December, Friday the 13th was a lucky day for POSTAL fans across the world when RWS release the 1412 patch of awesomeness to update our ten year old flagship game, totally for free!

Well, as you guys liked it so much, we thought, "what the hell, have some more, also totally for free!" RWS is the development house that just keeps giving. Now with 95% less bugs than 1412 patch thanks to our expanded and dedicated team of QA testers from the http://facepunch.com/ forms. Thanks guys!

Now the bulk of the game's features have been updated, our next priority is to get all these things to Linux and Mac on Steam, and also to the DRM free platforms such as GoG.com.

These are the highlights of the new update, not including smaller fixes and new Easter Egg features:

New Features and improvements

• Steam Cloud has been activated for all platforms.
  
• The amount of vocal variety has been massively increased, including race-specific dialog. 5 new voice classes in total! Also adds more situational dialog for NPC's such as seeing cats, and being on fire. There are even a few more Dude lines now too.
  
• Added a few new variations to character pawns (example: pot bellies, shorter females, etc)
  
• As well as doors, the game now remembers which windows and bottles have been smashed when going though load zones and returning to a previous area.
  
• MP5's are more damaging, semi-auto mode more accurate
  
• Firing mode for Glock and MP5 are now displayed on the hud
  
• Dynamite has a larger radius and more damage
  
• Can now instakill bystanders with a bali to the back to make the weapon more useful (Tougher enemies like cops are not susceptible to this trick)
  
• Shovel Alt-Fire has a chance to sever limbs in much the same way the regular fire has a chance of decapitating.
  
• Speed Run ranking separated from regular ranking in stats
  
• Stats now display a flag if you speedrun a game without quitting
  
• Display current difficulty on stats screen.
  
• Gasoline trails light on fire easier, and also if an NPC or player run over a trail while they are on file it will ignite it.
  
• Updated Police and security car model
  
• Flying Sledge now destroys doors
  
• Fluid Lifetime Slider added, allows lengthening or shortening lifespan of gas, urine, blood trails (set it to 11 for near-infinite lifetime)
  
• Launcher now updated to include performance options
  
• You can now delete saved games by right-clicking on them in the save/load menu. (You will be asked for confirmation first.)
  
• Each game mode now has its own stats screen, listing only the relevant information for that game mode. (Nothing about cows or zombies in the POSTAL 2 game, for example.)
  
• Added some new end-game player rankings! See if you can find them all.
  
• Several new cheats, some hidden, some not...

New Features and improvements (Enhanced game only)

• Awesome new zipper functionality! Just you wait to play around with it
  
• Added flying shovel, you can now use the shovel to fly around the maps if you swing when already airborne. Try it, it's fun!
  
• Added Hands (pick up and throw objects with Fire and AltFire when not holding a weapon)
  
• Increased the variety of cat-grenades for the Grenade Launcher
  
• Alt-fire will spam matches when holding the match box
  
• New features for Machete, Scythe, Sledge and Machine Gun
  
• Ammo cap raised to 9999
  
• Scissors shoot faster and you also run faster when holding them
  
• Added alt-fire to Shotgun in Enhanced Game. It shoots slow-moving explosive projectiles
  
• Some bystanders will now come at you with their bare hands, even if they don't have a weapon

Bug fixes (both modes)

• 100's of map related fixes to address missing collisions, rendering issues, various visual issues such as terrain clipping in the wrong place, lots of 'out of world' bugs addressed, ect ect
  
• Mike J now acts as you would expect him to when he's being pissed on
  
• Fix for collision on the explodable cars, you can no longer walk though the hood etc.
  
• Massive context sensitive performance fixes some areas when going on a rampage and blowing up cars.
  
• Fix for alpha of the in game map to remove the black border
  
• Fix for the game restarting on an earlier day when passing though load zones when too many doors are smashed
  
• Wanted level will now correctly decreases in Liebermode
  
• Resolved an issue that could cause NPC's to go running into walls
  
• Fix for non-ragdolled bodies blocking the player with cylinder collision.
  
