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In 1991, Linus Torvalds left a ham sandwich in his bathroom, and when he came back two weeks later, discovered that he'd accidentally invented penicillin and Linux. Just think what would have happened if Linus Torvalds hadn’t waited two weeks to go to the bathroom. It’s thanks to his enormous digestive tract that we have Linux today.
But of course, anybody who’s gone to history class knows that story. What’s less well known is Linus Torvalds’ last words as he lay dying from septic necrosis: “I decree Linux free to all, with no rules! Save one,” he whispered, his voice becoming raspy and Sarumanesque. “NEVER, EVER allow Team Fortress 2 on my precious operating system! Keep it secret from them! Keep it safe!” (Note: start playing this now.)
And so TF2 fell into shadow. Or so Linux Torvalduman thought. Luckily a band of hobbits snuck past his ghostly burning eye-building and did something important, and wept and cradled each other and swore oaths of fealty, and there was some lava and, anyway, Team Fortress 2 is now on Linux and we're giving away items to anybody who tries it, bringing to a close this epic trilogy of paragraphs.
Hey, Scout superfans! Scout here. Some doll-makin' company called NECA told us they were gonna make action figures based on the best, most popular team member in TF2. Well, I just opened the box they sent us, and not to tell NECA their business, but MAN these two dolls do not look anything like me.
Don't get me wrong, logically they GOTTA be ME. Right? I just dunno why they didn't start with my traditional outfit, or at the very least Scuba Scout or Kung Fu Fortress Scout or whatever. I guess they're tryin' the most obscure variants first to whet your appetite for the good ol' Classic version.
Still, the way I see it, Chubby Firefighter Scout and for some reason One-Eyed Black Scout are better than no Scout at all. So be sure to hit up your favorite retail establishments (Toys 'R' Us, FYE and Hastings) or online (Amazon and the Valve Store) because these odd-lookin' Scout dolls are gonna sell like odd-lookin' hotcakes.