Why walk when you can teleport? Control Glorch in a challenging puzzle platformer where your only weapon is the almighty "Telenade." Navigate difficult platforming puzzles, find some secrets, smash a few robots, and try your best not to die.
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Release Date:
Apr 3, 2017

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Buy Glorch's Great Escape: Walking is for Chumps

 

About This Game

What is this game?

Glorch's Great Escape is a challenging puzzle platformer where your only weapon is the almighty "Telenade," a grenade with a built-in teleporter. Guide Glorch from his prison cell through the defenses of his captor's space station, and help him escape on his impounded ship.


You'll be solving plenty of difficult platforming puzzles and scenarios, finding some secrets, smashing a few robots, and generally dying a whole bunch of times. We've made sure to include a freshly composed jazzy soundtrack to help keep your platformer rage levels in check.

So what is a Telenade, and why is Walking for Chumps?

Glorch can waddle left and right if he must, but he isn't even going to attempt to jump. That sounds like too much effort. Besides, why bother walking when you can just teleport wherever you want to go within range of a short throw? Only chumps would do that.

What is a Glorch anyway?

Glorch is a member of the Glorches, a race of...ahem..."big boned" purple aliens. They are the inventors of the Telenade.

How about a feature rundown?

  • Based on our top 20 Ludum Dare 32 entry of the same name
  • 24 challenging levels, with additional extra-difficult "challenge" levels to unlock by reaching par milestones
  • Plenty of varied puzzles and scenarios to figure out, dangers to avoid, secrets to find, and deadly pits to fall into
  • Each level has been lovingly hand-crafted to find just the right balance of difficult and satisfying
  • Jazzy soundtrack? Yeah.

System Requirements

    Minimum:
    • OS: Windows 7
    • Processor: Intel i3/AMD A8
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Intel HD Graphics 4400
    • DirectX: Version 10
    • Storage: 35 MB available space
    Recommended:
    • OS: Windows 10
    • Processor: Intel i5/AMD A10 or better
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Graphics: GeForce 600/Radeon HD 6000 or better
    • DirectX: Version 11
    • Storage: 50 MB available space
    • Additional Notes: Mouse (not touchpad) recommended
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