• Fix for achievement menu on low resolutions
  
• Cheats reset to 'off' when starting a new game
  
• Fix for being able to gib Phraud Hogslop's head and him still living
  
• Fix for a rare bug where the petition wouldn't get signed, even if the NPC agreed to sign it
  
• Fix for cow head buzzing not going away sometimes when changing weapons.
  
• Fix for cashiers holding heavy bags
  
• Fix for cops repeating same lines when the dude-dressed-as-cop is attacking bystanders
  
• Fix for a bug where you could force the elevator in MilitaryBase3 to get stuck
  
• Fix for pawns not displaying facial expressions properly
  
• Fix for ammo oddity with weapons that share ammo
  
• Fix for bystanders moonwalking when hit with Bali, anthrax, or WMD
  
• Fix for cops attacking each other while you're in disguise
  
• Fix for Some cases of incorrect stat recording
  
• Fix for Some 'dude kill' false positives to make getting a Jesus run fairer
  
• Fix for a bug where the Fog Slider preferences would not update properly when Infinite Visibility was turned off
  
• Fix for a bug causing the Machete to disappear from the Dude's hands forever when thrown
  
• Fix for a bug causing pickups and cats to respawn when going back to a previously-visited level
  
• Added mipmaps to almost every texture that was missing them, such as the sledge hammer.
  
• Fix for a bug which caused some NPC's to go into a default T shape when dying while in the air
  
• Fix for an issue where spawned-in police would arrest the Dude while in uniform. Now they just run up to him and investigate the area instead.
  
• Fix for a bug causing the Enhanced Game to not be properly unlocked, leading to a situation where one could start an Enhanced Game but end up in the regular game instead
  
• Fix for a crash while killing Gary Colemans in the Publisher's Office
  
• Destroying a boarded-up door now destroys the boards as well
  
• Fix for a bug where you could mess up a movie by pausing
  
• Massive improvements to Steam implementation, should get rid of those "unable to connect to Steam" errors
  
• Fix for some zombies floating in midair with no legs
  
• Fix for some zombie kills not counting at Vince's House.
  
• Fix for black bars covering the credits in the POSTAL 2 ending
  
• Fix for certain NPC's receiving the wrong accessories

Changes to Achievements

• The "CAN YOU DIG IT?!" achievement can now be earned even if you fire a weapon that is not the Shovel, so long as you don't kill with it. Makes it much easier to get this achievement. However, you must now kill at least 30 people with the shovel to qualify, instead of just 5.
  
• The "40 Year Old Virgin" achievement can no longer be obtained in the Enhanced Game. Additionally, using catnip no longer slows down the speed-run timer.

One last important notice...
Saved games from 1412 should be fully compatible with 1413. However, if you experience crashes, we recommend you start with a fresh save, and delete any problematic saves by right-clicking them in the load or save game menu.

And finally... Why the hell are you still reading this? Go play the fucking game already!

December, Friday the 13th was a lucky day for POSTAL fans across the world when RWS release the 1412 patch of awesomeness to update our ten year old flagship game, totally for free!

Well, as you guys liked it so much, we thought, "what the hell, have some more, also totally for free!" RWS is the development house that just keeps giving. Now with 95% less bugs than 1412 patch thanks to our expanded and dedicated team of QA testers from the http://facepunch.com/ forms. Thanks guys!

Now the bulk of the game's features have been updated, our next priority is to get all these things to Linux and Mac on Steam, and also to the DRM free platforms such as GoG.com.

These are the highlights of the new update, not including smaller fixes and new Easter Egg features:

New Features and improvements

• Steam Cloud has been activated for all platforms.
  
• The amount of vocal variety has been massively increased, including race-specific dialog. 5 new voice classes in total! Also adds more situational dialog for NPC's such as seeing cats, and being on fire. There are even a few more Dude lines now too.
  
• Added a few new variations to character pawns (example: pot bellies, shorter females, etc)
  
• As well as doors, the game now remembers which windows and bottles have been smashed when going though load zones and returning to a previous area.
  
