Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (John Walker)

HAHA YOU CHAIR IS A TOILET HA HA HA

I have long held a fascination with the role toilets play in games. Where films and TV almost never feature a character visiting the lavatory, games can’t offer enough of them. Bathrooms are faithfully recreated, most often for no narrative purpose in the game itself, and so very frequently with flushable loos. What is it about this medium, that’s otherwise so willing to fill levels with pointless locked doors, that makes it so interested in the potty?

So surely, with this in mind, a game all about toilets must be the pinnacle of the medium? Right? Right? Here’s wot I think of Toilet Tycoon.>

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Craig Pearson)

Log on. Log. Get it?  A few months before Far Cry 3 was released, I was given a glimpse at the multiplayer and a social network phone application that would let you fiddle with the main game’s weapons. Then the game came out and there was nothing of the sort included. I got paranoid, presuming it to be part of a conspiracy. To what end? I imagined that when the game came out and it didn’t arrive, people wouldn’t trust anything I said about phones ever again. Then one day I’d be beaten, left for dead, and a bystander would run up and ask me if I needed help? I’d tell them to call for an ambulance, but they’d say: “You’re the guy that said I could use my phone to unlock guns in Far Cry 3′s multiplayer, you don’t get to use my phone anymore.” They’d put their phone away and no ambulance would ever come. Ubisoft released the damn app last night. I unlocked my bunker door, sacked my bodyguard, and came out of hiding. To celebrate, here’s the trailer for the app. (more…)

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Adam Smith)

It’s not unusual to pay less than a quid for a game in this age of austerity but how often do you choose to give more when a bundle allows you to pick a price? The Free Bundle will not allow your generosity to corrupt its mission statement, which is to gather free games and then to offer them for free in a bundle called ‘Free’. If you throw money at your screen, just this once it will actually bounce back and land in your tea instead of transporting directly to the developers. This collection includes mad racer Nitronic Rush, horror game Ascension, platformer Celestial Mechanica, Imscared and the splendiferous Abobo’s Big Adventure. You can download them all here.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Craig Pearson)

Simmish.There isn’t a lot to this SimCity trailer, which EA are bafflingly calling in an “Introduction”, as if we hadn’t already been talking about the game for a year already. Or did I just imagine all that? I could check, but I like to live life on the edge. For example: I’m writing this article directly into the CMS. This is internet without a safety net. All I have are my wits, the inbuilt spellchecker in Firefox (Chrome and WordPress do not get along), and a desire to crank things up a notch. Who’s with me? Let’s gooooo… (more…)

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Adam Smith)

Here’s some Prohibition news: I watched Lawless last year and even though it’s paced badly at times, I enjoyed it and marvelled at Shia TheBeef doing some proper acting. Keep the lad away from Spielberg and Bay and he might have a bright future in the business called ‘show’. Or at least a less obvious one. Omerta takes place in the big city rather than out in the sticks but, like Lawless, it’s about guns, gangsters and odd pacing, the latter due to its turn-based nature. Craig pointed out that the latest trailer is a Mac trailer and it also reuses lots of footage from the previous video, but it does show more of the strategic interface and has a toe-tapping tune.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Nathan Grayson)

Aw, they even have matching paint jobs. That's adorable.

Mech. When you hear that word, what are the first couple things that spring to mind? “Big” is probably one, right? And the other? It’s almost assuredly “rebel>.” I mean, just look at them. They clearly don’t give a goddamn about you or your rules. So MechWarrior Tactics is some kind of crazy bizarro world spin on traditional videogame rocket-’em, sock-’em robotery. In this strange alternate dimension, multiple mechs do everything you tell them, and they’re tiny widdle babies! I mean, I could just eat them up. It would cause me inconceivable amounts of pain, but I could do it. At any rate, Tactics’ closed beta just kicked off. Do you want in? OK, let me rephrase that: Do you between-$20-and-$120 want in? Well then, proceed past the break for brain-enriching infobolt.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Nathan Grayson)

PlanetSide 2 is quite good. We’ve actually pointed this out on a couple very rare occasions. But it’s by no means perfect. What puts it head and shoulders and a bottle of Head and Shoulders above the rest, however, is the fact that SOE acknowledges this. Constantly. And instead of trying to cover up fundamental flaws with new features no one asked for, it (usually) rallies its development legions in an effort to tackle glaring flaws. So then, what’s next on the docket? How do GPU performance fixes, a total XP system revamp, and the addition of an SMG weapon type sound? Probably not like anything, because they’re just bullet points on a list right now. But soon. Soon.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Adam Smith)

Ever looking forward, I’ve finally found the time to explore my thoughts about one of last year’s finest. I played Super Hexagon and I loved Super Hexagon, but it wasn’t until I saw it removed from my screen and occurring in a drinking establishment that I found the words I needed.>

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Nathan Grayson)

Games and TV haven’t exactly had the best relationship over the years. Nor have games and movies, or books, or pretty much anything that’s not games. I’ve wondered for quite a while, though, whether transmedia’s series of spectacular face-plants has been due to fundamental incompatibility between mediums or a simple lack of meaningful> collaboration. Defiance – with its frequent, meticulously planned crossovers – might be able to answer that question. But honestly, if the game’s not any good, why should anyone care about what the tiny people who live inside their televisions do or say? Naturally, then, Defiance’s upcoming beta events are of interest. You can scope out its vision of an alien-overrun Wild West future San Francisco and maybe> help make it better. A little. Details after the break.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun - contact@rockpapershotgun.com (Nathan Grayson)

Watching the latest in Crysis 3‘s “Seven Wonders” series, I can’t help but be reminded of totally amazing 7DFPS entry Vonneguts & Glory. No, Crytek’s hardware-hemorrhaging squidshoot hasn’t suddenly started dressing like Wolfenstein 3D, but it has slammed on the breaks and shifted into reverse for some reason. The effect is neat-looking, I suppose, but now I really just want a mega-budget backward shooter. Start at the end, un-shoot your victims and watch as they happily go home to their families, un-fire un-explosions from your un-gun, etc. Oh well, though. For now we’ll just have to ponder what could’ve been while watching Prophet moonwalk through Wall Street. Take a peep after the break – unless, of course, real life’s actually been in reverse the entire time and you already have>.

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