The holidays are a time of indecision. Who should you visit? What ugly, uncomfortable seasonal sweater should you wear? Which deity(s) should you dedicate your hedonistic blood celebrations to (aside from Horace, of courace)? And, most importantly, what will you buy before/after your relatives shower you with socks or rocks or whatever it is that passes for a universal gift these days? But it doesn’t end there. Oh no. There are, after all, 927.45 trillion videogames to choose between, so you may as well just start sobbing and curl up in a fetal futility ball right now. Unless… no, no. That’s crazy. But maybe… no. It’ll never work. Ah, what the hell: bundles! Both Indie Royale and Humble Bundle have new offerings up, and they’re quite tempting, if I do say so myself.

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Here it is: the moment you’ve been waiting for – well, if you’re the sort who loves hurling your friends into devious deathtrap gauntlets filled with beasties of all shapes, sizes, and snail-nesses. And if you’re not, I think it’s safe to say that you’re no friend of mine. At any rate, the – to briefly shift into press release parlance, except with actual sincerity – hotly anticipated more-than-350-item dungeon editor for Legend of Grimrock is finally right around the corner. If you’ve got the tough-as-nails dungeon crawler on Steam, though, you can give it a go right now.

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I’ve only just found time to start playing Legend of Grimrock, despite awaiting it eagerly for months. Maybe I’ll manage to finish it before the release of the dungeon editor, although the latest post from Almost Human suggests not.

…we’ve reached internal beta! All the features and functionality is done, now all it needs is just a little bit of polishing and bug fixing and then we can unleash it into the wild. We’re getting close to the finish line, folks!

But will it be possible to create a step sequencer using the editor, turning dungeons into giant drum machines? If only a video could answer that question. If only that video was just below these words.

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Wow. I always thought Legend of Grimrock would be a natural fit for a map editor, but – given that it’s a smaller project in a fairly cutthroat genre – I worried that it’d turn out to be prohibitively complicated for everyone except rocket scientists and RPS readers. Almost Human’s released a video of the almost-complete Dungeon Editor in action, though, and it actually seems tantalizingly intuitive. I mean, it’s no Perpetual Testing Initiative, but you can script some fairly complex stuff in a few clicks and try it out with a single button press. Throughout history, the existence of a cow level has been debatable, but soon, I will craft the> snail level. Glistening bodies and chunky tendrils of mucus as far as the eye can see. Oh yes.

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In our never-ending quest to be a one-stop shop for dads of John Walker the world over, we are utterly dedicated to fetching whatever news-flavored scraps may fall from Almost Human’s table. Sometimes, it gets a bit weird – like when I was pretty sure> mashed potatoes were news. Well, sure enough to take them, anyway. This time, though, I think I’ve come across a bit more of a sure bet. See, Legend of Grimrock will be getting some things in the future. New things, even!

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Dentist by day, dungeoneer by night, John’s dad Hugh has reached the very bottom of Legend Of Grimrock’s mountain prison. In the final part of this series, he meets dinosaurs, floaty wizards, checks out walkthroughs, and stumbles upon a rather big baddie. Obviously this edition contains slight spoilers for the end of the game.>

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As my dad nears the bottom third of Legend Of Grimrock, he seems to be becoming more determined, less likely to tell me he’s quitting, and more likely to turn to YouTube for help than his horrible, grumbling son. To catch up with his previous adventures head here. And then onward!>

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After once again having stripped another missive of seven thousand ill-placed ellipses, John’s dad’s latest diary in the dungeons of Grimrock is here. And now, after a freedom of information request has made private emails available, you can learn John’s pain.>

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Oh, the terrible weight of expectation. How can I possibly live up to or surpass the gimmick in my last Legend of Grimrock post? Well, unless I somehow created an HTML maze that you had to solve in order to find the details about the new Grimrock patch now being out and containing some unexpected bonus goodies, I just can’t. So I’m just going to end this post right here instead. See you!

In the second part of my dad’s adventures in Legend Of Grimrock (you can read part one here) we learn why my dad never goes anywhere in games and takes three million years to finish them. We also learn that he’s putting off writing about the bit where he got stuck and had to have me do it for him. To the dungeons!>

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