• MP5's are more damaging, semi-auto mode more accurate
  
• Firing mode for Glock and MP5 are now displayed on the hud
  
• Dynamite has a larger radius and more damage
  
• Can now instakill bystanders with a bali to the back to make the weapon more useful (Tougher enemies like cops are not susceptible to this trick)
  
• Shovel Alt-Fire has a chance to sever limbs in much the same way the regular fire has a chance of decapitating.
  
• Speed Run ranking separated from regular ranking in stats
  
• Stats now display a flag if you speedrun a game without quitting
  
• Display current difficulty on stats screen.
  
• Gasoline trails light on fire easier, and also if an NPC or player run over a trail while they are on file it will ignite it.
  
• Updated Police and security car model
  
• Flying Sledge now destroys doors
  
• Fluid Lifetime Slider added, allows lengthening or shortening lifespan of gas, urine, blood trails (set it to 11 for near-infinite lifetime)
  
• Launcher now updated to include performance options
  
• You can now delete saved games by right-clicking on them in the save/load menu. (You will be asked for confirmation first.)
  
• Each game mode now has its own stats screen, listing only the relevant information for that game mode. (Nothing about cows or zombies in the POSTAL 2 game, for example.)
  
• Added some new end-game player rankings! See if you can find them all.
  
• Several new cheats, some hidden, some not...

New Features and improvements (Enhanced game only)

• Awesome new zipper functionality! Just you wait to play around with it
  
• Added flying shovel, you can now use the shovel to fly around the maps if you swing when already airborne. Try it, it's fun!
  
• Added Hands (pick up and throw objects with Fire and AltFire when not holding a weapon)
  
• Increased the variety of cat-grenades for the Grenade Launcher
  
• Alt-fire will spam matches when holding the match box
  
• New features for Machete, Scythe, Sledge and Machine Gun
  
• Ammo cap raised to 9999
  
• Scissors shoot faster and you also run faster when holding them
  
• Added alt-fire to Shotgun in Enhanced Game. It shoots slow-moving explosive projectiles
  
• Some bystanders will now come at you with their bare hands, even if they don't have a weapon

Bug fixes (both modes)

• 100's of map related fixes to address missing collisions, rendering issues, various visual issues such as terrain clipping in the wrong place, lots of 'out of world' bugs addressed, ect ect
  
• Mike J now acts as you would expect him to when he's being pissed on
  
• Fix for collision on the explodable cars, you can no longer walk though the hood etc.
  
• Massive context sensitive performance fixes some areas when going on a rampage and blowing up cars.
  
• Fix for alpha of the in game map to remove the black border
  
• Fix for the game restarting on an earlier day when passing though load zones when too many doors are smashed
  
• Wanted level will now correctly decreases in Liebermode
  
• Resolved an issue that could cause NPC's to go running into walls
  
• Fix for non-ragdolled bodies blocking the player with cylinder collision.
  
• Fix for achievement menu on low resolutions
  
• Cheats reset to 'off' when starting a new game
  
• Fix for being able to gib Phraud Hogslop's head and him still living
  
• Fix for a rare bug where the petition wouldn't get signed, even if the NPC agreed to sign it
  
• Fix for cow head buzzing not going away sometimes when changing weapons.
  
• Fix for cashiers holding heavy bags
  
• Fix for cops repeating same lines when the dude-dressed-as-cop is attacking bystanders
  
• Fix for a bug where you could force the elevator in MilitaryBase3 to get stuck
  
• Fix for pawns not displaying facial expressions properly
  
• Fix for ammo oddity with weapons that share ammo
  
• Fix for bystanders moonwalking when hit with Bali, anthrax, or WMD
  
• Fix for cops attacking each other while you're in disguise
  
• Fix for Some cases of incorrect stat recording
  
• Fix for Some 'dude kill' false positives to make getting a Jesus run fairer
  
• Fix for a bug where the Fog Slider preferences would not update properly when Infinite Visibility was turned off
  
• Fix for a bug causing the Machete to disappear from the Dude's hands forever when thrown
  
• Fix for a bug causing pickups and cats to respawn when going back to a previously-visited level
  
• Added mipmaps to almost every texture that was missing them, such as the sledge hammer.
  
