I begin with the United Kingdom, quickly releasing all nations that it holds such as that of Australia, Canada, Ireland... Ireland...This shall be my empire, this shall be where I forge my glorious ideals of a world wide state, dominated by guiness and whiskey. I began expanding, I was making a lot of money, so much infact that I had begun taking over the world's market, despite the fact I was only a small nation. I needed raw materials, Ireland as an island, was not quite enough. My military slowly grew, soldier after soldier poured out of the gates of the Dublin Military Academy. I tried begging France to join me on my righteous crusade. I built boats as to carry my army, now I shall leave the greatest cities of Asia but smouldering piles of rock and ash. I landed in Johore, a small country in the Malay area. The many armies, 1st of Cork, 3rd of Derry, all fought hard in the jungle and despite disease and famine pulled through, it was now mine, it was now Ireland's.
I begun developing this hell-hole into a place where an Irishman could hop off the steamboat and expect a pint waiting for him by the beach. Sadly, the Ottoman Empire decided we were getting too big for ourselves, too cocky. They landed in Galloway, forcing up to Dublin through the few troops that were left behind after the conquest of General O'Doherty in Asia. I quickly negotiated peace, they demanded we disarm, we had little option. I began to rebuild the country, look to other places for inspiration. Maybe Africa? What about Western America? As I gazed off into the sea from my cosy office in Dublin I got news of Portugal declaring war? What for? I haven't got the slightest idea. And then again, Britain had now declared war on me! What was I to do? My navy was still half way around the world attempting to frantically sail back to the homeland, disbanding the colony in Johore dismantling that pub that had become so popular with the plantation owners.
The British army quickly crossed from Wales and Belgium, my closest ally at the time, refused to aid me in my most finest hour. I quickly negotiated peace with Britain once again, however Portugal was more stubborn. By calling my peasants to arms I managed to fend off the assault from Lisbon and just as the troops were recovering, awaiting supplies and reinforcements from Asia, the Netherlands declared war. I once again quickly negotiated with Portugal to face my new oponent, the sky was looking dark for Ireland and her dreams of imperialism. The Dutch landed in Derry, I couldn't fend them off, all other nations had put me under mandatory disarmament - I couldn't call any more units to arms, it was a disaster! The Netherlands thankfully backed off, supposedly seeing some dim light in my attempts of peace. Now under four consecutive disarmament orders and being passed pillar-to-post by nations like a puppet state, Ireland sits thoughtfully on the side of Britain - its empire decimated, its people sat in sadness and its cities burning from the cannons of Europe. Not much to do now but bide our time in hopes of another oppurtunity...one day...
Such is the life of a potato farmer with big dreams.