Portal

Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys While NECA rolled out a bunch of impressive Valve-licensed stuff, I was still charmed by the Portal 2 offerings shown by ThinkGeek. Along a Companion Cube cookie jar and talking turrets, they also had Aperture Science cores that blurted out phrases from the Portal games. But the highlight had to be the Science Fair kit that you could plug into a potato, calling back to one of the best moments in Valve's teleportational sequel. (Potato not included but the poster backdrop is)


ThinkGeek also had Minecraft wares on display, too. Those wall-hangings should keep the Creepers away, no?


Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys
Make Your Spud an Aperture Potato with These Portal 2 Toys


Portal

Buy Your Own Life-Size Portal GunThe cake might be a lie, but this 1/1 scale Portal gun looks as real as one can get without being able to shoot holes in walls.


This Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device is priced at ¥16,000 (US$208). It's from Neca, the famed replica and prop maker.


Back in July 2011, Kotaku reported that Neca was working on official Valve action figures as well as a replica gun.


Pre-orders started online this week in Japan for an April release.


ポータル/ ポータル・デバイス プロップレプリカ [Mamegyorai]


Buy Your Own Life-Size Portal Gun
Buy Your Own Life-Size Portal Gun
Buy Your Own Life-Size Portal Gun


Portal

Valve & Bethesda Release Official Portal 2 Mod...For SkyrimTo commemorate the opening of Skyrim's fancy new Creation Kit on Valve's Steam service, Bethesda and the creators of Portal have teamed up to release an official mod. Which brings Portal 2's Space Core to Skyrim.


How? Well, it quite literally falls out of the sky.


To celebrate the opening of the Steam Workshop for Skyrim, Valve and Bethesda have teamed up to bring you the Portal 2 Space Core mod, which will let the aggressively space-centric little robot tag along on your adventures in Tamriel.


Also, since Skyrim was the only major release of 2011 without Nolan North in it, you should consider this mod a patch to fix that problem. You can now feel free to include Skyrim in the "Nolan North" section of your video game library, which is to say, your video game library.


Amazing. You can see a video of the Core falling to Earth Skyrim in the gallery above.


Fall of the Space Core, Vol. 1 [Steam]



Valve & Bethesda Release Official Portal 2 Mod...For Skyrim
Valve & Bethesda Release Official Portal 2 Mod...For Skyrim
Valve & Bethesda Release Official Portal 2 Mod...For Skyrim


Portal

The Dating Secrets of Your Favorite Video Game CharactersNathan Drake has recently purchased a new MacBook, after talking to several of his friends about it for several weeks. He has done more discussing the MacBook than he has actually using it, and secretly he enjoys causing the icons to sort of ‘pop' along the bar at the bottom of the screen more than he enjoys operating the various applications that have come with his new Apple experience.


After ‘striking out' at several casual open bar nights – generally because he opens most conversations by stating ‘so I've just gotten the new MacBook, yeah, it's pretty sweet' – Nathan Drake one night at home alone decides, after close to two glasses of Pinot Grigio, to create an eHarmony dating profile. He decides to upload a picture of him standing beside a large airplane on some sort of landing strip because he believes it lends him a pleasant combination of ‘adventuresome' and ‘approachable.'


However, due to a combination of overwhelm in regards to filling out personality quizzes and sudden-onset fatigue brought on by the Pinot Grigio, Nathan Drake's eHarmony profile remains largely incomplete, featuring mostly the picture of himself, a tagline indicating he is "looking for my Treasure ;)" and little else. Unbeknownst to him, though, this isn't the reason why after three separate attempts the site reported via email that it had failed to find his perfect match.


The reason is actually that Nathan Drake had believed the approximate 1/6 of Elena's face/hair that has been cropped out of the left extreme of the photograph was not noticeable/insignificant to potential significant others that might have been browsing his profile. In fact, it was a total ‘red flag' that made most visitors to his profile think, "wow, this jerk cropped out his ex". Ultimately the only response Nathan Drake received to his eHarmony profile was a message from a 52 year-old divorced father of four who was extremely interested in Christianity and lived approximately 400 miles outside of his geographic radius.


Bowser has actually eschewed most traditional dating sites in the past; when his friends come over to smoke weed and play his Wii and give him some good-natured crap about his vague, evasive attitude as regards internet dating he generally presents the excuse that his distinctly dinosauric features are probably unlikely to ‘play well' on appearance-oriented sites such as OKCupid. When his friends respond with things to the effect of "come on man, some chicks dig that" or "how do you know if you don't even try" or "why don't you try Craigslist" he grows ever more vague and evasive, eventually surly, until he ends up yelling something like "I'm still fragile, okay" [regarding the woman known as ‘Princess' from LiveJournal and all the awkward drama surrounding ‘Princess' which his friends are basically at a loss for how to deal with/sick of effing hearing about].


