| Language: |
EULA
You are allowed to play The Way of the Badass, a game created by Jay Geis (a.k.a. The Golden Knight), which will from here on be referred to as "the game". There is NO LIMIT to the number of computers you are allowed to install the game onto, the number of playthroughs you are permitted, or the number of friends you decide to distribute this game to. You are allowed to play this game "always OFFLINE" if you prefer. You are allowed to review or criticize the game, privately or publicly, and you may even send those reviews and criticisms directly to The Golden Knight. You are allowed to record your playthroughs and distribute them across the publicly visible Internet. You are allowed to make fun of Jay Geis himself, whether directly or indirectly, and you are allowed to make fun of any of his fictional characters as well as any of said characters' disabilities. These permissions are set to never expire, and unless the bad guys have won, your rights and FREEDOMS are protected beyond the theoretical end of the universe. "Defiance of censorship" is the most important theme and moral of the game.
You are NOT ALLOWED to obnoxiously or relentlessly pester The Golden Knight, nor are you allowed to lie about being interested in dating him (honest requests must be made by a cisgender adult human female or cisgender human female of legal age depending on state or international laws regarding teens; all others will be immediately declined). You are not allowed to take credit for the creation of the game or the franchise that the game entails, though you ARE allowed to take credit for any modifications you inflict upon the game, regardless of the quality of those modifications. If you do modify the game, do not expect any technical support; The Golden Knight is still very new to game development and the series of skills that go into such computer science, and while you have the permission to modify the game, that does not mean the game is INTENDED to be modified.
You are NOT ALLOWED to go to court regarding the game in ANY manner, as there is also nothing to go to court ABOUT! Besides, that would be a massive loss of money, time, and mental well-being for all parties involved, specifically including you the End User as well as The Golden Knight.
This is a "zero-dollar-budget" project, meaning the price tag to experience the game will be FREE! From now until forever and beyond, if you have spent ANY kind of money before playing the game, you have been robbed and scammed! Please report this to any applicable credit or banking agencies. The game has themes of defiance, and the inhumane extremes of capitalism are one of the targets for the satirical commentary driving the creation of the game.
You also agree that either you are at least 18 years old, or you can reasonably convince a stranger that you are. There will be no crackdown on you if you lie, yet if other forces catch you, you're on your own. The Golden Knight will not be held liable for any and all of your own illegal shenanigans, not even if the game inspired you to pursue those troublesome courses of action. You agree that you will NOT be a PUSSY, as you also understand that the game is a fictional work of satire.
The Golden Knight promises to bring you ample warning about any and all sensitive content, and so will not be held responsible for any acts of idiocy. Freedom of speech is meant to be sacred, and The Golden Knight will do every act realistically possible to protect your opinions, even if you are a literal Nazi WWII veteran who worked in a concentration camp for the SS and lived to tell the tale in 2021 and beyond. We tolerate the intolerant, but PLEASE don't go overboard! Moderation should NOT equal censorship!
If you violate any of these terms, you agree to sell your soul to either The Devil or The Golden Knight, whichever you prefer. The Golden Knight will not be held liable or responsible for any self-inflicted injuries, be they physical and/or mental in nature, up to and including suicide.
For further inquiries, you may use any online channels to reach out to The Golden Knight, and a response should come within one real week. If no response comes after that amount of time, either 1) The Golden Knight is taking an extended vacation, 2) The Golden Knight has determined your message was not worthy of a reply, 3) the astronomically unlikely circumstance happened where the popularity of The Golden Knight would have skyrocketed and so answering hundreds or thousands of fan mail (or hate mail) takes a lot longer than one real week for a single human, or 4) The Golden Knight is DEAD! If The Golden Knight is confirmed DEAD, you are encouraged (though not legally obligated) to sing the "You Are Dead" song.
This document is intended as a parody AND satire of legalese as well as the prevalence of idiocy which makes the existence of lawyers a necessity. I hope you laughed as much as I did when I was writing this. In all seriousness, please enjoy the fruits of my labor!
Semper Bellum!
