Panzermadels! The first dating simulator to deliver a thoughtful look at tanks, and the men who date them!
User reviews:
Recent:
Very Positive (31 reviews) - 83% of the 31 user reviews in the last 30 days are positive.
Overall:
Very Positive (627 reviews) - 90% of the 627 user reviews for this game are positive.
Release Date: Mar 9, 2016

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Buy Panzermadels: Tank Dating Simulator

 

Recent updates View all (5)

July 17

Five Hours Left to Pledge for "Stay! Stay! DPRK"



You know the drill fam, everyone who pledges to the Collective will receive an increase to their food ration... of one piece of stale bread. <3

15 comments Read more

June 27

Support Our Next Project!



Stay! Stay! Democratic People's Republic of Korea!: My First (and only) Trip to North Korea

Stay! Stay! Democratic People's Republic of Korea is made by 'DEVGRU-P' a small team of American developers in the style of a classic work of literature Japanese Visual Novel. You know exactly what we're doing here... Don't lie. With two different romance plot-lines and a multiple of endings based on your choices, Stay! Stay! Democratic People's Republic of Korea will keep you entertained for a number of playthroughs!







STORY
The year is 2021, America is back in Afghanistan, and you, soldier, are about to get a well deserved vacation. What better way to spend it than with some of your Korean Army pen-pals, Jeong and Eunji? "Pyongyang" is just a suburb of Seoul, right?

Unfortunately not.

Welcome to North Korea the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Enjoy your stay... stay!



FEATURES

Try and navigate your way through one of the world's most tightly controlled dictatorships, with two cute soldiers by your side. Avoid getting shot, executed, black-bagged, or tried for treason as you explore Pyongyang's most famous tourist attractions.

Stay! Stay! Democratic People's Republic of Korea will bring all the heart-warming, non-offensive humor you expect from a DEVGRU-P game! In Stay! Stay! DPRK, you will be able to...

  • Go on vacation.
  • See North Korea Best Korea.
  • Travel around with cute tour guides military police officers.
  • Date Them.
  • Also there's probably a hot spring or something.
  • We know what you're here for.







Jeong - The older sister and an Intelligence Officer in the Korean People's Army. She learned English at the Korean Ministry of State Security and speaks it very well, although she still has trouble with American slang and euphemisms.




Eunji - The younger sister and a Military Police Officer in Pyongyang. She never learned much English and gets frustrated by Jeong speaking better than her. She has a "no-nonsense" attitude, and can out-shoot anyone else in the Pyongyang Military Police Battalion.



(Note - Stay! Stay! DPRK is not associated with OVERDRIVE © or MangaGamer ©)

55 comments Read more

Reviews

“More anti-feminist filth from game industry. Tank-dating simulators objectify tanks, reducing them to sexual objects.”
Brianna Wu

“Poland is more or less Meg Griffin, and the other tanks treat her as such (“shut up, Poland”).”
8/10 – OP Noobs

“It is illegal to have sex with a sentient military-owned tank in Japan. A private tank is fair, but a military tank can’t consent and it’s considered defamation of military property... Even if she’s super flirty and very much interested in you.”
War Is Boring

About This Game

STORY

Erwin Lemmor just got transferred to a prestigious military academy to study Armored Warfare. But when he arrives, Erwin realizes it's not Tank School, but "Tank School" for World War II Tanks. Who happen to look just like Japanese School Girls...!

Instead of studying military history and doctrine, he's in "Basic Artillery Computations for Fire Support 101", and "Radio Operations 214". Will he win the heart of the tank-girls, or end up as cannon fodder? Only you can decide in, "Panzermadels: Tank Dating Simulator".

DETAILS

Panzermadels is made by 'DEVGRU-P' a small team of American developers in the style of a traditional Japanese Visual Novel. Unabashedly goofy, the game takes every trope you know from visual novels, and puts a distinctly Tank-Related twist on them! With six different romance plot-lines and a multiple of endings based on your choices, Panzermadels will keep you entertained for a number of playthroughs!

FEATURES

  • Join the Army.
  • See the World Darkest Depths of Your Frail Existence.
  • Meet Fun and Interesting People Tanks.
  • Date Them.
  • Also There's a Beach Episode.

