Meet Woody Two-Legs, the least infamous pirate of Seven Seas. Things have never gone quite right for Woody. That is, until he scored big time and got his hands on huge treasure. Sailing to remote island, Woody was about to bury his treasure, just as any good pirate would do.
User reviews: Mixed (39 reviews)
Release Date: Nov 2, 2010
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About This Game

Meet Woody Two-Legs, the least infamous pirate of Seven Seas. Things have never gone quite right for Woody. That is, until he scored big time and got his hands on huge treasure. Sailing to remote island, Woody was about to bury his treasure, just as any good pirate would do.

Unfortunately, it turned out that the original owner of the treasure, namely Mr. Jones and his retinue of undead pirates, caught up with Woody. Small as he might be, Woody Two-Legs will not going to give up without a fight.

Help Woody Two-Legs to fight wave after wave of undead pirates, defeat deadly bosses, collect bonuses and use devastating special weapons. All legs on deck!

Key Features:

  • Chase the high scores on the online scoreboard and don’t settle for anything less than the Best of the Best
  • Unlock the various difficulty levels ultimately ending up in the extremely insane Nightmare-mode
  • Check in on a regular basis to make sure no one has dethroned your score, or then to simply make it better and harder to beat “Defeat your friends & foes on the online scoreboard”
  • Follow the story of Woody Two-Legs trough the exiting campaign mode or play your favorite level in the Level play mode
  • Fight the evil forces of Mr. Jones on several different levels of intensity
  • Face the zombies, skeletons and ghosts ships and their grim bosses and finally face off with Mr. Jones himself

Woody Two-Legs is a casual score chasing arcade shooter that offers the player various degrees of un-lockable difficulty, building gradually on intensity with wave after wave of attack by the retinue of undead pirates and their unholy allies. Part of the addiction lies in the fact that these enemies become increasingly nasty as the player unlocks the various difficulty modes, ultimately facing up against the man himself in the ultimate boss fight in Nightmare Mode.

System Requirements

    • OS: Windows 7 / Vista / XP
    • Processor: 2.0 GHz Core Duo or equivalent
    • Memory: 2 GB RAM
    • Hard Disk Space: 4 GB
    • Video Card: 256 MB of dedicated memory with support for pixel shader 3.0. NVIDIA 7800 or equivalent
    • Sound Card: DirectX9 compatible
    • Controller Support: 3-button mouse, keyboard and speakers
Helpful customer reviews
6 of 7 people (86%) found this review helpful
2.2 hrs on record
cons:
-very hard game (controls and design)
-so hard; 'casual' tag not for difficulty but for depth

pros:
-satisfying when you sink ships
-you are a pirate

improvements that would make me pre-order a sequel:
-twin-stick movement/aiming (full controller support)
-local co-op
-non-gold-protection gameplay
-perks like in COD or altitude (really any kind of expanded ship options instead of only powerups from fallen enemies)
-more seamonsters
-shareable/editable custom maps/challenges of player-chosen compositions/strategies of enemies etc
Posted: September 21
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6 of 12 people (50%) found this review helpful
1.9 hrs on record
pretty fun. though they make it impossible to win without any piratses stealing your gold
Posted: June 13
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3 of 8 people (38%) found this review helpful
2.0 hrs on record
Not sure why I bought this. Would not make the same mistake twice unless I had children to play it.
Posted: June 20
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15 of 19 people (79%) found this review helpful
1.0 hrs on record
With a name like Woody Two-Legs: Attack of the Zombie Pirates I don't believe anyone actually expected this to be a good game. Even still I was hopeful that I would be able to find some dumb fun hidden underneath the ridiculous title and obvious low development budget, but alas Woody Two-Legs is nothing of the sort. What we have instead is a poorly designed and repetitive game, with impressively low production values and confusing controls that is above all else very, very boring.

As scoundrel pirate Woody Two-Legs, out pillaging ships on Halloween night, you mistakenly taken the treasure of Davy Jones and raised his scourge of undead minions determined to get it back. As is the case with most pirates Woody isn't about to let go of his loot, and so a desperate back and forth begins that you unfortunately must take part of.

Woody plays like something of a twin-stick shooter, with waves of enemies approaching from all sides attempting to make off with the treasure on the island in the middle and sink your ship in the process. The difference here is that you are controlling a ship, and as such have to account for the time it takes to turn as well as only being able to fire from your side cannons. It almost sounds like an interesting concept, until you actually attempt to play it and realize how unnecessarily confusing it makes everything.

Controlling your ship is very awkward and hard to do with any sort of precision, and shooting enemies is even more frustrating do to having to retrain your brain to remember which way your ship is facing and then choose the right side to shoot out of (when you are constantly turning around, remembering which was is left and right is much more challenging than it sounds like). Even if you manage to get the controls down, the gameplay just isn't fun. Enemies come in three barely indistinct varieties, with the only difference being if their end objective is to kill or steal from you, providing no satisfaction to destroy and disappearing in a puff of white smoke. Each of the five level plays and looks exactly the same with no variation save the boss at the end (which also repeat after a point) and how dark it is, and which take an agonizing 10-20 minutes to complete with no change to enemies patterns or any other means to revitalize the experience (which is already tiring after the first few moments).

I was willing to give Woody a chance despite every indication it would be a horrible time, but it surpassed even my low expectations. Paradox has released a lot of forgettable games and this is one of the worst; an astonishingly monotonous experience that not even the combination of zombies and pirates could save.

Yes it's cheap, dirt cheap even during sales; no it is not worth your time, money, or the braincells you will lose trying to play it.
Posted: January 27
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4 of 5 people (80%) found this review helpful
1.7 hrs on record
This game is extremely terrible. It is repetitive beyond belief. Every stage is the same boring thing with the same boring enemies, just more of them.

There are only a handful of item upgrades, which are all extremely temporary, and some of them are terrible. The giant web is the worst of them all for the fact you can get stuck in it and it lasts what feels like forever. Although, it is good for the boss fights.

The ship collision is the worst thing in the game. When you bump into a ship you spin into a random direction. You can also get stuck between the islands for a good period of time while you are bouncing around between ships and land trying to get free.

The basic price is ridiculous for what you get. Do not buy, even on a sale. The game is complete garbage at any price.
Posted: January 8
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