A day later, the war rages on—the kill tally is, quite literally, in the millions, and the forums are alive with the sounds of people having good, friendly fun while hurling bitter, teary-eyed recrimination at one another.

In the sixteen hours since war was declared between the Demoman and the Soldier, a whopping 2,681,005 kills (and counting) have been tallied. That's bloody astonishing! And it's all thanks to you! You should all be proud of yourselves!

So: how is the War update different from our other class updates?

In many ways, it's not. Like any other class update, the War update will reveal three new weapons each for the Demoman and Soldier throughout the week, as well as some maps, achievements, and surprises, right up until the day of release, when everything we've been teasing goes live.

Friendship ends in one day.

TF2maps.net's Payload Race & A/D CTF Contest

What happens when you give some TF2 mappers six months to make a map? What happens if that map is payload race or a resurrected Team Fortress Classic game mode, Attack/Defend CTF? TF2maps.net decided to find out. Take 'em for a spin and place your votes!

Those of you who pre-ordered Left 4 Dead 2 (PC)on Steam or at participating retailers now have exclusive access to the momentous event they said would never happen. For the first time in history, two separate Valve universes collide. That's right: it's a Left 4 Dead/Team Fortress crossover! This is not fan fiction! This is not a dream sequence! The characters from Team Fortress 2 will team-up with Bill's hat from Left 4 Dead 1!

The good news is that yesterday's $2.50 sale saved the company. The bad news for our bean counters is that, as a "thank you" from all of us on the TF team, we're rolling back prices like it's Thursday. That's right — Team Fortress 2 is BACK ON SALE at its original, company-busting Thursday Super Sale of the Century price of just $2.49! But only until 1:00pm PDT! And this is the last time we're doing this! There will be no more sales!

Remember yesterday when Team Fortress 2 was on sale for the ridiculous, mathematically-basically-zero price of $2.49? According to the bean counters, we're now broke. Man, what were we thinking? Anyway, in a desperate attempt to move some units, make up the shortfall, and save the company, TEAM FORTRESS 2 IS ON SALE FOR $2.50 UNTIL 7PM PDT! Pennies from Heaven!

The Powers That Be have instructed me to pen another dispatch for you unfortunates. How many goddamn words do you people need? In my day you wrote just enough words to convey meaning: "Secure that damn hill." "I will have more sausages." "This man spoke trash and I strangled him." Today's writing is complicated and has to mean two things at the same time, or it won't win writing awards. Double intendreys. Metafores. If I meet the Billy Shakespeare who came up with that nancy-assed garbage, I will bury my war-foot so far up his ass it will be a foot and a half up his ass.

From now until 2:00pm PDT, Team Fortress will be available on Steam for the horrifyingly (to our accountants) low price of $2.49! What else can you buy for that price? That's not a rhetorical question, we're interested in all the things we can buy once those $2.49s start rolling in.

Robin "Twofortyninenaire" Walker Get Team Fortress 2 for yourself or treat a friend.