This ♥♥♥♥ing game is a wineskin and crossover emulation, takes two minutes to launch and horrid controls that can't be changed. Voice acting's terrible, the "professor" sounds like he's having an endless voice crack. Models look outdated and freaking terrible like they belong on Bubsy 3D, which is obviously not the aim of the game's textures. However, I give them credit for the map textures.
This is also one of those games that have the pain in the ♥♥♥ "stuck zoomed in on this", where it basically disables the zoom out function on your computer to acess other windows, so if it freezes, you're screwed, you have to reboot the whole computer because CID won't budge.
The fact that this is an emulation is what I can't stand. The developers obviously didn't know how to make an actual port so it runs correctly on Macs and Linuxes. If you wanna make an actual port, buy a Mac or Linux to actually learn how it should work on them.
The storyline, oh my god, as if it wren't more bland. All they're saying is that the world went ballscrazy with safety and that a robot crash dummy was invented. That's it? Why do I see him running through graveyards, volcanoes, and spaceships? I haven't gotten far into it because I already got too bored of this, but why do I see him in such random areas if he's only designed to test safety measures? And if it's a world obsessed with safety, WHY THE HELL ARE SUCH THINGS BEING LETHAL? The cover literally shows him running from a giant robot shooting lasers out of it's eyes, so the plot is misleading.
There is no wonder why this is $2. I'm impressed, I may've found one of the worst games Steam has to offer. I want my $2 back, this was not worth it.
Posted: January 16th, 2014