You may have heard that <a href="http://blog.reddit.com/2013/04/reddit-buys-team-fortress-2.html">Reddit bought Team Fortress 2 today</a>. We can officially confirm that this is in fact the case. So if any Reddit staffers are reading this: Hi, boss! We're working pretty hard over here. Well, back to work.

Okay, the Reddit guys've probably stopped reading by now, so we can be square with you: Reddit only <i>thinks</i> it bought us, because that's what we told them when we met them over the weekend to sign all the legal documents. What they <i>don't</i> know is that when a bird flew into a window during the signing and everybody on the TF2 team got scared and some of us started crying, that was a little something we in the business world call <i>a distraction.</i>

The "bird" that "flew" into the window? Not a bird at all. It was a squirrel launched from a t-shirt cannon by one of our guys across the street. The part where we got "scared"? Daniel Day Lewis-level method acting by the TF2 team. The part where some of us started "crying"? That was because the sound of the squirrel hitting the glass was a lot louder than we thought it would be and was legitimately scary. So technically real, but still under the umbrella of our overall deception.

Once the Reddit guys were thoroughly distracted, we took advantage of them awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with us and switched the legal documents for <i>new</i> documents. Documents that said <b>we actually secretly bought them.</b> Business.

In celebration of our Reddit purchase, we're going to add some new Reddit-themed items to the game. There's also plenty of neat stuff we're working on and would love to tease. But realistically, because today is the International Day of Foolishness, anything we told you guys would just be met with suspicion. And when have we ever trolled our community? Never, that's when. Okay, maybe that <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=2391">one time</a>.

You may have heard that Reddit bought Team Fortress 2 today. We can officially confirm that this is in fact the case. So if any Reddit staffers are reading this: Hi, boss! We're working pretty hard over here. Well, back to work.

Okay, the Reddit guys've probably stopped reading by now, so we can be square with you: Reddit only thinks it bought us, because that's what we told them when we met them over the weekend to sign all the legal documents. What they don't know is that when a bird flew into a window during the signing and everybody on the TF2 team got scared and some of us started crying, that was a little something we in the business world call a distraction.

The "bird" that "flew" into the window? Not a bird at all. It was a squirrel launched from a t-shirt cannon by one of our guys across the street. The part where we got "scared"? Daniel Day Lewis-level method acting by the TF2 team. The part where some of us started "crying"? That was because the sound of the squirrel hitting the glass was a lot louder than we thought it would be and was legitimately scary. So technically real, but still under the umbrella of our overall deception.

Once the Reddit guys were thoroughly distracted, we took advantage of them awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with us and switched the legal documents for new documents. Documents that said we actually secretly bought them. Business.

In celebration of our Reddit purchase, we're going to add some new Reddit-themed items to the game. There's also plenty of neat stuff we're working on and would love to tease. But realistically, because today is the International Day of Foolishness, anything we told you guys would just be met with suspicion. And when have we ever trolled our community? Never, that's when. Okay, maybe that one time.

<a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/linux/"><img src="http://www.teamfortress.com/images/posts/blog_linux.jpg" width="100%" border="0"></a>

In 1991, Linus Torvalds left a ham sandwich in his bathroom, and when he came back two weeks later, discovered that he'd accidentally invented penicillin and Linux. Just think what would have happened if Linus Torvaldt hadn’t waited two weeks to go to the bathroom. It’s thanks to his enormous digestive tract that we have Linux today.

But of course, anybody who’s gone to history class knows that story. What’s less well known is Linus Torvalds’ last words as he lay dying from septic necrosis: “I decree Linux free to all, with no rules! Save one,” he whispered, his voice becoming raspy and Sarumanesque. “NEVER, EVER allow Team Fortress 2 on my precious operating system! Keep it secret from them! Keep it safe!” (Note: start playing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1Cckq3MPDo" target="_blank">this</a> now.)

And so TF2 fell into shadow. Or so Linux Torvalduman thought. Luckily a band of hobbits snuck past his ghostly burning eye-building and did something important, and wept and cradled each other and swore oaths of fealty, and there was some lava and, anyway, <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/linux/">Team Fortress 2 is now on Linux and we're giving away items to anybody who tries it,</a> bringing to a close this epic trilogy of paragraphs.

<p align="center"><img src="http://media.steampowered.com/steam/news/9955/theend.png"></p>

In 1991, Linus Torvalds left a ham sandwich in his bathroom, and when he came back two weeks later, discovered that he'd accidentally invented penicillin and Linux. Just think what would have happened if Linus Torvaldt hadn’t waited two weeks to go to the bathroom. It’s thanks to his enormous digestive tract that we have Linux today.

But of course, anybody who’s gone to history class knows that story. What’s less well known is Linus Torvalds’ last words as he lay dying from septic necrosis: “I decree Linux free to all, with no rules! Save one,” he whispered, his voice becoming raspy and Sarumanesque. “NEVER, EVER allow Team Fortress 2 on my precious operating system! Keep it secret from them! Keep it safe!” (Note: start playing this now.)

And so TF2 fell into shadow. Or so Linux Torvalduman thought. Luckily a band of hobbits snuck past his ghostly burning eye-building and did something important, and wept and cradled each other and swore oaths of fealty, and there was some lava and, anyway, Team Fortress 2 is now on Linux and we're giving away items to anybody who tries it, bringing to a close this epic trilogy of paragraphs.