Bowser's internet dating behavior is largely oriented around ‘friending' women he thinks are attractive on Facebook and spending a few weeks ‘liking' all of their statuses while being generally hesitant to initiate any more elaborate contact. Bowser expresses his interest in a woman by typing ‘neat photo' into a comment on a picture of her that was added ~2 years ago.


Occasionally he develops online relationships that may/may not ‘go somewhere.' When his friends ask how his love life is going he says "I get laid, okay," out of the corner of his reptilian lips in a fashion he thinks seems cavalier and/or cool.


Chell spent months tailoring and revising her OKCupid profile; in fact, from the date of its conception until the present (about 2 years), she has devoted about four days out of every week to editing the OKCupid profile, making subtle grammatical tweaks to her personal descriptors in order to match the image of herself she hopes to project to potential suitors. For example, in the "I'm Really Good At" section, Chell had originally listed "naps; the gun range; problem-solving, long leaps", but shortly thereafter edited it to read simply "Athletics", in the hopes of sounding somewhat more mysterious/piquant.


She does not respond to IMs delivered to her on OKCupid; in fact, she often copies and pastes the coarsest solicitations and circulates them on her Tumblr for the amusement of her friends/internet followers. Despite this and many similar behaviors that have created the impression of Chell as a desirable/popular frequent dater, even those who could be considered her closer ‘IRL friends' struggle to nail down precisely the extent to which Chell actually dates/engages in real relationships with other people.


She is wont to mention in conversation stuff re: "guys" or "this guy" or "this one time" with a slightly over-rehearsed body language but few specifics, but because she is sort of a stand-offish [read: difficult] person, rarely is anyone ever inclined to press her for specifics. Chell occasionally changes her Facebook relationship status to ‘It's Complicated,' but never indicates it to be ‘with' anyone.


Sonic the Hedgehog now has a profile active on nearly every dating site in existence, although when asked (Tails is the only one who asks) he will maintain that he only nurtures a sort of casual interest in dating, like, "not looking for anything," he'd answer, putting on shades indoors while putting his feet up on an inherited ottoman. Sonic frequently insists he has "a lot going on right now," without specifying, necessarily, what "a lot" entails, or occasionally listing a few minor impending engagements in the sort of vaunted fashion that is designed to make him sound busier than he is.


He actually attracts a lot of prospective dates from various matches across various dating sites who are drawn to his public profile/history as a fairly significant pop culture figure, and on the dates he tells them that music networks are interested in potentially developing reality programming based on his efforts to find the perfect partner, except he doesn't really know if he wants to go through all of that because he is a ‘down-to-earth' kind of guy who just wants to meet a normal special girl, before adding that there, like, really would be a lot of money in it if he ‘went with' the network. It's to the point where basically the same words come out of his mouth on each date he attends. He rarely removes the sunglasses.


Most of the time he attracts unstable individuals significantly younger than he is, many of whom are working out issues related to their fathers. Sonic the Hedgehog generally engages in very short-lived, dysfunctional and materialistic relationships with these individuals that tend to end mostly due to his failure to communicate with acuity via text message, i.e a girl tries to text him via iPhone elaborately about her personal feelings and Sonic ruins it all by replying on his Blackberry ‘o i c.'


Zelda does not care for traditional dating sites per se. She generally hangs out on mIRC under really obscure aliases so that when she occasionally makes reference to the fact she is a female and/or princess most of the people in her ‘scene' accuse her of lying, having an identity crisis or of being a melodramatic faker. It's true that when Zelda was 14 or 15 she had a highly melodramatic MySpace page on which she regularly blogged in regards to ‘feeling trapped'; having ‘dark thoughts' that she would quickly reassure everyone were not serious as soon as her online friends expressed concern for her, or about drama going on in the cosplay group in which she peripherally participated. During her teens Zelda had a 2-3 year period during which she only posted pictures of her mother's two cats, which she claimed were her cats.


Now, though, she spends her time virulently mocking MySpace, using Tumblr on a near 12 hour per day basis, and becoming enamored of cosplayers, artists and writers whom she finds through blog networks/Twitter. Her blog is set to ‘private' but those who have earned their way into her somewhat vague inner circle have the privilege of reading entries about this or that much older man with whom she has decided to live on an average of a year or two before having a public, explosive breakup after which she wonders who will support her financially next.


