Publisert: 24. juni
Stay away from this crap. Seriously. You will think it's good because it's cheap and it's pretty and because fighting inner demons with the power of imaginary friends and a mahusive ego sounds like a good idea. It's not.
Problem 1: Text. Walls and walls of pointless text. NPCs will tell you about your own character in a way that clashes horrendously with the character you have been creating. The narrator will describe beautiful landscapes to you for 5 - 10 minutes at a time, while you're looking at a beautiful, handpainted picture of said landscape. Some battles require you to follow instructions that are unclear, incomplete (but incredibly purple!) and not logged anywhere.
Problem 2: Animation. Too long. No sprint option. Poorly designed map. Repetitive locations. Overly long fade-ins and fade-outs. JUST LET ME PLAY ALREADY.
Problem 3: Sound. While the music fits this game perfectly, the narrator was driving me insane. His performance, like everything else in the game, was far to slow. And having a male narrator read out poorly written text that can't decide whether it's talking TO and AS the female protagonist was just plain confusing. And there no sound effects. Not for walking, not for different environments, not even for the HUD. Which brings me to...
Problem 4: Bugs. The game will freeze regularly. Often during round 50 of a battle during which the save feature is disabled. Sometimes just before or after screen transistions or cutscenes. And in a game this slow, you can never tell when the game actually froze and when it's just being leg-chewingly slow.
Problem 5: The writing. Oh my god, the writing. The writers seem to operate on Tell, Don't Show, Then Tell Again. And Again For Emphasis. And Again Because Otherwise The Game Would Be Over In Half The Time. There is zero character consistence. Dialogue options are extremely restrictive. When you get a rare moment of narrative freedom the game pretends you followed whatever option the writers liked best. The 'humorous' dialogue options come across as psychotic. Every single female NPC can be insulted - allegedly they talk too much. The 'shut up' option for male NPCs that were too creepy was missing entirely. The writers are so full of themselves that they give you this disapproving 'Are you sure you want to skip the intro?' message every single time you start up the game.
Problem 6: Winter Voices: What Do The Devs Want Me To Do? This applies to every single aspect of the game. Trying to navigate from one area of your village to an adjacent one? Too bad, you need to go via the marketplace. Trying to navigate from one area of a different village with the same layout to an adjacent one? Yep, no problem, just head over there. Don't feel like solving riddles? Have fun with those unskippable battles that require ridiculously specific solutions. Looking forward to fleshing out your character via dialogue options? Any choice other than 'sniffling shy mentally 4 year old' is ignored or patronised by the game.
Problem 7 (SPOILER Ep 3): The sexual assault scene on the boat. Out of character for everyone and the godawful writing made me hate my companion ('I will beat up this person you've enjoyed flirting with for the past few days, but will stare blankly into nothingness after the resident drunk assaulted you twice.'). Of course the game was written by French males, so it has to have at least one sexual assault on a woman.
Problem 8: I think the crow wants to romance me.