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You are the Bard, a selfish rogue weary of pointless sub-quests and rat-infested cellars. Now includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3!
Release Date: Jun 17, 2005
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Buy The Bard's Tale

$9.99

Reviews

“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.”
– IGN

“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale”
– Game Chronicles

“This game is satire in its sharpest form”
– Cheat Code Central

Just Updated

  • Includes Original Classic Trilogy
  • WASD controls for movement
  • Added French, German and Spanish Localizations for text/subtitles
  • German Dialog (accessible under Sound Options when game language is set to German)
  • Full Wide Screen support + supports resolutions higher than 1600 wide.
  • Performance enhancements.
  • External URLs links on main menu for support pages and related media.
  • Bug Fixes to original release

About the Game

Now includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3!
You are the Bard, a selfish rogue weary of pointless sub-quests and rat-infested cellars. Through magical song you summon characters to join your quest for coin and cleavage!
Prepare to immerse yourself in over 20-30 hours of adventure, featuring:
  • 50 enemy types (not counting bosses!)
  • A vast world to explore with towns, wild forests, rivers, castles, towers, secret dungeons, snowy mountains, caverns, haunted tombs and more
  • A full cast of bizarre NPC’s
  • Over a dozen special boss enemies to defeat
  • 16 magical characters to discover and then summon at will to aid you
  • Over 150 unique items of weaponry, armor, instruments, tokens, artifacts and loot!
  • More Song & Dance numbers than any other game, including a zombie dance-off!
  • Over 14 hours of outstanding voice-acting from top Hollywood talent, including Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the Bard, and the inimitable Tony Jay as the Narrator
  • Classics Games—includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3.

PC System Requirements

    • OS: Windows 2000/XP/Vista
    • Processor: Pentium 4 2Ghz / AMD AthlonXP 2400
    • Memory: 512Mb
    • Graphics: GeForce FX5700 or better / ATI Radeon 9600 or better
    • DirectX®: 9.0c
    • Hard Drive: 6GB of free space
    • Sound: DirectX 9 Compatible Sound Card

Mac System Requirements

    • OS: OS X 10.6.0 or higher
    • Hard Drive: 3.6GB Hard disk space

Linux System Requirements

    • OS: X11 enabled Linux distro
    • Processor: Pentium 4 2Ghz / AMD AthlonXP 2400
    • Memory: 512Mb
    • Graphics: GeForce FX5700 or better / ATI Radeon 9600 or better
    • OpenGL: 2.0 compatible video card and compatible drivers
    • Hard Drive: 3.8GB of free space
    • Sound: OpenAL compatible sound card and necessary drivers
Helpful customer reviews
40 of 43 people (93%) found this review helpful
109 products in account
13 reviews
5.0 hrs on record
The Bard's Tale is a great casual RPG that takes you back to gaming as it was nearly ten years ago. So be prepared for a top down third person view most of the time. What makes it most enjoyable are the bawdy humor in the dialog and the lyrics to the songs.

Our hero in the game, The Bard, is not really a hero; but a scounderal given to snarky comments and possessed of an ability to get himself into trouble. His comments are not limited to dialog with NPC's. He is equally capable of taking issue with the narrator and both seem to have a mutual hate relationship which adds to the fun. You'll also encounter Scottish, English and French accents with a healthy dose of Scottish words for things, which is fitting for story based on legends from the Orkney Islands of Scotland.

The Bard needs to recruit a team to help rescue a damsel in distress and true to his character, he's not willing to help without a reward, which the damsel offers. That offer ought to make you chuckle. Along the way you'll summon many creatures and finally figure out which ones are most useful to you. After that you'll have an opportunity to really wreak mayhem and get yourself into some interesting situations. The game is full of cliche's on purpose and they spice it up instead of detract from game-play. And of course there are always complications along the way to add dimension to the game.

The screen resolution choices are based on what was available at release time. Don't fuss over them too much. Pick the largest resolution with the same ratio as your screen and it ought to look fine anyway. Works fine on a 1900x1200 monitor.

It can be played with a controller, but you may find the onscreen prompts to be confusing and awkward. If you do use a controller, you can find a useful list of controls at http://www.gamefly.com/Rent-The-Bard%27s-Tale/109860/GameplayControls/ - seriously though, the game is best player with a mouse and keyboard. It just works better for a game this old.

The original game was released in 1985 and twenty years later this version was released with much improved graphical content and music. If you want the full retro experience, the menu system will let you load up the original game and have a go at it.

If you want to get a feel for the music and dialog in the 2005 version of the game, I would recommend these YouTube videos:

* The Tale of the Nuckelavee
* The Bard's Tale Silkbeard and the Viking Song
* Here's to the Bard
* The Chosen One #4 (There are several variations of this song and all of them have an Oompa Loopa feel to them right down to ending with a Diddly-Do.)

I just replayed a bit of the game on my Win gaming rig, but it will play equally well on a computer with low graphics capabilities. Worked just fine on a stripped down Mac Mini when I played it a few months back. (Disclaimer - used non-Steam version on my Mac.)
Posted: December 4th, 2013
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23 of 27 people (85%) found this review helpful
106 products in account
7 reviews
24.7 hrs on record
One of the best RPGs I ever played. Funny as hell, good story, interesting gameplay. Only problem i had with it is that it gets a tad repetitive towards the end.
Posted: November 26th, 2013
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19 of 22 people (86%) found this review helpful
1,051 products in account
54 reviews
17.5 hrs on record
This game is not a challenger to Diablo. You will not horde items and decide whether you would like the quicker sword with a less power, or the more powerful t hat's a bit slower. You won't have to make difficult decisions about whether to save a woman or save a town. The RPG mechanics are not innovative or thought-provoking. And the quest will not demand countless hours of your life. You will, however, enjoy every step in your (short) journey.

It's funny, it's quirky, and you'll never have to worry about anything except from moving forward. Everything you pick up is something you automatically equip or something that turns instantly to gold. (you should still look at what these things are, though, as often times it's hilarious). Even new weapons when you find one, will be automatically equipped, and your old sword will turn to gold. These are not admirable designs in deep, generic adventure games. In this game though, which you play alone, they are godsends.

It's cheap right now on Steam, and worth every penny. It won't change your life, but it will leave you happy.
Posted: December 2nd, 2013
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11 of 14 people (79%) found this review helpful
257 products in account
2 reviews
2.4 hrs on record
An absolutely underrated gem by inXile. With a combat system remnicient of the Dark Alliance and Champions of Norrath games for PS2, this wonderful adventure filled with song and dance has some of the most clever writing and dialogue I've seen in a comedic RPG. You play The Bard, a quick-witted silver-tongued minstrel with the power to summon creatures and companions through song. Narrated by the sultry Tony Jay, this snarky, heart-warming tale of adventure will have you singing in bloody stitches.

Prepare your Fourth Wall. It's in for a good breaking.
Posted: December 2nd, 2013
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4 of 5 people (80%) found this review helpful
63 products in account
3 reviews
30.0 hrs on record
A classic. Game centers around The Bard, a less saving-the-world, more coins-and-cleavage kinda guy. Well worth my money.
Posted: February 13th, 2014
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