Leigh Alexander is editor-at-large for Gamasutra, author of the Sexy Videogameland blog, columnist in Edge Magazine and games editor at Nylon Guys, in addition to freelancing reviews and criticism to a wide variety of outlets. Her monthly column at Kotaku deals with cultural issues surrounding games and gamers. She can be reached at leighalexander1 AT gmail DOT com.
Portal

Police Academy Star Beeps and Boops His Way Through Video Game Sound-Effects History Join Michael Winslow—the noise-making star from Police Academy—on a cursory run through The History of Videogame SFX. Indeed the video is far from exhaustive, going from the blips of Pong (1972) to those of Portal (2007) without much in between: just a few other arcade legends and shooters. All sounds like a bunch of noise to me, but it's still a lot of fun!




For more from the Man of 10,000 Sound Effects, check him out making sounds for Wizard Ops, the recently-released iOS game.


Portal

Portal 2's Cave Johnson rants about citrus fruit in this trailer for an "Electronic Combustible Lemon," which, when ignited, plays an ominous ticking countdown followed by what I presume is the sound of lemons exploding. Sadly, the lemon itself does not explode.


The lemon's case plays the Aperture Science founder's infamous rant from Portal 2, in which he explains to listeners exactly what to do when life gives them lemons.


The bizarre gadget is on sale for $80 over at e-commerce site Etsy.


Electronic Combustible Lemon [YouTube]


Portal

This Custom Portal 2 Toy Has Its Eye on YouThe work of custom toy creator Christian Hooton is no stranger to Kotaku. Whether it's StarCraft or Portal, Hooton's craftsmanship dazzles. Check out his latest creation: a 7-inch Portal 2 Wheatley light-up toy.


Hooton worked about a month to finish the Wheatley, which is made from lightweight plastic and has a moveable center "eye" that also lights up. According to the sculptor, "The weird thing about this one is that it's dangerously close to able to be used as a puppet. The eye is mounted on a gyrroscopesque [SIC] hinged in the center of the ball, and there are thin fishing line like strings keeping it a neutral position."


More photos on his blog in the link below.


PORTAL 2 Wheatley 7" custom light up toy [Sabretooth's Workshop via SuperPunch]


Portal

Man Turns Office Into Aperture Science Waiting RoomReader Adam is rightfully very proud of his new Portal-themed room, which doesn't just look like a part of the series' Aperture Science, it acts like it as well.


That Cave Johnson portrait? It's not a print, it's actually a hand-painted original. That test chamber panel? It's not just a picture, it lights up, just like the real thing. There are even a few lemon grenades on the shelf, just in case life wants to throw something at you.


You can read more about the project, and check out a massive gallery of the room under construction, below.


My Portal Room Project [Telnets]


Man Turns Office Into Aperture Science Waiting Room
Man Turns Office Into Aperture Science Waiting Room
Man Turns Office Into Aperture Science Waiting Room
Man Turns Office Into Aperture Science Waiting Room
Man Turns Office Into Aperture Science Waiting Room


Portal

Come Talk About the Epic of GLaDOS, Portal 2, at Kotaku Game ClubWelcome everyone to week 3 of the Kotaku Game Club's look back at Portal 2. In our third meeting we'll be talking about the game's story and characters.


Gameplay aside, the world of Portal 2 plays such a large role in making Portal 2 a rich experience, and I'm sure you all have something to say about the game's memorable story moments.

As with our past two meetings, the discussion today isn't chronological. There will be spoilers from the entire game, including the ending. Since today's discussion focuses on the plot, today's meeting will be especially jam-packed with spoilers.


If you're joining us for the first time, Our goal at Kotaku Game Club is to play games as a community so that we can share our thoughts as we're experiencing the game. We meet each week in the Game Club's comments section to discuss our experiences with our game of the month.


Our meetings generally start at 4pm Eastern every Thursday, and last an hour or so after the post is published. The Game Club is here to get everybody talking with each other, so don't be afraid to speak your mind and to start a dialogue with other posters.


As for our question of the week: Is there such a thing as too much GLaDOS?


In the original Portal GLaDOS accounted for 100% of your character interaction. (No, I don't count the turrets.) She was your guide and your nemesis for a few sentences between each puzzle. In Portal 2, her presence has grown, but her role has not. In fact, it's shrunk—GLaDOS never plays that double-role the same way. Shrunk into her personal story, GLaDOS, once an instrument of narrative utility, is now a superfluous flourish to the player's experience. So here's the larger question: Can a story that's compelling but tangential to your experience be as compelling as one that effects you directly?


Don't miss our last meeting about Portal 2 next Thursday! We'll be looking at the co-op levels and what makes them special. That's Thursday, February 2nd, at 4pm Eastern.


Portal

Remember that round three of Kotaku Game Club's Portal 2 discussion series starts tomorrow at 4pm Eastern!


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