• Fix for a bug which caused some NPC's to go into a default T shape when dying while in the air
  
• Fix for an issue where spawned-in police would arrest the Dude while in uniform. Now they just run up to him and investigate the area instead.
  
• Fix for a bug causing the Enhanced Game to not be properly unlocked, leading to a situation where one could start an Enhanced Game but end up in the regular game instead
  
• Fix for a crash while killing Gary Colemans in the Publisher's Office
  
• Destroying a boarded-up door now destroys the boards as well
  
• Fix for a bug where you could mess up a movie by pausing
  
• Massive improvements to Steam implementation, should get rid of those "unable to connect to Steam" errors
  
• Fix for some zombies floating in midair with no legs
  
• Fix for some zombie kills not counting at Vince's House.
  
• Fix for black bars covering the credits in the POSTAL 2 ending
  
• Fix for certain NPC's receiving the wrong accessories

Changes to Achievements

• The "CAN YOU DIG IT?!" achievement can now be earned even if you fire a weapon that is not the Shovel, so long as you don't kill with it. Makes it much easier to get this achievement. However, you must now kill at least 30 people with the shovel to qualify, instead of just 5.
  
• The "40 Year Old Virgin" achievement can no longer be obtained in the Enhanced Game. Additionally, using catnip no longer slows down the speed-run timer.

One last important notice...
Saved games from 1412 should be fully compatible with 1413. However, if you experience crashes, we recommend you start with a fresh save, and delete any problematic saves by right-clicking them in the load or save game menu.

And finally... Why the hell are you still reading this? Go play the fucking game already!

POSTAL 2 Complete has been updated to Version 1412, Hotfix 3.

Changelog:

• Resolved an issue causing players to receive repeated "Save failed, please try again" errors.
  
• Resolved an issue causing players to time-warp back to Monday when loading "POSTAL 2" game mode saves created before Hotfix 2. ("Groundhog Day" glitch)
  
• Addressed several slowdown and performance issues.

We're still working on fixes, improvements and enhancements, so keep those bug reports coming in and sound off on our Steam forums!

Have a very POSTAL holiday, everyone!

POSTAL 2 Complete has been updated to Version 1412, Hotfix 3.

Changelog:

• Resolved an issue causing players to receive repeated "Save failed, please try again" errors.
  
• Resolved an issue causing players to time-warp back to Monday when loading "POSTAL 2" game mode saves created before Hotfix 2. ("Groundhog Day" glitch)
  
• Addressed several slowdown and performance issues.

We're still working on fixes, improvements and enhancements, so keep those bug reports coming in and sound off on our Steam forums!

Have a very POSTAL holiday, everyone!

POSTAL 2 Complete has been updated to Version 1412, Hotfix 2.

Changelog:

• Addressed an issue that can cause players to not receive their final stats screen and achievements for completing "A Week In Paradise" or "Apocalypse Weekend" game modes.
  
• Resolved an issue preventing players from unlocking achievements if the Cheats Menu had been accessed, but no cheats were used.
  
• Resolved some graphical glitches in the Lucky Ganesh.
  
• Added a new Stats Clipboard item that allows players to view their current game stats at any time. (The Stats Clipboard will not show up in existing saves; players must start a new game to receive the item.)
  
• Addressed some performance issues.
  
• POSTAL 2 Classic (Version 1409) is now available as a beta branch! To access it, right-click on POSTAL 2 Complete in your Steam library, click "Properties", then "Betas", then select "1409". Warning: Saves made in 1412 are not compatible with 1409, and vice versa. Additionally, you cannot unlock achievements in 1409.

Note that some updates will not affect your current saves until you load that save and go through a Load Zone transition.

We're still working on fixes, improvements and enhancements, so keep those bug reports coming in and sound off on our Steam forums!

Enjoy!

