever seem all that stoked about the incredible moves they execute on a regular, sometimes minute-by-minute basis. Would it kill them to seem at least a little bit impressed by their own badassery?


The scene I described up top was more or less a scene from Max Payne 3, a game in which constant, insane action sequences are always followed by Max brooding to himself about how much of a fuckup he is.


A friend and I were having a laugh the other day over a scene that happens near the middle of the game. Max is sneaking up on some goons in a parking garage, at which point his voice-over sarcastically mocks his "trademark grace" as he knocks over a barrel and gets noticed. Immediately after doing that, he proceeds to do the most hilariously graceful and amazing thing I've ever seen, shooting a valve, grabbing a chain that then HAPPENS to start pulling him up to the ceiling because he shot the random valve, and then mowing down like eight dudes in slow-mo on two separate levels of the garage before landing... and going about his grumpy, hungover day.


If he had ended that sequence with the voiceover, "Okay, maybe I'm not so graceless," I would have been on the floor laughing. Instead, it was just gritty business as usual.


Why Don't Video Game Characters Get More Excited About The Amazing Stuff They Do?


I'm not asking for a constant string of meta-commentary or anything. But would it kill video game characters to just occasionally mention how completely rad the thing they just did was? One of the most fun things in a video game, particularly a cinematic action game, is that sense of "Oh holy eff, I just DID THAT." And yet the characters never share that with us, they grimace and frown, they smell the fart and go on with their lives.


When a character in a game does respond to what just happened, it feels disproportionately refreshing, like a sip of water in a desert. At the end of the amazing collapsing building segment of Uncharted 2, Nathan Drake laughs and says, "We were almost in that!" More recently, in Ghost Recon: Future Soldier, there's an early scene when an insanely powerful airdrop wipes out a horde of advancing soldiers, and the soldier I was controlling wryly muttered, "Well… that worked."


The fact that I laughed at that (pretty dumb) line indicates how much I want someone to acknowledge what's happening on screen. Why don't more games do this kind of thing? Is it simply that the events of a game are so outlandish that writers fear that acknowledging their awesomeness would serve to make them seem silly? I don't think it would. These kinds of video games are supposed to be awesome. It's okay to have some fun with it.


Look, I know. "Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions." In movies, on TV - this kind of stuff happens all the time. A cool badass character does something badass, and by definition he has to act all cool about it. It's what we expect of our cool badasses!


But there are moments, great moments, when that cool veneer cracks—think Neo saying "Woah" or "I know Kung Fu" in The Matrix. In the (fantastic) Disney film Tangled, there is a hysterical scene in which the character Flynn winds up in a sword-fight with Maximus, who is... a horse.


"You should know that this is the strangest thing I've ever done!" Flynn enthusiastically shouts as he parries the attacks of a sword-wielding horse. Ha! That gag and the lines from The Matrix are so great because for a few brief moments, we the audience are let in on the joke. The writers take a moment to tell us that it's okay to be super jazzed about all the awesome stuff happening on screen. I'd love to see more games do that.


I mean, if I single-handedly wiped out an entire platoon of alien soldiers, then hopped onto the side of one of their tanks, fought my way to the cockpit and piloted the thing off a cliff before leaping in slow-mo to safety at the last possible second, I think I'd do what any rational, red-blooded human would do: Look around frantically and shout, "TELL me someone saw that shit!"


Then I'd probably call my mom.


"Mom, you will not believe what I just did. Okay wait, let me back up. There's something you should know about me: Turns out, I AM AWESOME."


Max Payne

And yet it is. This video by Michael Shanks (the same man behind that great Box-Art Brawl video from last week) depicts the high's and lows, mostly lows, of Mr. Max Payne's day-to-day life.


Yes, it's a joke that's been done before. Perhaps too many times. And yet the execution here is pretty damned funny.


(See what I did there, with the "Execution?" Oh, yeah.)


Kotaku
Yes, Rule 34 Apparently Applies to Colorful Japanese Popstars, TooLast summer, teenage fashion blogger Kyary Pamyu Pamyu's popularity exploded with her debut single "PonPonPon". The tune and its colorful video went viral, even hitting well beyond Japanese shores.


While much of the fashion ideas in the "PonPonPon" or in Kyary (or rather, "Carrie" as she sometimes writes) were muted after going viral, the impact was undeniable. And the fashion blogger, who only a year earlier, was appearing in Grand Theft Auto viral vids, became a star. Her lippy snarl and grotesque cuteness were fresh and different. Whenever attractive people hit it big in Japan, they can count on calls from corporate sponsors. Pamyu Pamyu started appearing in an array of ads—from shampoo to pudding.


