I have an armed badger on my head. He’s a mocking crest that I added to my helmet to stand out in battle, so that the last thing opponents would see when they died was a wobbling, poleaxe-wielding melinae of doom. I call him my badger of dishonour.

War of the Roses, Fatshark’s third-person multiplayer knight lark, is a funny, well-crafted, limited little game where you fight for the right to make your knight look as imposing, or as ridiculous, as you can.

You begin as a footman for the houses York or Lancaster, fighting conquest or team deathmatch versions of the battles that split the Plantagenets. They’re fought in fields and villages, with swords, axes and longstaffs. It’s mostly melee, with bows for those who can’t do without crosshairs.



The sword-wielding, shield-toting everyman of the war, the footman, introduces you to a game of slow, tactical battles in the mud. Sword blows are primed for power and angled according to a pre-strike mouse swing. They can be blocked with a shield, or parried with a blade and countered if you’re swift enough.

The action sits somewhere between the loose lunges of Skyrim and the deft deliverance of Dark Messiah: slightly spammy, but with moments of lovingly captured brutality and emergent silliness. When I was defeated in one fight, as the enemy stood over me to perform his execution he was killed. I was revived and given the honour of executing him instead, which I took. Then I took an arrow in the knee (really) and hit the ground again.

Each hit brings XP and gold (executions and revivals drop huge amounts). It’s generous: you’ll easily have enough to unlock other roles and plenty of perks and armour within a day’s play. Even though the predefined knights are well-balanced, the custom knight is something to aim for.



Building your own means tweaking everything. A tweaked crossbowman doesn’t just carry a bow. He has a steel-spanned, push-levered crossbow fitted with armour-piercing arrows. A sword can be made of different steels and grinds, and you can add one of three fighting styles. While the weapons are balanced with negatives (slower, weaker), selecting from the pile of perks could speed up your reload, add more arrows, or let you see enemy and friendly health.

Some concerns did rust up my armour: there’s no minimap, which meant some wandering to find the fights during team deathmatch, and it can be tough figuring out how much life you have left in you. There is no singleplayer, just bot-based training skirmishes. And with such easily bought perks, you’ll see everything War of the Roses has to offer in the first day – by day two, you’re no longer in unlock heaven, and the battlegrounds will already feel familiar. But it’s a nice change of pace to our current gun culture.

Apparently, the just released medieval face-stabbing simulator War of the Roses is doing pretty well, as Paradox Interactive has formed a permanent team to develop future content for the franchise. “The game’s reception from players has exceeded expectations and we are truly grateful for the continued support from the community," Executive Producer Gordon Van Dyke said in a press release. "We’ll continue to improve the game and add substantial content for all players.”

War of the Roses already offers lots of customization with weapons and perks, but there is plenty of room for expansion. Armor, in particular, could use some more fleshing out. There aren't that many options, and the ones that are available don't include all of the sub-options that you get with weapons. More maps and mounted/ranged combat options would also be nice.

In the meantime, if you're having trouble enjoying the existing content on account of repeatedly being killed or maimed, check out our seven tips to make you a beast on the battlefield.

I don't want to brag, but... okay, I do want to brag. I'm good at War of the Roses. This came as a shock seeing how mediocre I usually am at shooters and deathmatch-type games in general. For those of you who might not be very proficient at simulated medieval maiming, I've compiled some tips to help you lead your chosen house to glory.

Which had better be York. York is the correct answer.

1. The starter classes suck
There really isn't any way around this, but it's true. Especially the footman, which is your only option when you first start the game. He comes equipped stock with a sword that can't really do pig droppings to anyone in plate armor unless you can manage to jab them in the eyes, which takes a lot of practice. Until you unlock the Foot Knight (and subsequently, the ability to make a custom class), go for weaker targets like bowmen. Trying your hand against those clanking behemoths on the front lines is only going to frustrate you.



2. Make archers hate you
While you're moving in to slice up some ranged foes with your weaksauce starter sword, you may notice that they have a tendency to fill you with arrows. This is a good time to learn how to make them curse your very name, which will come in handy even when you do unlock better equipment down the line. First, never run out across a big, open field - especially one with buildings overlooking it. Always try to make sure you're not in the same open "lane" for more than a couple seconds, using buildings, walls, and tress to cover your advance. Remember that you can press Ctrl to crouch behind low objects.

When you do have to cross open ground, or you're closing in for the kill, run in an unpredictable zig-zag pattern to throw off the enemy's aim. Once you get in close enough, the fight is practically over. The sword most archers and crossbowmen carry is somehow even worse than the one you have.

3. Perk up
Once you unlock a custom class (which are really the core of the game), you should buy up your perks before anything else. I recommend Shield Breaker and Break Block, as it can be pretty hard to kill shield-bearers without them.



4. Axes are really good, but also really hard to use
My weapon of choice, once unlocked, is the two-handed Galloglaigh Axe. It has enough power, especially once you upgrade it with the right fighting style and components, to make most armor a joke. Which is good, as heavy plate is pretty dominant on most servers right now. The only problem is that power requires you to be extra precise, as only hitting with the head of the axe does damage. If you're pressed right up against someone, you'll just whack them with the haft.

In Single Player training, you can usually find some bots that are standing still. Try out some different swing heights and standing distances to find the "sweet spot" for maximum killosity.

5. Armor is overrated
A lot of people are wearing plate right now, and that's fine. It'll protect you from most one-handed weapons, but a skilled player with the right two-hander, or basically any moderately skilled archer, can punch right through it. So I say, leave it at home. Wear the least encumbering gear you've unlocked, and zip around killing people with little to no regard for your own safety. Yes, this will make you more vulnerable to otherwise laughable things like the archer default sword, but if they can kill you with that glorified butter knife faster that you can cut them completely in half with your giant axe, you're doing something wrong that has nothing to do with the armor you're wearing.

If you don't believe me, ask someone from the beta press events about the annoying guy in the peasant robes. They'll know which one you mean.



6. Heal your teammates... and yourself
It is highly dishonorable to walk right over a comrade in arms who is bleeding out when it only takes you about four seconds to get them back into the fight. They might save your life a few seconds from now. Also, if you have any damage on you whatsoever and there are no enemies nearby, duck somewhere out of archer-sight and patch yourself up. Even if you've only taken a small amount of damage, that could be the difference.

7. Be bold, be chaotic, fear nothing
One who goes into battle hoping to live will surely die, while one who goes into battle expecting to die will emerge victorious. Pretty sure Sun Tzu said that. Or it could have been Zero from Borderlands. I'm not entirely sure. A lot of the frantic melee combat in War of the Roses is about psyching your opponents out. You want them to be afraid of you, and be under the impression that you don't give a baron's chamberpot about them. Move around a lot, take swings even when your timing isn't perfect, and don't seem overly defensive. When you can, flank from unexpected angles.

Now get out there and kill something!