<a href="http://media.steampowered.com/steam/news/9825/Demo_and_Pyro_2.jpg"><img src="http://media.steampowered.com/steam/news/9825/Demo_and_Pyro_2_mast.jpg" width="100%" border="0"></a>

Hey, Scout superfans! Scout here. Some doll-makin' company called NECA told us they were gonna make action figures based on the <i>best, most popular team member in TF2.</i> Well, I just opened the box they sent us, and not to tell NECA their business, but MAN these two dolls do not look <a href="http://media.steampowered.com/steam/news/9825/Demo2_RGB.jpg">anything</a> <a href="http://media.steampowered.com/steam/news/9825/pyro2_RGB.jpg">like me</a>.

Don't get me wrong, logically they GOTTA be ME. Right? I just dunno why they didn't start with my traditional outfit, or at the very least Scuba Scout or Kung Fu Fortress Scout or whatever. I guess they're tryin' the most obscure variants first to whet your appetite for the good ol' Classic version.

Still, the way I see it, <a href="http://store.valvesoftware.com/product.php?i=FTF202">Chubby Firefighter Scout</a> and for some reason <a href="http://store.valvesoftware.com/product.php?i=FTF204">One-Eyed Black Scout</a> are better than no Scout at all. So be sure to hit up your favorite retail establishments (Toys 'R' Us, FYE and Hastings) or online (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/NECA-Series-Fortress-Deluxe-Action/dp/B009V0NS2C/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359421725&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Amazon</a> and the <a href="http://store.valvesoftware.com/index.php?t=2&g=7" target="_blank">Valve Store</a>) because these odd-lookin' Scout dolls are gonna sell like odd-lookin' hotcakes.

<b><i>—Scout</i></b>

Hey, Scout superfans! Scout here. Some doll-makin' company called NECA told us they were gonna make action figures based on the best, most popular team member in TF2. Well, I just opened the box they sent us, and not to tell NECA their business, but MAN these two dolls do not look anything like me.

Don't get me wrong, logically they GOTTA be ME. Right? I just dunno why they didn't start with my traditional outfit, or at the very least Scuba Scout or Kung Fu Fortress Scout or whatever. I guess they're tryin' the most obscure variants first to whet your appetite for the good ol' Classic version.

Still, the way I see it, Chubby Firefighter Scout and for some reason One-Eyed Black Scout are better than no Scout at all. So be sure to hit up your favorite retail establishments (Toys 'R' Us, FYE and Hastings) or online (Amazon and the Valve Store) because these odd-lookin' Scout dolls are gonna sell like odd-lookin' hotcakes.

—Scout

<a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=9714"><img src="http://media.steampowered.com/steam/news/9714/saxlettermayo.png" width="100%" border="0"></a>

A letter from Saxton Hale has been posted to the TF2 blog. <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=9714">Click here</a> to read it.

A letter from Saxton Hale has been posted to the TF2 blog. Click here to read it.

<a href="http://store.tf2.com/?hidecarousel=1&appid=440#cat=1194199205&p=2"><img src="http://media.steampowered.com/steam/news/9661/stamptaunteffect.jpg?t=1356638708" width="100%" border="0"></a>

Though we think we’ve done a good job rewarding community contributors who make cosmetics and weapons, we could definitely do more for TF’s diligent, underappreciated map makers. With that in mind, we’re trying two new approaches to the problem.

<b>Map Stamp Improvements</b>

After taunting in a community map that you’ve contributed to, you now leave behind a trail of large stamps. The more you contribute, the longer the trail!

We’re now also tracking hours played in each map. In the “Maps” section of the in-game Mann Co. Store, you can see how many hours you’ve played each community map and how many times you’ve contributed to it. Plus, occasionally, on check out, you’ll be gently reminded that it might be nice to add a stamp to your cart for a map that you’ve played frequently but haven’t contributed much to. After you’ve seen this reminder once, you can have it show other map stamp suggestions by checking the “Support Community Map Mapers” box near the “check out” button.

<b>Map-Specific Strange Filters</b>

Sold in the store, these new filters let you set your strange weapons to only track events on specific community maps. For instance, if you only care about kills on “Yukon”, you can change the filter on your shotgun to just capture that. When filtering stats for a weapon, you’ll also get a custom rank modifier. So, in the aforementioned “Yukon” example, you’d now have a “Strange Canadian Shotgun”. The goal is to give players who really like specific community maps a way to both track their stats on those maps and broadcast their interest even when they’re playing on other levels.

Note that in both cases, 100% of the revenue (minus net taxes) goes to the contributor, so let’s get out there and support our map makers!

Though we think we’ve done a good job rewarding community contributors who make cosmetics and weapons, we could definitely do more for TF’s diligent, underappreciated map makers. With that in mind, we’re trying two new approaches to the problem.

Map Stamp Improvements

After taunting in a community map that you’ve contributed to, you now leave behind a trail of large stamps. The more you contribute, the longer the trail!

We’re now also tracking hours played in each map. In the “Maps” section of the in-game Mann Co. Store, you can see how many hours you’ve played each community map and how many times you’ve contributed to it. Plus, occasionally, on check out, you’ll be gently reminded that it might be nice to add a stamp to your cart for a map that you’ve played frequently but haven’t contributed much to. After you’ve seen this reminder once, you can have it show other map stamp suggestions by checking the “Support Community Map Mapers” box near the “check out” button.

Map-Specific Strange Filters

Sold in the store, these new filters let you set your strange weapons to only track events on specific community maps. For instance, if you only care about kills on “Yukon”, you can change the filter on your shotgun to just capture that. When filtering stats for a weapon, you’ll also get a custom rank modifier. So, in the aforementioned “Yukon” example, you’d now have a “Strange Canadian Shotgun”. The goal is to give players who really like specific community maps a way to both track their stats on those maps and broadcast their interest even when they’re playing on other levels.

Note that in both cases, 100% of the revenue (minus net taxes) goes to the contributor, so let’s get out there and support our map makers!