This is not a test blog post! You are not dreaming! This is actually happening! Go get it! There is nothing more to say! We’re still talking! Amazingly, you’re still reading! This is getting weird! Well, we’re going to end this blog post now! You can keep reading it if you want, we guess, but we’re going to stop writing! Okay, we’re still writing! And you’re still reading. You don’t feel remorse or fear or eye strain and you will never, ever give up until all these words are read! You are the greatest reader of ALL TIME and this is the “300” of reading! Only instead of getting killed by Persians, we’re going to suggest you simply go check out the brand new, incredibly convenient <a href="http://store.teamfortress.com/">Mann Co. Online Store</a>. There’s a bunch of words there that need reading. Plus pictures.
That's right, December 25th is almost here, and that means the Smissmas season is once again upon us. Now we know some people will be celebrating a different holiday next Tuesday, and for all of <i>you</i>, let us be the first to say: Happy Constitution Day, China! But regardless of what event you're planning to honor, whether it's Quaid-e-Azam's Day, the 1837 Battle of Okeechobee, or <i>Star Trek: Deep Space Nine</i> producer Rick Berman's sixty-sixth birthday, rest assured that, on the inside, we're all celebrating the same thing. And that thing is Smissmas. Because it's the best holiday. Need proof? <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/mechaupdate">Check out all the new stuff we're shipping</a> <strong><i>soon</i></strong> in a joyful, dangerous explosion of Smissmas updating.
What's this? Adult Swim gear for Team Fortress? It's true! Scout sent away for a Monarch Henchboy costume ages ago and we can’t wait to see him die in it. Our bet is that he’ll get his blood punched out of him by Heavy. Heavy’s been begging for a chance to kill someone in his new Tennessee Top Hat.
Soon you’ll be able to represent your Adult Swim classics with Team Fortress versions of the Monarch’s Henchmen, Dr. Rockzo, Carl, and Brock Samson. We’re thinking now would be a great time to try out the <a href="http://www.sourcefilmmaker.com/"> Source Filmmaker</a> and recreate some of your favorite Adult Swim moments.
As part of our ongoing efforts to gradually phase out all Earth money in favor of Team Fortress hats, we're kicking off the TF2-only beta of our new Steam Community Market! The Market should improve trading in every way: People looking for specific items will be able to locate them faster, folks looking to sell items will find the process a lot more efficient, and best of all, we've made it easier for everybody to translate playing TF2 into buying games on Steam.
It probably wouldn't surprise you to learn that a professional assassin like myself tends to be... <i>discrete</i> about things. We keep to the shadows. We <i>avoid</i> the spotlight. We don't host bloody dinner parties, is my point, and we don't make <b>big bloody statues in effigy to our bloody selves.</b>
Well, nobody bothered to tell the folks at Gaming Heads, since they only went ahead and turned me into a <b><a href="http://www.gamingheads.com/newsletters/0540569cf39d0ee1ada21d70ca198e780b.html">fourteen-inch-tall embarrassment to professionals everywhere.</a></b> Two months ago Saxton Hale showed up at my door with a clipboard, a pen, and some girl he claimed was his niece, asking me to pledge five dollars for a charity walk. I wish I'd read the fine print, since Mann Co. now owns my likeness rights until the year 7039.
Anyway, the statue's out now, so if your daughter already has dolls that cry and soil themselves, why not buy her one that kills people for money? Give her a career goal. Because I guarantee you wetting your pants is not a paying job.
That not exciting enough for you? Well, Spike TV is also picking the best game of the <i>decade</i>. And guess what game is nominated. Did you guess TF2? Because, no. Believe us, we read the list about twenty times to make sure, and TF's definitely not on there. Why? Our guess is that it's all just a big popularity contest where commitment to you - the best community of the decade - apparently doesn't count for crap. That said, we should all stay calm and put the system on trial <i>next</i> decade, because both Portal and Half Life 2 <i>are</i> nominated, which is a pretty sweet deal for those two games. Sure, voting for one of them isn't the same as voting for TF2, but it's honestly as close as you're gonna get for at least ten more years, so <a href="www.ew.com/vga">go for it</a>.
Lastly, due to getting fewer submissions than we'd hoped for the "Best Original Universe" category, we didn't think it was fair to the other finalists to showcase it at the awards site, since they had to battle through stiffer competition to make it this far. But congratulations all the same to TheMike, Black_Stormy, Crazyb2000, Gamerman12, Oggnog, =|NLR|= Narry Gewman and Anton on their winning short <a href="http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=108299566">"Elements"</a>. Your Saxxy's on the way, guys!
The awards are getting polished. The limousines are gassed up. We're even steam-cleaning all the gravy stains out of the red carpet. All those portentous omens can mean just one thing: In just 48 suspense-packed hours, the Second Annual Saxxy Awards presentation will begin—LIVE, on the internet!
If you're looking for something to do while you're whiling away those hours, why not visit the awards site and keep time with our handy countdown timer? It's not just fun—it will teach you valuable lessons about the passage of time that you can use in your everyday life! If watching precious seconds subtract themselves from your lifespan isn't your thing, make an appointment with the local Teufort tailor and grab The Tuxxy (available Thursday from Mann Co. Store) so you'll have some dapper duds for the big night.
Voting is now <b>LIVE</b> for the Second Annual Saxxy Awards, from now until midnight GMT, November 27th! Your votes will help our panel of judges make the final call on which entries are the most gut-bustingly hilarious, the most eye-wettingly dramatic, the most pants-crappingly action-packed, and the most heart-tuggingly romantic. We don't want to oversell things here, but this is quite literally the most <i>important thing you will ever cast a vote for.</i> All that Presidential election hooha? Consider that nonsense practice for your voting finger, like the training montage in Rocky IV, except instead of your finger lifting a telephone pole up a mountain on its back, it'll be clicking a mouse button.
<strong style="font-size:16px">How to Vote</strong>
Every video entered in the 2012 Saxxy Awards can be viewed and voted on at the <a href="http://www.steamcommunity.com/saxxyawards/">Saxxy Awards voting page</a>. Head over now to vote! We've randomized all the entries to keep things fair; however, you <i>can</i> filter by category if you're more interested in some genres than others. After you've watched an entry, simply upvote it or downvote it and move onto the next one. Vote as much as you like, but remember: you've only got one vote per entry.
Also, with such a huge number of entries, it's a challenge to keep on top of entries breaking the <a href="http://www.teamfortress.com/saxxyawards2012/"> contest rules.</a> So if you spot an entry that's longer than five minutes, or that's using copyrighted (i.e. not Valve, and not public domain) material, help us out and report it.
The winners of this year's Saxxy Awards will be revealed on <b>November 30th</b>, with the exception of the Best Overall category. Why? Because the winner of the Best Overall category will be announced <b>LIVE</b> on the <a href="http://www.gametrailers.com/shows/gt-tv">GTTV</a> Spike Video Game Awards pre-show on December 7th, AND their entry shown on the air. Stay tuned for details!
Just a friendly reminder to anybody planning on submitting an entry to the Second Annual Saxxy Awards that the deadline is November 15, 12:00 AM GMT. This means that we <b>won't accept entries</b> after this date. Those of you planning on waiting until there's a single adrenaline-gorged second on the countdown clock, remember: You're not Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker and there's absolutely no need to do this. If you want to ensure your entry gets submitted, do not wait until the last minute.
One last thing: We've received some questions about using music. Just to clarify: Using royalty-free music in your entry is absolutely okay, but you should submit a source link in your entry's description as proof of the music's royalty-free-ness when possible.