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Multiplayer gamers know this fact: if you wander away from your group, you can die a horrible, stupid death. Cows apparently do not have this knowledge.
A bizarre news story from the Seattle Times tells the story of about half a dozen cows that have uttered their last moo and left frozen carcasses behind in a cabin near Aspen, Colo. The problem with the dead cows is that they've frozen to each other, creating a solid, potentially delicious mass that's become very hard to move.
Things are going to get warm soon and there's a threat of dead cow essence polluting the local water supply if the carcasses start to decompose. One of the solutions that the U.S Forest Service is considering is using explosives to dislodge the cows. Where's Team Fortress 2's blowing-stuff-up expert when you need him, huh?
Forest Service may blow up frozen cows in cabin [Seattle Times]
The makers of the best Pokémon summary ever turn their sharp eyes and speedy mouths on Valve's colorful online multiplayer shooter, explaining why there is red, and why there is not-so-red.
Yes, there is a pointless point to those endless battles. Perhaps one day one color shall win once and for all.
Team Fortress 2 Lore in a Minute [YouTube]
Charlie Chaplin's The Great Dictator, a masterpiece of both comedy and propaganda, is rightly regarded as one of the most important motion pictures ever made. Meaning it's well worth watching in its own right.
If you're put off by all that black and white, though, maybe ease yourself in with some Team Fortress 2 machinima? This clip, by Shwiggan and Gzero, mashes together the film's memorable speech with, well, cartoon characters from Team Fortress 2. It works a lot better than that makes it sound.
Zander Brandt, a man who is able to reach into video games and pull their weapons out into the real world, works his magic on Team Fortress 2 once more with this pair of amazing gun replicas.
Pictured is the Scattergun and Pistol from Valve's first-person hat simulator, which somehow manage to get not just the proportions right, but also the game's trademark cartoon sheen.
He's built a shotgun and a heart-stopping Sentry Gun from the game previously, which you can check out here.
ZPROPS [Official Site]
At first glance, Final Combat looks exactly like a cheap Team Fortress 2 rip with two female classes. The characters look like uninspiring copies of Valve's own creations, and the game play looks like every other FPS to date.
Like many Chinese online games, FC is a free-to-play client based game. Most internet cafes have the game preinstalled on their servers, to date I've only ever been to three that didn't have the game.
The only problem I had was registering for an account. Unfortunately, for an American expatriate like myself, I couldn't register for the game because I didn't have a legal Chinese name or ID number. To get around this barrier, I swiped my colleague's ID and signed up an account under his identity.
With my assumed identity ready, I was ready to play some FC. Logging on and going through the menus were as easy as pie, anyone who's played online games before should be able to navigate it sans Chinese reading abilities and all. Finding a match took less than a minute.
The gameplay is broken down into the generic FPS game types such as team death match, free-for-all, and capture the flag. There are also some added game types which seem to be directly taken from TF2, such the boss battles.
For a free-to-play online game, I can say that FC plays very smoothly. It's graphically pleasing, and the gameplay is somewhat rewarding. Depending on the game type, when you shoot another player, you earn money points that can be used to upgrade and purchase new starting weapons and classes.
FC has a total of 16 playable classes, however since I just started out I was only allowed to choose from four basic classes. The classes I was allowed to go with were the Office Lady sniper, "Heavy gunning Mexican Fisherman", French Commando, and Fire Fighter. Like in TF2, each class has a set of special weapons and different perks. Throughout my time with the game, I played as the most time as the OL sniper and the French Commando.
I had a blast playing as the Commando running around with what looks like a FAMAS. The Office Lady sniper on the other hand didn't play as I expected—plus I'm not really much of a camper.
One aspect of the game that I did not get a chance to explore was the in game micro-transactions. Unfortunately I don't have a Chinese credit card, but from what the internet cafe employee tells me, there are loads of perks that you can purchase in game. Some of the perks listed on the FC homepage are items such as extra ammo and health packs, which to me are deal breakers. I am personally very against the pay to win model and FC like so many other Chinese made online game is "pay to win".
Apart from looking and playing pretty much exactly like a TF 2 rip, I am amazed at how smooth and clear FC is. The controls are the same easy-to-use ones found in pretty much every popular FPS. Despite the fact that the game has "play to win" elements, all in all, the draw for me was pretty much the fact that it was something slightly different from the regular games found in Chinese net cafes.
Final Combat [Official Site]
A pair of Team Fortress 2 modders have taken the game's bones, a bunch of angry Scottish men and the classic Hudson game Bomberman and turned it into something wonderful.
Their TF2 mod, called TF2 Bomberman, keeps the original game's core principles of bombs and a maze while putting you in control of Team Fortress 2's Demoman.
You can grab it below.
Valve's $100 Valentine's Day gag was actually taken up by a lot of people, who figured the money was well spent since it gave them a chance to broadcast a message to the entire Team Fortress 2 community.
What resulted, then, were not actual engagements, but people making Half-Life 3 jokes for the whole world to see. Which may be what Valve expected all along, and is why the entry barrier to such power was set so high.
TF2′s $100 wedding rings are one dirty joke [PC Gamer]
So you know how there were images of Team Fortress 2 action figures from last weekend's Toy Fair in New York? There weren't any pics of the Demoman. Even though he was there.
Because he'd been stolen. And not even the whole figure. Just a very important part of it.
Toy company NECA, who is producing the figures, reports that "a few hours" after opening their booth for business on the Sunday, they noticed that the Demoman's head was missing.
Adding that "a police report was filed, right at the booth", NECA has made up for it with a proper press shot of the figure, showing him in all his Scottish glory.