Valve is selling a virtual ring for use in free-to-play online shooter Team Fortress 2 - for $100.
But before you grab your pitchforks and head for Valve HQ know this: by the Half-Life developer's own admission: "It's basically useless."
"If there's one thing we know more about than hats, it's probably romance," Valve wrote on the Team Fortress 2 blog.
"Remember that romantic scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds up a boom box in the rain? Well, we hold stuff up in the rain all the time. Golf clubs. Our wallets. An umbrella. Whatever's handy, really. And do the girls go for it? Hard to tell - it rains pretty hard in Seattle, so the limited visibility combined with wind shear makes it tough to see the appreciation on the ladies' faces.
"Anyway, today's Valentine's Day, and that means if you're dating or married, you're going to drop somewhere in the area of $600 tonight on flowers, dinner, babysitters, hot air balloon rides, a hospital bill for rain-related holding injuries (Seattle only). It adds up fast, and you might be asking yourself at the end of the night, 'Was it all worth it?' The answer, emphatically, is no. Happy Valentine's Day, stupid.
"But wait! What if we told you that you could waste as much as 1/6 less money this Valentine's Day? What if we added that you could do it without even leaving your house? Then what if we sweetened the deal further by saying sorry for calling you stupid earlier?
"Introducing the 'Something Special For Someone Special'. It's ring-shaped, it's gift-wrapped, it's basically useless, and it's really expensive ($100!). In short, it's the most accurate simulation of an actual Valentine's Day gift ever made available to the public."
We're not sure why anyone would buy the Something Special For Someone Special ring, but we're sure someone will. In that case, it's probably best you know that it's not tradable, only giftable.
When your special someone clicks on the item from their backpack, a menu will open that lets them accept your proposal.
If the proposal is accepted a message will be broadcast to the entire Team Fortress community that will include your name, your special someone's name and the name of the ring.
The item then turns into two matching diamond bands you can wear.
So you know how there were images of Team Fortress 2 action figures from last weekend's Toy Fair in New York? There weren't any pics of the Demoman. Even though he was there.
Because he'd been stolen. And not even the whole figure. Just a very important part of it.
Toy company NECA, who is producing the figures, reports that "a few hours" after opening their booth for business on the Sunday, they noticed that the Demoman's head was missing.
Adding that "a police report was filed, right at the booth", NECA has made up for it with a proper press shot of the figure, showing him in all his Scottish glory.
Team Fortress 2 developers Valve have put together "the most accurate simulation of an actual Valentine's Day gift ever made available to the public", and today made it available as an in-game item to owners of the multiplayer shooter.
That simulation comes in the form of a $100 diamond engagement ring, which Valve admits is "basically useless". It can only be gifted, and once sent to a player, if it's accepted, the entire TF2 community will get a message broadcasting the engagement. Both players will then be wearing the ring on their in-game models.
So it's only basically useless, not entirely useless! It can, if someone actually pays up, be heart-warming. And also a useful experiment to test just when, and how, people will stop buying superfluous shit for this game.
Happy Valentine's Day! [Valve]