System Requirements

Windows
Mac OS X
    Minimum:
    • OS: Microsoft Windows Vista
    • Processor: 1.5 Ghz Processor
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Integrated Graphics Chip
    • Storage: 2 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: If your PC can't run this how are you running Steam?
    Recommended:
    • OS: Microsoft Windows 7
    • Processor: Anything better than a 1.5Ghz Processor
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Integrated Graphics Chip
    • Storage: 4 GB available space
    Minimum:
    • OS: Mac OS X 10.6 / 10.7 / 10.8 / +
    • Processor: 1.5 Ghz Processor
    • Memory: 4 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Integrated Graphics Chip
    • Storage: 2 GB available space
    • Additional Notes: Your grandfather's Mac could probably run this.
    Recommended:
    • OS: Mac OS X 10.6 / 10.7 / 10.8 / +
    • Processor: Anything better than a 1.5Ghz Processor
    • Memory: 8 GB RAM
    • Graphics: Integrated Graphics Chip
    • Storage: 4 GB available space
Customer reviews
Customer Review system updated! Learn more
Recent:
Very Positive (31 reviews)
Overall:
Very Positive (627 reviews)
Recently Posted
crocodile cj
4.4 hrs
Posted: August 24
so i was recomended this game by a freind simply because i like tanks.
although i shouldn't have found it fun. i did and no shame admiting that.
was preety well scripted although be it a bit weird.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
poikkeus
9.0 hrs
Posted: August 24
Mildly entertaining dating sim. Seems to very similar to the Panzer und Girls anime (which I loved), but Panzermaids is just a text-based game. Bargain basement graphics, partially redeemed by a handful of clever jokes - and a few cute girls.

Way, way overpriced.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
PEPSI MAN
3.4 hrs
Posted: August 23
"Would you ♥♥♥♥ a tank?"
"Yeah I'd ♥♥♥♥ a tank."
Helpful? Yes No Funny
loaf bloke
0.2 hrs
Posted: August 23
this is disgusting! dating a vehicle is immoral and wrong. it's against god's will.







and this is a small price to pay to go to hell ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Doublesheen
4.4 hrs
Posted: August 22
Pros:
- the strange concept of the game works well
- decent characterisation in the tanks
- the jokes were magnificent
- credits music is great

Cons:
- there isn't much variety in the plot - every playthrough is more or less the same just with different dialogue based on the characters you choose to date
- my friends were convinced for a fortnight that I have a fetish for tanks


I can easily come back and play this game when I've got an hour to kill and fancy a laugh.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
LagPlayer
0.8 hrs
Posted: August 21
It only took humanity a little over 70 years to turn the deadliest war in history into a dating sim.

10/10
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Joekenorer
1.4 hrs
Posted: August 21
I bought this ♥♥♥♥ing game on a whim. I've known about dating sims but have never played one. I played through once and feel like I got about $2.00 worth of game play, $20 worth of laughs, and $7 of "wtf?". 10/10 but would not play again.

I died doing what I love... riding tanks.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Boris The Blade
23.7 hrs
Posted: August 20
I have a good time with this game.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
droppedtominus9hp
1.4 hrs
Posted: August 19
This game is dumb. It has moments where it seems like it's becoming something sublime; but ultimately never rises above that. I'd only recommend this if you needed to throw money away for the purpose of giving someone a nasty surprise.
Helpful? Yes No Funny
KingThomas07
3.6 hrs
Posted: August 17
*Stool squeaks*
"♥♥♥♥ you stool! Nobody likes you!"

10/10
Helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  In the past 30 days
31 of 34 people (91%) found this review helpful
25 people found this review funny
Recommended
2.1 hrs on record
Posted: August 9
right now im harder than the maus front armour
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
21 of 25 people (84%) found this review helpful
12 people found this review funny
Recommended
5.6 hrs on record
Posted: August 2
I dated a crazy is-2 and then shot for desertion 10/10
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
13 of 15 people (87%) found this review helpful
5 people found this review funny
Recommended
7.2 hrs on record
Posted: August 10
Product received for free
Every time I try to get some Russian ♥♥♥♥♥ I get ♥♥♥♥ blocked by america....



