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I exist outside of popular culture*. I’ve only just started to watch The Shield, and I mostly listened to Use Your Illusion II this weekend. So I had to Google ‘Gareth Bale’ to find out why everyone was talking about him, which in turn reminded me that Football Manager 2014 is coming out, and that I should get with the times. The managerial machination sim would have prepared me for the news about a Welsh person’s move to a Spanish place for more money that exists in space and time, and it would also have told me about his abilities, stats, training schedule, and possibly his cup size, but it’s not out yet and I refuse to be left behind again by looking at 2013′s information. I’ll wait for 2014′s release, and keep up by watching these videos of the game in action.
This year as with every year, there is a brand new edition of Sports Interactive’s management goliath Foot-to-Ball Commander. The 2013 version is out next week, in fact. New features this year include over 17 new types of decomposing tobacco breath odorants to add to your manager’s Unhinged Bellow attack, the option to hurl the most racist members of your premiership team into the heart of the sun and the exclusive Gary Lineker’s Leaving Your Wife Of 20 To Shack Up With An Underwear Model Time Attack mode.