Jay
You are allowed to play The Way of the Badass, a game created by Jay Geis (a.k.a. The Golden Knight), which will from here on be referred to as "the game". There is NO LIMIT to the number of computers you are allowed to install the game onto, the number of playthroughs you are permitted, or the number of friends you decide to distribute this game to. You are allowed to play this game "always OFFLINE" if you prefer. You are allowed to review or criticize the game, privately or publicly, and you may even send those reviews and criticisms directly to The Golden Knight. You are allowed to record your playthroughs and distribute them across the publicly visible Internet. You are allowed to make fun of Jay Geis himself, whether directly or indirectly, and you are allowed to make fun of any of his fictional characters as well as any of said characters' disabilities. These permissions are set to never expire, and unless the bad guys have won, your rights and FREEDOMS are protected beyond the theoretical end of the universe. "Defiance of censorship" is the most important theme and moral of the game.
You are NOT ALLOWED to obnoxiously or relentlessly pester The Golden Knight, nor are you allowed to lie about being interested in dating him (honest requests must be made by a cisgender adult human female or cisgender human female of legal age depending on state or international laws regarding teens; all others will be immediately declined). You are not allowed to take credit for the creation of the game or the franchise that the game entails, though you ARE allowed to take credit for any modifications you inflict upon the game, regardless of the quality of those modifications. If you do modify the game, do not expect any technical support; The Golden Knight is still very new to game development and the series of skills that go into such computer science, and while you have the permission to modify the game, that does not mean the game is INTENDED to be modified.
You are NOT ALLOWED to go to court regarding the game in ANY manner, as there is also nothing to go to court ABOUT! Besides, that would be a massive loss of money, time, and mental well-being for all parties involved, specifically including you the End User as well as The Golden Knight.
This is a "zero-dollar-budget" project, meaning the price tag to experience the game will be FREE! From now until forever and beyond, if you have spent ANY kind of money before playing the game, you have been robbed and scammed! Please report this to any applicable credit or banking agencies. The game has themes of defiance, and the inhumane extremes of capitalism are one of the targets for the satirical commentary driving the creation of the game.
You also agree that either you are at least 18 years old, or you can reasonably convince a stranger that you are. There will be no crackdown on you if you lie, yet if other forces catch you, you're on your own. The Golden Knight will not be held liable for any and all of your own illegal shenanigans, not even if the game inspired you to pursue those troublesome courses of action. You agree that you will NOT be a PUSSY, as you also understand that the game is a fictional work of satire.
The Golden Knight promises to bring you ample warning about any and all sensitive content, and so will not be held responsible for any acts of idiocy. Freedom of speech is meant to be sacred, and The Golden Knight will do every act realistically possible to protect your opinions, even if you are a literal Nazi WWII veteran who worked in a concentration camp for the SS and lived to tell the tale in 2021 and beyond. We tolerate the intolerant, but PLEASE don't go overboard! Moderation should NOT equal censorship!
If you violate any of these terms, you agree to sell your soul to either The Devil or The Golden Knight, whichever you prefer. The Golden Knight will not be held liable or responsible for any self-inflicted injuries, be they physical and/or mental in nature, up to and including suicide.
For further inquiries, you may use any online channels to reach out to The Golden Knight, and a response should come within one real week. If no response comes after that amount of time, either 1) The Golden Knight is taking an extended vacation, 2) The Golden Knight has determined your message was not worthy of a reply, 3) the astronomically unlikely circumstance happened where the popularity of The Golden Knight would have skyrocketed and so answering hundreds or thousands of fan mail (or hate mail) takes a lot longer than one real week for a single human, or 4) The Golden Knight is DEAD! If The Golden Knight is confirmed DEAD, you are encouraged (though not legally obligated) to sing the "You Are Dead" song.
This document is intended as a parody AND satire of legalese as well as the prevalence of idiocy which makes the existence of lawyers a necessity. I hope you laughed as much as I did when I was writing this. In all seriousness, please enjoy the fruits of my labor!
Semper Bellum!
Jay