Joke review? There's too many, here is the truth.

This is the game that:

You love to hate
You can't sleep at night over
You throw things around the room
You scream at your monitor
You start yelling at people that come in your room and start asking questions
You get ridiculed just for playing a match
You are cheered on by your team
You get flashed by your teammate
You meet children
You meet adults
You meet adults that act like children
You learn the term "tked" the hard way
You are constantly called a kitty cat
You are told you are homosexual
You are told you are lesbian
You are told you will never be a pro despite never trying to be one
You are told you will never be a minor despite never trying to be one
You are told you will never win a lan despite never trying to enter one
You apparently live in your mom's basement
You find out your mom has been having some strange relationships
You find out your dad has been having some strange relationships
You are recommended to drink bleach
You learn you are autistic
You try to ruin someone's internet/real life
You watch people get bans for tking
You meet the most terrible people on the internet
You meet queued people that just look forward to kicking you before the win (If solo queued)
You are held to high degree by your team to clutch everything even 1v4s
You learned the term "clutch or kick" the hard way
You are told you suck even though you have way more kills/kdr than them
You are called a hacker for listening to footsteps
You are told the bomb is B when it is actually A
You pop out of an angle only to get one shotted
You hit sweet sweet flicks
You can't aim worth ♥♥♥♥
You hear the classic excuse "I'm not even trying bro"
You turn racist/culturist
You find the DJs
You find the soundboard bros
You find the most strategic people you will ever meet in a game
You realize you are a rage quitter
You lash out to other people who lash out to you
You try to calm others down
You learn the term "tilted"
You meet people who watch youtube vids and think that's the only way the plan can go
You meet people who think the team should die for them so they can get the kills
You get screwed from people leaving your team
You find people that just like to afk grief and watch your team lose and probably laugh
You find people not skilled enough to play their ranks so they throw the match and derank down
You get in a match and someone needs to go afk for 5-15mins or leave
You play overpass
You realize playing overpass was a terrible choice
You get connection errors
You get screwed over by your IP and get a cooldown ban
You meet who lag purposely
You win some
You lose some
You tie some
You rank up
You rank down
You Ace
You don't get a kill for a long while
You become top fragger
You become bottom fragger
You go 16-0
You go 0-16
You learn the maps
You find out you didn't really learn said maps
You find people calling out to help the team
You find people with no mics to help out the team
You find people with mics that bought the cheapest mic possible

But yet in all the madness somehow it is ok...

You get back on the next day and go through the same roll of ♥♥♥♥ again and you do it with a smile.. at least when you start.

That my friends is a game that will carry on with you forever.

Things I gave to Counter-Strike:
1. Money
2. Time
3. Love

Things Counter-Strike gave me:
1. Arthritis
2. Rage
3, Hatred of Russians,Spanish, and Russians
4. Broken keyboard
5. Broken mouse
6. 9/10 ready
7. Server crashes
8. ♥♥♥♥♥♥ teammates
9. Competitive matches
10. "Ez Pz" spam
11. Multilingual cursing - I guess this is a good thing?
12. Lag
13. Cheaters
14- 64 tick servers

Essentially - CS is a greedy woman, but I love her all the time.

11 / 10 would play again

If your looking for a review on this game you've come to the wrong place, but if your looking for an outstanding lemon bars recipe you've come to the right place.

Ingredients:
1) 2 cups Flour
2) 1/2 cup Sugar
3) 1/4 teaspoon Salt
4) 2 sticks (1 Cup) Salted Butter, Cut Into Small Cubes
5) Filling
6) 1-1/2 cup Sugar
7) 1/4 cup Flour
8) 4 whole Large Eggs
9) Zest And Juice Of 4 Medium-sized Lemons
10) Powdered Sugar, For Sifting

Directions:

1. For the crust: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 9-by-13-inch pan with butter.

2. Stir together the flour, sugar, and salt. Add the butter to the bowl and use a pastry cutter to cut it all together until the mixture resembles fine crumbs. Press into the prepared pan and bake until golden around the edges, about 20 minutes.

3. For the filling: Stir together the sugar and flour. Crack in the eggs and whisk to combine. Add the lemon zest and juice and mix until combined. Pour over the crust and bake about 20 minutes.