POSTAL 2 Complete has been updated to Version 1412, Hotfix 2.

Changelog:

• Addressed an issue that can cause players to not receive their final stats screen and achievements for completing "A Week In Paradise" or "Apocalypse Weekend" game modes.
  
• Resolved an issue preventing players from unlocking achievements if the Cheats Menu had been accessed, but no cheats were used.
  
• Resolved some graphical glitches in the Lucky Ganesh.
  
• Added a new Stats Clipboard item that allows players to view their current game stats at any time. (The Stats Clipboard will not show up in existing saves; players must start a new game to receive the item.)
  
• Addressed some performance issues.
  
• POSTAL 2 Classic (Version 1409) is now available as a beta branch! To access it, right-click on POSTAL 2 Complete in your Steam library, click "Properties", then "Betas", then select "1409". Warning: Saves made in 1412 are not compatible with 1409, and vice versa. Additionally, you cannot unlock achievements in 1409.

Note that some updates will not affect your current saves until you load that save and go through a Load Zone transition.

We're still working on fixes, improvements and enhancements, so keep those bug reports coming in and sound off on our Steam forums!

Enjoy!

POSTAL 2 Complete has been updated to Version 1412, Hotfix 1.

Changelog:

• Patched up a hole in the ground near the library
  
• Added in a missing telephone pole
  
• New police car models
  
• Added additional weapon pickups throughout the game, more randomized.
  
• Added more props and daily variation
  
• Added missing MP5 load weapon sound
  
• Resolved an issue where the wanted meter would never go down during Liebermode difficulty
  
• Resolved an issue where player could get stuck in the hospital, unable to move or access the menu, after the Apocalypse Weekend intro movie
  
• Resolved an issue causing some police officers to not wear a hat when assigned one
  
• Resolved an issue where under certain situations the player could permanently lose the clipboard or other mission-critical items at the Police Station
  
• Fixed "Apoocalypse Weekend" typo
  
• You can now launch Postal2.exe directly via shortcut
  
• Various other visual and gameplay related fixes
  
• Addressed some performance issues

Note that some updates will not affect your current saves until you load that save and go through a Load Zone transition.

We're still working on fixes, improvements and enhancements, so keep those bug reports coming in and sound off on our Steam forums!

Enjoy!

POSTAL 2 Complete has been updated to Version 1412, Hotfix 1.

Changelog:

• Patched up a hole in the ground near the library
  
• Added in a missing telephone pole
  
• New police car models
  
• Added additional weapon pickups throughout the game, more randomized.
  
• Added more props and daily variation
  
• Added missing MP5 load weapon sound
  
• Resolved an issue where the wanted meter would never go down during Liebermode difficulty
  
• Resolved an issue where player could get stuck in the hospital, unable to move or access the menu, after the Apocalypse Weekend intro movie
  
• Resolved an issue causing some police officers to not wear a hat when assigned one
  
• Resolved an issue where under certain situations the player could permanently lose the clipboard or other mission-critical items at the Police Station
  
• Fixed "Apoocalypse Weekend" typo
  
• You can now launch Postal2.exe directly via shortcut
  
• Various other visual and gameplay related fixes
  
• Addressed some performance issues

Note that some updates will not affect your current saves until you load that save and go through a Load Zone transition.

We're still working on fixes, improvements and enhancements, so keep those bug reports coming in and sound off on our Steam forums!

Enjoy!

After a little hiatus, POSTAL 2 has received a new update.

Click here for the full changelog.

The Mac and Linux updates will follow soon. We apologize for the delay and will inform you when we know when these updates will become available to you. We are still very much committed to Linux and Mac.

Disclaimer: Older saves will not be compatible with this release, sorry 'bout that. Might also break some mods, but we will post a full guide for modders on how to quickly adapt their current mods to work with it. Future updates should not disrupt anything though now we have laid out the new base.

If you encounter any bugs, please use this thread and/or use the bug-report button if you crash to desktop. It will help us to gather information how to fix them.

Now get your wife's list and do as you're told!
Enjoy!