10/10 spent 2 hours with russians and lots of vodka
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
10 of 11 people (91%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Recommended
2.9 hrs on record
Posted: August 13
Product received for free
You can ♥♥♥♥ the tanks.


Now let's try that with boats, eh?



...oh wait...
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
7 of 7 people (100%) found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
Recommended
7.0 hrs on record
Posted: August 11
Now, to begin with, I never played any dating sim before. And I don't know how or why I discovered this Game and, not even to start with why I decided to buy.
Somehow I just spent the 10 bucks and I must say, I'ts worthwhile...
At least semi-well written puns and the hope for getting a Tank laid where a lot of fun. Like way more fun than a David Cage game...
Almost so, my friend nearly converted to weraboo pervism...yay.

Now, get your money, buy the game, and get your best tank/girlfriend laid.
Or just all of them. In no particular/alphabetic/numeric order.

as a wise man once said, DON'T LET YOUR MEMES BE DREAMS. JUST DO IT
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
4 of 4 people (100%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Recommended
6.7 hrs on record
Posted: August 4
So ... well ... actually, I don't REALLY know what to say. The game kinda freaked me out and I'm confused for the rest of my life now.

This is not a game which is recommended to you by your buddy who says "This is such a great game, go pick it up." Nooooo. You see the trailer and say " ... why the bloody hell does that exist?" Then you go pick it up, because you are curious what kind of nonsense this is.

First of all, it's a mediocre VN - the decisions you make barely have impact to the storyline, the situations are the same with each character and they almost always say the same and the ending doesn't change depending on your decisions (also, the ending is ♥♥♥♥ing HORRIBLE). The characters are somewhat well drawn, but surely no masterpiece, also, they have like 5 or 6 facial expressions, so not a lot of effort there.

What makes this game REALLY fun and engaging are the dialogues - being full of innuendo and exagerated comments, they made me laugh more than once and it actually was fun playing through this multiple times just because I wanted to see what each character says. Even tho it was always the same, it was always said in their own style (like the russian throws around with ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥, the german one with hitler and scheiße and so on).

This game is surely not a masterpiece, but it is hella fun to play. I bought this in the last sale for 4,50€ and didn't regret it, helped me kill 6 hours. However, if you expect a great story, good plots, impactful decisions or even logic in a game, you should probably avoid this. This game lives off it's dialogues, nothing else.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
4 of 4 people (100%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.8 hrs on record
Posted: August 21
It only took humanity a little over 70 years to turn the deadliest war in history into a dating sim.

10/10
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
2 of 3 people (67%) found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Recommended
1.6 hrs on record
Posted: August 16
If I ever need that EXTRA little smidge of courage to drop the toaster in the bathtub, I'll fire this one up again.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
3 of 6 people (50%) found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
Recommended
3.2 hrs on record
Posted: July 28
I bought this game as a joke when my brother told me about it, little did I know I'd actually really enjoy it. If you love anime, Warfare and history you will probably love this game. It has it's odd moments but in general it's hilarious and just a great game in all.
Was this review helpful? Yes No Funny
Most Helpful Reviews  Overall
924 of 1,044 people (89%) found this review helpful
899 people found this review funny
Recommended
2.5 hrs on record
Posted: March 9
"So... Have you ever been inside a tank?"

Only this game can turn this question into a sexual innuendo.

9/10

EDIT:

O.K. Actual Review.

Overall, this game was a real surpise for me, since I expected a pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ensemble of anime tropes mixed in with only subtle hints of tanks. But the devs, DEVGRU-P, actually made an impressive amount of work into this game, considering their Kickstarter made $4000, and their Patreon is getting about $260 a month for the game. Now, I don't know how much it takes to make a video game, but this seems like a small amount considering the quality of the game so far.

GOOD:

The Artwork is very reminiscent of a certain God-tier Visual Novel, Katawa Shoujo, which I loved very much, and because of that I consider this a very great part of the game.

Humor in the game is great. If any of you check out the game's community forum, you can get a sneak peak of the dev's humor. The humor is a combination of historic events that took place during WW2, and a bit afterwords and stuff, with refences from popular war movies, Like Full Metal Jacket and the like, and humor pointed more towards tank buffs who know a good bit about tanks and how each one worked during the war.