And whenever attractive people hit it big, they can pretty much count on something else: porno parodies. Rule 34, in full effect.


Seeming to take a page from the viral launch of "PonPonPon", the adult video starring a Pamyu Pamyu doppelganger also kicked off with a viral campaign. (And no, the film is not titled "OhOhOh".) A few weeks ago, a Twitter account for "Catherine Harajuku" started tweeting work safe photos of the self-styled Catherine Harajuku, who appeared to be a nod to Kyary (or "Carrie") and Harajuku, the area of Tokyo where the popstar earned her famous stripes.


Catherine Harajuku did resemble Kyary Pamyu Pamyu somewhat, and the video claimed to be Catherine's debut—something that led Japanese internet sleuths to ask who the heck this Catherine Harajuku lady was? Some quick googling revealed that she's actually an established adult actress who was posting photos of herself dressed as Kyary this past spring.


Those who don't look at the "PonPonPon" video as a fashion manifesto can easily reduce the singer's look to mere artifice. Still, Kyary's popularity does bring Harajuku fashion to a larger audience, even if said audience doesn't get her look, and videos like this are an unsavory marker of her fame and fashion. And this parody means Kyary Pamyu Pamyu has truly made it. So, um, congrats?


Twitterで話題!きゃさりんはらじゅくって誰? [Naver]


(Top photo: Catherine Harajuku | Twitter)
Max Payne
Backhanded Box Quotes: 'Duck Hunt 2012 with Swearing.'Welcome to "Backhanded Box Quotes," a collection of super pissed-off user reviews from people just like you! Whoa, whoa, don't take that personal.



Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor

Released: June 19.


Critic: JabbaTheSlush (Metacritic)
"[T]his is a solid one out of ten."
Score: 1 (out of 10).


Critic: Kadeemluvmusic (Metacritic)
"... [a] bad flavor of a chocolate Call of Duty mud cake."
Score: 0.


Critic: somebody worried (Amazon)
"This review is based off of 4 youtube reviews, and about 8 magazine reviews as I do not own a Kinect."
Score: 1 star.



Max Payne 3 (PC)

Released: June 1.


Critic: diesbildnis (Metacritic)
"[E]ssentially Duck Hunt 2012 with swearing and long cut scenes."
Score: 1.



Gravity Rush

Released: June 12


Critic: ilikeeverything (Metacritic)
"I really like this game because it feels French and I kinda like French things every now and then like French fries. "
Score: 0.


Backhanded Box Quotes will be an occasional feature of Kotaku's Anger Management hour, unless it isn't.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

When Grand Theft Auto Let Iranian Teenagers Do Things They Could Only Dream Of It's a proud part of American mythology that people from all over the world get to come here and pursue their dreams. Navid Khonsari has one of those stories. The Iranian-American used to work at Rockstar Games as cinematic director, where he helped steer the vision on games like The Warriors, Midnight Club II and Bully.


However, for all the best-selling, critically acclaimed games Khonsari worked on, it wasn't until he went back to the Middle East that he really saw the surprising cultural impact of video games.


Khonsari spoke at this week's Games for Change conference about 1979, the real-world political action game that he's making through his iNKstories development studio. That game's set in Iran during the infamous hostage crisis that followed a violent regime change in that country. Part of that game's inspration comes directly from his resume.


During a visit to his homeland six months after Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas was released, Khonsari found himself mobbed by teenagers in the small villager of Gombad after word spread that he'd worked on the PS2 hit.


There's not much retail infrastructure in Iran but that wasn't really an obstacle with regard to getting games. "Iran has no copyright laws," Khonsari explains. "It's all black market. So you can buy a copy of Grand Theft Auto for $1. You can buy anything for $1. And Iranians are hardcore gamers. It's a huge gaming community. What's amazing is that it's not gender-specific. I was talking to girls like 16 years olds who were throwing lines back at me from San Andreas."


It's a given that gamers in Gombad—a small community in Iran's northeast region near the Turkmenistan border—would seize on the opportunity to peer at American culture through the PC version of GTA: SA. But it was the things they enjoyed most that surprised Khonsari.


