Wielding the almighty Heart-Seeking Bow, Coronacht, I weave with godlike alacrity between the attacks of my foes, line up the shot, release at just the right moment, and – pop! – they dissolve with a sigh back into the underworld from whence they came. I’m clearing out rooms in record-breaking time, and it’s a good thing too, because the infernal contract I signed with my father, Lord Hades, means if I spend too long in any particular region of the underworld then there will be swift and painful consequences.
And then I dash into another flame-filled area of Asphodel, and I’m halted in my tracks. Any notion of haste falls out of my mind. Because there is Eurydice in her chambers, singing her beautiful, haunting song. And, like every other time I’ve come across this particular room in Hades, I stay still and listen until the song is over before continuing in my quest to escape. I don’t want her to think I’m being rude, after all.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons may only be on Switch, but that will not stop me from finding ways to talk about it in relation to my fave PC games. We’ve already seen loads of the adorable mashups of Isabelle and Doom Guy, frolicking amongst fields of demons, and now I want to show you the cutest piece of Hades fan art where someone has drawn all the gods as cartoon-y Animal Crossing Villagers.
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Hell is other people, wrote Jean-Paul Satre. But also my favourite level in Doom. He was a smart man, and he probably lives in hell now, on account of all the atheism. But listen, hell doesn t seem that bad. Bit hot. Bit demonic. You could do a lot worse than a trip to the underworld, is what I m saying, and as luck would have it, we have the perfect means for you to go there without singeing your eyebrows or being dunked in a toxic lake for eternity. That s right: videogames. It s always videogames. Here are the 10 best hells you can visit on PC.
Grecian roguelike Hades has taken one more step towards leaving early access hell. The Nighty Night update came out last night, unleashing some new spikey gloves, a trip to a library, and a tiny, evil, rat. There’s loads more besides, but that new weapon, the Twin Fists of Malphon, is the highlight. I am looking forward to punching small malevolent rodents.
It took me a couple dozen attempts to escape hell in Supergiant Games early access roguelite Hades. Once I succeeded I thought I might give it a break; return when there were new updates. But it absolutely has its claws in me, which is how I found out that mucking about and losing is actually way better than trying to win.