Multiple routes. Many Visual Novels have multiple routes; it's a staple of the genre. Now of days, the average is 3-4, with maybe a cameo romance route added in. The game has 5. And the devs said they're adding more. FOR FREE.

A potato could run it. I know, "It's a Visual Novel, why the hell wouldn't you be able to run it?!" Well, it's just always good to hear of games that run well on a variety of hardware, especially at launch.

Perverted S@#t. Yeah, its a Visual Novel, it's also a staple to have a bit of perversion in some of them. That's great, but do a lot of Visual Novel devs go about releasing the H-Version patch for anybody who bought the game on steam to use? Not really, but these devs are. Usually you'd have to find a patch on the internet, and hope to God it works, but the devs are making it simple. Kudos for doing that.

BAD:

Currently I havent figured out how to get fullscreen to work. No biggy, I play these games in windowed mode anyways, but not having fullscreen is kind of a big deal in todays game market. Im assuming this should be an easy thing to do, so I'm not mad about that.

Music cuts out, or isnt noticeable. The music is alright, it has songs from somewhat notable artists like Kevin Macleod and such, so thats good since the songs included are good. But I feel like the music either cuts out, or just isn't noticeable when I felt like it should have been needed. No big deal, again, but music is important, it adds ambience to the game, and provides some immersion. I still dont know if music not being included in some parts is on purpose, or if I just dont have good hearing, so whatever.

Each Route is short. The 5 characters routes each take about 2 hours, and thats assuming if you dont skip. Which, I'll talk about later. If you do skip, the characters actually unique parts are about an hour? So yeah, kind of short, but 10 hours of gameplay for $10 is OK in my books.

Ending is confusing. So apparently, the endings for almost each character is the same. Thats fine, as long as the parts in between are unique, right? Well, the ending just confused the complete ♥♥♥♥ out of me. Either figure out the ending yourself, or watch a walkthrough, and you might see what I mean.

UGLY:

Skipping is messed up. Visual Novels usually have the ability to skip parts that you've experience before, for the people who just want to experience the unique parts of every characters route. Right now, skipping makes dialouge go by fast, and a little bit later it'll stop the skip at the players choice part. The bad thing is, after you make your choice, THE GAME CONTINUES SKIPPING DIALOUGE. I don't know if maybe I just messed up skipping or something, but this is really bad. I missed bits of dialouge because of this, and its annoying. The only way to make it so dialouge isnt skipped after making a choice is to bring up the menu before choosing, and closing it, THEN making your choice. So yeah, thats messed up? I'm just used to it stopping the skip function after you make your choice, and you can choose to skip portions of the game that youve experience before already.

No ability to bring up steam overlay, or take screenshots. This is another that I can't figure out. I'm guessing because there is no fullscreen, steam overlay isn't allowed, and so because of that you cant tak steam screenshots? Some people must of figured it out, since they've uploaded pictures, but I still dont know.

No ability to view pictures from the game. Usually Visual Novels allow you to view the important pictures that you've experienced from a completed route (This usually includes the H-scenes, and other lewd scenes, which most people use this function for, but it can also include the background art and extra stuff.) so you dont have to remember to screenshot whenever you want to keep a scene or for when you forget something, or just for your viewing pleasure. This is also important, AND THIS IS A WELL BIG THING. Without this, Players will either have to replay an entire route, and try the skip mechanic in order to view pictures or scenes, OR will have to scan the internet in order to find a favorite scene or pic. This is just a big problem that I can't forgive, because I need to be able to keep photos for later, for science of course.

OVERALL: 9/10 for the actual game, 7/10 for the game including its features and mechanics.

Most of the problems associated with the game are either bugs, developer oversights (I hope), or is something somewhat negligible. I usually grade games by their value in terms of how much fun I had with them, and this game I had fun with. Your first playthrough will be great because you won't have to deal with skip mechanics and ♥♥♥♥, but your next few will be annoying if you want to skip the non-unique parts of the game. Overall, give the game a chance if you enjoy Visual Novels, because this is a truly original game that had the balls to make fun of an internet meme enough to make a game parodying it.
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