Bought this game, played online, learned fluent russian 2 weeks later.

Kill someone with a P90 - "You're a fuc**** noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a P90 through a smoke - "You're a fuc**** hacker!!"
Kill someone with a AWP - "You're a fuc**** noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a AWP through a door - "You're a fuc**** hacker!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you die - "You're a fuc**** noob!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you win - "You're a fuc**** hacker!!"
Kill someone with a headshot - "Hacker!!"
Get headshoted by someone - "Owned!!" and get teabagged
Kill someone with a grenade - "Luck!!"
Get killed by someone with a grenade - "AHAHAHAHA"
Get teamkilled by someone - "Get out of the way you fuc**** idiot!!"
Accidentally teamkill someone - "You're a fuc**** idiot!!"
Blocked by someone - Dies
Accidentally blocks someone - "Get out the way you fuc**** idiot!!"
Decide to save - "You're a fuc**** coward!!"
Decide not to save - "Save you fuc**** idiot!!"
Kill someone while defending the bomb - "You fuc**** camper!!"
Kill someone while defending the hostages - "You fuc**** camper!!"
Someone dies - The deceased one starts to rage
Your team lose the round - Your team starts to rage
Your team is losing 10-2 - Someone rages quit
Go to the balcony in Italy - "You fuc**** hacker!!"
Worst guy receives a drop - "Are you fuc**** serious!?"
Warm up - Everybody tries to spawn kill
Score is 5-1 in your favor - "This is a T map!"
Score is 1-5 againts you - "This is a CT map!"
Lose the first 2 rounds - Someone asks to get kicked
Last round - Everybody buys Negev
Your team is loosinh and you are in last - Someone vote kicks you
Win a match - All enemy team rages
Lose a match - Yout team rages
Someone's Internet crashes - 30 minutes ban
Your Internet crashes - 7 days ban

10/10
Best rage simulator out there!

I didn't know how many 12 year olds ♥♥♥♥ed my mum until this game opened my eyes.

Got A+ on my Russian exam.

DIGITAL KNIVES ACTUALLY COST MORE THAN REAL KNIVES

10/10 GOODJOB VALVE
WOULD BUY AGAIN

Knife in real life: 10$
Knife in game: 400$

10/10

This game is:

10% luck
20% skill
15% concentrated power of will
5% pleasure
50% pain
100% reason to purchase this game

the book is better

I bought this game for the chickens, and was not disappointed. After exploring the countless lands the chickens have traveled far and wide, I realized their population was growing too large. The chickens had started to inhabit such horrid locations across the world, such as nuclear plants, and offices without cafeterias. I knew what had to be done. I bought a flip knife off of the steam market, and called PETA. I listened to In the Arms of an Angel in my Microsoft Professional Deluxe Gaming Chair 360 for about twelve hours with no response, so, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I loaded up de_nuke and started to put the chickens out of their misery. I cried harder that night than I have ever before.

The next morning, with tears in my eyes, I loaded up Counter-Strike: Global Chicken, and I saw a new item waiting in my inventory. My Flip Knife had turned into a Flip Knife Slaughter. At that moment, I realized what a horrible thing I had done.
With my hand shaking, I navigated my mouse, and uninstalled Counter-Strike: Global Chicken.

I regret everything I have done. I am writing this review to warn you about the chickens, and to let you know I have made a full recovery, and that I have started my new journey in Goat Simulator. Thank you, and farewell.

How to get an expensive knife:
Step 1: You don't.

Hope this helps!

competitive
4 wild russians appear
♥♥♥♥ BLYAT
GeT_KiCkEd for not being russian
5/5

10/10 would spend £100 on keys again so I can relive the experience of getting 20 galil sandstorms

Great way to lose all confidence you had in yourself and the confidence in your team, whilst being called a Noob in more languages then you will understand, and be laughed at because you still run default skins.

10/10 Would recommend to family and friends

"It's like Skyrim with more chickens" -IGN

Bought this game for the storyline 10/10

If This game was a potato it would be a good potato.

Its a good game if you enjoy:
Teamwork
Fast paced
Russians
Shooters
водка
Rage
Ranking systems
направлены бота
дружественного огня

1.)case drop
2.)buy key
3.)open case
4.)wants extraordinary wep or knife
5.)got common wep
6.)buy more cases and keys
7.)got more common weps
8.)rage
9.)repeat

11/10 well done gaben
would buy again

If you have friends, this is a great game to play with them.
If you don't have any friends, this is a great game to play alone.
If you don't have the game to play, get money for it.
If you don't have the money for it, get a job.
If you don't have a job, rob a bank.
If you get arrested robbing the bank, at least you tried.

Best chicken chasing simulator of 2014