When Grand Theft Auto Let Iranian Teenagers Do Things They Could Only Dream Of "What was amazing was they weren't necessarily drawn to what the media and the critics always attacked about GTA games. The sex, nudity or the violence… none of that stuff was a big deal to them," he relates. Instead, it was the more mundane parts of San Andreas that resonated.


"They said it was a great venue for them to just listen to music, which is harder for them to do. And they can't just hop into a car and go places, either," he continues. "So they were like, "I just drive around in my car and listen to music. And it's wonderful." They really got into the everyday kind of things you could do in the game, like being able to go and get your hair cut. We put these things in the game because we believe that these are part of our activities in our daily lives. We take for granted that these are part of our activities in our daily lives."


When I mentioned that such a level of personal freedom must seem like a fantasy to players like the ones he met in Gombad, Khonsari agreed. "For them, it's a hyper version of kids who live in the suburbs and what they think the city's like. In this particular situation these guys are going, 'I get to make choices.' And, on top of that, look at the power and strength I have as a woman playing as this character. It's not gender-specific. It's not limited by who I am. It's my journey because I get to control that journey. I might be the shell of this person that I'm playing, which is CJ. But my desire is what's shaping this experience."


"The fact that CJ was black had a huge implication over there, too," offers Khonsari. "Because it wasn't the white character that's being pushed forward. And they're like, "Wow, there's a sense of openness. They've taken their main character and they've made him black. That's amazing."


Khonsari says that his experience in Gombad drove home something he always knew in his gut, which is that games can make foreign countries and cultures feel alive in a way that other mediums can't achieve. I'll have more about how he hopes to do just that for Iran with 1979 tomorrow.


Kotaku

From Skyrim to Mario, No Video Game is Safe From Conan O'BrienConan O'Brien and crew debuted a fresh batch of new video games last night, and I'm not sure which ones I should pick up first. Which sounds better, Super Diabetic Mario Brothers or The Elder Scrolls: Skymall?


I'm all about Grand Theft Auto: Texting While Driving Edition myself, but only because the feature Conan's writers came up with, having messages appear on-screen while you drive, would actually be a pretty nifty way to connect with other characters in a real Grand Theft Auto game. You watching, Rockstar?


Oh, and watch out for the cheap shot at UFC at the end, it's ever-so-slightly not safe for work.



Max Payne

One New Jersey Mob Boss' Insanely Ambitious Plan to Kill Max PayneIn addition to my job here at Kotaku, I work very hard on a bestselling, fictional series of video game novelizations. Last year, I published a gripping, lusty novel based on The Witcher 2. This year, I've been hard at work putting the finishing touches on my next novel based on Max Payne 3, tentatively titled Max Payne 3: The Flesh of Fallen Angels: The Novel.


Would you like to read an excerpt? You would? Okay! Here you go, an excerpt from chapter 9 of the book, in which one New Jersey mob boss hatches an insanely ambitious plan to kill Max. I hope you enjoy it.



"They killed my son! They killed my boy!"


Boss Anthony DeMarco was furious, inconsolable. His son Tony was dead at the hands of some ex-cop deadbeat named Payne. In one instant, the DeMarco family line had been snuffed out, and Anthony had lost a son. Payback was going to be a bitch.


"We are gonna get this guy, this... Payne," DeMarco fumed. "We are going to make him pay, Tommy!"


Tommy Marcotti looked his boss. In his fifteen years serving as the DeMarco's top lieutenant, he'd never seen the old man like this. Boss DeMarco was so furious he was drooling on himself, so mad his hands were shaking.


"Okay, boss," Marcotti said. "We'll put all our boys on it. Let's come up with a battle plan. We've got some intelligence that Payne is visiting his dead wife's grave at a graveyard in Jersey." Marcotti pulled out a overhead map of the vast Jersey graveyard that the DeMarcos kept on hand.


"There may be another guy with him, some guy named Passos. So, two of them. We'll send out Bobby and those two boneheads he hangs out with to take Payne out at his wife's grave."


"What about if he gets past them?" DeMarco asked, his voice still edging into a scream. "Then what?"


"There'll be eight guys at the first part of the cemetery. Then we'll have five more guys backing them up, and Tony B. will be on triple-backup in a car, in case they get through those first guys."

"Take it easy, boss," Marcotti said. "We've got all kinds of contingency plans." He pointed to a spot on the map. "We'll have five guys backing up Bobby's three guys, so there'll be eight guys at the first part of the cemetery. Then we'll have five more guys backing them up, and Tony B. will be on triple-backup in a car, in case they get through those first guys."