4. Allow to cool in the fridge for a minimum of 2 hours, then sift powdered sugar over the top before cutting into squares.

(Use an 8 x 10 pan if you'd like the layers to be a little thicker.)

Are you struggling to learn a foreign language? Would you like to be able to speak, read and write in that foreign language? THE WAIT IS OVER! Now you can learn the foreign language that you want to learn by playing your favourite game EVER!

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive is the best gaming platform for language learners. You can play with "award winning" gamers from all over the world and be able to learn over 9000 languages effectively such as, Russian, Polish, German and even Japanese (everybody speaks English nowadays so who cares about it, right?). You can practice these languages with various players anytime by cursing them in-game and getting instant feedback! Now, isn't that AWESOME!

So what are you still waiting for? Just download Counter-Strike: Global Offensive and start learning your favourite language!

List of languages you will learn if you play this game.

-Russian
-More Russian
-Russian
-Ancient Russian
-Forgotten Russian
-Native Russian
-Advanced Russian
-Unknown Form Of Russian
-Every language in Asia
-Russian
-Russianese
-More Russian
-Nordic Russian
-Slavic Russian
-Amish Russian
-Mexican Russian
-Russianaria
-MADAFAKIN RUSSIAN M*
-and what ever the ♥♥♥♥ language is this "♥♥♥♥ yaw atistek pieze ofp sheet mudafak, ya sock at thesz geme harder then yurr mom. ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥"

. cooldown for kicking afk people
. cooldown if others kick you
. cooldown for leaving matches (even for network connections )
. worst community
. expensive skins
. cooldown for damaging teammates too much (even by accident)
.
.
.
just kidding ;)
best game ever
14/10

Do you like Russians?
Do you like raging and smashing your keyboards
Do you like constant fixing of setting cause game is glitchy
Do you like teamwork
Do you like wasting ur time and money.
Then buy this game it's amazingly addictive
The worse you are the more you play

Honestly, what can i say about CS:GO. This game is a little tricky to get used to but after a while, you'll really enjoy the game. Being able to jetpack across the sky and trickshot the enemy for the game winning kill has to be one of the best things i've ever done on this game. Although the zooming in function may be alittle buggy, the iron sights for the AK and M4 are amazing. Leveling up and getting new attachments for weapons make the game even more fun that it already is. I hope that everyone will consider trying out the game and enjoy all the fun things that make this the best Call of Duty game out there. Thank you for reading.

30% Boosted troll kids
30% Smurfs
30% Cheaters
10% Chance of mental breakdown

Shame was great game once... :D

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive (CS: GO) will expand upon the team-based action gameplay that it pioneered when it was launched 14 years ago.

CS: GO features new maps, characters, and weapons and delivers updated versions of the classic CS content (de_dust, etc.). In addition, CS: GO will introduce new gameplay modes, matchmaking, leader boards, and more.

"Counter-Strike took the gaming industry by surprise when the unlikely MOD became the most played online PC action game in the world almost immediately after its release in August 1999," said Doug Lombardi at Valve. "For the past 12 years, it has continued to be one of the most-played games in the world, headline competitive gaming tournaments and selling over 25 million units worldwide across the franchise. CS: GO promises to expand on CS' award-winning gameplay and deliver it to gamers on the PC as well as the next gen consoles and the Mac."

The competitive game mode is the main grasp of the game for me. It features close to endless enjoyment and always offers a different experience each time. The game is heavily skill based, and will require some time and effort to get better. There is plenty of guns, all with different recoil patterns. There are many maps in the game, and new ones are added during operations. There are also community maps you can play with friends as well. The other gamemodes to competitive are more casual gamemodes, but are usually not as enjoyable, due to the lack of skill groups meaning you will end up against better or worse opponents to yourself.

Graphics are not the main aim of CS:GO. They are nothing special, but are definately improved over previous games. The game is decently optimised, and can run on many machines, even old ones!

The game has microtransactions in the form of weapon skins. They offer no in-game advantage and simply change the appearance of the weapon. They can be bought in the form of cases and keys, bought off the market individually or earned by playing the game as drops. You can sell the weapons and cases you earn from playing the game on the market, equip them for yourself or trade with other players.

10/10 From Me
Sweep