You are the Bard, a selfish rogue weary of pointless sub-quests and rat-infested cellars. Now includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3!
User reviews:
Overall:
Very Positive (448 reviews) - 80% of the 448 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: Jun 17, 2005

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Reviews

“The Bard’s Tale is easily the funniest game I’ve ever played, and I’ve played all the funny games out there.”
– IGN

“Ready your weapon and bladder as you embark on this ridiculously addicting quest and the funniest adventure of the year, The Bard’s Tale”
– Game Chronicles

“This game is satire in its sharpest form”
– Cheat Code Central

Just Updated

  • Includes Original Classic Trilogy
  • WASD controls for movement
  • Added French, German and Spanish Localizations for text/subtitles
  • German Dialog (accessible under Sound Options when game language is set to German)
  • Full Wide Screen support + supports resolutions higher than 1600 wide.
  • Performance enhancements.
  • External URLs links on main menu for support pages and related media.
  • Bug Fixes to original release

About This Game

Now includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3!
You are the Bard, a selfish rogue weary of pointless sub-quests and rat-infested cellars. Through magical song you summon characters to join your quest for coin and cleavage!
Prepare to immerse yourself in over 20-30 hours of adventure, featuring:
  • 50 enemy types (not counting bosses!)
  • A vast world to explore with towns, wild forests, rivers, castles, towers, secret dungeons, snowy mountains, caverns, haunted tombs and more
  • A full cast of bizarre NPC’s
  • Over a dozen special boss enemies to defeat
  • 16 magical characters to discover and then summon at will to aid you
  • Over 150 unique items of weaponry, armor, instruments, tokens, artifacts and loot!
  • More Song & Dance numbers than any other game, including a zombie dance-off!
  • Over 14 hours of outstanding voice-acting from top Hollywood talent, including Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) as the Bard, and the inimitable Tony Jay as the Narrator
  • Classics Games—includes original classic games The Bard’s Tale 1, 2 & 3.

System Requirements

Windows
Mac OS X
SteamOS + Linux
    • OS: Windows 2000/XP/Vista
    • Processor: Pentium 4 2Ghz / AMD AthlonXP 2400
    • Memory: 512Mb
    • Graphics: GeForce FX5700 or better / ATI Radeon 9600 or better
    • DirectX®: 9.0c
    • Hard Drive: 6GB of free space
    • Sound: DirectX 9 Compatible Sound Card
    • OS: OS X 10.6.0 or higher
    • Hard Drive: 3.6GB Hard disk space
    • OS: X11 enabled Linux distro
    • Processor: Pentium 4 2Ghz / AMD AthlonXP 2400
    • Memory: 512Mb
    • Graphics: GeForce FX5700 or better / ATI Radeon 9600 or better
    • OpenGL: 2.0 compatible video card and compatible drivers
    • Hard Drive: 3.8GB of free space
    • Sound: OpenAL compatible sound card and necessary drivers
Helpful customer reviews
18 of 21 people (86%) found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
22.0 hrs on record
Posted: November 21, 2015
An action RPG where you play as Robert Downey Jr.
It has nothing to do with the first 3 Bard's Tale in both gameplay and story, it's still pretty decent. There's a wide range of summons and a fair amount of equipment to use that'll keep the gameplay interesting enough till the end.
The game doesn't take itself seriously, the Bard always has a casual attitude a which I didn't like that much at the beggining but started to grow on me. The humor is hit&miss, I found maybe a few moments legitimately funny which is alright in an era where developers either think they're too grown up to put in a little life with their game and end up making grimdark garbage or either think that stuffing their games with ebin 9gag memes will make it hilarious.

The game also has some songs of pretty good quality, on top of that each summon is made through playing a bit of music with your instrument. That music changes with each instrument and as you learn upgraded versions of your summons it gets more and more elaborate, a really nice touch.
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12 of 15 people (80%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
0.1 hrs on record
Posted: January 7
The Bard's Tale is another classic dungeon crawler, originally released in the mid 2000's. The story is about a Bard who is recruited on a quest to free a princess named, Caleigh. There are several different endings you can choose from, each with their own consequences and humorous rewards. There are several songs throughout the game which are memorable and still fun to listen to today. While graphically lacking by today's standards, The Bard's Tale is still a fun game to play.
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7 of 8 people (88%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
25.8 hrs on record
Posted: November 12, 2015
This game is old but gold. Its an interesting tale of some guy named Bard who became hero of his new tale. For me most enjoyable parts are a lot of humour, narrator and system where you rely on creatures that you can summon with your musical instrument. Story is pretty common but still fun, with a lot of mockings of modern fantasy settings and tropes. The only downside of this game that you cant get throught some game progress without grinding and btw you can easily level your Bard bad so the game will become unplayable so better use autoleveling.

8 out of 10
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5 of 6 people (83%) found this review helpful
16.0 hrs on record
Posted: March 9
#Discussions_QuoteBlock_Author
Where were we... The Bard was making an ♥♥♥ of himself... And then... ah yes here it is...

Audio9/10
Graphics7/10
Gameplay8/10
Story7/10
Time to beat15hrs
Summary
8/10

PROS
  • Graphics aged well
  • Great songs and atmosphere
  • Suprisingly good humour
  • Intuitive, simple character development
  • A little plot twist
  • Multiple endings

CONS
  • Some bugs (not many, tho)
  • Not very challenging
  • Small replayability potential
  • "Choices" that do not really influence anything

STORY
You play as a bard (or The Bard), whos only goal in life is to sleep with as many sexy women as possible. Unfortunately he becomes The Chosen One and is told to save the princesss, locked on the highest floor in a tower. You'll wander through several dangerous locations and fight with the most dangerous creatures in the world. Is it worth it? *looks at princess's big breasts* Hell yeah!
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3 of 3 people (100%) found this review helpful
24.4 hrs on record
Posted: February 6
Hilarious, fun and addictive.
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