"Okay," DeMarco said, "but what if they get by all of those guys?"


"Past the grave is a rotunda," Marcotti explained, tapping a circular shape on the graveyard map. "So, we'll stack up Benny and his boys near stairs leading up to it. Benny's got a huge grenade launcher, and he's got six guys with him with four more for backup. So in addition to the fourteen guys we first sent after Payne, we'll have eleven guys with Benny at the rotunda."


"Twenty-five guys.," DeMarco said, his shoulders loosening a bit. "Keep going."


"We'll have ten more guys pull up behind the rotunda and fan out from there, with five more guys behind them."


"So, a total of forty guys so far?"


"Yeah, give or take."


"I don't want you to underestimate this fucker," said DeMarco, standing up. "He's pretty dangerous."


"We ain't gonna underestimate him," said Marcotti, reassuringly.


"I do have one question," said DeMarco, who seemed reassured. "What's to stop Payne from just running out of the graveyard in a different direction?"


"That won't happen," said Marcotti.


"Okay," said DeMarco, lost in thought. "You've convinced me. Go on."


One New Jersey Mob Boss' Insanely Ambitious Plan to Kill Max Payne


"There's another rotunda after the first one," Marcotti explained, "So we'll send Junior and his boys there. He's got eight guys, all armed to the teeth, so between the nine of them they can probably hold the rotunda. We'll have a backup team of five in place, though, in case something goes wrong."


"After that," he continued, pointing to a building on the map, "there's an approach to a mausoleum. I'm gonna plant Frankie up top with a high-powered sniper rifle, so he can take Payne out if he gets past the fourteen guys at the second rotunda. But just in case, we'll put eight of his boys down in the building below."


"But what if Payne gets past them?" asked DeMarco.


"Well, we'll have three more guys hiding inside the building in case Payne and his friend go inside. Which brings me to the next part of the plan. We'll catch 'em at the Mausoleum and bring them to you, just like you wanted. Piece of cake."


One New Jersey Mob Boss' Insanely Ambitious Plan to Kill Max Payne


"Good," said DeMarco, his eyes widening. "This is the good part. I wanna watch those fuckers beg."


"So," continued Marcotti, "while all our guys were fighting at the grave, and the first rotunda, and the parking lot, and the second rotunda, and the mausoleum, you and me set up the gravesite like you wanted. It'll be real dramatic. Once the boys at the mausoleum capture them, they'll bring them to us there, and you can make them dig their own graves."


Marcotti laughed. "It's gonna be some poetic justice, boss." DeMarco looked pleased.


"Just in case you leave them alone and they somehow escape," Marcotti continued, "we've got another contingency plan." He drew his finger down the map towards the southern end. "We'll have five guys stationed in the parking lot outside of the main building, which is where they'll come if they escape the gravesite. Then, we'll plant some guys in the Morgue beneath the main graveyard building. Seems fittin', no?"


"What seems fittin'?" asked DeMarco.


"The morgue. It's fittin' because if they go to the morgue, they'll die there. Geddit?"


"Wait," said DeMarco. "Why would they go into the morgue? Why wouldn't they just run for it?"


"Stop overthinking this, boss," said Marcotti.


One New Jersey Mob Boss' Insanely Ambitious Plan to Kill Max Payne


"Once they're in the morgue," Marcotti said, "we'll have three guys try to head them off in the operating room. If they make it past those three, they'll probably head into the chapel to make a phone call. That's when we hit 'em with the big guns—we'll send in about fifteen to twenty more guys to take them out."


"So, ninety-four wiseguys to take down these assholes, then," concluded DeMarco, counting on his fingers.


"Yeah, boss," said Marcotti. "It seems like a solid plan to me."


"Maybe," said DeMarco, standing up. "Maybe. Don't forget: This is Max Payne we're talkin' about. He's one tough sonovabitch."


"We pull this off," Marcotti said, allowing a smile onto his face, "and there'll be nothing standing between us and the Punchinellos."


"Easy now," said DeMarco. "We're just one family. We ain't the goddam National Guard."



Will the DeMarcos emerge victorious? Will Max and Passos somehow survive the attack and live to fight (and fight, and fight) another day? Will Max Payne's enemies ever run out of dudes for him to shoot? Fine out in the next chapter of Max Payne 3: The Flesh of Fallen Angels: The Novel. Maybe. Or maybe not.


...